~*~GREEN EYES~*~
Chapter 45- Misconceptions
"James, you really need to talk to Lily," said Sirius as he walked into his dorm room. James had his nose in the black book he had been reading so often lately. Sirius was dying to know what it was, but James wouldn't tell him.
"Not now Sirius, I'm reading," replied James. Sirius pretended he didn't hear James.
"Lauren read this letter that Remus and Jeanine were writting to each other. She infered from it that I was cheating on her, but it wasn't about me. It was about you. I told her what was going on, and of course she wants to tell Lily as soon as possible. I told her she couldn't, and so she's going to give you a week to tell Lily yourself. You know if Lily doesn't find out from you it's going to cause big problems," explained Sirius. James ignored him and kept reading.
"James, you can't ignore the issue forever. It's not gonna just go away, so you have to deal with it," said Sirius.
"Can't you see that I'm reading??" yelled James.
"CAN'T YOU TELL THAT I AM TRYING TO TALK TO YOU?" Sirius yelled back, tearing the book out of James' grasp. "Listen to what I'm telling you, tell Lily what you're feeling now or you guys will probably not even be friends in the future."
"I don't have any feelings," said James, grabbing for his book. Sirius snatched it from his reach and pointed his wand at it. "Aparece!" Sirius was then able to properly see the book, which was titled When a Spouse Loses a Loved One-How to Help Them Cope.
"You don't have feelings? Then what's this? I know you care about her James, and I know how much she loves you," said Sirius, a little more gently.
"She doesn't love me," James stated blankly.
"Yes she does. Go talk to her, she'll understand."
"We've fallen way too far apart. We've moved on, we're going in different directions."
"No, you're not. You're going in the same direction, you are just too blind to realize that every step you've taken from the moment you were born was a step towards finding her."
"Fine, fine, I'll talk to her. But when this backfires I'm gonna blame you."
***
"Hey Lily, did you see the announcment?" asked Jamie as she and Lauren plopped down on the sofa in the common room across from her.
"No, what announcement?" she asked.
"They're having a winter dance-" started Lauren.
"And so we were thinking-" Jamie went on.
"That you-" said Lauren.
"Should go with-" continued Jamie.
"James Potter," they both said in unison. Lily just gave them a look and rolled her eyes.
"I thought we determined that James doesn't like me and I'm better off without him," she said.
"Well we thought that, but now that we are older-" started Jamie.
"And wiser-" Lauren interrupted.
"Yes, now that we are older and wiser, we realize that James really does still love you," said Jamie.
"Oh get over it. It's not going to work out between James and I, you guys need to get that through your head. I can't tell him how I feel because his feelings aren't the same for me," said Lily.
"How do you figure that his feelings aren't the same for you?" asked Lauren.
"Well, I know James, and he told me that this was over. He doesn't want it, you should just get over it. I mean, I have," said Lily. Jamie rolled her eyes.
"Lily, you know he thinks that you guys breaking up was all his fault-" started Jamie. Lily cut her off.
"Well it was," she stated.
"Okay, well it was his fault and he just doesn't want to hurt you again He's a guy, he's stupid. He made a mistake and now he can't deal with the guilt. Just let him know that it's going to be okay," explained Jamie.
"It's not all going to be okay," said Lily.
"Yes, it is, because you guys have true love and if you have love then everything will be right," said Lauren.
"Fine, I'll go talk to him, but when this backfires on me it's all gonna be your fault."
***
"James, I need to talk to you," said Lily as they exited transfiguration.
"Okay, let's talk," he said, continuing to walk toward the great hall for dinner.
"Um, in private," she said.
"Oh, right. Yeah I need to talk to you in private too. Where do you want to go?" he asked. Lily thought for a second.
"I have no idea," she said. James eyed the broom cabinet.
"I think I have a place for us to go," said James, opening up the cabinet and taking out his broomstick. "Hop on," he said, and he whisked her out an open window to the roof of the castle.
"Wow, it's so beautiful. You can see everything from here," she said, smiling at James.
"Yeah I know. I like to come up here when I just need a place to think. I thought you would like it," said James.
"Yeah, it's just a little chilly is all," Lily replied, shivering. James put an arm around her. "Thanks."
"So what is it that you want to talk to me about?" he asked.
"Okay, well this is a hard thing to ask because, well it's just awkward, kinda," said Lily.
"Lils, you're not gonna get anywhere by trying to stall. Just tell me what you want to say," James gave her a reasuring smile.
"Well they're having that Valentine's ball and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go with me," she looked at him, and he smiled.
"Why would you want to go to a ball with me?" he asked.
"Well the truth is, I still love you James. I will always love you, because without you I just don't feel like I want to be alive anymore. And I know that you made mistakes but I also know that you feel sorry about it so I forgive you. I just want to make us work again," said Lily, really quickly. James tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped and kissed her. She was still closing her eyes for a few seconds after they parted.
"Lily, I love you too," he said, going in to kiss her again. "I want you to be my girlfriend."
"Oh James, I would love to be your girlfriend," she said, smiling more than she had in weeks.
"But Lily, there's something I want you to know. I've made a lot of mistakes lately, more than you know, and I need to take awhile to fix them."
"That's totally understandable."
"No, these are really big mistakes. So I want you to promise me that you're not going to get mad at me for them, because I made them in the past and the past is the past."
"I promise," then Lily kissed him again, and she ceased to think at all.
***
"Snakeskin," Peter whispered as he neared the door to the slytherin common room. He walked in the door to greet his new friends: Snape, Lucious Malfoy and Frederick. When he had first started coming in here the slytherin's had stopped to stare, but now that he came here so often no one even looked up from their books
"Hey everyone," he stated as he sat down on an armchair.
"Hello Peter. We were just talking about people who deserve to be cursed," said Frederick.
"Oh, and who would those people be?" asked Peter.
"So far on our list we have Potter and Evans," said Snape.
"Hey, we shouldn't hurt Potter. He's one of my...I mean he could be of use to us," said Peter quickly. A girl's voice sounded from behind him.
"Yeah, not Potter. I kind of like him," the girl said. Peter turned around to see Nancy's smiling face. "That's my chair by the way."
"Nancy? What are you doing here?" asked Peter.
"What's wrong with me being here?" she asked in a sugary-sweet voice.
"Nothing I mean, well it's just surprising," explained Peter.
"Speak for yourself, you're a gryffindor too," she said.
"Well I never expected you, of all people..." Peter trailed off.
"I'm not working for the death eaters. I'm just getting to be great friends with Frederick," she explained.
"Oh. Well..." he seemed to be at a loss for words.
"I understand, and trust me I'm not going to tell James," she said. Then she seemed to realize something. "Oh my God, I told James that I would talk to him right after dinner, and here I am. I've got to go guys," she said, running out the door.
***
"I have great news," said Lily bursting into the common room. "I was going to tell all of you earlier but I decided I would just tell you at once, so I had to go and capture Jeanine."
"Hey," said Jeanine, sitting down opposite Lily.
"Okay, so now that you can tell us this great news, why don't you start?" asked Jamie.
"Sure. So I told James I needed to talk to him right after transfiguration, and he asked me out. So we're officially a couple again," said Lily, a giddy smile on her face.
"Oh great, so he told you then, right?" asked Lauren.
"He told me that he loved me..." Lily trailed off, suddenly not feeling so happy. There was something in Lauren's voice, a relieved sound, as if they had gotten through something horrible.
"Oh my God, you mean he hasn't told you?" asked Jeanine, sounding horrified.
"I guess not, but you guys can tell me whatever it is because now I really want to know," said Lily. Jamie, Lauren and Jeanine looked at each other, and then Jamie started talking.
"Well James was really depressed after you and him broke up so he, well, he started dating Nancy secretly a few days before christmas break," she explained.
"He...he what?" asked Lily, tears coming into her eyes.
"It was just a rebound thing. I mean, he gets two weeks to mourn for every three months or so, so this was really just a rebound relationship. It was you he wanted, not her," said Jamie.
"And you guys knew about this and didn't tell me?" Lily asked.
"Well, James told me early on and made me promise not to tell you. And I didn't want to betray his trust or anything so I didn't say anything," said Jeanine.
"What about you?" Lily looked over at Lauren.
"I found out yesterday. You know that note that I read? Well it was really about James, not Sirius. I confronted him about it, and he had no idea what was going on. So I showed him the letter, and he said that wasn't at all about him. He got really confused too, because he had no idea what was going on, so he went and talked to Remus about it. Nancy had let slip to him, and so he was talking to Jeanine about it," explained Lauren.
"Well why didn't you tell me about it right then?" asked Lily.
"I wanted to, but then James confessed to me that he still loved you, and I didn't want to ruin it. So I gave him a week to talk to you himself or I would tell you," said Lauren.
"What about you Jamie, you knew too?" asked Lily.
"Lauren just told me a few minutes ago," she said. Lily was fuming, she was about to go find James and give him a piece of her mind when Nancy burst through the common room.
"Well I hope you're happy for ruining my life bitch," yelled Nancy, who then walked out the door. James came over and sat next to Lily.
"I'm so sorry," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I bet you'd like to know what that was about."
"Oh I know," Lily said, a definate edge to her voice.
"You told her?" James asked in disbelief.
"We thought she knew," said Jamie.
"Listen Lily, I broke everything off. I told her that I had always loved you and always would. I'm sorry, please forgive me," said James. Lily was just about to tell him that she couldn't, that this was just too big of a deal, and then she realized she had two options. She could get mad and ruin the relationship before it even started, or she could forgive this one incident that didn't even really occur when they were dating and really get to start over. She knew what decision she would have to make.
"I forgive you James. I love you, and I forgive you."
***
"Back so soon?" asked Frederick as Nancy burst through the door.
"That asshole broke up with me because of Lily. I swear she ruins everything!" Nancy exclaimed, looking for a seat. There was none open, so she just sat on Frederick's lap.
"It's okay Nancy, it's okay," replied Frederick, giving her a hug.
"No, it's not. He broke up with me," Nancy's voice was craking and her eyes were welling up with tears.
"You'll be fine Nancy, you'e better off without him," said Snape.
"No, I won't be fine. I want to hurt him. I want make him hurt the way he made me hurt. I want to make him sorry he ever messed with me," Nancy sobbed. Frederick smiled.
"So you want to hurt Potter now? Well that can be arranged."
A/N- I don't know where half of this stuff came from, but I'm liking it. The next chapter will be about the Valentine's Ball, and it will be up pretty soon. Until then, please review!
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter. All I have is this computer and (thanks to spring break) an obsessively clean room. You don't want that, so please don't sue me.
Chapter 45- Misconceptions
"James, you really need to talk to Lily," said Sirius as he walked into his dorm room. James had his nose in the black book he had been reading so often lately. Sirius was dying to know what it was, but James wouldn't tell him.
"Not now Sirius, I'm reading," replied James. Sirius pretended he didn't hear James.
"Lauren read this letter that Remus and Jeanine were writting to each other. She infered from it that I was cheating on her, but it wasn't about me. It was about you. I told her what was going on, and of course she wants to tell Lily as soon as possible. I told her she couldn't, and so she's going to give you a week to tell Lily yourself. You know if Lily doesn't find out from you it's going to cause big problems," explained Sirius. James ignored him and kept reading.
"James, you can't ignore the issue forever. It's not gonna just go away, so you have to deal with it," said Sirius.
"Can't you see that I'm reading??" yelled James.
"CAN'T YOU TELL THAT I AM TRYING TO TALK TO YOU?" Sirius yelled back, tearing the book out of James' grasp. "Listen to what I'm telling you, tell Lily what you're feeling now or you guys will probably not even be friends in the future."
"I don't have any feelings," said James, grabbing for his book. Sirius snatched it from his reach and pointed his wand at it. "Aparece!" Sirius was then able to properly see the book, which was titled When a Spouse Loses a Loved One-How to Help Them Cope.
"You don't have feelings? Then what's this? I know you care about her James, and I know how much she loves you," said Sirius, a little more gently.
"She doesn't love me," James stated blankly.
"Yes she does. Go talk to her, she'll understand."
"We've fallen way too far apart. We've moved on, we're going in different directions."
"No, you're not. You're going in the same direction, you are just too blind to realize that every step you've taken from the moment you were born was a step towards finding her."
"Fine, fine, I'll talk to her. But when this backfires I'm gonna blame you."
***
"Hey Lily, did you see the announcment?" asked Jamie as she and Lauren plopped down on the sofa in the common room across from her.
"No, what announcement?" she asked.
"They're having a winter dance-" started Lauren.
"And so we were thinking-" Jamie went on.
"That you-" said Lauren.
"Should go with-" continued Jamie.
"James Potter," they both said in unison. Lily just gave them a look and rolled her eyes.
"I thought we determined that James doesn't like me and I'm better off without him," she said.
"Well we thought that, but now that we are older-" started Jamie.
"And wiser-" Lauren interrupted.
"Yes, now that we are older and wiser, we realize that James really does still love you," said Jamie.
"Oh get over it. It's not going to work out between James and I, you guys need to get that through your head. I can't tell him how I feel because his feelings aren't the same for me," said Lily.
"How do you figure that his feelings aren't the same for you?" asked Lauren.
"Well, I know James, and he told me that this was over. He doesn't want it, you should just get over it. I mean, I have," said Lily. Jamie rolled her eyes.
"Lily, you know he thinks that you guys breaking up was all his fault-" started Jamie. Lily cut her off.
"Well it was," she stated.
"Okay, well it was his fault and he just doesn't want to hurt you again He's a guy, he's stupid. He made a mistake and now he can't deal with the guilt. Just let him know that it's going to be okay," explained Jamie.
"It's not all going to be okay," said Lily.
"Yes, it is, because you guys have true love and if you have love then everything will be right," said Lauren.
"Fine, I'll go talk to him, but when this backfires on me it's all gonna be your fault."
***
"James, I need to talk to you," said Lily as they exited transfiguration.
"Okay, let's talk," he said, continuing to walk toward the great hall for dinner.
"Um, in private," she said.
"Oh, right. Yeah I need to talk to you in private too. Where do you want to go?" he asked. Lily thought for a second.
"I have no idea," she said. James eyed the broom cabinet.
"I think I have a place for us to go," said James, opening up the cabinet and taking out his broomstick. "Hop on," he said, and he whisked her out an open window to the roof of the castle.
"Wow, it's so beautiful. You can see everything from here," she said, smiling at James.
"Yeah I know. I like to come up here when I just need a place to think. I thought you would like it," said James.
"Yeah, it's just a little chilly is all," Lily replied, shivering. James put an arm around her. "Thanks."
"So what is it that you want to talk to me about?" he asked.
"Okay, well this is a hard thing to ask because, well it's just awkward, kinda," said Lily.
"Lils, you're not gonna get anywhere by trying to stall. Just tell me what you want to say," James gave her a reasuring smile.
"Well they're having that Valentine's ball and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go with me," she looked at him, and he smiled.
"Why would you want to go to a ball with me?" he asked.
"Well the truth is, I still love you James. I will always love you, because without you I just don't feel like I want to be alive anymore. And I know that you made mistakes but I also know that you feel sorry about it so I forgive you. I just want to make us work again," said Lily, really quickly. James tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped and kissed her. She was still closing her eyes for a few seconds after they parted.
"Lily, I love you too," he said, going in to kiss her again. "I want you to be my girlfriend."
"Oh James, I would love to be your girlfriend," she said, smiling more than she had in weeks.
"But Lily, there's something I want you to know. I've made a lot of mistakes lately, more than you know, and I need to take awhile to fix them."
"That's totally understandable."
"No, these are really big mistakes. So I want you to promise me that you're not going to get mad at me for them, because I made them in the past and the past is the past."
"I promise," then Lily kissed him again, and she ceased to think at all.
***
"Snakeskin," Peter whispered as he neared the door to the slytherin common room. He walked in the door to greet his new friends: Snape, Lucious Malfoy and Frederick. When he had first started coming in here the slytherin's had stopped to stare, but now that he came here so often no one even looked up from their books
"Hey everyone," he stated as he sat down on an armchair.
"Hello Peter. We were just talking about people who deserve to be cursed," said Frederick.
"Oh, and who would those people be?" asked Peter.
"So far on our list we have Potter and Evans," said Snape.
"Hey, we shouldn't hurt Potter. He's one of my...I mean he could be of use to us," said Peter quickly. A girl's voice sounded from behind him.
"Yeah, not Potter. I kind of like him," the girl said. Peter turned around to see Nancy's smiling face. "That's my chair by the way."
"Nancy? What are you doing here?" asked Peter.
"What's wrong with me being here?" she asked in a sugary-sweet voice.
"Nothing I mean, well it's just surprising," explained Peter.
"Speak for yourself, you're a gryffindor too," she said.
"Well I never expected you, of all people..." Peter trailed off.
"I'm not working for the death eaters. I'm just getting to be great friends with Frederick," she explained.
"Oh. Well..." he seemed to be at a loss for words.
"I understand, and trust me I'm not going to tell James," she said. Then she seemed to realize something. "Oh my God, I told James that I would talk to him right after dinner, and here I am. I've got to go guys," she said, running out the door.
***
"I have great news," said Lily bursting into the common room. "I was going to tell all of you earlier but I decided I would just tell you at once, so I had to go and capture Jeanine."
"Hey," said Jeanine, sitting down opposite Lily.
"Okay, so now that you can tell us this great news, why don't you start?" asked Jamie.
"Sure. So I told James I needed to talk to him right after transfiguration, and he asked me out. So we're officially a couple again," said Lily, a giddy smile on her face.
"Oh great, so he told you then, right?" asked Lauren.
"He told me that he loved me..." Lily trailed off, suddenly not feeling so happy. There was something in Lauren's voice, a relieved sound, as if they had gotten through something horrible.
"Oh my God, you mean he hasn't told you?" asked Jeanine, sounding horrified.
"I guess not, but you guys can tell me whatever it is because now I really want to know," said Lily. Jamie, Lauren and Jeanine looked at each other, and then Jamie started talking.
"Well James was really depressed after you and him broke up so he, well, he started dating Nancy secretly a few days before christmas break," she explained.
"He...he what?" asked Lily, tears coming into her eyes.
"It was just a rebound thing. I mean, he gets two weeks to mourn for every three months or so, so this was really just a rebound relationship. It was you he wanted, not her," said Jamie.
"And you guys knew about this and didn't tell me?" Lily asked.
"Well, James told me early on and made me promise not to tell you. And I didn't want to betray his trust or anything so I didn't say anything," said Jeanine.
"What about you?" Lily looked over at Lauren.
"I found out yesterday. You know that note that I read? Well it was really about James, not Sirius. I confronted him about it, and he had no idea what was going on. So I showed him the letter, and he said that wasn't at all about him. He got really confused too, because he had no idea what was going on, so he went and talked to Remus about it. Nancy had let slip to him, and so he was talking to Jeanine about it," explained Lauren.
"Well why didn't you tell me about it right then?" asked Lily.
"I wanted to, but then James confessed to me that he still loved you, and I didn't want to ruin it. So I gave him a week to talk to you himself or I would tell you," said Lauren.
"What about you Jamie, you knew too?" asked Lily.
"Lauren just told me a few minutes ago," she said. Lily was fuming, she was about to go find James and give him a piece of her mind when Nancy burst through the common room.
"Well I hope you're happy for ruining my life bitch," yelled Nancy, who then walked out the door. James came over and sat next to Lily.
"I'm so sorry," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I bet you'd like to know what that was about."
"Oh I know," Lily said, a definate edge to her voice.
"You told her?" James asked in disbelief.
"We thought she knew," said Jamie.
"Listen Lily, I broke everything off. I told her that I had always loved you and always would. I'm sorry, please forgive me," said James. Lily was just about to tell him that she couldn't, that this was just too big of a deal, and then she realized she had two options. She could get mad and ruin the relationship before it even started, or she could forgive this one incident that didn't even really occur when they were dating and really get to start over. She knew what decision she would have to make.
"I forgive you James. I love you, and I forgive you."
***
"Back so soon?" asked Frederick as Nancy burst through the door.
"That asshole broke up with me because of Lily. I swear she ruins everything!" Nancy exclaimed, looking for a seat. There was none open, so she just sat on Frederick's lap.
"It's okay Nancy, it's okay," replied Frederick, giving her a hug.
"No, it's not. He broke up with me," Nancy's voice was craking and her eyes were welling up with tears.
"You'll be fine Nancy, you'e better off without him," said Snape.
"No, I won't be fine. I want to hurt him. I want make him hurt the way he made me hurt. I want to make him sorry he ever messed with me," Nancy sobbed. Frederick smiled.
"So you want to hurt Potter now? Well that can be arranged."
A/N- I don't know where half of this stuff came from, but I'm liking it. The next chapter will be about the Valentine's Ball, and it will be up pretty soon. Until then, please review!
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter. All I have is this computer and (thanks to spring break) an obsessively clean room. You don't want that, so please don't sue me.