~*~GREEN EYES~*~
Chapter 47- Flashbacks
Hey Lily,
Just writing this to say hi, we didn't talk too much today. I guess that's because I was sitting with Sara and everyone, I'm sorry about that. So, out first Hogsmeade trip is going to be in a week, I am so excited. I can't believe that we're third years! It's really amazing how much time flies, it seems like just yesterday we were first years, look how much we've grown up. We've become so much more mature. Well I am going to go, I have to go tell my boyfriend how much of a butt head he is.
Love,
Jamie
Lily put down the book that she and Jamie had used since their first year to pass notes back and forth to each other and cried. She didn't understand how this had happened, it had been a week and there was still no sign of her best friend. Ministry witches and wizards had been searching the castle since it happened, looking for some sort of clue, but they hadn't been able to find anything. Everyone kept telling her that Jamie was most likely dead.
It made sense that Jamie was not alive. There had been no ransom notes, and Lily imagined Jamie chained in a cold room. In Lily's mind her best friend had probably been raped and beaten to death. It was too much to bear.
Lily would think about a friend who already seemed lost to her and almost lose hope, but there was something in her that told her that Jamie was still alive. It went against all her rationale, against every logical argument her brain came up with. It was just a feeling, a feeling that Jamie was okay, that she was not only alive but well also. Lily couldn't ignore that feeling.
"Lily, do you mind if I come in?" asked Sires, knocking on her door frame.
"Go ahead, I don't care," she said softly. Sirius sat down next to her on her bed and gave her a sympathetic smile.
"I'm really worried about you Lily. We all are," he said. Lily nodded.
"I know. This is just hard," she replied. "I mean, first my parents and now my best friend. It's like there is someone out there that just wants me to be hurt and I don't know who it is or why. I want to know why, I want so badly to know why," her voice cracked and she fell to the wave of tears again.
"Why? Because you're smart and caring and popular and beautiful and talented and you're going out with the best guy in the school, well aside from me. At least that's why people are jealous of you. I don't think anyone has intentionally set out to hurt you," explained Sirius.
"Don't even try to boost my ego Sirius Black. Smart, possibly. Going out with the best guy in the school, definitely. The rest, well that's just a little bit of exaggeration," she said.
"Lily, that wasn't the point. I didn't mean to make you try to feel better about yourself, I tried to give you a reason. I guess I'm just a horrible source of condolence," he said.
"No, you're not. I'm just really emotional right now," said Lily. Sirius nodded.
"At least you're taking out all your pain with tears. Some of us can't be as open with what we are feeling, and that is hard," said Sirius, his mind going back to his fourth birthday...
His mother had spent the better part of an hour trying to get herself ready for some sort of ball she was planning on going to. Sirius couldn't go, he was too young and therefore had to stay with the neighbors. There was a small pile of presents, mostly from his grandparents and preschool friends, laying on the living room coffee table. He had yet to open them.
"Mommy, when can I have my birthday?" he asked as Mrs. Black put on some perfume in front of her mirror. She tried to brush him away.
"Can you just leave me alone, Sirius honey. I need to get ready to go out with daddy," she said, picking up powders and lipsticks. "You can have your birthday cake and presents right before we leave, but now I need to get ready."
"Olivia, hurry up! We're going to be late!" screamed Mr. Black from downstairs. Mrs. Black hurriedly finished applying her lipstick and began to walk down to her husband.
"I'm sorry Brain, I'm ready now," she said as she walked down the stairs. Sirius followed her, chewing on his teddy bear, Snuffles
"Of course you're ready now. You've spent forever trying to be ready. Why do you always have to be some damn slow all the time?" he asked.
"Excuse me, I was just trying to look nice for the ball. I mean, you were the one that wanted me to come, you should just deal with it," she said. Mr. Black shook his head.
"Deal with it? You want me to just deal with it? That's what you always say. You go out and buy a new pair or shoes and tell me to deal with it. You spend all of my money and tell me to deal with it. I'm tired of dealing with it," he said.
"I do not spend all of our money on shoes," said Mrs. Black defiantly. Mr. Black took out his wand.
"Oh yeah, then let's look at the bank book, shall we? Look at this, the last thing you bought cost over 20,000 galleons!" exclaimed Mr. Black.
"20,000 galleons? That was for the taxes. I had to pay the taxes. You would have known that if you ever helped me out in the house," explained Mrs. Black.
"I help you out enough. I make the money. It's not like you really do anything in the house anyway!" yelled Mr. Black, throwing the bank book across the room.
"I do things in the house, I do so much more than you know. I have to raise a four year old," said Mrs. Black. Sirius tugged at the bottom of his mother's dress robes.
"Mommy, when can I have my presents? It's supposed to be my birthday," he asked. Mrs. Black shoved him away.
"Not now honey, I'm talking to your daddy," she said softly.
"Oh yes, you do so much in the house. If I were doing your job that little brat would be kept in check," Mr. Black sneered at his young son.
"You keep him out of this," snapped Mrs. Black, hugging Sirius protectively.
"I'll put that son of a bitch into the conversation if I want to," said Mr. Black.
"Mommy, presents!" exclaimed Sirius, not knowing what his father had said about his. Mr. Black pulled his son away and slapped him across his face. Mrs. Black didn't say anything. She just grabbed Sirius, picked up his presents and walked out the door.
"Sirius, Sirius, come back down the earth," said Lily. Sirius looked over to her. "You were kind of staring off into space there."
"I know, I was just...thinking," said Sirius. Lily gave him a sympathetic look.
"You need a hug don't you?" she asked.
"Yeah, uh-huh."
***
"Remus, you've been in bed for a week," said James, handing his friend a bite of lunch.
"What's the point of getting up when you've got no reason to live?" asked Remus in a monotone.
"Yes you do," said James.
"Oh what reason? Could it be that I'm a werewolf and can't be treated like a normal person? Is it because my girlfriend has been captured by an evil dark wizard who has most likely tortured and killed her? Is it because I want to grab that knife on the ledge and kill myself right about now? Because you know, all of those things just make me want to jump for joy!" exclaimed Remus sarcastically.
"Oookay then. I'll just let you eat this in peace," said James, stepping out of the room.
A part of Remus just wanted to get James to come back and spill all the things that were on his mind, but instead he decided to sit in his bed and try to do something. What could he do? He absentmindedly picked up his journal and flipped through until he found a random page.
Dear Journal,
You know when you're in love, and no matter how hard life seems and how unsure you are of your ability to go on you know that somehow you can make it through anything? If you had told me I would be able to experience something like this a few months ago I wouldn't have believed you. I would have laughed in your face and said "Yeah, right, like that is ever going to happen."
But now....I can't even describe this feeling. It's like I'm floating on a cloud where only Jamie and I can be, and nothing else matters in the world. Today I just sat Jamie for hours watching her sleep, listening to her breathe. And I was happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I am in love. I am in love with an angel named Jamie.
Remus closed the journal and sat down. He remembered that day, sitting in the common room after a long day at Hogsmeade....
Jamie collapsed on the chair closest to the fire, and Remus sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her.
"I cannot believe you did that," she said, moving in closer toward him.
"What, turning Snape into a bullfrog and walking around asking girls to give him a kiss?" asked Remus innocently.
"Yes, of course. What else would I be talking about?" asked Jamie.
"I couldn't believe the look on Nancy's face when she kissed him and it turned out to be Snape," Remus laughed.
"I wish I could have a picture of that moment to keep somewhere close to my heart forever," said Jamie. Both her and Remus sighed in unison, and then started laughing about it.
"Gosh, I am so tired," said Jamie with a yawn.
"Do you want to go to bed?" asked Remus.
"No *yawn* I'll just stay....right....here," she said, falling asleep on his shoulder. Remus just looked at her, how a piece of her hair moved ever so slightly as she breathed. He was content with just watching her, she looked so beautiful.
"I love you," he whispered in her ear. He half hoped that she was awake enough to hear him, and half wanted her to keep on sleeping without knowing. She moved a bit and her eyes opened.
"I love you too," she said, and both of them drifted into dreams
A single tear rolled down Remus' check. She was really gone, and there was nothing he could do to get her back. He couldn't help feeling that a part of him had died, and he felt that he would never truly be whole again.
A/N- Sorry, I just couldn't help being Faulkner-esque (you know without being in the mind of an idiot man child and everything.) It was just something different, and I couldn't help myself. Tell me what you thought, if you liked it or if it was confusing and what not. Next chapter will be up soon, until then please review.
Disclaimer- J.K. Rowling is the supreme ruler of all.
Chapter 47- Flashbacks
Hey Lily,
Just writing this to say hi, we didn't talk too much today. I guess that's because I was sitting with Sara and everyone, I'm sorry about that. So, out first Hogsmeade trip is going to be in a week, I am so excited. I can't believe that we're third years! It's really amazing how much time flies, it seems like just yesterday we were first years, look how much we've grown up. We've become so much more mature. Well I am going to go, I have to go tell my boyfriend how much of a butt head he is.
Love,
Jamie
Lily put down the book that she and Jamie had used since their first year to pass notes back and forth to each other and cried. She didn't understand how this had happened, it had been a week and there was still no sign of her best friend. Ministry witches and wizards had been searching the castle since it happened, looking for some sort of clue, but they hadn't been able to find anything. Everyone kept telling her that Jamie was most likely dead.
It made sense that Jamie was not alive. There had been no ransom notes, and Lily imagined Jamie chained in a cold room. In Lily's mind her best friend had probably been raped and beaten to death. It was too much to bear.
Lily would think about a friend who already seemed lost to her and almost lose hope, but there was something in her that told her that Jamie was still alive. It went against all her rationale, against every logical argument her brain came up with. It was just a feeling, a feeling that Jamie was okay, that she was not only alive but well also. Lily couldn't ignore that feeling.
"Lily, do you mind if I come in?" asked Sires, knocking on her door frame.
"Go ahead, I don't care," she said softly. Sirius sat down next to her on her bed and gave her a sympathetic smile.
"I'm really worried about you Lily. We all are," he said. Lily nodded.
"I know. This is just hard," she replied. "I mean, first my parents and now my best friend. It's like there is someone out there that just wants me to be hurt and I don't know who it is or why. I want to know why, I want so badly to know why," her voice cracked and she fell to the wave of tears again.
"Why? Because you're smart and caring and popular and beautiful and talented and you're going out with the best guy in the school, well aside from me. At least that's why people are jealous of you. I don't think anyone has intentionally set out to hurt you," explained Sirius.
"Don't even try to boost my ego Sirius Black. Smart, possibly. Going out with the best guy in the school, definitely. The rest, well that's just a little bit of exaggeration," she said.
"Lily, that wasn't the point. I didn't mean to make you try to feel better about yourself, I tried to give you a reason. I guess I'm just a horrible source of condolence," he said.
"No, you're not. I'm just really emotional right now," said Lily. Sirius nodded.
"At least you're taking out all your pain with tears. Some of us can't be as open with what we are feeling, and that is hard," said Sirius, his mind going back to his fourth birthday...
His mother had spent the better part of an hour trying to get herself ready for some sort of ball she was planning on going to. Sirius couldn't go, he was too young and therefore had to stay with the neighbors. There was a small pile of presents, mostly from his grandparents and preschool friends, laying on the living room coffee table. He had yet to open them.
"Mommy, when can I have my birthday?" he asked as Mrs. Black put on some perfume in front of her mirror. She tried to brush him away.
"Can you just leave me alone, Sirius honey. I need to get ready to go out with daddy," she said, picking up powders and lipsticks. "You can have your birthday cake and presents right before we leave, but now I need to get ready."
"Olivia, hurry up! We're going to be late!" screamed Mr. Black from downstairs. Mrs. Black hurriedly finished applying her lipstick and began to walk down to her husband.
"I'm sorry Brain, I'm ready now," she said as she walked down the stairs. Sirius followed her, chewing on his teddy bear, Snuffles
"Of course you're ready now. You've spent forever trying to be ready. Why do you always have to be some damn slow all the time?" he asked.
"Excuse me, I was just trying to look nice for the ball. I mean, you were the one that wanted me to come, you should just deal with it," she said. Mr. Black shook his head.
"Deal with it? You want me to just deal with it? That's what you always say. You go out and buy a new pair or shoes and tell me to deal with it. You spend all of my money and tell me to deal with it. I'm tired of dealing with it," he said.
"I do not spend all of our money on shoes," said Mrs. Black defiantly. Mr. Black took out his wand.
"Oh yeah, then let's look at the bank book, shall we? Look at this, the last thing you bought cost over 20,000 galleons!" exclaimed Mr. Black.
"20,000 galleons? That was for the taxes. I had to pay the taxes. You would have known that if you ever helped me out in the house," explained Mrs. Black.
"I help you out enough. I make the money. It's not like you really do anything in the house anyway!" yelled Mr. Black, throwing the bank book across the room.
"I do things in the house, I do so much more than you know. I have to raise a four year old," said Mrs. Black. Sirius tugged at the bottom of his mother's dress robes.
"Mommy, when can I have my presents? It's supposed to be my birthday," he asked. Mrs. Black shoved him away.
"Not now honey, I'm talking to your daddy," she said softly.
"Oh yes, you do so much in the house. If I were doing your job that little brat would be kept in check," Mr. Black sneered at his young son.
"You keep him out of this," snapped Mrs. Black, hugging Sirius protectively.
"I'll put that son of a bitch into the conversation if I want to," said Mr. Black.
"Mommy, presents!" exclaimed Sirius, not knowing what his father had said about his. Mr. Black pulled his son away and slapped him across his face. Mrs. Black didn't say anything. She just grabbed Sirius, picked up his presents and walked out the door.
"Sirius, Sirius, come back down the earth," said Lily. Sirius looked over to her. "You were kind of staring off into space there."
"I know, I was just...thinking," said Sirius. Lily gave him a sympathetic look.
"You need a hug don't you?" she asked.
"Yeah, uh-huh."
***
"Remus, you've been in bed for a week," said James, handing his friend a bite of lunch.
"What's the point of getting up when you've got no reason to live?" asked Remus in a monotone.
"Yes you do," said James.
"Oh what reason? Could it be that I'm a werewolf and can't be treated like a normal person? Is it because my girlfriend has been captured by an evil dark wizard who has most likely tortured and killed her? Is it because I want to grab that knife on the ledge and kill myself right about now? Because you know, all of those things just make me want to jump for joy!" exclaimed Remus sarcastically.
"Oookay then. I'll just let you eat this in peace," said James, stepping out of the room.
A part of Remus just wanted to get James to come back and spill all the things that were on his mind, but instead he decided to sit in his bed and try to do something. What could he do? He absentmindedly picked up his journal and flipped through until he found a random page.
Dear Journal,
You know when you're in love, and no matter how hard life seems and how unsure you are of your ability to go on you know that somehow you can make it through anything? If you had told me I would be able to experience something like this a few months ago I wouldn't have believed you. I would have laughed in your face and said "Yeah, right, like that is ever going to happen."
But now....I can't even describe this feeling. It's like I'm floating on a cloud where only Jamie and I can be, and nothing else matters in the world. Today I just sat Jamie for hours watching her sleep, listening to her breathe. And I was happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I am in love. I am in love with an angel named Jamie.
Remus closed the journal and sat down. He remembered that day, sitting in the common room after a long day at Hogsmeade....
Jamie collapsed on the chair closest to the fire, and Remus sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her.
"I cannot believe you did that," she said, moving in closer toward him.
"What, turning Snape into a bullfrog and walking around asking girls to give him a kiss?" asked Remus innocently.
"Yes, of course. What else would I be talking about?" asked Jamie.
"I couldn't believe the look on Nancy's face when she kissed him and it turned out to be Snape," Remus laughed.
"I wish I could have a picture of that moment to keep somewhere close to my heart forever," said Jamie. Both her and Remus sighed in unison, and then started laughing about it.
"Gosh, I am so tired," said Jamie with a yawn.
"Do you want to go to bed?" asked Remus.
"No *yawn* I'll just stay....right....here," she said, falling asleep on his shoulder. Remus just looked at her, how a piece of her hair moved ever so slightly as she breathed. He was content with just watching her, she looked so beautiful.
"I love you," he whispered in her ear. He half hoped that she was awake enough to hear him, and half wanted her to keep on sleeping without knowing. She moved a bit and her eyes opened.
"I love you too," she said, and both of them drifted into dreams
A single tear rolled down Remus' check. She was really gone, and there was nothing he could do to get her back. He couldn't help feeling that a part of him had died, and he felt that he would never truly be whole again.
A/N- Sorry, I just couldn't help being Faulkner-esque (you know without being in the mind of an idiot man child and everything.) It was just something different, and I couldn't help myself. Tell me what you thought, if you liked it or if it was confusing and what not. Next chapter will be up soon, until then please review.
Disclaimer- J.K. Rowling is the supreme ruler of all.