The two groups formed into huddles.
"We've got a bunch of villains," began Philoctetes the satyr. "And they probably know their own enemies' own moves by now."
"Hero Rule Number 620," Hercules recited. "Take new approaches."
"So you're saying to fight someone you've never fought before?" hissed Aladdin.
"Right," replied Phil.
Darkwing took Quiverwing aside. "Young lady, I don't want to see you up against anyone more than ten years your senior!"
Quiverwing made sure nobody was in earshot. "Dad!"
"I mean. I was eighteen when I started. Megavolt was only a year apart from me. I remember because he skipped seventh grade in middle school. That aside, are you wearing your bulletproof vest?"
"DAD!" This one was sharper, though not much louder.
"Nobody lays a hand or claw on Angela," hissed Demona to her teammates.
"If anyone hurts my kids," Pete began. "I'll hurt you!"
"I don't want Aladdin dead!" whined Sadira.
"Fine," whispered Selene. "Whoever gets Aladdin injure him enough to put him out. That way, Sad can nurse him back to health."
McWhirtley pushed a large gurney forwarded.
Flintheart pointed to the stretcher. "Chameleon, Toadwart. You'll be our medics. Carry out anyone who gets here. Any questions?"
"No," replied the others.
The members of the two huddles faced each other. Scrooge and Flintheart glared at each other before shouting "Attack!" in unison.
Mozenrath aimed his gauntlet at Zummi and released several fireballs.
Zummi flipped through his notes frantically. "I know I had an ice spell somewhere." He grabbed his vial of Gummiberry juice and swallowed, bouncing out of the path of the fireballs. One bounced off a wall mirror and struck the evil magician.
Mozenrath didn't even have time to yelp in pain. His robes were torn and covered in soot. Shreds of fabric dangled from his right arm, exposing the bones. Both radius and ulna were fractured. The black hair was standing on end. The sorcerer looked almost like a caricature of himself. "Medic!"
Toadie and Chameleon rushed over with the gurney, imitating an ambulance siren.
Magica de Spell pointed her index finger. A small pink blob emanated from the tip. "A little sticky spell will keep you from bouncing away!" The blob began to grow, like a bubble of gum. Zummi whispered something as the bubble expanded. Soon it was the size of a baseball. Then a basketball. Then a beach ball.
A look of worry washed over Magica's face as she shook her finger. "It's stuck!"
"I hate to burst your bubble," joked the Gummi magician. He clapped his hands as he uttered an incantation. "Ummeth, pow nomow!"
There was a deafening explosion. Several characters, both hero and villain, looked around, confused.
Magica was now covered head to toe in what looked like pink slime.
Negaduck approached Daisy. "Why don't you abandon these losers and come with me?"
Daisy snorted. "What happened to Nega-Morgana?"
The yellow-coated duck shrugged. "It was over between us a long time ago." He tried to put his arm around Daisy.
There was a loud squawk. Before Negaduck could grab one of his many concealed weapons, Donald had jumped him. Both ducks started rolling around on the floor, punching and kicking.
Cornelius Fillmore stepped back as the Liquidator was growing into a pillar of water. The safety patrol turned around to see the Lord of the Dead blocking his path.
Hades shooed the Liquidator. "Wet boy, I can handle this. He's only in middle school. Pity to send him down the River Styx so young, but a god's gotta do what a god's gotta do."
Fillmore said nothing, simply jumped toward Hades. He went through as a blast of searing heat covered his skin. There was the sound of angry hissing. He turned around. "Disco." The Liquidator had washed toward him when he went through the God of the Dead. They had almost canceled each out.
Hades got up. Needless to say, his hair had been extinguished when the water-dog crashed into him. To his horror, he wouldn't ignite. "Beaten by a sixth grade mortal. This is worse than the time Jerkules got me with a water pistol."
Monkey Fist looked down at Darkwing Duck. "You have no chance against a master of Tai-shing pequa."
"What?" asked the caped canard.
The British man-monkey's face went red. "Monkey kung fu!"
"You won't make a monkey out of this duck, Fist," Darkwing took his fighting stance. "I happen to be a Quack Fu black belt." They began to spar.
Grammi held out a tray of her home cooking. "Would you care for some fresh old-fashioned Gummi cuisine?"
Burger Beagle grabbed the tray and wolfed down its contests. He suddenly clutched his stomach. "Ooh!"
Grammi crammed another handful into the Beagle Boy's mouth. "There's more where that came from!"
Duke L' Orange drew his saber. "You're going down, Karnage."
Don Karnage drew his own sword. "You dare to challenge moi, the Prince of Panache?"
A green ray flared from Shego's glove as she swung toward Mallory McMallard. "Looks like this is my night to deal with redheads."
Quiverwing Quack took out a glue arrow and deftly aimed it at the Gross sisters. Nubia got out of the way in time, but her two sisters found themselves stuck.
Ingrid felt one of Ursula's tentacles trap around her, tightly. She squirmed, but her arms were pinned to her sides. "Crackers."
The sea witch held out a vial. "You poor, unfortunate soul."
The raven-haired girl kicked her captor in the side, hard. The octopus loosened her grip slightly to retrieve the glass bottle. Ingrid was able to get her arms free, though Ursula constricted the tentacle -- squeezing the girl's waist like a boa constrictor on its prey.
Ingrid caught two of the other tentacles and tied them together. She repeated the process, then wove the remaining three into a braid. The safety patroller managed to wriggle free.
Ursula tried to maintain her balance. "Green-eyed wench."
Meanwhile, Duke and Karnage's swordfight had climaxed on the House of Mouse's catwalk.
Duke used his saber to knock his opponent's weapon away. The sword clattered to the floor below.
Brad, on the ground, retrieved it.
Karnage chuckled nervously. "Now, now, L'Orange. Let us not be the hasty puddings!"
The one-eyed duck smiled. "You'll need this." He tossed his own sword to the wolf.
Karnage dove for it, forgetting he was on a narrow walkway. A nervous smile crossed his face just before the delayed gravity kicked in. The wolf crashed right on top of Flizzard. They had to share a gurney, arguing through the attendants' ambulance siren noises.
Scrooge swung his cane at Signor Senior, Senior. "I have a bone to pick with you, Spaniard. You give elderly billionaires a bad name!"
There was the miniature sonic boom of a gunshot.
Moltoc was holding out his smoking shotgun. "There's more than one way to skin a duck." He aimed at Scrooge. Before he could squeeze the trigger, a shotgun pellet ripped through the barrel of the gun.
Goldie brandished her own shotgun. "You no-good varmint! I'll teach you to point a gun at my boyfriend!" She fired several more shots in quick succession, all missing by mere inches.
Monkey Fist panted. "I guess should have ordered caffeinated tea instead of decaf."
"O-HI-O!" The man monkey felt one of Darkwing's patented web-kicks to his side. Obeying the conservation of momentum, he flew through the air and crashed into the wall.
Darkwing calmly brushed the dust off his costume. "Yep, yep, yep. Another pernicious primate put in its place by yours truly."
Simultaneously, Thundra flew toward Bushroot and whispered in his ear. "I'll give you a chance to get out of here, or I'll cause a drought."
Bushroot looked nervous. "As much as I'd like to get out of here, I can't. And Liquidator can just tap into a water line for me."
"Very well," replied the avian weather-goddess.
There was a sudden blast of wind that struck the mutant plant-duck. He struggled not to get blown away, but even as a full duck, Reginald Bushroot had always been underweight. "All right! You win!"
Lady Bane fired mystic bolts at Angela. The bolts were not powerful enough to seriously injure, but the young gargoyle dodged them nonetheless.
Angela grabbed the train of Lady Bane's dress and lifted her through the air.
The sorceress went pale. "Stop! I'm afraid of heights!" The gown ripped as the female gargoyle was descending. Bane fell to the floor, though not far. Medieval medicine was primitive, but she could tell her ankle was twisted or broken. "Demona, you've created a...Demona?" She scanned the area, searching for her gargoyle teammate.
Demona was in the air, dueling with Kim, who was flying with the aid of a jet-pack.
Lady Bane limped toward the medics while Angela watched the aerial fight.
Wade was seated in the shadows, whispering to Ron. "While everyone was busy, I took the liberty of planting a chip on the bionic bull. What's his name again?"
"Taurus Bulba, I think," replied Ron uneasily.
Wade pointed at the laptop in front of him. "I'm going to see if I can disable his system. You can distract him while I hack."
The color drained from Ron's face. "Why do I always have to be the distraction? What can I do?"
Wade chuckled. "Run, Ron. Run as fast as you can."
Ron groaned and rushed forward. "Hey, constellation! Come and get me!"
Bulba responded by turning his multi-purpose left arm into a laser cannon and firing.
Ron ducked. "Hey! Don't take it out on me!"
Wade typed feverishly. The screen flashed a message. "Cooling system disabled."
Ron dove under a table just as it was blasted into a pile of ashes.
"I joined this congress to get a shot at Darkwing Duck," snarled the cyborg, blasting an overhead klieg light. It wobbled precariously, but did not fall. "And I am not about to let a clumsy teenager ruin that for me!" Suddenly, the prosthetics emitted steam, and the huge bull stood still.
Ron gave a sigh of relief. "I'm still in one piece, and I haven't been blown to Bermuda. I guess I'm not such a goof if I really try." The klieg light's clamp gave away and it crashed to the floor, barely missing Ron's head.
Rufus, Ron's pink naked mole rat, was busy sinking his rather large front teeth into Wart's tail.
"Yeowch!" The lizard screamed, crashing right into Mepps. The tangled twosome rolled into Mole. The threesome had combined into a ball, which rolled right out of the nightclub.
Quiverwing fired one of her bola arrows, which wrapped around Nubia. She reached into her quiver as Brad came toward her with Karnage's sword. "Uh oh." I forgot to refill!
"I'm used to working hard, Miss Quiverwing," began Brad. "And then getting what I want--"
Quiverwing's sidekick came between them. "Leave her alone!" Before he knew what he was doing, the Arrow Kid curled his right hand into a fist and had socked the human in the nose.
Brad dropped the sword in horror. His hands reached up to his nose. Blood dripped between his fingers. "I'm hemophiliac!" He ran off in search of first aid.
"What's that?" asked Quiverwing.
"It's a disorder that reduces the blood's ability to clot," answered the Arrow Kid.
"How'd you know he had it?"
"I didn't."
"That was some punch. You know, I was crazy to think you'd make a good sidekick. We'll be partners--"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Quiverwing Quack and the Arrow Kid, like a hot dog and mustard. Can't you see it in lights? Or ink?"
Donald and Negaduck rolled by. Both were tearing at the other's clothes, kicking, and insulting each other.
Moltoc and Goldie by now had run out of shotgun pellets, but Miss O' Gilt managed to whack the evil adventurer on the head with the butt of her gun. Moltoc crumpled to the floor, alive but unconscious.
"Where's your son?" Scrooge asked his opponent. They were wrestling with their walking sticks.
"He was too lazy and stupid to join the Coalition, so I left him at home," replied Signor Senior Senior.
"Don't refer to your family that way," Scrooge gripped Signor Senior Senior's cane. They held it between them. "Money is almost everything, but IT IS NOT EVERYTHING!" With that, he whipped the cane violently.
His rival couldn't keep his grip, flew through the air, and landed on a table, which broke under the force. The elderly billionaire tried to get up. "My back."
Pete looked disdainfully at Bronx. "Where's your master, you stupid mutt?" The gargoyle growled at him. Pete back away. "Intelligent! I meant intelligent mutt!" He turned to run away.
You've never been bitten until you've been bitten by an intelligent mutt, thought Bronx, leaping forward and sinking his teeth into Pete's rear end.
Monterey Jack panted. "Where's the dog-headed god when you need him?" He was naturally referring to Mirage, whom he was trying to distract.
Zipper took one end of two ropes and flew up, tying them to Mirage's headdress. Chip and Dale were holding the other ends. The chipmunks ran in circles, in opposite directions. The ropes wrapped around the cat goddess as if she were a maypole.
Asteroth morphed into a large red dragon. His original amulet had been destroyed by the Mighty Ducks a while back, but he had been able to acquire a replacement. Fortunately, for our heroes, the new amulet was only half as powerful as the first -- which made it easy for Genie to zap up enough water to extinguish the fire.
Genie morphed into Robin Hood and fired an arrow, which sliced through the amulet's chain. The amulet tumbled to the floor and shattered.
Asteroth shook his head. "They just don't make them like they used to."
Genie morphed into Richard Nixon and did the infamous victory pose.
"Can the bloopers, Big Blue," called Gruffi, who was using Gummiberry juice to bounce up and down on Colonel Spigot.
Ariel and Urchin were occupied with Selene, while Sebastian and Flounder were in the middle of a loud argument with Armand.
Gill's red eyes gleamed as he spat multiple globs of green slime at Neptunia.
Neptunia grabbed his wrist. "We may be in the same boat, but you're just as bad as those lousy humans who are mucking up my ocean, bub." She flipped Gill over her head, who miraculously landed on the empty stretcher.
"Wow. I never knew radioactive runoff could create super-strength," commented Gill.
Demona was now getting impatient. Her eyes glowed red as she raked her claws against the device on Kim's back.
Kim bit back a scream as she began to fall, but she felt herself being caught by Angela.
"My own daughter plotting against me," snorted Demona, withdrawing.
"She's got more angles than a dodecahedron," commented Kim.
"Not a thing you say can stop her," Angela mumbled. "When she just can't stop herself."
Sunni and Cubbi bounced energetically in rings around Croc, who was practically going crazy chasing them. The huge reptile slowed down, panting. "I am waaay too old for this!"
After a stalemate, Mallory finally managed to trip Shego, who landed flat on her face.
Donald and Negaduck were still duking it out. Donald suddenly grabbed at Negaduck's black mask, pulling it off.
Negaduck snatched it back. "Do you mind?!" He tried refastening it on with one hand while holding Donald back with the other arm. "And you're paying for the replacement suit."
Donald's reply was an unintelligible squawk.
Moosel picked up the discarded booby-trapped bouquet and removed the packet of stink-powder. He then tossed the flowers to Wraith.
"I hate flowers," said the cynical Saurian. "They're so colorful and cheerful...blech!" He began to sneeze. "And I'm allergic!"
There was sudden quaking. Everyone turned in the direction of the shaking.
Stegmutt looked confused. "I was just putting out Siege."
Siege moaned in pain.
"Now you know how I feel when you zip me in a basketball," Chameleon chided as Siege climbed onto the gurney.
Urchin took two handfuls of Selene's red hair, and yanked. Ariel pushed a button on an ink pen, covering the Elemental with thick black liquid.
Selene sniffled. "My dress is ruined!"
Lexington flipped Big Time Beagle with a wing and grinned proudly.
Brooklyn pushed Baggy aside, and patted his comrade on the shoulder. "Goliath taught you that move, didn't he?"
Broadway sat on Bouncer.
"Not a bad idea," whispered Hoppo. She immediately sat on Douglas Benson. "Hey, Dougie."
"Don't call me Dougie! It's Douglas!"
Hoppo sang in his ear. "And maybe we'll see that one day, when we conquer our fear together. When we finally find a way..."
Douglas howled. "Make it stop!"
"Oh! Ouch! Stop it!" Abis Mal screamed as Chief O'Hara chased him around, beaning Mal on the head with his truncheon.
Tanya scooped up some dirt from a potted plant and poured in into her omnitool. Another press of a button, and the dirt was moistened and packed into a mud ball. The duckette flipped the switch, letting the mud fly.
It hit Mechanicles in the cheek. He was soon bombarded by others.
Dr. Drakken seized Dr. Bellum by the collar.
Ludwig von Drake kicked Drakken in the shins. "Take your filthy mitts off my girl!"
Gadget flipped a switch on a complicated-looking miniature computer, all the while dodging Megavolt's zaps.
Megavolt felt his current being drained. "What's happening?"
"Couldn't you have just dumped a bucket of water on him, Gadget-love?" asked Monterey.
Ma Beagle held out a large pastry with several hand grenades sticking out of it. "Back off, girlie. This is a huckleberry hand-grenade cheesecake. Try anything funny--"
Elisa yawned and fired her own standard-issue pistol. The bullet knocked the pin off one hand-grenade, making the cake explode in Ma's face.
Wildwing took something out of his pocket and waved it under Professor Nimnul's nose. The mad scientist immediately passed out.
"What was that?" asked Nosedive.
"I...ahem...borrowed one of your dirty socks. I told you to wash them, but do you ever listen to me? Nooo..."
"That's low, big bro."
Phil butted Flintheart in the side with his horns.
McWhirtley rushed in. "We're dropping like flies, sir!"
Donald and Negaduck were still at it.
Scrooge struck the yellow-coated duck with his cane. "And that was for shooting at me."
Cruella managed to drag Phil off Flintheart. "We've got to retreat. We're getting creamed out there."
"Aye, lassie." Flintheart drew out a bullhorn. "Retreat!"
Hecate powered Dragaunus' teleporter, which the entire Disney Animated Series' Antagonist Coalition -- both wounded and in action -- ran towards.
"I hate it when that happens," commented Penny Proud.
TBC
"We've got a bunch of villains," began Philoctetes the satyr. "And they probably know their own enemies' own moves by now."
"Hero Rule Number 620," Hercules recited. "Take new approaches."
"So you're saying to fight someone you've never fought before?" hissed Aladdin.
"Right," replied Phil.
Darkwing took Quiverwing aside. "Young lady, I don't want to see you up against anyone more than ten years your senior!"
Quiverwing made sure nobody was in earshot. "Dad!"
"I mean. I was eighteen when I started. Megavolt was only a year apart from me. I remember because he skipped seventh grade in middle school. That aside, are you wearing your bulletproof vest?"
"DAD!" This one was sharper, though not much louder.
"Nobody lays a hand or claw on Angela," hissed Demona to her teammates.
"If anyone hurts my kids," Pete began. "I'll hurt you!"
"I don't want Aladdin dead!" whined Sadira.
"Fine," whispered Selene. "Whoever gets Aladdin injure him enough to put him out. That way, Sad can nurse him back to health."
McWhirtley pushed a large gurney forwarded.
Flintheart pointed to the stretcher. "Chameleon, Toadwart. You'll be our medics. Carry out anyone who gets here. Any questions?"
"No," replied the others.
The members of the two huddles faced each other. Scrooge and Flintheart glared at each other before shouting "Attack!" in unison.
Mozenrath aimed his gauntlet at Zummi and released several fireballs.
Zummi flipped through his notes frantically. "I know I had an ice spell somewhere." He grabbed his vial of Gummiberry juice and swallowed, bouncing out of the path of the fireballs. One bounced off a wall mirror and struck the evil magician.
Mozenrath didn't even have time to yelp in pain. His robes were torn and covered in soot. Shreds of fabric dangled from his right arm, exposing the bones. Both radius and ulna were fractured. The black hair was standing on end. The sorcerer looked almost like a caricature of himself. "Medic!"
Toadie and Chameleon rushed over with the gurney, imitating an ambulance siren.
Magica de Spell pointed her index finger. A small pink blob emanated from the tip. "A little sticky spell will keep you from bouncing away!" The blob began to grow, like a bubble of gum. Zummi whispered something as the bubble expanded. Soon it was the size of a baseball. Then a basketball. Then a beach ball.
A look of worry washed over Magica's face as she shook her finger. "It's stuck!"
"I hate to burst your bubble," joked the Gummi magician. He clapped his hands as he uttered an incantation. "Ummeth, pow nomow!"
There was a deafening explosion. Several characters, both hero and villain, looked around, confused.
Magica was now covered head to toe in what looked like pink slime.
Negaduck approached Daisy. "Why don't you abandon these losers and come with me?"
Daisy snorted. "What happened to Nega-Morgana?"
The yellow-coated duck shrugged. "It was over between us a long time ago." He tried to put his arm around Daisy.
There was a loud squawk. Before Negaduck could grab one of his many concealed weapons, Donald had jumped him. Both ducks started rolling around on the floor, punching and kicking.
Cornelius Fillmore stepped back as the Liquidator was growing into a pillar of water. The safety patrol turned around to see the Lord of the Dead blocking his path.
Hades shooed the Liquidator. "Wet boy, I can handle this. He's only in middle school. Pity to send him down the River Styx so young, but a god's gotta do what a god's gotta do."
Fillmore said nothing, simply jumped toward Hades. He went through as a blast of searing heat covered his skin. There was the sound of angry hissing. He turned around. "Disco." The Liquidator had washed toward him when he went through the God of the Dead. They had almost canceled each out.
Hades got up. Needless to say, his hair had been extinguished when the water-dog crashed into him. To his horror, he wouldn't ignite. "Beaten by a sixth grade mortal. This is worse than the time Jerkules got me with a water pistol."
Monkey Fist looked down at Darkwing Duck. "You have no chance against a master of Tai-shing pequa."
"What?" asked the caped canard.
The British man-monkey's face went red. "Monkey kung fu!"
"You won't make a monkey out of this duck, Fist," Darkwing took his fighting stance. "I happen to be a Quack Fu black belt." They began to spar.
Grammi held out a tray of her home cooking. "Would you care for some fresh old-fashioned Gummi cuisine?"
Burger Beagle grabbed the tray and wolfed down its contests. He suddenly clutched his stomach. "Ooh!"
Grammi crammed another handful into the Beagle Boy's mouth. "There's more where that came from!"
Duke L' Orange drew his saber. "You're going down, Karnage."
Don Karnage drew his own sword. "You dare to challenge moi, the Prince of Panache?"
A green ray flared from Shego's glove as she swung toward Mallory McMallard. "Looks like this is my night to deal with redheads."
Quiverwing Quack took out a glue arrow and deftly aimed it at the Gross sisters. Nubia got out of the way in time, but her two sisters found themselves stuck.
Ingrid felt one of Ursula's tentacles trap around her, tightly. She squirmed, but her arms were pinned to her sides. "Crackers."
The sea witch held out a vial. "You poor, unfortunate soul."
The raven-haired girl kicked her captor in the side, hard. The octopus loosened her grip slightly to retrieve the glass bottle. Ingrid was able to get her arms free, though Ursula constricted the tentacle -- squeezing the girl's waist like a boa constrictor on its prey.
Ingrid caught two of the other tentacles and tied them together. She repeated the process, then wove the remaining three into a braid. The safety patroller managed to wriggle free.
Ursula tried to maintain her balance. "Green-eyed wench."
Meanwhile, Duke and Karnage's swordfight had climaxed on the House of Mouse's catwalk.
Duke used his saber to knock his opponent's weapon away. The sword clattered to the floor below.
Brad, on the ground, retrieved it.
Karnage chuckled nervously. "Now, now, L'Orange. Let us not be the hasty puddings!"
The one-eyed duck smiled. "You'll need this." He tossed his own sword to the wolf.
Karnage dove for it, forgetting he was on a narrow walkway. A nervous smile crossed his face just before the delayed gravity kicked in. The wolf crashed right on top of Flizzard. They had to share a gurney, arguing through the attendants' ambulance siren noises.
Scrooge swung his cane at Signor Senior, Senior. "I have a bone to pick with you, Spaniard. You give elderly billionaires a bad name!"
There was the miniature sonic boom of a gunshot.
Moltoc was holding out his smoking shotgun. "There's more than one way to skin a duck." He aimed at Scrooge. Before he could squeeze the trigger, a shotgun pellet ripped through the barrel of the gun.
Goldie brandished her own shotgun. "You no-good varmint! I'll teach you to point a gun at my boyfriend!" She fired several more shots in quick succession, all missing by mere inches.
Monkey Fist panted. "I guess should have ordered caffeinated tea instead of decaf."
"O-HI-O!" The man monkey felt one of Darkwing's patented web-kicks to his side. Obeying the conservation of momentum, he flew through the air and crashed into the wall.
Darkwing calmly brushed the dust off his costume. "Yep, yep, yep. Another pernicious primate put in its place by yours truly."
Simultaneously, Thundra flew toward Bushroot and whispered in his ear. "I'll give you a chance to get out of here, or I'll cause a drought."
Bushroot looked nervous. "As much as I'd like to get out of here, I can't. And Liquidator can just tap into a water line for me."
"Very well," replied the avian weather-goddess.
There was a sudden blast of wind that struck the mutant plant-duck. He struggled not to get blown away, but even as a full duck, Reginald Bushroot had always been underweight. "All right! You win!"
Lady Bane fired mystic bolts at Angela. The bolts were not powerful enough to seriously injure, but the young gargoyle dodged them nonetheless.
Angela grabbed the train of Lady Bane's dress and lifted her through the air.
The sorceress went pale. "Stop! I'm afraid of heights!" The gown ripped as the female gargoyle was descending. Bane fell to the floor, though not far. Medieval medicine was primitive, but she could tell her ankle was twisted or broken. "Demona, you've created a...Demona?" She scanned the area, searching for her gargoyle teammate.
Demona was in the air, dueling with Kim, who was flying with the aid of a jet-pack.
Lady Bane limped toward the medics while Angela watched the aerial fight.
Wade was seated in the shadows, whispering to Ron. "While everyone was busy, I took the liberty of planting a chip on the bionic bull. What's his name again?"
"Taurus Bulba, I think," replied Ron uneasily.
Wade pointed at the laptop in front of him. "I'm going to see if I can disable his system. You can distract him while I hack."
The color drained from Ron's face. "Why do I always have to be the distraction? What can I do?"
Wade chuckled. "Run, Ron. Run as fast as you can."
Ron groaned and rushed forward. "Hey, constellation! Come and get me!"
Bulba responded by turning his multi-purpose left arm into a laser cannon and firing.
Ron ducked. "Hey! Don't take it out on me!"
Wade typed feverishly. The screen flashed a message. "Cooling system disabled."
Ron dove under a table just as it was blasted into a pile of ashes.
"I joined this congress to get a shot at Darkwing Duck," snarled the cyborg, blasting an overhead klieg light. It wobbled precariously, but did not fall. "And I am not about to let a clumsy teenager ruin that for me!" Suddenly, the prosthetics emitted steam, and the huge bull stood still.
Ron gave a sigh of relief. "I'm still in one piece, and I haven't been blown to Bermuda. I guess I'm not such a goof if I really try." The klieg light's clamp gave away and it crashed to the floor, barely missing Ron's head.
Rufus, Ron's pink naked mole rat, was busy sinking his rather large front teeth into Wart's tail.
"Yeowch!" The lizard screamed, crashing right into Mepps. The tangled twosome rolled into Mole. The threesome had combined into a ball, which rolled right out of the nightclub.
Quiverwing fired one of her bola arrows, which wrapped around Nubia. She reached into her quiver as Brad came toward her with Karnage's sword. "Uh oh." I forgot to refill!
"I'm used to working hard, Miss Quiverwing," began Brad. "And then getting what I want--"
Quiverwing's sidekick came between them. "Leave her alone!" Before he knew what he was doing, the Arrow Kid curled his right hand into a fist and had socked the human in the nose.
Brad dropped the sword in horror. His hands reached up to his nose. Blood dripped between his fingers. "I'm hemophiliac!" He ran off in search of first aid.
"What's that?" asked Quiverwing.
"It's a disorder that reduces the blood's ability to clot," answered the Arrow Kid.
"How'd you know he had it?"
"I didn't."
"That was some punch. You know, I was crazy to think you'd make a good sidekick. We'll be partners--"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Quiverwing Quack and the Arrow Kid, like a hot dog and mustard. Can't you see it in lights? Or ink?"
Donald and Negaduck rolled by. Both were tearing at the other's clothes, kicking, and insulting each other.
Moltoc and Goldie by now had run out of shotgun pellets, but Miss O' Gilt managed to whack the evil adventurer on the head with the butt of her gun. Moltoc crumpled to the floor, alive but unconscious.
"Where's your son?" Scrooge asked his opponent. They were wrestling with their walking sticks.
"He was too lazy and stupid to join the Coalition, so I left him at home," replied Signor Senior Senior.
"Don't refer to your family that way," Scrooge gripped Signor Senior Senior's cane. They held it between them. "Money is almost everything, but IT IS NOT EVERYTHING!" With that, he whipped the cane violently.
His rival couldn't keep his grip, flew through the air, and landed on a table, which broke under the force. The elderly billionaire tried to get up. "My back."
Pete looked disdainfully at Bronx. "Where's your master, you stupid mutt?" The gargoyle growled at him. Pete back away. "Intelligent! I meant intelligent mutt!" He turned to run away.
You've never been bitten until you've been bitten by an intelligent mutt, thought Bronx, leaping forward and sinking his teeth into Pete's rear end.
Monterey Jack panted. "Where's the dog-headed god when you need him?" He was naturally referring to Mirage, whom he was trying to distract.
Zipper took one end of two ropes and flew up, tying them to Mirage's headdress. Chip and Dale were holding the other ends. The chipmunks ran in circles, in opposite directions. The ropes wrapped around the cat goddess as if she were a maypole.
Asteroth morphed into a large red dragon. His original amulet had been destroyed by the Mighty Ducks a while back, but he had been able to acquire a replacement. Fortunately, for our heroes, the new amulet was only half as powerful as the first -- which made it easy for Genie to zap up enough water to extinguish the fire.
Genie morphed into Robin Hood and fired an arrow, which sliced through the amulet's chain. The amulet tumbled to the floor and shattered.
Asteroth shook his head. "They just don't make them like they used to."
Genie morphed into Richard Nixon and did the infamous victory pose.
"Can the bloopers, Big Blue," called Gruffi, who was using Gummiberry juice to bounce up and down on Colonel Spigot.
Ariel and Urchin were occupied with Selene, while Sebastian and Flounder were in the middle of a loud argument with Armand.
Gill's red eyes gleamed as he spat multiple globs of green slime at Neptunia.
Neptunia grabbed his wrist. "We may be in the same boat, but you're just as bad as those lousy humans who are mucking up my ocean, bub." She flipped Gill over her head, who miraculously landed on the empty stretcher.
"Wow. I never knew radioactive runoff could create super-strength," commented Gill.
Demona was now getting impatient. Her eyes glowed red as she raked her claws against the device on Kim's back.
Kim bit back a scream as she began to fall, but she felt herself being caught by Angela.
"My own daughter plotting against me," snorted Demona, withdrawing.
"She's got more angles than a dodecahedron," commented Kim.
"Not a thing you say can stop her," Angela mumbled. "When she just can't stop herself."
Sunni and Cubbi bounced energetically in rings around Croc, who was practically going crazy chasing them. The huge reptile slowed down, panting. "I am waaay too old for this!"
After a stalemate, Mallory finally managed to trip Shego, who landed flat on her face.
Donald and Negaduck were still duking it out. Donald suddenly grabbed at Negaduck's black mask, pulling it off.
Negaduck snatched it back. "Do you mind?!" He tried refastening it on with one hand while holding Donald back with the other arm. "And you're paying for the replacement suit."
Donald's reply was an unintelligible squawk.
Moosel picked up the discarded booby-trapped bouquet and removed the packet of stink-powder. He then tossed the flowers to Wraith.
"I hate flowers," said the cynical Saurian. "They're so colorful and cheerful...blech!" He began to sneeze. "And I'm allergic!"
There was sudden quaking. Everyone turned in the direction of the shaking.
Stegmutt looked confused. "I was just putting out Siege."
Siege moaned in pain.
"Now you know how I feel when you zip me in a basketball," Chameleon chided as Siege climbed onto the gurney.
Urchin took two handfuls of Selene's red hair, and yanked. Ariel pushed a button on an ink pen, covering the Elemental with thick black liquid.
Selene sniffled. "My dress is ruined!"
Lexington flipped Big Time Beagle with a wing and grinned proudly.
Brooklyn pushed Baggy aside, and patted his comrade on the shoulder. "Goliath taught you that move, didn't he?"
Broadway sat on Bouncer.
"Not a bad idea," whispered Hoppo. She immediately sat on Douglas Benson. "Hey, Dougie."
"Don't call me Dougie! It's Douglas!"
Hoppo sang in his ear. "And maybe we'll see that one day, when we conquer our fear together. When we finally find a way..."
Douglas howled. "Make it stop!"
"Oh! Ouch! Stop it!" Abis Mal screamed as Chief O'Hara chased him around, beaning Mal on the head with his truncheon.
Tanya scooped up some dirt from a potted plant and poured in into her omnitool. Another press of a button, and the dirt was moistened and packed into a mud ball. The duckette flipped the switch, letting the mud fly.
It hit Mechanicles in the cheek. He was soon bombarded by others.
Dr. Drakken seized Dr. Bellum by the collar.
Ludwig von Drake kicked Drakken in the shins. "Take your filthy mitts off my girl!"
Gadget flipped a switch on a complicated-looking miniature computer, all the while dodging Megavolt's zaps.
Megavolt felt his current being drained. "What's happening?"
"Couldn't you have just dumped a bucket of water on him, Gadget-love?" asked Monterey.
Ma Beagle held out a large pastry with several hand grenades sticking out of it. "Back off, girlie. This is a huckleberry hand-grenade cheesecake. Try anything funny--"
Elisa yawned and fired her own standard-issue pistol. The bullet knocked the pin off one hand-grenade, making the cake explode in Ma's face.
Wildwing took something out of his pocket and waved it under Professor Nimnul's nose. The mad scientist immediately passed out.
"What was that?" asked Nosedive.
"I...ahem...borrowed one of your dirty socks. I told you to wash them, but do you ever listen to me? Nooo..."
"That's low, big bro."
Phil butted Flintheart in the side with his horns.
McWhirtley rushed in. "We're dropping like flies, sir!"
Donald and Negaduck were still at it.
Scrooge struck the yellow-coated duck with his cane. "And that was for shooting at me."
Cruella managed to drag Phil off Flintheart. "We've got to retreat. We're getting creamed out there."
"Aye, lassie." Flintheart drew out a bullhorn. "Retreat!"
Hecate powered Dragaunus' teleporter, which the entire Disney Animated Series' Antagonist Coalition -- both wounded and in action -- ran towards.
"I hate it when that happens," commented Penny Proud.
TBC