dead flowers
Eventually, school started. Always does. I kept doing my usual thing, being there but not really. Really I was back with Mark, Cathy, M & M, and even Charlie. Deep in my thoughts, I was back in that time when I could feel.
Maybe I can still feel. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Its all I can think about. What used to be, but is no more. Now it doesn't exist.
In the hallways at school, some people wave at me, like guys I used to talk to during class, and even Ponyboy. But when they wave, it's not like they're trying to say hi to me cause we're such great friends. Every wave is awkward and done out of pity for me. Now, people don't hate me, now I'm the charity case.
They look at me for a second afterwards, wondering if this time I'll wave back, if this time I'll show that I'm human. I don't and I'm not.
After about 2 weeks, people got sick of me. No more sympathetic waves. Except for Ponyboy. He's an angel, remember?
Finally, Ponyboy came up to me real slow, like he was approaching a wild animal. I rolled my eyes upward and slumped down in my chair.
"Hey." Hey it was the first time he had talked to me in so many months. I figured if I ignored him he might leave, it usually worked. Not this time, I guess.
"How ya doing, Bryon?" Was he kidding? I was miserable, and he knew it. "How's Junior year been so far?" He paused so I could answer, but I didn't want to talk to him. Couldn't he figure that out?
"It isn't so bad. There's a lot more work, though, ain't that right?" Guess not. Poor Cathy, dating an idiot.
I didn't feel like sticking around, so I left. Never said one word to Ponyboy. Oh well.
I climbed into my car and drove it from the school back to my house. I had put new locks on the doors after a nightmare that Mark broke out of jail and came for me. It was a waste of money, though, cause he could always find me if he tired hard enough . And hey, why would he do that? Then he'd break his promikse that he'd never see me again when he got out.
The house would've been silent with Mom still at work, but her cats noised it up. All that meowing or whatever, begging for food. I swear, they ate more than me.
I went up to my room, the one I had shared with Mark. The police had messed with his junk, of couse, but besides that his things hadn't been touched. Mom hadn't even washed the sheets on the bed.
I only had an hour to do my homework before I went to work. If I kept my grades up, I could get a scholarship and leave this joint.
Ponyboy was right, we did have a lot of work this year. And it was real hard, too. After being stuck on an Algebra problem for 20 minutes, I though why wait? Why haven't I left town already? For Mom? She didn't need me, she'd be fine. She had her cats.
So I decided to leave.
I went ahead and went to work that night so I could get my paycheck. Man, I deserved every dime I got. You don't know how many lousy things I had to do, cleaning up vomit and even being held up by some Socs once. Can you believe it? Rich kids stealing money.
Before I left I went over to the floral part. I used to get flowers for chicks all the time. They go crazy over them. But this wasn't for a chick. I had some other business to take care of.
I drove down to that beat-up, rotten, poor, bum cemetary. It was kind of spooky being there at night and all. I got out and found Charlie's grave; I remembered exactly where it was. What would Charlie think of me now, huh?
I formed words hoarsely when I reached his marker:
"Look at me now, Charlie. You gave your life for me and Mark. I screwed up Mark's and look what I've done with mine? Aren't you proud?"
I threw the flowers down and ran to my/his car.
After driving off, I started towards the road leading out of town, but then I passed the old bar, and sort of wondered if I should've put the flowers in front of the bar in maybe in that alley instead.
It was hard to take. It was all hard to take. But I couldn't keep running. Charlie gave his life for mine and I couldn't waste it.
I turned around in a shopping mall parking lot, and headed for Cathy's.
END OF PART ONE
-----
So y'all....
Whatdja think?
Eventually, school started. Always does. I kept doing my usual thing, being there but not really. Really I was back with Mark, Cathy, M & M, and even Charlie. Deep in my thoughts, I was back in that time when I could feel.
Maybe I can still feel. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Its all I can think about. What used to be, but is no more. Now it doesn't exist.
In the hallways at school, some people wave at me, like guys I used to talk to during class, and even Ponyboy. But when they wave, it's not like they're trying to say hi to me cause we're such great friends. Every wave is awkward and done out of pity for me. Now, people don't hate me, now I'm the charity case.
They look at me for a second afterwards, wondering if this time I'll wave back, if this time I'll show that I'm human. I don't and I'm not.
After about 2 weeks, people got sick of me. No more sympathetic waves. Except for Ponyboy. He's an angel, remember?
Finally, Ponyboy came up to me real slow, like he was approaching a wild animal. I rolled my eyes upward and slumped down in my chair.
"Hey." Hey it was the first time he had talked to me in so many months. I figured if I ignored him he might leave, it usually worked. Not this time, I guess.
"How ya doing, Bryon?" Was he kidding? I was miserable, and he knew it. "How's Junior year been so far?" He paused so I could answer, but I didn't want to talk to him. Couldn't he figure that out?
"It isn't so bad. There's a lot more work, though, ain't that right?" Guess not. Poor Cathy, dating an idiot.
I didn't feel like sticking around, so I left. Never said one word to Ponyboy. Oh well.
I climbed into my car and drove it from the school back to my house. I had put new locks on the doors after a nightmare that Mark broke out of jail and came for me. It was a waste of money, though, cause he could always find me if he tired hard enough . And hey, why would he do that? Then he'd break his promikse that he'd never see me again when he got out.
The house would've been silent with Mom still at work, but her cats noised it up. All that meowing or whatever, begging for food. I swear, they ate more than me.
I went up to my room, the one I had shared with Mark. The police had messed with his junk, of couse, but besides that his things hadn't been touched. Mom hadn't even washed the sheets on the bed.
I only had an hour to do my homework before I went to work. If I kept my grades up, I could get a scholarship and leave this joint.
Ponyboy was right, we did have a lot of work this year. And it was real hard, too. After being stuck on an Algebra problem for 20 minutes, I though why wait? Why haven't I left town already? For Mom? She didn't need me, she'd be fine. She had her cats.
So I decided to leave.
I went ahead and went to work that night so I could get my paycheck. Man, I deserved every dime I got. You don't know how many lousy things I had to do, cleaning up vomit and even being held up by some Socs once. Can you believe it? Rich kids stealing money.
Before I left I went over to the floral part. I used to get flowers for chicks all the time. They go crazy over them. But this wasn't for a chick. I had some other business to take care of.
I drove down to that beat-up, rotten, poor, bum cemetary. It was kind of spooky being there at night and all. I got out and found Charlie's grave; I remembered exactly where it was. What would Charlie think of me now, huh?
I formed words hoarsely when I reached his marker:
"Look at me now, Charlie. You gave your life for me and Mark. I screwed up Mark's and look what I've done with mine? Aren't you proud?"
I threw the flowers down and ran to my/his car.
After driving off, I started towards the road leading out of town, but then I passed the old bar, and sort of wondered if I should've put the flowers in front of the bar in maybe in that alley instead.
It was hard to take. It was all hard to take. But I couldn't keep running. Charlie gave his life for mine and I couldn't waste it.
I turned around in a shopping mall parking lot, and headed for Cathy's.
END OF PART ONE
-----
So y'all....
Whatdja think?