~*~GREEN EYES~*~
Chapter 50- The Note
A silence fell over Sirius, Lily and Pandora as James spoke the words. Then, out of nowhere, Lily raised her hand and slapped James, hard, right across the face.
"What the hell James! I told you I was worried about him. I told you 'watch him because I'm afraid he's going to do something stupid.' Did you not hear me? Do you not understand english? I left you alone with directions to not let him do anything and he... good God you're an idiot James Potter, you're a god damn idiot!" Lily's words echoed through the hallway, she had yelled so loud that she was out of breath. She raised her hand to slap him again, but Sirius stopped her.
"Lily, right now you're not helping," said Sirius.
"It's okay, I probably deserved it," James said, rubbing his cheek. "It's all my fault, I shouldn't have-" Sirius cut him off.
"It doesn't matter who's fault it is. You said Remus committed suicide, are you really saying that he's..dead?" as Sirius whispered the last word, tears started to run down Lily's face. Pandora seemed to understand how massive this was and put a comforting arm around Lily.
"He wasn't breathing when Snape found him," explained James.
"Snape found him?" asked Lily.
"Yeah. Come on, we should go to the hospital wing right now. I'll explain everything on the way," said James, walking up the stairs. Lily, and Sirius followed, and then Pandora walked behind, apparently not knowing what else to do.
"Explain everything," Lily demanded, with an edge in her tone.
"Well, I had talked to Remus earlier in the day and I really thought that I got through to him. After we got back to the common room, he told me he was going to the prefect's bathroom to soak in the tub for awhile. Snape waked into there about an hour later and he was face down in the water," said James.
"I bet you it was Snape's fault," Sirius said. James shook his head.
"As soon as Snape found him he drained the water from the pool, went over to the hospital wing and then found me," James still seemed to be in shock, he was remarkably calm.
"What I'm saying is, what if it wasn't a suicide? What if Snape pushed him under and then, after he was sure he was dead, he pretended it was a suicide?" Sirius couldn't imagine his friend doing this to everyone, he refused to believe it was Remus's choice.
"It was a suicide. He left a note," James stated this so simply that Lily started to cry again.
They had just gotten to the hospital wing when James noticed that Pandora was following them..
"Listen, I don't know who you are, but you should probably get back to your common room. This is kind of personal," James told her.
"She doesn't have a common room. She's from Beauxbatons," explained Sirius. "It's a long story," he added when James looked perplexed.
"Well I guess you can come along then," said James, running through the door. Remus was lying on one of the beds, hooked up to some sort of magical device that seemed to be breathing for him. Peter was sitting at his side, seemingly in a state of shock. Dumbledore sat silently in the corner, his bright blue eyes full of sadness. Madam Pomfrey seemed to be crying, Remus was one of her favorite students.
"Is he okay?" asked Sirius. Madam Pomfrey shook her head.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he's not going to get any better. We have him hooked up to the machine so you can say good-bye to him, but he's not going to make it. I'm so sorry," she looked sorry too, tears glistened in her eyes. She went over to her table and picked up a piece of parchment, then handed it to Sirius.
"He left this note. I'll let you read it before I take him off the machine. No one's read it yet," said Madam Pomfrey. Sirius unfolded the piece of parchment and started to read out loud.
Dear everyone,
I'm sure you're not wondering why I did this. I'm not sorry about it either. I'm sorry for you guys, but I just couldn't go on living anymore. I hope you understand. I just feel like I wake up in the morning and I have nothing worth living for, and that isn't such a great feeling. You guys are strong, you'll make it through. I'm not, and I'm sorry.
Prongs, you did so much for me. Please take my quidditch supplies, I won't need them anymore. You can give my broom to anyone who needs it, since yours is so much better than mine. Also, take one third of my supply of fireworks, joke items, etc. Use them to the fullest extent.
Padfoot, there have been so many days when you made me smile by telling me some sort of stupid joke. Keep doing that, you never know who you're going to make happy. To you I leave my journal, since you've been dying to read it since first year. I'll my secrets are now yours, and another third of my fireworks. You know what to do with them.
Wormtail, I know it's been hard for you. You always show so much determination, and even though you have it tough you've discovered how to be cunning. To you I leave my exploding snap, and the last portion of my fireworks. Don't worry about life, you'll do well.
Don't worry, I didn't forget you Lily flower. I order you to never cut that gorgeous red hair of yours. To you I leave the scrapbook, I hope it can remind you of happier times. Keep James in check, he needs that sometimes.
At the bleeding edge of happiness
Lies a wide and gaping hole
A mouth of fangs and daggers
Devouring a long forgotten knoll
The doves don't dare to enter
And no light can find that place
It's a cloak of blinding darkness
Masking Misery's ugly face
I am beckoned by desire
To that place where shadows hide
To fly across the jagged rift
And see the other side
The dark screams a silent warning
And I know I should not stay
But I stand transfixed by mystery
I cannot turn away
The ledge I stand on crumbles
Leaving rocks to break my fall
Staring down at the unknown fortress
I cling tightly to the wall
The breeze that plays across my face
Is death's last glorious kiss
From the eroding edge of happiness
I fall into the abyss
I love you all, and I really do feel bad for doing this. I'm lost to a world far away, but it's not too late for you. I hope you all make it.
Good-bye,
Remus
There was not one dry eye in the entire hospital wing by the time Sirius finished reading. They cried in silence for awhile, each one comforting someone else. After a few minutes they all realized what they had to do. It was time to say good-bye.
They each whispered good bye in his ear, wishing he could hear him but knowing in their hearts that he couldn't. After a final kiss on the forehead from Lily, Dumbledore cleared his throat.
"I think we've done all that we can," he said. Madam Pomfrey nodded her head and walked over to Remus. With one swift motion of her wand the magical machine that was keeping Remus alive disappeared. His chest, which had been moving ever so slightly, was still. They watched in silence for about thirty seconds, and then something amazing happened.
Remus coughed, water rushing out of his mouth. He coughed again, and then started to breathe. Everyone looked around, amazed, wondering what could have happened.
"I thought you said he wouldn't make it," said Lily, her face still wet with tears.
"There was really no way that he could. It has to be some kind of miracle," said Madam Pomfrey, awestruck. "I've never seen anything quite like this."
"Maybe he didn't want to give up quite yet," Sirius thought out loud, although it seemed doubtful. It was then that Pandora, who had been waiting silently on the opposite side of the room, spoke.
"Maybe there's someone out there that loves him too much to let him."
A/N- I just love happy endings!!! This supposed to be out on saturday but I had practice for eight hours (that's got to be cruelty to students, my muscles are so sore.) I'm starting to get back into the groove of writing this though, I'm really excited about it. Thank you to everyone that's been reviewing and sticking with the story, I love you guys! The next chapter will be out sometime in the next week, I'm hoping wednesday so cross your fingers.
By the way, that poem was something I wrote when one of my little brother's friends committed suicide. It's about how teenagers don't really comprehend death, they're just kind of curious. Even though it's really depressing, it's my favorite. If you want to read more poems, I have a fiction press pen name. . If you want to visit it would be very much appreciated.
Also, if any of you write poetry, that's one of my passions. You can send me anything, I'd love to read it!
Please review!
Disclaimer- I own nothing except that poem. If you try to steal the poem I will hunt you down and take away all your chocolate, so please don't. It's copyrighted to my name so stealing it would be just plain stupid.
Chapter 50- The Note
A silence fell over Sirius, Lily and Pandora as James spoke the words. Then, out of nowhere, Lily raised her hand and slapped James, hard, right across the face.
"What the hell James! I told you I was worried about him. I told you 'watch him because I'm afraid he's going to do something stupid.' Did you not hear me? Do you not understand english? I left you alone with directions to not let him do anything and he... good God you're an idiot James Potter, you're a god damn idiot!" Lily's words echoed through the hallway, she had yelled so loud that she was out of breath. She raised her hand to slap him again, but Sirius stopped her.
"Lily, right now you're not helping," said Sirius.
"It's okay, I probably deserved it," James said, rubbing his cheek. "It's all my fault, I shouldn't have-" Sirius cut him off.
"It doesn't matter who's fault it is. You said Remus committed suicide, are you really saying that he's..dead?" as Sirius whispered the last word, tears started to run down Lily's face. Pandora seemed to understand how massive this was and put a comforting arm around Lily.
"He wasn't breathing when Snape found him," explained James.
"Snape found him?" asked Lily.
"Yeah. Come on, we should go to the hospital wing right now. I'll explain everything on the way," said James, walking up the stairs. Lily, and Sirius followed, and then Pandora walked behind, apparently not knowing what else to do.
"Explain everything," Lily demanded, with an edge in her tone.
"Well, I had talked to Remus earlier in the day and I really thought that I got through to him. After we got back to the common room, he told me he was going to the prefect's bathroom to soak in the tub for awhile. Snape waked into there about an hour later and he was face down in the water," said James.
"I bet you it was Snape's fault," Sirius said. James shook his head.
"As soon as Snape found him he drained the water from the pool, went over to the hospital wing and then found me," James still seemed to be in shock, he was remarkably calm.
"What I'm saying is, what if it wasn't a suicide? What if Snape pushed him under and then, after he was sure he was dead, he pretended it was a suicide?" Sirius couldn't imagine his friend doing this to everyone, he refused to believe it was Remus's choice.
"It was a suicide. He left a note," James stated this so simply that Lily started to cry again.
They had just gotten to the hospital wing when James noticed that Pandora was following them..
"Listen, I don't know who you are, but you should probably get back to your common room. This is kind of personal," James told her.
"She doesn't have a common room. She's from Beauxbatons," explained Sirius. "It's a long story," he added when James looked perplexed.
"Well I guess you can come along then," said James, running through the door. Remus was lying on one of the beds, hooked up to some sort of magical device that seemed to be breathing for him. Peter was sitting at his side, seemingly in a state of shock. Dumbledore sat silently in the corner, his bright blue eyes full of sadness. Madam Pomfrey seemed to be crying, Remus was one of her favorite students.
"Is he okay?" asked Sirius. Madam Pomfrey shook her head.
"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but he's not going to get any better. We have him hooked up to the machine so you can say good-bye to him, but he's not going to make it. I'm so sorry," she looked sorry too, tears glistened in her eyes. She went over to her table and picked up a piece of parchment, then handed it to Sirius.
"He left this note. I'll let you read it before I take him off the machine. No one's read it yet," said Madam Pomfrey. Sirius unfolded the piece of parchment and started to read out loud.
Dear everyone,
I'm sure you're not wondering why I did this. I'm not sorry about it either. I'm sorry for you guys, but I just couldn't go on living anymore. I hope you understand. I just feel like I wake up in the morning and I have nothing worth living for, and that isn't such a great feeling. You guys are strong, you'll make it through. I'm not, and I'm sorry.
Prongs, you did so much for me. Please take my quidditch supplies, I won't need them anymore. You can give my broom to anyone who needs it, since yours is so much better than mine. Also, take one third of my supply of fireworks, joke items, etc. Use them to the fullest extent.
Padfoot, there have been so many days when you made me smile by telling me some sort of stupid joke. Keep doing that, you never know who you're going to make happy. To you I leave my journal, since you've been dying to read it since first year. I'll my secrets are now yours, and another third of my fireworks. You know what to do with them.
Wormtail, I know it's been hard for you. You always show so much determination, and even though you have it tough you've discovered how to be cunning. To you I leave my exploding snap, and the last portion of my fireworks. Don't worry about life, you'll do well.
Don't worry, I didn't forget you Lily flower. I order you to never cut that gorgeous red hair of yours. To you I leave the scrapbook, I hope it can remind you of happier times. Keep James in check, he needs that sometimes.
At the bleeding edge of happiness
Lies a wide and gaping hole
A mouth of fangs and daggers
Devouring a long forgotten knoll
The doves don't dare to enter
And no light can find that place
It's a cloak of blinding darkness
Masking Misery's ugly face
I am beckoned by desire
To that place where shadows hide
To fly across the jagged rift
And see the other side
The dark screams a silent warning
And I know I should not stay
But I stand transfixed by mystery
I cannot turn away
The ledge I stand on crumbles
Leaving rocks to break my fall
Staring down at the unknown fortress
I cling tightly to the wall
The breeze that plays across my face
Is death's last glorious kiss
From the eroding edge of happiness
I fall into the abyss
I love you all, and I really do feel bad for doing this. I'm lost to a world far away, but it's not too late for you. I hope you all make it.
Good-bye,
Remus
There was not one dry eye in the entire hospital wing by the time Sirius finished reading. They cried in silence for awhile, each one comforting someone else. After a few minutes they all realized what they had to do. It was time to say good-bye.
They each whispered good bye in his ear, wishing he could hear him but knowing in their hearts that he couldn't. After a final kiss on the forehead from Lily, Dumbledore cleared his throat.
"I think we've done all that we can," he said. Madam Pomfrey nodded her head and walked over to Remus. With one swift motion of her wand the magical machine that was keeping Remus alive disappeared. His chest, which had been moving ever so slightly, was still. They watched in silence for about thirty seconds, and then something amazing happened.
Remus coughed, water rushing out of his mouth. He coughed again, and then started to breathe. Everyone looked around, amazed, wondering what could have happened.
"I thought you said he wouldn't make it," said Lily, her face still wet with tears.
"There was really no way that he could. It has to be some kind of miracle," said Madam Pomfrey, awestruck. "I've never seen anything quite like this."
"Maybe he didn't want to give up quite yet," Sirius thought out loud, although it seemed doubtful. It was then that Pandora, who had been waiting silently on the opposite side of the room, spoke.
"Maybe there's someone out there that loves him too much to let him."
A/N- I just love happy endings!!! This supposed to be out on saturday but I had practice for eight hours (that's got to be cruelty to students, my muscles are so sore.) I'm starting to get back into the groove of writing this though, I'm really excited about it. Thank you to everyone that's been reviewing and sticking with the story, I love you guys! The next chapter will be out sometime in the next week, I'm hoping wednesday so cross your fingers.
By the way, that poem was something I wrote when one of my little brother's friends committed suicide. It's about how teenagers don't really comprehend death, they're just kind of curious. Even though it's really depressing, it's my favorite. If you want to read more poems, I have a fiction press pen name. . If you want to visit it would be very much appreciated.
Also, if any of you write poetry, that's one of my passions. You can send me anything, I'd love to read it!
Please review!
Disclaimer- I own nothing except that poem. If you try to steal the poem I will hunt you down and take away all your chocolate, so please don't. It's copyrighted to my name so stealing it would be just plain stupid.