Russian Blue
Author's Notes: Chapter 22. Well, after the rush of the holiday season, the gifts, the burned turkey, the yams, the cranberry sauce, the cheesy x- mas music (which I love) now it's time to return to the real world. The "real" world. Such a cliché word! Oh well, alas, this chapter is dedicated to my good friend, Monica (AKA Tenshi). Hope you're doing as good as it gets my friend.
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters and plots are my idea. The song is entitled "Almost Home", by Craig Morgan.
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[...I was walking down an old dirt road Pass a field of hay that had just been mown man, I wish you'd just left me alone I was almost home...]
For the first time in a long time, Gaiev felt complete. He felt safe, warm - he felt loved.
He opened his eyes slowly, as if to savor the moment, the exact moment when he would see the light (the face of God, some might say, others just the beginning of a journey that begins when one dies) but there was no light, only shadows and darkness that wouldn't allow him to see beyond his nose, his hands, his existence. Then, slowly, the darkness began to shape: figures and lights, a warm feeling of belonging...
... He was home...
He was back in his old room, with his posters and plush animals. He was underneath his warm bed covers, with the images of birds on them, his arms wrapped around the big, squishy plush pony he had since he was a kid. He could smell the warm cooking coming from the kitchen, and it was all so heart-warming. He got up. He was wearing his moon, cotton pajamas, and his hair was all messed-up, like it usually was after a nice, long, good-night sleep. He looked outside the window: the snow covered almost all the street, the roofs and some of the cars parked outside. He could see the window of his front neighbor, and like all winter mornings, Mrs. Popo was baking something yummy and was about to place it on her window to cool it off. Mrs. Popo was always kind and gentle, and waved at Gaiev when she spotted him on the window, making Gaiev wave back in slow motions. He came downstairs, almost tripping on the stairway, calling out his mother and father, his brothers, his sisters, and when he turned to the door, he saw the fireplace burning, and someone sitting in the couch in front of the fireplace. He walked slowly towards that person, not recognizing him from the distance.
"Who - Who are..." and the man turned around. Gaiev has this lovely look of a person who wants to recognize himself in the mirror, or worse, a person who has just met his exact double, whom he hates more than ever, "... you"
"Hey," Dee greeted, taking a drag out of his half-finished cigarette. He wore his long black coat and lose scarf, with those sunglasses that made him look like he was just too much for the room, "We were wondering when you where coming down. Heck! He was just about to go and wake you up too..."
"H-He?"
"(Hello, love)"
Gaiev gasped as he turned around. His eyes filled-up with tears and he had to cover his mouth with his hands to restrain a scream as Alexei smiled at him, his bright blue eyes shinning like they never shone before. Gaiev threw himself in to his arms, feeling his heart jump with joy at the sight of him.
"Alexei..." he whispered, his face filled with anguish, "But-but I thought... you're dead! I mean, I saw them... kill you... I saw your body..." but Alexei smiled and stroke his hair with tenderness.
"I know love... I know..."
"And you," he said turning to Dee, "You're dead too... Ryo told me..."
Ryo.
The gangs, the murders, the beatings, the pain. It all came back in a flash. He felt his stomach take a turn for the worse and he had to sit down. Dee moved over next to Gaiev as Alexei took a seat in the sofa's arm, "You can't stay here," he said with a warmness in his voice Gaiev tried to grasp, "You can't stay here - it's not your time. Not yet. You have to go back, Gaiev."
"What?" Gaiev felt his voice tremble.
"You have to go back," Alexei said, massaging Gaiev's shoulders with care, "This is not your place or time. Over there, you have someone who is waiting for you."
"But I - No! I won't! This is my home, my home! You - Alexei..." he sounded desperate, his eyes filling up with tears, "You can't be serious about this. I have nothing to go back to," he said turning to face Dee, "There's nothing more than pain, and coldness, and more pain, even worse than before now that - now that... there's nothing left..."
"What about Ryo?" Alexei asked softly.
Gaiev turned to face Alexei; his eyes where filled with love as he spoke, "He needs you - he loves you even more than he could ever expected. He prays for you, even now as he watches you lying there... he prays..."
He could hear soft voices coming from the roof. "God... I know you're not here, but I know you're listening. Make him better? I beg of you, make him wake up - open his eyes, God, and make him come back. Make this all just a big nightmare to wake up to... Please, make him come home to me? Don't... Don't take him away from me... not yet... please? I never wanted to come to you like this, but please... make him stay... Make him know how much I love him... how much I need him by my side... I can't... I can't take it again, God, please? Please make him open his eyes... those beautiful eyes... and let him hear his voice again..."
It was Ryo...
"Do you love him, Gaiev?" Alexei asked. Gaiev turned to face him, tears rolling down his face.
"Yes..." he whispered. He felt so bad telling his to the *other* man in his life, his beloved Alexei, who gave him a soft smile, "Then you should go to him. Start over, love. Make a life out of what's left. You can always come back home, here..."
"This is home..." Gaiev whispered, looking around. Everything was just as he remembered to be - the fire, the big moose head above the fire, the little tea table in the middle of the room, "I miss home - I miss..." and then he turned to see Alexei again. His mother and father where there, smiling. Sitting on the sofa next to Dee's was his older brother, Yakov, with his wife, Ekaterina and their two children, Luca and Glafira where sitting on the floor, their bright little faces smiling at Gaiev. Next to Dee was Maria, with her flower Sunday dress and her bright white shoes and her curls very nicely over her shoulders. On the couch next to Gaiev was his brother, Innokenty, his arms crossed and looking dashing in his black suit, and kneeling in front of him, taking his hands was his brother Lev, who smiled as widely as he could (as he always did) as Gaiev couldn't help but to burst out in tears, "I MISS YOU ALL!! AND I AM SO, SO SORRY - FOR EVERTHING!! Papa..." he cried turning to his father, "Mama," he looked at his mother, "Please, forgive me..."
"We will never forgive you," his brother Lev said, making Gaiev turn to face him, "Never, ever forgive you - if you let this last chance at life pass you by. Go back, Gaiev, and live - to the fullest you must live! Embrace life as it gives you another chance to enjoy it! Dance with it! Make love to it! Enjoy it in every way possible, in every way you can and love with all your heart and soul, with everything you have, like that day is your last day to do so. And then, in the silent night, you'll pray - let your heart elevate itself towards God, and set your soul free of all misery, for you are loved, more than you'll ever know. We shall we waiting here for this is your home, my brother. And it will always be here."
Dee placed his hand on Gaiev's shoulder, "Go home," he whispered, "You have someone there, waiting for you..."
Gaiev nodded and stood. He walked slowly to the door and turned around just before he opened it. His entire family was there - and more. He smiled and waved good-bye no, not good-bye, but more of an 'until we meet again' sort of wave.
"Gaiev..." he heard Lev called. He turned around. No one else was there as his brother walked towards him, "Tell Alexeyena... tell her that I do too... very much so..."
Gaiev nodded. He then opened the door and had to cover his eyes, because the light was so intense.
He felt a stabbing pain in the gut and then a tube down his throat, helping him breathe. He let his eyes adjust a little to the light, even though it was soft. He heard a constant beeping, and the next thing he was where the brownish eyes of the nurse, who smiled at him kindly, "Hello," she said, "Welcome back. Do you know where you are?" Gaiev nodded. A hospital.
He wanted to speak, but that tube in his mouth wouldn't let him. He had wires and tubes all over his body and didn't quite understood why until the nurse said as she was taking some notes after the doctor had come in and taken out the tube in this throat, checked him over to see if there was anything abnormal and left to tend other patients, "You've been gone for quite a while - 3 weeks... we thought you weren't waking up anymore... but you have a very stubborn boyfriend - very nice too. He's been here, never left your side. Right now he's gone to the cafeteria to drink a cup of coffee. Your sister has been here too - she's home now, resting, but I'm sure she'll be here as soon as we tell her you're awake..."
"Ryo..." he whispered weakly. He wanted to see him before drifting off. He felt so tired and his eyelids where barely kept open. Suddenly, he heard the door swung open and Ryo was there, teary and overwhelmed with joy, holding his hand and stroking his hair, not believing what he was seeing. Gaiev gave him a weak smile and Ryo giggled between the sobs, "That's the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!" he said, and meant it. He leaned over to kiss Gaiev softly on the lips, squeezing his hand and not caring about the nurse being there, or the doctor coming back. Gaiev was awake.
Gaiev was home.
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Notes: I tried to write in Russian, you know, with the little characters n' stuff. It's cool, but it's just too complicated!! So. back to the "normy" translation again, neeeh?
OMG!!! I cried during the making of this chapter! I mean it! I am all puffy eyes and rolling mucus here! I am such a soggy pants!!! T.T
Rati: "squishy plush pony" ¬¬' what kind of sick hallucination is that, you sugar-driven fairy freak?! Rainy: It's fun! You never had a squishy toy? (:0 Rati: Yes, but I usually don't hold it tightly and snuggle against it... ¬¬" Kalavan: Yeah you do! :D Rainy: o____O whaaaaaaa?? Rati: Shut up, feather-boy! ¬¬º Kalavan: Only it's a dildo in the shape of a pony! :9 Rati: I said shut up!!! #.# Rainy: Awww! You two are so cute! ^.^
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: Chapter 22. Well, after the rush of the holiday season, the gifts, the burned turkey, the yams, the cranberry sauce, the cheesy x- mas music (which I love) now it's time to return to the real world. The "real" world. Such a cliché word! Oh well, alas, this chapter is dedicated to my good friend, Monica (AKA Tenshi). Hope you're doing as good as it gets my friend.
Disclaimer: Fake! Belongs to Sanami Matoh and her people. Other characters and plots are my idea. The song is entitled "Almost Home", by Craig Morgan.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------
[...I was walking down an old dirt road Pass a field of hay that had just been mown man, I wish you'd just left me alone I was almost home...]
For the first time in a long time, Gaiev felt complete. He felt safe, warm - he felt loved.
He opened his eyes slowly, as if to savor the moment, the exact moment when he would see the light (the face of God, some might say, others just the beginning of a journey that begins when one dies) but there was no light, only shadows and darkness that wouldn't allow him to see beyond his nose, his hands, his existence. Then, slowly, the darkness began to shape: figures and lights, a warm feeling of belonging...
... He was home...
He was back in his old room, with his posters and plush animals. He was underneath his warm bed covers, with the images of birds on them, his arms wrapped around the big, squishy plush pony he had since he was a kid. He could smell the warm cooking coming from the kitchen, and it was all so heart-warming. He got up. He was wearing his moon, cotton pajamas, and his hair was all messed-up, like it usually was after a nice, long, good-night sleep. He looked outside the window: the snow covered almost all the street, the roofs and some of the cars parked outside. He could see the window of his front neighbor, and like all winter mornings, Mrs. Popo was baking something yummy and was about to place it on her window to cool it off. Mrs. Popo was always kind and gentle, and waved at Gaiev when she spotted him on the window, making Gaiev wave back in slow motions. He came downstairs, almost tripping on the stairway, calling out his mother and father, his brothers, his sisters, and when he turned to the door, he saw the fireplace burning, and someone sitting in the couch in front of the fireplace. He walked slowly towards that person, not recognizing him from the distance.
"Who - Who are..." and the man turned around. Gaiev has this lovely look of a person who wants to recognize himself in the mirror, or worse, a person who has just met his exact double, whom he hates more than ever, "... you"
"Hey," Dee greeted, taking a drag out of his half-finished cigarette. He wore his long black coat and lose scarf, with those sunglasses that made him look like he was just too much for the room, "We were wondering when you where coming down. Heck! He was just about to go and wake you up too..."
"H-He?"
"(Hello, love)"
Gaiev gasped as he turned around. His eyes filled-up with tears and he had to cover his mouth with his hands to restrain a scream as Alexei smiled at him, his bright blue eyes shinning like they never shone before. Gaiev threw himself in to his arms, feeling his heart jump with joy at the sight of him.
"Alexei..." he whispered, his face filled with anguish, "But-but I thought... you're dead! I mean, I saw them... kill you... I saw your body..." but Alexei smiled and stroke his hair with tenderness.
"I know love... I know..."
"And you," he said turning to Dee, "You're dead too... Ryo told me..."
Ryo.
The gangs, the murders, the beatings, the pain. It all came back in a flash. He felt his stomach take a turn for the worse and he had to sit down. Dee moved over next to Gaiev as Alexei took a seat in the sofa's arm, "You can't stay here," he said with a warmness in his voice Gaiev tried to grasp, "You can't stay here - it's not your time. Not yet. You have to go back, Gaiev."
"What?" Gaiev felt his voice tremble.
"You have to go back," Alexei said, massaging Gaiev's shoulders with care, "This is not your place or time. Over there, you have someone who is waiting for you."
"But I - No! I won't! This is my home, my home! You - Alexei..." he sounded desperate, his eyes filling up with tears, "You can't be serious about this. I have nothing to go back to," he said turning to face Dee, "There's nothing more than pain, and coldness, and more pain, even worse than before now that - now that... there's nothing left..."
"What about Ryo?" Alexei asked softly.
Gaiev turned to face Alexei; his eyes where filled with love as he spoke, "He needs you - he loves you even more than he could ever expected. He prays for you, even now as he watches you lying there... he prays..."
He could hear soft voices coming from the roof. "God... I know you're not here, but I know you're listening. Make him better? I beg of you, make him wake up - open his eyes, God, and make him come back. Make this all just a big nightmare to wake up to... Please, make him come home to me? Don't... Don't take him away from me... not yet... please? I never wanted to come to you like this, but please... make him stay... Make him know how much I love him... how much I need him by my side... I can't... I can't take it again, God, please? Please make him open his eyes... those beautiful eyes... and let him hear his voice again..."
It was Ryo...
"Do you love him, Gaiev?" Alexei asked. Gaiev turned to face him, tears rolling down his face.
"Yes..." he whispered. He felt so bad telling his to the *other* man in his life, his beloved Alexei, who gave him a soft smile, "Then you should go to him. Start over, love. Make a life out of what's left. You can always come back home, here..."
"This is home..." Gaiev whispered, looking around. Everything was just as he remembered to be - the fire, the big moose head above the fire, the little tea table in the middle of the room, "I miss home - I miss..." and then he turned to see Alexei again. His mother and father where there, smiling. Sitting on the sofa next to Dee's was his older brother, Yakov, with his wife, Ekaterina and their two children, Luca and Glafira where sitting on the floor, their bright little faces smiling at Gaiev. Next to Dee was Maria, with her flower Sunday dress and her bright white shoes and her curls very nicely over her shoulders. On the couch next to Gaiev was his brother, Innokenty, his arms crossed and looking dashing in his black suit, and kneeling in front of him, taking his hands was his brother Lev, who smiled as widely as he could (as he always did) as Gaiev couldn't help but to burst out in tears, "I MISS YOU ALL!! AND I AM SO, SO SORRY - FOR EVERTHING!! Papa..." he cried turning to his father, "Mama," he looked at his mother, "Please, forgive me..."
"We will never forgive you," his brother Lev said, making Gaiev turn to face him, "Never, ever forgive you - if you let this last chance at life pass you by. Go back, Gaiev, and live - to the fullest you must live! Embrace life as it gives you another chance to enjoy it! Dance with it! Make love to it! Enjoy it in every way possible, in every way you can and love with all your heart and soul, with everything you have, like that day is your last day to do so. And then, in the silent night, you'll pray - let your heart elevate itself towards God, and set your soul free of all misery, for you are loved, more than you'll ever know. We shall we waiting here for this is your home, my brother. And it will always be here."
Dee placed his hand on Gaiev's shoulder, "Go home," he whispered, "You have someone there, waiting for you..."
Gaiev nodded and stood. He walked slowly to the door and turned around just before he opened it. His entire family was there - and more. He smiled and waved good-bye no, not good-bye, but more of an 'until we meet again' sort of wave.
"Gaiev..." he heard Lev called. He turned around. No one else was there as his brother walked towards him, "Tell Alexeyena... tell her that I do too... very much so..."
Gaiev nodded. He then opened the door and had to cover his eyes, because the light was so intense.
He felt a stabbing pain in the gut and then a tube down his throat, helping him breathe. He let his eyes adjust a little to the light, even though it was soft. He heard a constant beeping, and the next thing he was where the brownish eyes of the nurse, who smiled at him kindly, "Hello," she said, "Welcome back. Do you know where you are?" Gaiev nodded. A hospital.
He wanted to speak, but that tube in his mouth wouldn't let him. He had wires and tubes all over his body and didn't quite understood why until the nurse said as she was taking some notes after the doctor had come in and taken out the tube in this throat, checked him over to see if there was anything abnormal and left to tend other patients, "You've been gone for quite a while - 3 weeks... we thought you weren't waking up anymore... but you have a very stubborn boyfriend - very nice too. He's been here, never left your side. Right now he's gone to the cafeteria to drink a cup of coffee. Your sister has been here too - she's home now, resting, but I'm sure she'll be here as soon as we tell her you're awake..."
"Ryo..." he whispered weakly. He wanted to see him before drifting off. He felt so tired and his eyelids where barely kept open. Suddenly, he heard the door swung open and Ryo was there, teary and overwhelmed with joy, holding his hand and stroking his hair, not believing what he was seeing. Gaiev gave him a weak smile and Ryo giggled between the sobs, "That's the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!" he said, and meant it. He leaned over to kiss Gaiev softly on the lips, squeezing his hand and not caring about the nurse being there, or the doctor coming back. Gaiev was awake.
Gaiev was home.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------
Notes: I tried to write in Russian, you know, with the little characters n' stuff. It's cool, but it's just too complicated!! So. back to the "normy" translation again, neeeh?
OMG!!! I cried during the making of this chapter! I mean it! I am all puffy eyes and rolling mucus here! I am such a soggy pants!!! T.T
Rati: "squishy plush pony" ¬¬' what kind of sick hallucination is that, you sugar-driven fairy freak?! Rainy: It's fun! You never had a squishy toy? (:0 Rati: Yes, but I usually don't hold it tightly and snuggle against it... ¬¬" Kalavan: Yeah you do! :D Rainy: o____O whaaaaaaa?? Rati: Shut up, feather-boy! ¬¬º Kalavan: Only it's a dildo in the shape of a pony! :9 Rati: I said shut up!!! #.# Rainy: Awww! You two are so cute! ^.^
DanielBlair_5@hotmail.com