Act One :
Scene Two:
Faramir & Denethor
Cut to a bleak room, barren of any color. There is a young man standing, looking very regal, with light brown wavy hair framing his face, ending at his shoulder. He looks happy yet nervous at the same time. Sitting down is a elderly man, looking very grumpy, with long, stringy gray hair and a sour grimace. The younger man stands behind him, trying to be encouraging.
F: Oh, father! I am so proud of you! Places hands on shoulder, and Denethor flinches
D: Don't touch me!!
F: But father….this is a great day! It is a great day for a wedding!
D: Yes, sadly, the sun is shining so brightly, trying to blind us all! And where's the nice gray clouds to compliment my robes? I had planned on color coordinating myself with the weather!
F: Yes….well, Julie will be happy for it! Woman of Rohan do enjoy their bright, sunny days.
D: Bah, Rohan! If Julie has one fault, it's her native Rohirricness.
F: Oh! Rohirric woman aren't so bad, father! Especially Julie, she is much more, um, feminine, than some other…Rohirric….women.
D: You're talking about your frontier butch fricken girlfriend, huh???
F: Now, father, my wife is not butch!! She just…happens…to, um, enjoy sword play….and horses…
D: Faramir, your wife was fighting the Witch King, the most evilest of all evil creatures, while you were lolling around in the Houses of Healing!
F: You had set me on fire! I had third degree burns on 78% of my body!
D: Always complaining! So, I had a little mental breakdown, does that mean that I should feel guilty for trying to kill you for the rest of my life?!?!
F: (obviously exasperated) Alright, father, let us just get you ready for your wedding.
D: Fine, Faramir, go see if your Mummy is ready.
F: (clearly confused) Father…Mother has been dead for thirty years.
D: Oh! Silly Faramir, not that Mummy! Your new Mummy!
F: Father, I am not calling Julie 'Mummy'.
D: Oh, yes, Faramir, I believe you will.
F: Father, she is twenty years younger than me!! I could be her father.
D: Oh, silly boy, Julie loves you so much! It would hurt her so if you did not call her 'Mummy'.
F: Father, I know she loves me! I woke up and she was standing over me, and starting at me! It was….terrifying!
D: But she wants to be your mummy!
F: No she doesn't! Mummy's shouldn't want to sleep with their children!
D: Well… (desperately trying to think of an excuse) ....maybe she just wanted to tuck you in! Like all good mummies should!
F: Father, she is clearly not of the highest class!
D: Don't you dare talk about my Julie-poo like that! I LOVE HER!
F: You are right, Father, I apologize. Its just that…well, there have been some stories about Julie.
D: Stories? I have heard no stories…
F: Well, Father, they are not good stories.
D: Did you hear these stories from your manic wife?!?! I told you never to trust a Rohirric!!
F: Father…you're marrying a Rohirric.
D: Oh..No, no, I meant…Rohirric…Um, I meant never trust Rohirric royalty! Yes, yes, royalty. Those sheildmaidens are nothing but scandalous trouble!
F: (getting very angry) The only rumors circulating about Eowyn is that she saved the free world from DOOM.
D: Yes… and the only rumors about my dear Julie is that she may have at an itty-bitty thing with the King. Big deal! Who hasn't?
Bells ring from outside, and a crowd is clearly gathering in a neighboring hall.
F: just giving up, Alright, Father, come, your bride awaits you.
They get up and leave, Faramir in the back, and walk to the great hall, filled with the peoples of both Rohan and Gondor alike.
Cut to reception afterwards.