Kaibas Don't Dance
A short humor bit by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Today was, without a doubt, the worst day that Seto Kaiba had ever known.
His employees, if it were even possible, were becoming more ornery and incompetent by the second, he was losing money, and the media seemed to enjoy hopping on his ass every two minutes or so.
Was everyone in the world playing an awful game of "Let's Annoy Kaiba"? Was that it?
He threw himself out of the limo and slammed the door audibly as a warning to everyone who worked in his home to steer clear for a few hours. They, unlike certain people Kaiba knew, were not incompetent, and read the signs clearly.
Only one thing could ever make him cheer up in the slightest: seeing his little brother, Mokuba. He was the only person on the face of the planet that wasn't intent on sucking him clean of his money.
He stormed up the stairs, hands stuffed in his pockets and a large black cloud hanging over his head. "Lousystinkinghateworld..." he grumbled to himself as he made his way down the hall to greet Mokuba with his grumpy self.
He knocked lightly on the door and waited. No answer. "Mokuba?" He rapped smartly and listened for a response.
He only heard music and someone stomping around. "Mokuba?" Still no answer. Kaiba opened the door and his jaw dropped to the floor.
"Mokuba!" he cried, shocked. "What do you think you're doing?"
His little brother stopped midstep. "Er...hi, big brother!" He grinned widely, hoping that pure cuteness would ebb the shock away. Failure.
"I said," Kaiba spoke shakily, "what are you doing?"
"Dancing, big brother..." He walked tentatively to his stereo and switched it off. Sean Paul and the Black Eyed Peas would not make his older brother feel any better.
"Are you kidding, Mokuba?" Kaiba shrieked. "You don't dance! People like Jounouchi dance! People like Otogi dance! For God's sake, people like ANZU dance!" He took a deep breath. "Have you lost your good sense, Mokuba? Did you hear me say, 'People like Anzu dance'?!"
Mokuba flushed and began to sweat nervously. "Big brother...it's not that big of a deal. Everybody dances..."
"No, Mokuba!" Kaiba's arms were whirling about dangerously. "Everybody who is a fool and a geek dances! I know you're not some sort of baka, don't prove me wrong!"
"I think you're overreacting, Seto..."
Kaiba's eyes looked much like saucers. "It is impossible to overreact in this situation! You are dancing, Mokuba! There can be no worse crime!"
Mokuba thought quickly. "If I TEACH you how to dance, will you get over this?"
Kaiba was greatly offended. "Teach me? Why would you do such a thing? Kaibas don't dance!"
"Oh come on. Be a little open-minded."
"I will not."
Mokuba grabbed Kaiba's slender hand and served up the puppy-dog eyes attack. "Pleeeeeaaase, big brother?"
It will never matter how set Kaiba is in his ways, Mokuba's puppy-dog eyes will always serve as an effective form of kryptonite. "Fine," he grumbled as Mokuba pulled him into his room. "Lousystinkinghatedancing..." The door slammed behind him ominously.
Mokuba bent over the stereo. "Let's start with something simple." He pressed play.
Kaiba's face contorted into an expression of disgust. "The hell is this, Mokuba?"
"It's the Black Eyed Peas! Their new album, Elephunk!" He smiled widely once again.
"This is how you've been spending Kaiba Corp's money? On crap like this?"
"Oh please, Seto." Mokuba's hips swayed to the octaves. "Hey mama, this that beat that makes you move mama, get on the floor and shake your ass mama --"
"Make this quick."
"Okay," Mokuba started patiently. "Put one foot out --"
"What is this, the goddamn Hokey Pokey?"
"Just do it."
Kaiba obeyed. "I look like a damn fool, Mokuba..."
"Shush. Now, sway from side to side," the little boy commanded.
Kaiba's jaw dropped for the second time that day. "You're shitting me."
"I shit you not, Seto."
"You want me to SWAY?"
"If you just let yourself feel the music, it wouldn't be such an issue. Dancing is easy."
The older boy's eyebrows raised to the heavens. "Feel the music? What kind of stupid man propaganda is that?"
"Just do it, Seto."
Once again, Kaiba obeyed.
Mokuba stepped back to observe his work, and saw a tall, skinny, graceless boy moving his hips like an idiot. His arms were too long, his waist too small, his face too screwed up in concentration, his coat too ugly.
"This is going to take a lot of work," Mokuba muttered to himself.
END.
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Hm. I do believe that was cutely funny. Eh, whatever. Review, if you don't mind.
A short humor bit by Heavens to Bikini Kill
-------
Today was, without a doubt, the worst day that Seto Kaiba had ever known.
His employees, if it were even possible, were becoming more ornery and incompetent by the second, he was losing money, and the media seemed to enjoy hopping on his ass every two minutes or so.
Was everyone in the world playing an awful game of "Let's Annoy Kaiba"? Was that it?
He threw himself out of the limo and slammed the door audibly as a warning to everyone who worked in his home to steer clear for a few hours. They, unlike certain people Kaiba knew, were not incompetent, and read the signs clearly.
Only one thing could ever make him cheer up in the slightest: seeing his little brother, Mokuba. He was the only person on the face of the planet that wasn't intent on sucking him clean of his money.
He stormed up the stairs, hands stuffed in his pockets and a large black cloud hanging over his head. "Lousystinkinghateworld..." he grumbled to himself as he made his way down the hall to greet Mokuba with his grumpy self.
He knocked lightly on the door and waited. No answer. "Mokuba?" He rapped smartly and listened for a response.
He only heard music and someone stomping around. "Mokuba?" Still no answer. Kaiba opened the door and his jaw dropped to the floor.
"Mokuba!" he cried, shocked. "What do you think you're doing?"
His little brother stopped midstep. "Er...hi, big brother!" He grinned widely, hoping that pure cuteness would ebb the shock away. Failure.
"I said," Kaiba spoke shakily, "what are you doing?"
"Dancing, big brother..." He walked tentatively to his stereo and switched it off. Sean Paul and the Black Eyed Peas would not make his older brother feel any better.
"Are you kidding, Mokuba?" Kaiba shrieked. "You don't dance! People like Jounouchi dance! People like Otogi dance! For God's sake, people like ANZU dance!" He took a deep breath. "Have you lost your good sense, Mokuba? Did you hear me say, 'People like Anzu dance'?!"
Mokuba flushed and began to sweat nervously. "Big brother...it's not that big of a deal. Everybody dances..."
"No, Mokuba!" Kaiba's arms were whirling about dangerously. "Everybody who is a fool and a geek dances! I know you're not some sort of baka, don't prove me wrong!"
"I think you're overreacting, Seto..."
Kaiba's eyes looked much like saucers. "It is impossible to overreact in this situation! You are dancing, Mokuba! There can be no worse crime!"
Mokuba thought quickly. "If I TEACH you how to dance, will you get over this?"
Kaiba was greatly offended. "Teach me? Why would you do such a thing? Kaibas don't dance!"
"Oh come on. Be a little open-minded."
"I will not."
Mokuba grabbed Kaiba's slender hand and served up the puppy-dog eyes attack. "Pleeeeeaaase, big brother?"
It will never matter how set Kaiba is in his ways, Mokuba's puppy-dog eyes will always serve as an effective form of kryptonite. "Fine," he grumbled as Mokuba pulled him into his room. "Lousystinkinghatedancing..." The door slammed behind him ominously.
Mokuba bent over the stereo. "Let's start with something simple." He pressed play.
Kaiba's face contorted into an expression of disgust. "The hell is this, Mokuba?"
"It's the Black Eyed Peas! Their new album, Elephunk!" He smiled widely once again.
"This is how you've been spending Kaiba Corp's money? On crap like this?"
"Oh please, Seto." Mokuba's hips swayed to the octaves. "Hey mama, this that beat that makes you move mama, get on the floor and shake your ass mama --"
"Make this quick."
"Okay," Mokuba started patiently. "Put one foot out --"
"What is this, the goddamn Hokey Pokey?"
"Just do it."
Kaiba obeyed. "I look like a damn fool, Mokuba..."
"Shush. Now, sway from side to side," the little boy commanded.
Kaiba's jaw dropped for the second time that day. "You're shitting me."
"I shit you not, Seto."
"You want me to SWAY?"
"If you just let yourself feel the music, it wouldn't be such an issue. Dancing is easy."
The older boy's eyebrows raised to the heavens. "Feel the music? What kind of stupid man propaganda is that?"
"Just do it, Seto."
Once again, Kaiba obeyed.
Mokuba stepped back to observe his work, and saw a tall, skinny, graceless boy moving his hips like an idiot. His arms were too long, his waist too small, his face too screwed up in concentration, his coat too ugly.
"This is going to take a lot of work," Mokuba muttered to himself.
END.
-------------
Hm. I do believe that was cutely funny. Eh, whatever. Review, if you don't mind.