DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Tailed

I cannot believe she's at it again. One would have thought that that stupid House Elf nonsense would have seen the end of her meddling. But no, she has to butt into my fun now and enough is enough.

I've started to enlist some help and between the three of us, I dare say we'll have a few good ideas. Now all I have to do is find a way out of the dormitory and it's all plain sailing from there.

We are, the three of us, the most unlikely of allies. I still don't trust the others - it's an old distrust, born of being bested time and again, but if this new venture of hers is accepted, then it's the end of my fun and i really can't have that.

I won't put up with it!

I know I sound petulant and spoilt, but it comes with the territory. I know I have my faults, but they're my faults and I'm quite happy to have my every need pampered, but when someone seeks to stop my sport...well, enough said.

The others are in complete agreement with me and we held our last meeting in the kitchens, where we quite happily mixed business with pleasure.

No one will be safe if this gets put through the castle and I refuse to be a laughing stock from the Slytherin coterie. I'm very wary of traversing the dungeons now, but 'she who must be obeyed' seems to quite often have business with Snape...and she doesn't look unhappy either.

Now I really have to find the others. I have an idea of how to stop this ludicrous proposal and it all hinges on the twin tenets of guilt and blackmail.

If I could work out how to spring my trap, well, let's just say that she flushes at the slightest thing and I'd just need to drag, err...convince the others that we need to ensure that the dungeons are watched.

I think I can manage to create some sort of diversion and while it all comes together and we three wait it out, there is always the chance to practice our sporting endeavours in an alien and relatively untouched territory.

I must say, I'm rather looking forward to the concept of catching her in her own sort of 'sport' and she'll rue the day she tried to dictate to me.

Perhaps I can get Filch to catch the pair of them. The news would be all over the castle in three seconds flat.

Oh yes, this is getting more delicious by the minute.

I must away, for the spell cast to give me an understanding of human speech will shortly go and I can't dawdle. I have to find the boy's owl and that mangy old stray...and then we can plan.

Yes...plan and scheme and if all goes well, catch some fat, juicy mice who just wandered into the wrong corridor at the wrong time.

She really has misjudged me, but that's to my advantage, and I am after all a cat who has always planned my own care.

Later...

Oh that was just too delicious! Caught red-handed and very red faced the pair of them. I didn't know one could study potions from a horizontal position and I dare say Filch will have already spread the news. Hedwig said she'd tell the boy and all the school owls. Now it's my turn to tell all the other cats. Mrs Norris and I split the last mouse on who would be forced to tell the Slytherins that Snape and my human mistress were conducting their own independent 'research study'.

I must go and suck up to Fawkes. He is the second biggest gossip in the castle and he'll tell me every revolting detail.

I can't wait!

AUTHOR NOTE: Yes it's SS/HG finally you all shout. This was originally written for LeoGryffin's LJ Community 30 Minute Fics.