Chapter 8: Finding Faith
Grace carefully reached over and grasped the bedside table, pushing herself upright. The mansion had been quiet for a long time, and Kurt hadn't come to see her. She wanted to talk to him.
Maybe he was downstairs, conducting the service that he had told her about. Would it really hurt to go to this one? Kurt was nice, he'd already said she could come, and maybe she should get to see what his God said. Father Borden's God was cruel; she didn't like his God. Maybe Kurt's would be better.
She stood carefully, surprised at the way her legs shook. She took a few tentative steps around her room, stretching the muscles in her legs until she felt steady on them, then went and opened the door.
She emerged into a long hallway that was completely empty and silent. Her room seemed to be close to the end of it; the long part of the hall stretched out toward the right. She took a look at the hallway, and back at the bed in the room. Maybe she should stay here? She paused, undecided, but the sound and feel of her stomach growling gave her an answer. If anything, she could find Kurt and ask him if she might be able to get something to eat.
She walked down the hallway to the left of her room, looking for a stairway or something that would show her how to get down. She'd already seen that she was on the second floor from her room window; now how did she get down?
She reached the end of the hallway without finding a stairway, and turned around and went back. This time, she continued going past her door, and down toward the long end. She was probably about at the middle of the hall when she came on a door marked 'elevator', and one marked 'stairs'.
She figured that the elevator must be for Charles, who had that wheelchair. Unsure if she was allowed to take it as well, she decided to play it safe and opened the door marked stairs. There was a flight going up, and one going down. She chose the down set.
She emerged from the stair and closed the door. She was in the middle of the intersection of two hallways. One went from left to right. One went straight out in front of her. The one in front of her was shorter. She was standing, unsure of where she was, when a door opened at the end of the hall and the man in the wheelchair came out. Only he wasn't in a wheelchair, he was in something that hovered over the floor. She had never seen anything like it…but then, this house was full of things she'd never seen before, things they hadn't had at the compound that she'd only read about, like elevators and IV's and radios that played music from little silver discs.
Come on over, Grace. Don't be shy. This is your home as well, for as long as you wish to remain here. You may go wherever you like. After a moment she realized that she wasn't hearing the voice in her ears, she was hearing it in her head. She haltingly took the walk over to where Charles was.
"You can talk in my head too?" she asked shyly. She was still shy around anyone other than Kurt.
"Yes," Charles answered her vocally. "I'm what is called a telepath."
"There was an older girl at the compound who could do that too," Grace said. "But she told all of us not to tell anyone, or she'd get into trouble. When we'd start getting older, some us found we could do funny things, like talk in each others' heads, or move things just by thinking about them, and stuff like that. We tried to keep it a secret from the Elders. I was the only one that got caught, and that was because my eyes changed color."
"The children of your compound were pretty lucky." Charles said softly, thoughtfully. "It sounds like most of their mutations were psychic, and not physical. Yours just happened to be both. I'm truly sorry." He turned and held the door of the room open for her to walk in.
She walked in the room a few steps, and stopped. There were two rows of chairs set up facing the front of the room, and a wide aisle vivisected the rows. At the front of the room, over a raised platform, hung a large crucifix with the image of Christ on it. The small white table under it served as the altar; it was covered with a white cloth. There were two small steps between the platform and the floor.
She looked at it, wondering. "What's this?" she asked Charles, spreading her arms wide.
"This is our chapel," Charles said. "We come here to pray to God. It's a sanctuary for us to meditate, calm our thoughts, and talk to the Lord. Kurt usually holds Sunday services here."
'Where is he?" Grace turned to Charles.
Xavier sighed. "Grace, I don't know if you've ever heard of us before. We're the X-Men." When that produced nothing but a blank look, Xavier indicated a chair. 'Sit down." He gathered his thoughts. "There are people out there, both mutant and human, who believe that we can't live together peacefully, that one must become dominant over the other. I don't believe that. I believe that peace is possible, that harmonious coexistence is possible.
"But not everyone believes in peace. Not everyone believes that it is possible, or even desirable, for both our peoples to live peacefully. An old friend of mine spearheads the 'mutant superiority' movement, and many follow his precepts. They strive constantly to start a war between mutants and humans, a war that I believe would end with the destruction of everyone on this planet. So I went out and found a group of mutants who believe in the dream of peace between both, and called them my X-Men, and based them here. When enemies threaten to destabilize the peace currently in place, my X-Men go out to fight them."
She stared at him. "But humans don't like mutants. Why should we care whether they live in peace with us?"
'Because it's wrong," Xavier said patiently. "Sometimes I wonder if this is right, whether I have the right to ask my X-Men to risk their lives for a world that doesn't really want or care about us. And I always get back to the same answer; because it's right. It's not right for mutants to claim superiority over humans; it's also not right for mutants to claim superiority over humans. And my X-Men believe this. Kurt believes it. And that's why they went out this morning to fight the giant mechanical robots, called Sentinels, that the humans built to hunt down, track, and kill mutants. Because they were pursuing an innocent this morning, a mother and a child, and that is not right."
"That's where Kurt is? That's why I haven't seen him?" Xavier nodded. Grace thought for a moment. "Will the robots hurt them?"
"They train for this constantly," Charles said, "And they look out for each other as well as the innocents. The Sentinels will try, but I doubt very much that they will be able to win out over my X-Men." He sobered. "But they are not invulnerable. That's why, when they go out like this, I come here to pray for their safe return. I have lost too many of them over the years; I never want to lose another of 'my children' to another enemy. But they believe in the dream too, they believe that subjugating another human being is wrong, and they are willing to risk their lives to keep that from happening. So I wait, and hope, and pray."
Grace sat there for a moment, thinking about it. Then she said, "Did Kurt bring me here to make me join your X-Men?"
Xavier shook his head. "We will never 'make' you join, Grace. It is your decision. You must make it for yourself. But Kurt brought you here because your life was in danger, and you needed help. My doors are always open to any mutant who needs help." He looked at her. "And because Kurt cares for you, deeply. He was frantic when Jean and Hank told him you were dead. He refused to leave, he refused to let go. He knelt beside your bed and prayed God to spare your life. And He did. I think God still has something He wants you to do, some plan for your life, some destiny for you to fulfill that you have not yet discovered. If it had been time for you to go, He would not have returned you to your body. I think you should think about that, think about what may be left unfinished that you, and only you, can do."
Grace whispered, 'I know. Kurt told me. But I am afraid."
Xavier looked up at the crucifix, at the figure of Christ on the cross. "Grace, do you see that figure on the cross? Look up. You need not bow your head in here. Look at Him." Grace slowly lifted her eyes. "This is Jesus Christ, God's son. He died on that cross for the sins of man. Don't you think He was afraid to submit to the Romans, afraid to be placed on that cross? Yet God commanded him to, this was what He had been born to do, this was His destiny. He did it because He had to fulfill prophecy, and in so doing save mankind. It wasn't easy. You can read in the Bible what He went through before He died. If Jesus could do it, shouldn't you?"
Grace looked at the figure. "Yes," she breathed. She looked at Charles. "Kurt wants me to go to the courthouse, to testify against Father Borden and the other Elders. Some of what he did to me, what they did to me, only I know about because they did it out of sight of everyone. Only I can tell everyone what really happened, and force them to face justice."
Xavier smiled gently. 'I understand your fear. You do not wish to see them again; you don't want them to know you survived. But if the evidence against them by these other survivors is insufficient, Father Borden might become free to do this again to another helpless child, another set of misguided followers. And you don't want that."
"No." Grace sat quietly. "No, I don't want that."
There was a sudden high-pitched whine from outside the window, and Xavier looked up. 'They're back." As if on cue, a voice filled his head. Charles?
I'm here, Jean.
Jean sounded exhausted. We've got some injuries. Remy was hurt; Scott's got a burn on his arm. Kurt… she paused wearily. Kurt was knocked unconscious when a wall the Sentinel knocked over fell on him. He hasn't woken up, and there's an awful lot of blood. I'm too tired, I can't reach him. Can you come and try?
I'll be right there. Xavier broke the telepathic link and turned to Grace. "Kurt was injured. He's still unconscious. Will you accompany me…"
"Kurt…" the blood drained from Grace's face, and without another word she hurried out the door, Xavier close behind.
The scene inside the medlabs was chaotic. Jean was bandaging Scott's arm as Scott lay exhausted on a biobed. Beside him, Remy was trying to suppress his cries of pain as Ororo and Rogue cut away his bloody pant leg to clean and bandage the gash on his thigh.
Hank was bent over Kurt, who lay still on the bed. He was almost covered in blood, and his eyes were closed. He wasn't moving. There were already tubes attached to various parts of him; Hank was trying to wipe his forehead clear of blood so he could examine the bleeding gash. Grace gasped at the sight of all that blood.
Hank saw her. Not skipping a beat, he shoved a clean rag in her hand and said, "Here. Try to clean him up while I look at this." He turned to Xavier. "Possible skull fracture, concussion certainly. He's slipping into a coma; Jean couldn't reach him. See if you can." Xavier said nothing, just closed his eyes and reached out to touch Kurt's hand.
Grace kept trying to clean off the blood. There was so much of it! She kept one eye on Hank, watching as the big, furry blue doctor bustled about, attaching even more machines to Kurt's skin and cutting away the rest of Kurt's clothing with special scissors. Grace helped him pull off the shreds of his clothing and cover him with a blanket. "His skin is cold," she whispered. "That's not good, is it?"
"He's going into shock. Help me cover him." Grace pulled the blanket up over Kurt's body and continued to try and clean him up.
Xavier sat back in his chair. "I can't reach him, Hank." He looked drained and worried.
Hank faltered.
Grace looked wildly at Xavier, and at Hank. "No! Please, you can't stop, you have to try, you can't just leave him, forget about him…please!" Xavier bit his lip. He hadn't seen anything but a soft, dark fog in Kurt's mind, growing darker by the minute. Head wounds were tricky things; this could be fatal. His heart cried out in anguish at the thought of losing another of his X-Men.
Grace leaned over the bed. 'Kurt, please…it's Grace. You can't leave me, please…Come back! I need you! Kurt, please!" But his eyes didn't open. Grace bent over his body, her hands grasping his, and cried desperately, "Please! Oh, God, please give him back! I can't do this without him! Please!" She began to sob, her forehead on the blanket covering his chest. 'Please, oh God, please give him back, I need him, I can't go testify without him, I'm not strong enough…God, please, I'll do anything, just give him back…"
She couldn't see it, but Xavier felt Kurt's mind become awash with bright light. When it faded, the flicker of light that was Kurt's soul was again firmly inside. He raised one hand, limply, and laid it on Grace's brown hair. "Grace…"
"Kurt?…" She looked up, eyes streaming with tears, and saw his eyes open and he was smiling at her. "Kurt! Oh, God, you're back, you're safe, oh, thank God for giving you back…" and she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him frantically as he tried to clumsily hug her too. Hank bustled around, muttering to himself and checking monitors, then he took Grace's arm gently and said, "Please, my dear. He needs to rest. You can come and see him later." Grace stepped back from the table, her eyes never leaving Kurt's, and then she turned and left the room.
After the fuss had died down, and Xavier saw Scott and Remy resting in their rooms, he went looking for Grace. She wasn't in her room. He didn't have to psychically sweep the mansion to know where she was; she was in the chapel.
When he entered, he saw Rogue kneeling at the altar beside Grace. She had lit a candle in thankfulness that they had made it and Remy was alive (wounded but alive) and Grace was similarly relieved. Rogue had to explain what the candles were for as she lit them, and then she knelt before the altar and began to pray. The words were all new to Grace, but as she knelt beside Rogue and repeated the words, a feeling of peace crept over her and she knew Kurt would be all right. The Presence that touched her mind reassured her as it calmed her, and she suddenly felt better than she ever had in her life.
Xavier saw the change on her face and smiled. She had found her faith again. Silently thanking God for the miracle, he turned his hoverchair and left the chapel without disturbing the two women at the altar.