"SHUT THAT THING UP!!!" one of her three roommates shouted as the loud alarm blared through the room, probably waking up the people above, below, and on both sides as well. Vivi herself rolled over and tried to cover her head with a pillow. She wasn't ready to pull herself up yet. Her bed was warm and comfortable and she knew good and well that the room would be beyond cold when she threw back her quilt.
She heard a hand hitting one of the tables and knew that Kira was searching for the alarm. Finally, the room was plunged into silence. "Thank God...." she mumbled to herself, then groaned, stretching. She knew she needed to get up. "What time is it?" she asked groggily, pulling her head from under the pillow.
"Four thirty am. We have half an hour to get to the gym for practice. I hate damn morning practices. They're evil....." Maddie mumbled, half asleep. Vivi heard her throw the covers off and plod across the room.
"Coach is a sadist," Lianne yawned, propping herself up on her elbow. Her eyes fluttered a bit and then closed, her arm slipping, and she fell back to her bed.
"Yeah, well. It'll be over in a month. Just think about that. It'll be over in a month." Vivi pulled herself from sleep and carefully climbed down from her loft.
"No, cause then they'll just be pushing us towards Nationals...." Maddie complained. Vivi shrugged as she grabbed her caddy and headed towards the showers to clean up somewhat before they headed to the gym.
The hallways were silent, except for the occasional groans from the other side of a door. Many of the female athletes for the school lived in this building, and therefore, many had to get up early for practices. Vivi made it to the shower and looked in the mirror. She sighed.
She looked pretty rough. Gabe had really worked one over on her the night before. Her shoulder was almost completely black and she had a nice red welt on her cheek, faintly bruised. Her side hurt incredibly and her ankle was still sore, but she could walk on it. Thank God. Coach would kill her if she hurt something bad enough to keep her from practicing or competing. She sighed and pulled on her flannel to cover the bruise, then brushed her long brown hair out of her face. She knew she was exhausted and she looked it.
"Get in a fight last night, hun?" one of the girls from the hall, a senior captain on the team, asked, coming to the sink beside her. Vivi forced a weak laugh and a smile.
"Nah. Just knocked into the edge of my bunk. The girls were asleep when I came in and I didn't want to wake them. You know me, Leslie, I'm a klutz," Vivi smiled, put away her toothbrush and wash cloth and headed back to her room to change, grab her dance bag, and head out for practice.
"You should be more careful, hun. That accident's gonna hurt you real bad someday...." Leslie called back towards her, shaking her head. Vivi just tried to keep going as if she'd never heard.
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"Girls......I can't tell you how wonderful you are all doing. If you keep this up, you will have no problem clenching this title again. Now I know you are all tired, so go get yourselves showered off and get your little butts ready for school...." Kathy, the dance team's coach, shooed the girls to the locker rooms. Vivi collapsed on one of the benches, trying to get the tangles out of her hair.
"Slave driver......." Maddie sighed, lowering herself beside Vivi. Kira lay down on the bench across from them, closing her eyes.
"No sleeping, Kira, hun. We've got class. Come on girls, it's not that bad. We only have a month left to Regionals, then we have three months to get ready for Nationals. And if we can defend this title for one more year, we'll break the standing record. So come on, buck up. Let's hit the showers. You'll feel better after standing under some hot water." Leslie pulled Kira off the bench and all the girls started heading towards the twenty shower stalls lining the walls.
"Hey, Vivi, is there a hockey game tonight?" Angie, one of the senior lieutenants called from her shower. All the girls tended to talk through the getting dressed process. It kept them awake.
"Ducks play at four; Varsity is scheduled for seven thirty. Then I get to go home and do homework and work on scenes for Drama. Then I get to wake up at four thirty tomorrow morning and do it all over again tomorrow, except with play practice instead of cheering at a game...." Vivi laughed. She was used to her hectic schedule, and she actually liked it that way.
"Vivi, your schedule is crazy! I don't know how you find time to do it. And how do you manage to find time to see little mister hotshot Gabe among all that?"
"Little mister hotshot is right. Did you hear him yesterday at lunch? God he was being arrogant."
"I don't see what you see in him Vivi. He's a little jerk..." Vivi closed her eyes and tuned the girls out as she pulled on her jeans then stood in front of the mirror to try and finish getting ready. She knew a lot of people didn't necessarily like her boyfriend, but she loved him and he loved her. At least she was pretty sure he did. She saw a different side of him than most people did. He was really a good guy.....really.....deep down, underneath all the muscles and brawn and Mr. Hotshot attitude, he was a good guy. He really was.
"Vivi.....Earth to Vivian...." Maddie waved a hand in front of her face. "You awake, girl?"
"Yeah. I was just thinking...." she turned and smiled at her friend. "Come on, let's get to class." She grabbed her bag and the two followed the rest of the team towards the school.
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"Hey, Vivi! Wait up!" someone called down the hall as Vivi headed away from her locker. She turned to see Belle, one of the two other girls on the dance team that was also on the cheerleading team with her. She stopped and waited for her to catch up. "So, what'd you think of that stupid paper project in Godsby's class?"
"I dunno. Joint papers? I only see it causing problems. Who did she pair you with?" the girls headed towards the gym to change before the hockey game.
"I got paired with Dulcie. We're supposed to do our paper on either The Poisonwood Bible or Things Fall Apart. What about you?"
"I was hoping to get paired with Maddie, but apparently Ms. Godsby isn't doing cross class projects. I just can't fathom why it wouldn't be a good idea..." the girls laughed, rolling their eyes.
"She's paranoid."
"I know. But anyway, I get paired with Dean Portman. We're supposed to do either The Taming of the Shrew, As You Like It,or The Merchant of Venice. She wants us to write about the feminist stance or something like that. I just know it's going to be Hell."
"You got paired with that big oaf? I'm sorry honey. I don't know him all that well, but I don't really think I want to either. Doesn't seem like he'd be much of a student....."
"That's what I'm worried about. I really don't wanna write a twenty page research paper by myself. He had to run to meet someone named Cowboy or something like that after class, so he said he'd come find me after the game. Guess we'll see if he makes good. Hey, maybe he'll surprise me."
"Yeah, and maybe Coach will cancel practice tomorrow. Fat chance." Belle laughed. Vivi just shook her head.
"You're a cynic. I'm at least gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess we'll find out tonight," she shrugged as they reached the locker rooms and slipped inside with the rest of the cheerleaders to get ready for the games.
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"Dean! I'm over here...." Vivi called, seeing Portman scanning the crowd between the games. She sat with Maddie, Belle, Lianne, Kira, and Leslie, talking and waiting for the Varsity game. She saw him spot her and come bounding over.
"Good game, Portman..." Kira smiled at him. She was a little boy crazy, and liked to flirt with just about any athlete.
"Thanks. Hey, it's Vivian, right?" he plopped down on the bench below them.
"Yeah. But people call me Vivi. So, what do you want to do about this paper?"
"Well, I haven't ever read the books. Don't read the old dead guy's works very much. I heard from someone that you liked him, so I guess I'll let you pick the book," he shrugged. "Hey, Cowboy, Fulton and a couple of the other guys were gonna go get some pizza and I wanted to go with. So if it's okay with you, since you gotta cheer the losers on anyway," he flashed his signature grin at the girls, "why don't we just talk about this after their game. How's nine sound to you?"
"Sure. You want to meet in the library?"
"Nah, s'too quiet. Can't work in stuffy places like that. Just come up to our dorm. Birchwood, 416. Cowboy and Fulton'll be there, but they won't cause any problems."
"Okay. I'll let you know if the game runs late. What's the number?"
"Portman – you coming?" one of the other JV players called from close to the door to the stands.
"Be there in a sec!" he called up and turned back to Vivi. "6-4937. See ya later, chicks..." he flashed the grin again, then bounded up the bleachers and out to go get his pizza.
"That should be interesting....." Belle said, looking sideways at Vivi.
"I think that's the mildest way of putting it......" Vivi sighed as the captains of the cheerleading squad called them all down and the Varsity game got underway.
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"Thanks......" Vivi smiled as someone coming out of Birchwood held the door open for her as she climbed the stairs. That way she didn't have to call up to the room. The game had gotten over just before nine, so she had run over. She was still in her cheering uniform, and felt extremely self conscious as she walked through the halls of the guys' dorm. She just hoped she didn't run into Gabe. He probably wouldn't believe why she was here and he definitely wouldn't be happy with her.
She reached the dorm room and knocked on the door, but she could barely hear it because of the music blasting on the other side. She was pretty sure they couldn't hear her. She knocked again and there was still no answer, so she turned the knob and cracked the door open a bit. "Dean?" she asked, sticking her head in slowly. She saw two guys, one sitting at his desk, typing something on his computer, the other laying on his bed reading. But neither of them was Dean.
"Oh, hey. He ran out real quick to get some soda and chips, cause we were out, but he said to tell you to come right on it. I'm assuming you're Vivi. I mean, you aren't some other random girl just happening to wander into our dorm room are you?"
"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yeah, I'm Vivi. I'm here to work on our English project." she said, coming in and sitting on the couch the boy had pointed to. The one at his desk looked up.
"Godsby's English term paper? The assignment from Hell?" he asked. Vivi smiled. He had a Southern accent.
"Yeah."
"What books do you get to choose from? I get to do either Hamlet or Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. My partner and I can't seem to agree. She wants to do Hamlet, I think it'd be really cool to do an in depth study of R & G. But hey, I guess we'll see. I'm Dwayne by the way." He held out his hand.
"But you should call him Cowboy. That's what everyone else calls him. I'm Fulton. Oh, and I wouldn't call Portman 'Dean'. He doesn't like it too much. Call him Portman...." he grinned. "He won't beat you up, since you're a girl, but he won't be happy with you either."
"I'll remember that. Who did you get paired with?"
"Don't have her. I was lucky enough to get Harston." Fulton grinned smugly.
"Lucky brat. Well, know how grateful you should be. Godsby's a good teacher, but good God, is she a slave driver."
"She sure is. I hate the bitch....." Portman grinned broadly as he pushed through the door, throwing a soda to Fulton and one to Dwayne. "Want one, chicka?" Vivi shook her head.
"Thanks though."
"Suit yourself...." he shrugged, plopping on the other end of the couch. "So I see you've met my roomies, Fulton and the Cowboy, so I don't have to do all those dumb introduction things. Hey, how'd the big boys' game go?"
"They lost in overtime. 5-4. Coach wasn't too happy and Riley and the boys even less so..." she sighed. She hated when the Varsity team lost. Gabe was in worse form than usual then.
"I can imagine. Those boys are sore losers......." Dwayne shook his head. Vivi grinned.
"Okay, so did you decide which book you want to do?"
"Well, I was thinking. You are going to have to read the book, whether you like it or not..."
"I know......." Portman groaned out loud.
"He hates reading....." Fulton teased and Portman threw some chips at him.
"So, would you rather read about a bitchy girl who doesn't like men, two love sick cousins who dress up like men, or an old court case with violence, romance, and everything in between...."
"Well.....when you put it like that.....I'd have to say the last one."
"Okay. Merchant of Venice it is then...." Vivi grinned, pulling two copies out of her bag and handing one to Portman. "I hope it's okay with you that I kind of assumed you wouldn't have bought a copy yet...." Portman smiled sheepishly.
"Nah, hadn't bought one. So if I can just borrow your extra, it would be great....."
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"Okay, tomorrow at seven – I'll be out of rehearsal by then for sure. Meet here again?" Vivi asked, gathering her things.
"Yeah. And if you don't mind, we'll probably have food. That's about dinner time for us. Pizza okay with you?"
"If you have extra, I'll probably down some. I tend to be very hungry after rehearsals," she grinned, then looked over his shoulder to the boys in the room. "Bye, Fulton, Dwayne. It was nice meeting you....See you in class, Portman..." she smiled, throwing her bag over her shoulder and heading down the stairs and out the door, towards her own dorm. Maddie, Lianne, and Kira knew she would be late, but it was almost eleven thirty, and she had a bit of homework left, so she hurried across the quads. She slowed as she neared her dorm, seeing a familiar form on the steps. 'God....' she thought to herself, 'I don't have time for this tonight.....'
"What were you doing in Birchwood?" the gruff voice asked before she reached him. He stood and stretched himself to full height, a good bit taller than her.
"I had to work on an English assignment...." she said, quietly. She was more timid around him. Always had been.
"In a boy's dorm?" he growled, stepping towards her. She took one step back.
"It's a joint thing. Ms. Godsby paired us off. My partner lives in Birchwood. We were outlining our project. That's all....." Gabe grunted at her. "I have a lot of homework and I have practice early tomorrow morning. Can I go in now.....?" she said meekly, looking as if she was trying to hide.
"Just don't let me catch you in that dorm again. Ever...." Gabe ordered and headed down the stairs. Vivi mumbled a reply and headed to the doors.
Something caught her shoulder and spun her around. Gabe had a tight grip on her. "Ow....you're hurting me, Gabe.....let go....."
"Never again. I'm giving you one warning – never again. Or you will regret it," his fist caught her cheek and snapped her head quickly. Gabe threw her to the stairs and stalked off.
She sat there for a moment, fighting back bitter tears, rubbing her cheek. Her shoulder throbbed as well. She was going to have bruises in the morning. She sighed and headed inside. Thank God it was October and she could wear long sleeves.
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Vivi could hear them before she turned down their hallway. The music blaring, Portman singing along at the top of his lungs, and Fulton and Dwayne talking and laughing. She smiled, for the first time all day. Then her hand when to her cheek, which still throbbed. She hoped her make-up hadn't sweated off or something during rehearsal. The bruise on her cheek was pretty bad and she wasn't up for making excuses. She knocked on the door and slipped it open, a wave of hot air hitting her.
"Goodness! Why is it so hot in here?" she said, dumping her stuff on the couch.
"Heaters broken. All the rooms are saunas, even with the windows open...." Dwayne shrugged. She noticed all three were in T-shirts or wife beaters. And she was starting to sweat in her long sleeved shirt. She took off the letter jacket of Gabe's she always wore (he just about required it) and pushed the sleeves up on her shirt, wishing she could take it off and just go in the tank top she had on beneath. But she couldn't do that. Not with her shoulders black and blue as they were.
"They need to fix it......it's damn hot," she sighed.
"Hot as Hell...." Portman said, in good spirits. "So I read a bit of that book last night. It isn't too bad. That Portia chick really isn't like I would have thought women were back then. I thought they were all like obedient and sniveling and shit. But she's pretty neat."
"Well, that's kind of the point of her. I was thinking maybe we could write our paper on how Shakespeare uproots all the rules, while keeping them the same. Portia breaks her stereotype and 'the Jew' sticks so well in his. Have you gotten to the trial yet?"
"Not yet. Is it good?"
"Oh yeah. Portia just gets better," Vivi grinned.
"I'm shocked that you managed to find a book he likes, Vivi. He hates books. Especially ones written by old dead white guys," Dwayne said, turning from his computer. Portman went back to reading.
"Hey, Portman, while you're reading, see if you find any lines that support what we were saying. You know, if that's what you want to write on...."
"Sounds good to me."
"So, Cowboy, how's your paper coming? Did you come to an agreement?"
"Well, we're doing both plays. Godsby gave us permission to find some kind of topic or something that will cover both of them. Julie says it'll just be more work, but I think it'll be fun, and I promised to do more if I need to."
"You just really want to do R & G that badly?"
"Yep. It's a good show."
"R & G?" Portman asked, looking up.
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. It's a play by Tom Stoppard. Really funny. In a way, it's a companion to Hamlet. You would actually probably like it...." Dwayne explained.
"Ah...." Portman went back to the book.
"Portman, so we decided what our topic is going to be. So while you're finishing everything, I'm going to go down to the library and see if I can get some books for us to work with, maybe on status quo in Shakespearean times or something of that sort."
"Why don't you go get those and then bring them back here? I'll probably be done somewhat soon and we can get cracking on that research shit." Vivi laughed.
"Okay, Portman. I'll go bring them back here." She grabbed her jacket and hurried out.
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About an hour and a half later, Vivi and Portman had books spread all about as they gathered research and just talked. It was still sweltering hot and Vivi was fanning herself with her hand, the sleeves on her shirt pushed up.
"Vivi, it's hot. You have on that tank top – just take the heavy shirt off, girl," Fulton reasoned. Vivi sighed. It really was very hot. She took the shirt off and laid it over with the jacket. A moment later she heard a quiet, sharp intake of breath. She kept her eyes on the articles she had in her lap.
"What happened to you, kiddo? That ain't pretty......" Portman touched one of her shoulders.
"What, that?" she laughed weakly. "Oh, I'm just a klutz. I ran into the doorway yesterday and killed my shoulder. I just need to learn to stop running myself into things..."
"That looks pretty bad....you sure you shouldn't go see a doctor?" Dwayne examined the bruise.
"Nah, I'm fine. Come on, let's get back to work, Portman. Let's see how much of a dent we can make in this before eleven...." Portman nodded and the boys realized she just wanted to drop the subject.
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"Let us walk with you. It's after midnight........" Portman checked his watch.
"It's just across the quad. I'll be fine." Vivi headed out the door, pulling on her jacket.
"Yeah, but it's late. You never know who might be out." Dwayne pleaded.
"You mean like one of your crew, pulling pranks?" Vivi grinned.
"C'mon....." Portman said, following her towards the front door of the building.
"Okay, okay, if it will make you shut up, one of you can walk with me...." she sighed.
"I'll go. You go call Brookie, Portman. She might be getting jealous, you spending all your time with Ms. Vivi here," Dwayne grinned.
"Will do. Don't walk into any doorways tonight, Vivi. Be careful with yourself." Vivi nodded as Portman headed back towards his room.
"You don't have to do this, Dwayne."
"I really don't mind. It's nice out. I was probably going to take a walk anyways." She smiled slightly. The two walked in silence for a minute.
"That's Gabe Moskovitch's jacket, right?"
"Yeah...."
"He's quite a player. Big guy. How'd you get messed up with a guy like that?"
"One of the girls on the cheerleading team set me up with him. He loves me. He takes care of me." Dwayne glance her up and down really quick.
"I'm sure....." Vivi shifted her bag uncomfortably. "Seems like a big oaf to me, but then again, all those Varsity players do. They try to be so cool and put on airs around us."
"You're still unfamiliar to them. And a lot of them are jealous of you. You're the new 'golden child' of Eden Hall."
"Yeah, but still." Vivi stopped at the bottom of the steps to her dorm.
"Well, we're here. See? I didn't get jumped or mugged and I made it just fine...."
"Yeah, cause I was with you...." Dwayne grinned.
"Maybe......but hey, thanks anyways."
"Anytime.....see you in class tomorrow." Vivi turned and headed up the stairs. His voice stopped her. "Oh, and Vivi.......be careful. That 'doorway' is dangerous. Let me know if you need any help or anything from me....." Dwayne turned slowly to walk away as Vivi just kept walking into the dorm, trying to fight the tears that threatened to spill onto her cheeks.
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"He's actually turning out to be not that bad of a partner. He's actually interested in the book and seems to like the topic, which surprises me, you know, with the whole feminist part of it....It's only been two weeks, and we've already got a whole lot of research finished off, and the paper is about half way done. He's really doing a lot...." Vivi pulled a sandwich from her bag. They all hated the school lunches, so Leslie had run across to a deli during her free period and picked up sandwiches for herself, Belle, Maddie, Dulcie, Vivi, and Lianne. They sat outside on a stone wall eating and talking.
"He seems like such a big oaf, always making wise cracks and shit," Dulcie shrugged.
"He reminds me of Gabe...." Leslie said, without thinking. Vivi cringed, though she hoped no one saw it.
"He's not like Gabe. He's cool in a different kind of way. His roommates are amusing too. Doing research over there is quite a trip." Vivi grinned.
"Have anymore accidents lately?" Leslie asked quietly, as the other girls chattered away about something else.
"Nope. I've been a normal human being instead of a klutz the past few days. Thanks anyway, Les." Vivi smiled. She then grabbed her bag and headed inside. "I promised Gabe I'd come see him before going to English, so I'll catch up with you girls later."
Vivi walked through the cafeteria towards where the Varsity team usually sat. Gabe stood as she came closer. "Come on. I want to talk to you about something....." he said, taking her by the arm roughly and leading her into the hallway and an empty classroom. He shut the door behind them. "Who is he and why the fuck are you playing games with me?"
"What? I.....I don't know what you're talking about...."
"That guy. You're always over in Birchwood. You're never home. You are lying to me and playing games.......What the hell is going on?"
"I....I told you. I'm working on an English project with one of the guys that lives there."
"Who's the guy that's been walking you home? What the hell is going on?"
"He's just one of the roommates. They don't think it's a good idea for me to be walking that late all alone, so they walk me back to my dorm......" she said meekly, cowering slightly. She knew what was probably coming.
"I think you're cheating on me! And no one cheats on me – period, end of story. I don't care who you are or think you are. Nobody cheats on Gabe Moskovitch!" He punched her hard, grabbing her arms and shaking her.
"No, Gabe....please stop – you're hurting me....." she cried, tears spilling from her eyes. She tried to shield herself as he threw her into the wall, kicked her good once in the ribs, then stalked out of the room. Vivi crumbled to the floor, holding her side and touching her cheek. There would be a new bruise there soon – the only one had finally faded. She tried to stop the tears, but she couldn't fight them. She heard footsteps in the hurrying down the hallway and, fearing it was a teacher, tried to stand and steady herself quickly. She looked up as she tried to push herself to standing.....and saw Dwayne in the doorway.
"Vivi......are you okay?" he hurried over. "Don't stand....here, let me help you....." he knelt beside her. He turned her face to him. "You're bleeding...." he touched her head where she'd hit the wall. He wrapped his arms around her and she just curled in his arms, scared and crying. "What did he do to you......" he said after a moment. Vivi stiffened.
"I.......I don't know what you're talking about. I....I slipped...and fell. These stupid shoes....bad for walking....." she pulled away, wiping her tears and gathering her things.
"I saw him leaving. I heard you begging him to stop. I know what's going on, Vivi. He's not good for you. You don't deserve that kind of treatment....."
"I..........I have no clue what you are talking about. I'm fine. Thank you for checking on me...." she pushed herself up, managed to somewhat compose herself, and limped out of the room, her ankle hurt from the fall. She stopped in the girls' bathroom before heading to English.
She looked really bad. Her cheek was already starting to bruise, and there was a nasty gash right at her hairline. She was incredibly sore. She changed directions and headed towards the school nurse.
"Goodness, dear, what happened to you?" the woman exclaimed as she limped into the room.
"I slipped......going down the stairs. Stupid shoes, you know?" Vivi tried to laugh, but it hurt. Once the nurse was convinced nothing was broken and had bandaged the cut, she gave Vivi some pain medicine and told her to go back to her dorm and rest for the afternoon. She was all too willing to comply and headed straight there. She curled up in the chair underneath their window and just cried until she fell asleep.
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A persistent knock on the dorm room door woke her up. She looked around. It was 6:30. She could tell that the girls had come and gone, but they had just let her sleep. She'd left a note on the door saying that she'd slipped down some stairs and banged herself up pretty bad and was trying to sleep it off. The knocking continued, so she finally threw off the quilt someone had lay over her and went to the door.
"Who's there?"
"It's me.....Dwayne...." a familiar Southern drawl came through. Vivi bit back tears. "Please, Vivi.....just let me in. Just talk to me." Vivi opened the door and went back to her chair. Dwayne followed her in, shutting the door behind him, and pulled a desk chair up beside her. Vivi stared out the window. "You weren't in English and then you wouldn't answer your phone. I was worried. I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"I'm fine. It was just a pretty nasty fall, and the school nurse wanted me to come get some rest."
"Vivi.....you can't keep pretending. You know you didn't fall. Your shoes are fine. And I also don't think you walked into a doorway last week, or accidentally bumped into your bed trying to come in after the girls were asleep a few days ago either. You are not a clumsy person, Vivi. You are a dancer, and a good one at that. You couldn't be that amazing of a dancer if you were as clumsy as you say."
"So I'm good on a dance floor but clumsy in life, what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing, if that were true. But, Vivian, you and I both know that is not what is going on here." Vivi stared out the window, blinking back tears. "Why do you let him do it, Vivi? Why do you let him treat you like that?"
"I don't know what you are talking about, Dwayne."
"I'm sure there are hundreds of guys out there that would love you and treat you like you should be treated if you gave them the chance. Why do you stay with someone who treats you so badly? You don't deserve that."
"I'm really not sure what you mean."
"Vivi.......please, stop lying to yourself....."
"Dwayne, I had a nasty fall down some steps today. I hurt pretty badly and I have practice tomorrow, so I need some rest. I would appreciate it if you would go."
"I can't do that until I know you are going to be okay."
"I'm fine," Vivi shot at him, her teeth clenched. "Now go away and leave me alone or I will have security come and throw you out of this dorm." Vivi turned back to the window. Dwayne sighed, looking at his hands, then stood and went to the door.
"Okay. I'm going. But just know that if I can ever do anything, I'm here. Even if it's just to listen. I'm here for you if you need me." Dwayne closed the door behind him. Vivi dropped her head to her hands and just cried.
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She was still limping and extremely sore the next day, but when she was at her locker before school, Gabe came over and kissed her and acted as if nothing had happened. His hand brushed the cut and then he ran a finger across the bruise. "You might want to be a little more careful, honey. A fall like that could really hurt you.......I'm just glad you're okay...." he kissed her forehead and Vivi just smiled.
"Yeah, I'm okay.....just a little sore, but it will go away...." he put his arm around her as she shut her locker and headed towards her class. She passed Dwayne's locker and did all she could to avoid his gaze. "I have to go to the library to do some research and writing after the games, so I'll just see you later, okay, Gabe? Good luck on the ice toady....." she kissed his cheek and ducked into her classroom before he really had any time to respond.
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Vivi tried to avoid Dwayne and his roommates all day. She wasn't sure what he might have told them, and she wasn't sure she really wanted to know. She sat in the back corner in English, trying to blend in with the wall, then got out of there as soon as class was over. She couldn't cheer, so she sat with Maddie and the girls and watched. But all day, she was unusually quiet. Something about what Dwayne had said to her kept bugging her.
After the Varsity game ended, Vivi headed towards the library, walking slowly, thinking. She declined Maddie and Belle's offers to walk with her and give her some company. She climbed the white stone steps into the almost silent building. There were only a few people there. Though the library was open twenty four hours, there were rarely more than five people in it after about five.
Vivi settled into one of the secluded tables against the far wall and spread the research she and Portman had been working on around her. She hadn't told him she'd be over to work tonight and she assumed that he would take the night off. She felt he deserved it anyway, but mainly, she just didn't want to have to face him if Dwayne had let Portman in on his suspicions.
She heard footsteps coming towards her and she turned to see Gabe coming her way. She sighed.
"Hey...." he said, smiling widely. She forced a weak smile in return.
"Hey. I told you, I have some work I have to get done." She turned back to the papers spread around and started trying to organize their paper into a more focused piece.
"You can do that at my place. Come on, Vivi; let's go back to my dorm. You can get more work done there...." he said, leaning over, his hands on her shoulders. She tensed up.
"I'm fine here. Thanks though."
"Come on, Vivi. Loosen up. Just come back with me...." he massaged her shoulders a little and his hands started to move down towards the V or her collar.
Vivi tensed again and tried to shrug his hands off her shoulders. "No, really, Gabe. I'm fine. Thanks anyway."
"What? You can study in that guy's room but not mine? Or is he meeting you here? I told you, Vivi. No one cheats on me." Vivi turned in her chair, glaring at him.
"God, Gabe, get a grip! I'm not cheating on you. I'm working on a damn paper for English. See? All these papers? All this research? That's what I've been trying to do. Just research. Just writing. Just because I'm in a guys room does not mean I'm sleeping with him, which is more than I can say for you and your 'friends that happen to be girls'...." the moment the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it. She wasn't sure where it had come from or why she had said it, and now she regretted it more than anything. The two just stared at each other for a moment before his class ring caught her cheek and her head snapped to one side. She closed her eyes, swiftly bringing her hand to her face and kept her head down.
"Don't ever talk to me like that," he hissed, low enough so no one could hear. "I don't understand you. What do you think you're going to get out of this? He won't ever love you. No one will. You're too fucked up to love. I don't love you, never have loved you, and never will love you. But I'll settle for you. You aren't going to get any better, and you're never, ever, going to make me look bad like that again, do you hear me? Now you are going to come back with me to my dorm right now and we'll forget this little incident ever happened, okay?" Vivi never looked up. He grabbed her hair and yanked it back, her head snapping back on its neck. She forced her eyes to stay closed. She refused to cry. He would not see her cry. "Do you understand me, whore?" he hissed in her ear. Vivi bit her lip, her hand still on her cheek. He released her hair, throwing her head forward. "Get your stuff. Let's go." Vivi silently gathered her things and followed him out of the library, hoping no one had seen what happened. The few people there were too engrossed in their own work. Gabe started across the quad toward his dorm. Vivi followed behind, her head hung. She looked over at the Birchwood dorm and saw the light in Portman's window was on. Gabe was talking, but Vivi didn't hear a word of it. She turned and headed towards the Birchwood dorm, knowing Gabe wouldn't turn around until he reached his door and by then, she would be inside. She walked slowly at first, then broke into a run, wanting to get away from him as soon as possible.
She reached the door as someone else went in and she rushed in behind them, running up the stairs. She wasn't sure what she would say or really why she was here. She slowed as she reached their door, which was open. Dwayne sat at his desk, staring intently at the computer screen. Portman and Fulton were nowhere to be seen. Vivi stopped in the doorway.
"Hey........" she said quietly, suddenly very aware of the stabbing pain in her cheek and the throbbing in her head.
"Hey.......you feeling better?" he asked without looking up. He kept typing on his keyboard. She should tell him. She knew she should tell him. But suddenly, the pit of her stomach dropped out and she lost all her nerve. Gabe was right anyway.
"I'm still a little sore, but what can you expect? It was a pretty nasty.....fall....." she saw him sigh, his fingers stopping and just hovering over the keyboard.
"Yeah. It was a bad fall." There was silence for a few minutes. Vivi watched Dwayne and Dwayne stared at the computer screen without typing.
"Look.........I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you last night. I think the pain medicine did something to my brain...."
"I'm sure....."
"I just wanted to tell you."
"Well, you told me. I'll remember never to come near you when you're on pain medicine. Thanks for the heads up." Dwayne still refused to look at her. Vivi stared at him for a moment the turned, trying to fight tears. It wasn't because of the pain in her cheek. She was hurt that he wouldn't even look at her.
"I'm sorry I bothered you....." she said softly and started to walk away. She stopped and turned back. She stood in the doorway and just looked at him. "Did you mean it?"
Dwayne looked at her for the first time since the night before. "Huh?" Vivi tried to speak, but the words got caught in the lump filling her throat. She tried again.
"Did you mean all that stuff you said last night......about me being better than that and deserving better?" Her voice cracked. Vivi tried to hold the tears back, but she couldn't. They started to tumble down her cheeks. Dwayne's face softened and he came over to her, hugging her.
"Of course I did, Vivi....Every word of it. He's not good for you. He intentionally hurts you. It's one thing to hurt someone by accident, by saying something once or twice. It's an entirely different story for him to hit you daily and beat you like he does. And I'm sure I don't even know half of it. I may not know much, but I know that you don't deserve that. Nobody deserves that." Dwayne held her tightly, pushing her hair off her face and looking into her eyes. "Come on.....Sit down....please?" Vivi nodded and he guided her to the couch. She sniffled and tried to stop the tears. She could see he was fighting back tears as well. "Did he do that tonight?" Dwayne gently touched her cheek. She winced slightly, but nodded. "You should get that looked at....."
"He's right. I'm too fucked up. I'm not worth the trouble....."
"Vivi, don't believe him. You're great. You're funny. You're a good friend to all those girls of yours. And hey, you even got Portman excited about a school project. Portman hates school." She smiled and laughed a little through her tears. "There....that's the smile I've been trying to get."
"I just......I just don't know who I am.....without Gabe. I mean, since I came here, I've been Gabe's girlfriend.......I don't know who I am if I'm not her....."
"You're Vivian Jackson, a cheerleader, a dancer, an actress, and a great friend to everyone. You'll be fine without him. I know you will. You will still be you."
"That's the problem – I'm not sure I know who 'me' is...."
"Then you'll figure it out. And we'll all help you. But the biggest, most important thing is for you to know that you are worth more than that. You are worth so much more than he says. I know you may not feel like you are, but you are and that's the truth."
"Thanks, Dwayne.....you are too good for my ego....." she smiled at him. He put his arm around her shoulder to hug her and she leaned against his shoulder.
"So what are you going to do now?"
"Well.................I guess the biggest thing is to break it off with Gabe........I'm just scared of what he might do...."
"How about this? Portman and I will go along with you. He's not going to do anything to you with us there. I promise. We can do it whenever you want – as soon as Portman gets back, or we can wait. You can stay here as long as you want."
"You would do that for me?"
"Yeah. You're our girl. We gotta take care of you. Besides, Portman would never pass that English paper without your help." He cracked a grin.
"I guess I really don't have a choice, do I?" Dwayne shook his head. "Okay. Then I guess that's what we'll do."
"Good. Now c'mon. Let's get something for that cut. It looks pretty bad, but I bet it won't be so bad once we clean it up." Dwayne smiled at her and went digging for their first aid kit.
"I'm sorry, Dwayne....."
"You have nothing to be sorry for...." he said, coming back with some cloth and cleaning solution and a bandage.
"Thank you......" she said softly as he started to clean the blood off her cheek.
"It's not a problem, hun...." he smiled at her. She smiled back. It would take some help, but she knew she would be okay. And she knew Dwayne would do anything he could to get her through it.
"I'm.....I'm kinda tired......"
"I imagine you would be. You've had a long couple of days. You're probably emotionally exhausted. C'mon. You can curl up in my bunk and take a nap. I'd say I'll wake you when the boys get back, but I think they'll do a pretty good job of that themselves." Dwayne smiled at her as she climbed into the bunk and lay down.
"Thank you........." she said softly and smiled at him.
"It's my pleasure. Now, get some sleep......" he pushed her hair out of her forehead and smiled at her. She smiled back, closing her eyes, and falling into peaceful sleep for the first time in months.