Author's Notes: Okay. I am warming myself back up to writing fan fiction. In the past year I have written nothing but essays for school, so bear with me here.
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Don't rub it in.
Summary: Harry thinking after the 4th book. The entire thing is Harry's POV. Yes, I know, I'm behind the times, but like I said before, just bear with me here.
Spoilers: If you haven't read the 4th book yet, then you either read really slow, or aren't really a Harry Potter fan.
Fortitude
This has gone to far. He's back, and he's strong. And I don't know if I want anything to do with this anymore. When Hagrid came to find me in that little hut on that rock in the lake that was in the middle of nowhere, being a wizard sounded like fun. A chance to get away. Away from Dudley, away from Aunt Petunia, and away from Uncle Vernon. Away from a life that I thought was horrible, and still feels horrible whenever I'm there. But compared to the events of this year, that life was beautiful. There was no fear. No real fear anyway. No fear that the ones that I love would be taken from me at any moment. And there was no death.
Cedric Diggory died.
I am going to have to live with this as long as I live. He died. Because of Voldemort. No, because of me. I just had to be the goody-two shoes and say "Hey there buddy! Why don't we grab the cup together?" If I would have been selfish, just that one time, I could have saved his life.
But I didn't.
I'm scared now. Voldemort is going to come after me, I know he is. And I want to be ready. I've been studying as much a I can, in hopes that I might be able to stand against him. Heck, I know I can stand against him. I did before, when I was too young to remember it. He's probably still not as strong as he was then too. There's no way he could just automatically regain all of his life and power back.
This isn't a video game.
I have to be strong and stand against him. But I'm afraid that my next stand may be my last. I might die fighting him. Hopefully I will die defeating him. But death is inevitable. I know someone will die, maybe not me, but someone close, and I won't be able to stop it. I just need to do it. There is no backing down now. Voldemort knows where I live, where I sleep, he knows. And he will follow me. I have to face the music. Fortitude is strength of mind that allows one to endure pain or adversity with courage.
Do I have the fortitude to do what needs to be done?