Lily snickered in an unpleasant way.
Nikki:
"Shut up, Lily.
"Yes, Lily," he said, "and go fuck yourself."
Lily grabbed a hatchet out of the hall closet and swung it at Jack's head. He ducked, brandishing his chainsaw. Lily screamed and ran into the kitchen. She could hide in the meat locker! Elizabeth just sat there and blinked into oblivion. Jack got to Lily before she could make it to the meat locker. Three houses down, people could hear high-pitched screams mingled with the whine of the chainsaw. They shrugged it off, as those noises were common to the neighborhood.
"Say uncle!" Jack yelled at the bloody rag that had once been Lily. He laughed with satisfaction. He headed back to Elizabeth.
Kelly:
He hurled the bloodied power tool into the foyer, accidentally slicing Will's head open. He fell over.
"Oops." Jack stuck the head on the fire poker and put it back.
"What happened to Lily, Jacky?" Elizabeth said sweetly.
"She's in the kitchen," Jack said, and smiled.
"Well, tell her to make something."
Nikki:
said Elizabeth who headed up the stairs to reinforce her corset. Jack slipped into the kitchen to poison her drink.
Kelly:
Elizabeth didn't notice the bloody footsteps on the staircase and went into the bathroom. There she saw the corpse of one of the other maids, Mary. It was slightly decomposed. Then, a TV apparated and started blaring static. A small girl climbed out and started dripping towards Elizabeth.
Nikki:
Elizabeth didn't even have a chance to scream. Jack was downstairs, busily stirring chlorine into some water.
Kelly:
"Dearest," he called up the stairs. "I have some water fer ya."
He was astute enough to notice the bloody prints on the stairs. "Well, Liz, if yer not comin' down, I'm sure as hell not going to get you, you fucking whore."
Then he noticed the makeshift pike with Will's head on it was gone.
Nikki:
"HOLY JESUS!" He yelled, turning purple with anger. He charged up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, there was a gigantic eye peering at him, like this:
"Oh, help!" cried Alice, and she kicked the miniature man down the stairs. Outside, she could hear the white rabbit directing Bill to get a ladder. "I'm not a monster, I'm not!" she cried. The muffled white rabbit's voice shrieked, "Down the chimney, Bill!
"Down the chimney, my arse!" murmured Alice.
Jack didn't say anything because he'd hit his head quite hard when Alice had knocked him down the stairs. Samara stared down at him and sang a song he'd never heard before. She was glad he was here because it was oh so lonely at the bottom of the well.
Kelly:
She climbed on top of him and started jumping on his head. Jack lay quite still.
"Oy, that's not very nice, you fucking little girl!" growled the white rabbit, and flew at Samara, Holy Grail-style and started mauling her face. She fell to the ground.
"Bill- where are you?" Alice boomed in her giant-y voice.
"Right here, poppet," he said squirming in his severed-head-y way. In his mouth was a flaming torch (is there any other kind?) and he spit fire at her.
"OH NOOOOO!" Alice screamed and crashed through the window. Winona Ryder and Edward Scissorhands gaped at the huge girl on the lawn, and then turned away, whistling.
Edward looked at Jack lying next to Samara's corpse. "I feel as if I know him," he said softly. Nikki:
Winona rolled her eyes, balled up his fist and repeatedly punched him in the face saying "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!" Somewhere in Argentina, a boy named Alfredo cried silently into his pasta, for reasons unknown to him. Elizabeth's Sudden Zombie Homicidal Rage Syndrome (SZHRS) kicked in. She left the upstairs rom and out onto the lawn, where she attacked Winona.
Kelly:
"Welcome to the Caribbean, bitch!" she roared and kicked Winona in the face like this:
Winona fell to the ground sobbing. Elizabeth, in her condition, had no sympathy. She took off her slipper and repeatedly bludgeoned her with it. It was all the more painful because Elizabeth had drilled razor-sharp nails into the soles.
Edward and Jack got up from their respective positions and charged the zombie Elizabeth. Winona, her pristine face a mess of rust and blood, took this opportunity to whip out her sawed-off shotgun and shoot Jack in the face. She laughed maniacally, but not for long because
Nikki:
Jack pulled out her vocal chords. The elevator doors opened and hundreds of gallons of blood spilled out.