Disclaimer: FLCL nor any characters/places/names within are my own but property of Gainax studios. any original characters/places/etc are mine.
Author's Note: This one went kind of...slow, my sincere apologies. I thought I'd get in some Kamon/Haruko comedy there, hope you enjoy, much fighting coming soon!
A soft tickle brushed against Naota's forehead. The seventeen year old stayed asleep, maybe Miyu-Miyu was wandering around again. Then it happened again, the same soft tickle, but what WAS it? It wasn't fuzzy like Miyu-Miyu's tail, it felt like a soft breeze. Naota, through his completely groggy and sleep phased mind, dismissed the wayward slight gust of air. It kept coming though, slowly, and constantly in the same place. Groaning inwardly, Naota opened his eyes, ready to go and close the open window.
" Mmmffg! Mmmggh!" Naota's sounds of shock were muffled by Haruko, his head pressed firmly into her chest with one arm wrapped around his back and the other around the back of his head, as if he were some overgrown teddy bear.
Naota began to flail, rather wildly, with his current position. He didn't remember much of anything after the battle with the massive robot that had grown from his head, but he was pretty certain that he hadn't done something foolish like give Haruko permission to sleep with him!
Haruko, completely oblivious to Naota and still snoring slightly, rolled over, right on top of Naota and smothering him between her and the mattress. Naota's eyes bugged out as his face was forced into Haruko's cleavage, trying futilely to push Haruko right off him. Despite Haruko's slight form, she seemed extremely heavy and Naota couldn't find any amount of strength to escape her grasp. Just when Naota was sure he'd die of suffocation by way of being suffocated by breasts, Haruko's eyes slowly fluttered open. The alien woman looked about a moment, rather groggily, not showing any sign that she knew that she was holding down a gasping and flailing Naota.
" Oh, hello Ta-kun, sleep well?" Haruko asked, a coy smile forming on her lips as she finally addressed the now-turning-blue Naota, who still struggled vainly. After a moment more of just smiling down at him, she finally moved off the nearly dead Naota, whose face was now in an angry scowl.
"What were you doing sleeping with me!?" Naota asked angrily and pointing an accusing finger at the offending Haruko who put on a mock surprise expression.
"You don't remember!? Ta-kun it was the absolute BEST sex I've had in…Oh…" she stopped, counting on her fingers for a few moments, "FOREVER!" Haruko exclaimed, stopping to put one hand over her mouth and blushing profusely, obviously faking the entire thing but that didn't comfort Naota any. Of course before Naota could even make some remark denying it, things went from weird to weirder as Kamon burst into Naota's room.
" AH-HAH! I have caught you again doing very, very perverted things with Haruko-san my son. MY VENGEANCE WILL BE SWIFT!" Kamon blabbered as he kicked in Naota's door, and then leaving with a pose and a flourish. Both Naota and Haruko watched the entire scene blankly and stayed that way as several crashing sounds accompanied by shouts and groans.
Moments later Kamon came stomping back into the room, in the most unusual costume Naota had ever seen. Kamon wore a baggy orange gi with similarly baggy pants, black boots, and a blue type sash that went around his middle. On the back of his gi was a large kanji word saying "The Burger King" and on the front a smaller word that said "Golden Arches Hermit".
" Salmon swims up stream! Dances with Elk! The Violet Pumpernickel!" Kamon shouted off, going into several wacky poses that were supposed to pass of as genuine martial arts stances. Naota stared at him hardly impressed.
" Dad…" Naota began, noticing the lack of Haruko who had sat on the bed next to him, moments ago.
"Quiet Ta-kun! I am the father and the master and therefore am superior in wisdom and wiseness and should not be interrupted…" Kamon began to rebuke Naota.
" But Dad…." Naota again interrupted, trying to pull off the miracle of getting his father's attention when he was off rambling.
"…I am trendy and cool and have caught you disgracing my honor by making out with Haruko-san and as such you must be punished.." Kamon continued rambling like an idiot.
" DAD!!!" Naota yelled over the rambling and standing up suddenly, finally stopping Kamon's rant.
" What IS IT Ta-kun!?" Kamon asked finally. Naota pointed for his father to look behind him.
" Oh, Haruko-sa-AAUUGGHH!!!!" Kamon was smacked hard with the bass that Haruko wielded, knocking him right through the gaping hole that had been boarded and then re-boarded up in Naota's room.
"Haruko-san you are so crruuueeelll! I am YOURS!" Kamon could be heard remarking faintly as Haruko jumped through the whole and chased the much-abused but entirely deserving Kamon, swinging her bass at him, all of which could probably level an apartment complex.
----------------------------------------------------------
Sometime later….
Naota walked down the street of Mabase, with absolutely no place to go. He had needed to clear his head and with the time he had obtained with Haruko out hunting Kamon, he had an undisturbed stroll through the secular and out of the way village.
" Hey! Naota!" a familiar and not entirely unwelcome voice called out, accompanied by the familiar sounds of the old truck that his friend, Masashi, always seemed to be driving.
" Hey Masashi! Done with deliveries?" Naota asked, stopping and spinning around to face his friend who sat at the wheel of his dull green truck that was in some disrepair.
" Naw, I got one last stop to make, feel like coming with me?" Masashi asked, kicking open the passenger door to the old truck, the door groaning in some resistance.
" Yeah, sure, why not?" Naota grinned slightly, hopping into the rickety truck, somewhat relieved that he could find some time away from the incredibly insane Haruko.
" So, what've you been up to in the last few days? I haven't seen you in school, have you been sick?" Masashi asked, shifting the truck into gear and practically flooring it down the small streets of Mabase, but handling the old truck with ease.
" Oh…uh…not exactly…just…you know…Kamon is freaking out again over his editor job and I needed to stick around and help out some." Naota lied horribly, but Masashi didn't question it much to Naota's disbelief and relief.
" Y'know Naota, if ya got something on your mind, you can tell me. I mean, we're best friends, right?" Masashi asked, looking over at Naota to gauge his reaction, which was a readily given nod. It was true, when Haruko and Mamimi had left only Eri, Gaku, and Masashi had really become close to him. In fact, Naota would have been with Eri all that time that he had spent with Haruko in the past day or so, had she not been on a trip to America to visit some sort of distant family.
" Yeah, I know Masashi, it's nothin'." Naota replied but instead of continuing in the usual frivolous conversation that he usually engaged in, they spent the rest of the car ride in complete silence.
------------------------------------------
Masashi dropped Naota at his house after making the last delivery. The two friends hadn't spoke nearly the entire ride until the very end, just when they were nearing the Nabada abode and Masashi had begun to slow up the truck.
" You've really changed Naota…" Masashi had said and then leaned over and opened Naota's door. Naota looked at Masashi quizzically, wondering if he had an explanation, but with nothing forthcoming, he stepped out of the truck and slowly trudged into his house.
Naota looked about his almost empty house, ignoring the mass of bruised and cut flesh that was his father who was half submerged into the food disposal in the sink, obviously put their by an angry Haruko at Kamon's unwanted attention and advances.
Stalking upstairs to his room, Naota slid open his door, only to be exposed to the entirely node form of Haruko who was drying her wet hair with a towel. Naota froze up entirely, his eyes getting huge and his arms seemingly becoming frozen to his sides.
" Oh hey Ta-kun! Just took a shower! Beating the living primordial ooze out of your father sure works up a sweat." Haruko said, rather cheerfully, once she notice the intruding Naota, who continued to stare.
Naota, very stiffly, turned his back to Haruko as nosebleed started to form, his face a deep red as he blushed profusely at the situation. Naota was about to leave the room when the slender fingered hand of Haruko slid the door shut in front of Naota. Naota made a noise somewhere between a gulp and a groan as Haruko pressed up against Naota's back, draping her right arm over his shoulder, lazily drawing circles on his chest with her index finger.
"What's wrong, hmmm Ta-kun? You must have seen plenty of naked girls already you're so maannnlllyyy" Haruko teased, resting her chin on his right shoulder and licking his earlobe. Naota tensed up at the contact and pretty much fell limp. Haruko, with a shrug, just dropped him to the floor, getting dressed in an almost exact duplicate of her previous outfit.
" Haruko, exactly what happened since when that thing came out of my head? And, as a matter of fact, WHY are things coming out of my head?" Naota finally asked, getting up and moving over to the bed.
Haruko sauntered toward the sitting Naota, opened her mouth as if she was finally about to speak, then swung her bass around and smacked Naota directly out the gaping hole in his room, landing in a heap on the cracked pavement next to his house.
" You wouldn't understand Ta-kun, you're STILL just a kid!" Haruko said, leaning out of the hole and sticking her tongue out at him, then disappearing into the Nabada household.
" Damn it Haruko! I'm gonna get the truth out of you even if I have to…eh…well, I'LL DO IT!" Naota yelled back, bringing himself to his feet and running into the house, much too steamed to notice as a whole bunch of spikes, comparable to the noses of a rocket, began to rise out of his head….