Disclaimer: FLCL is property of Gainax studios. Any original characters/places/ideas/etc are mine.
Author's Note: Trying to make a good mix between romance, humor, and action. I found that usually two go together but not all three rather smoothly, the way I type a chapter anyways, so big action chapter comes up next.
Naruko trudged into his house, an absolutely dreadful look on his face, his red cap turned backward on his head to hide the massive bumps that would, undoubtedly, turn into some giant robot eventually. Haruko marched in behind Naota, dragging her Rickenbacker base and almost perfectly emulating the expression on his face.
" Hoooppp----eeerrrrr…Ta-kun I AM your Fathhheeerrr…" Kamon imitated the world famous Darth Vader from Star Wars, hopping out from behind a chair and making fake swings with a plastic light saber. Naota swore that either Kamon was just getting dumber in his old age or Haruko had delivered one too many whacks to his head.
" Yes, I know you are, what a shock." Naota replied in a completely nasty manner, though Kamon didn't seem to notice or care, his helmeted gaze coming to fall on Haruko, looking her up and down, marveling at his genius since Haruko wouldn't be able to see him giving her a rude once over.
" You're moving your head up and down, you idiot." Haruko said flatly to Kamon, already guessing what he had been doing. It seemed that the old man's bag of tricks had finally run out when it came to trying to earn the affections of Haruko. In one fluid motion, Haruko popped open the front of Kamon's helmet and planted her fist right into his face, sending him flying into the wall, not losing a step behind Naota.
" Is something wrong, Naota?" Shingekuni asked, just about the only one in his family that still called the teen Naota after Haruko had arrived.
" I got detention! Thanks to HER!" Naota spun around and put an accusing index finger right on Haruko's collar bone, a angry look plastered on his face.
" I can't help it if your teacher doesn't like her car being fixed for free!" Haruko replied in mock anger, just egging Naota on, as usual. For the past couple of days the endless taunting and teasing had really gotten on Naota's nerves.
" Smashing up her new car is not a definition of 'fixing'!" Naota responded almost instantly, shaking his fist threateningly at Haruko, the entire gesture ignored entirely by the alien woman.
" She had a HUGE dent on the bumper! So I decided to even it out! She should have given you an A not a detention Ta-kun!" Haruko responded, dropping her façade of anger, her trademarked smirk coming to rest on her features.
" A dent that YOU caused! And besides, you smashed up the ENTIRE CHASSIS!" Naota grabbed both sides of his hat in frustration, spun around, and stalked off to his room. After taking a moment to yet again emulate Naota's angry facial features, Haruko stalked off after Naota, to his room.
Shingekuni just went back to sipping his tea, completely ignoring his son who now acted as his new table of groaning, bruised, human flesh. Obviously, Shingekuni had grown tired of his demented son's failed antics.
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"Ta-kun, are you still not talkin at me?" Haruko asked Naota, who was now tired to a chair and scowling angrily at Haruko, his mouth clamped shut. After refusing to respond to Haruko at all, the extraterrestrial had decided to take more drastic measures.
" So it's that way then, huh?" Haruko grinner savagely, having a good idea in mind. Setting her bass next to Naota, she began to just squirm all over Naota, something comparable to a sort of lap dance. Naota began to blush furiously, that is, until Kamon burst in.
" So you think you're hot stuff, do you Ta-kun? Hmmm? Hmmm? Well let me just say…" Kamon never could finish as Haruko whirled around, pumped the neck of her Rickenbacker bass once, and fired a huge shotgun blast right into Kamon's chest, throwing him out the door and through the wall into the next room.
"Wow…lucky I was wearing my bullet proof….vest…" Kamon remarked as he began to crawl back into the room. Haruko, finally at her nerve's end with Kamon, whirled around and blasted Kamon six times in quick succession, blasting him back to where he had been, his bulletproof vest smoking.
"Now…where were we?" Haruko grinned at the blushing Naota again, when a knock came at the door, easily heard from the duo's current position. A moment passed and Shingekuni answered the door.
" Hi…is Naota home?" a feminine voice floated up to the room, which Naota easily recognized. With some sort of super human strength, Naota broke the rope bonds binding him, standing up suddenly, head butting Haruko in the process, and running down the stairs in a flash.
" Eri! " Naota said, rather happily, nearly kicking his grandfather out of the way of Eri's vision, a broad smile on his face as he faced his friend Eri Ninamori.
" Hi Naota! We just got back and I decided to come over…I thought you might want to know I'm back?" Eri replied to the one word, yet entirely ecstatic greeting by Naota.
" Yeah, sure! Come on- Heeeyyy Ta-kun, looks it's that girl who rigged the play for you…" Haruko interrupted, draping her arms over Naota's shoulders and settling her chin on her right arm, looking lazily at Eri.
" Haruko?" Eri questioned, blinking her eyes slightly in surprise, obviously having rather mixed feelings about her. She HAD been the one responsible for making a massive robot come out of her head.
" The one and only…" Haruko replied with a smirk, making a point to nibble on Naota's earlobe, making the younger man flinch and wishing he had a guitar himself to bash Haruko with.
" So you two are together then…?" Eri asked, trying to seem entirely neutral on the subject but Naota thought he might of caught some sort of hurt in her eyes. Naota quickly shook his head, trying to pry the now much more bold Haruko away from him.
" What? No, not at all!" Naota replied vehemently, turning around , setting a foot against Haruko stomach and trying to push off and away from her frantically. Haruko, after a moment, obliged him, letting go suddenly and sending Naota stumbling backward into Eri and out the door.
" Ahhhh, time for 'adult time', eh Haruko?" Kamon asked, appearing from the nearby closet, sliding the door shut and locking it.
" What don't you understand about NEVER GETTING A THING OUT OF ME!?" Haruko asked, rather loudly. Then, in a rather eerie calm, began rolling up her sleeves.
" I guess I'll have to BEAT you into understanding" Haruko said, an insane edge entering her voice. For the first time in a long, long while, Kamon began to worry for his physical health.
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" Are you alright?" Naota asked with a sigh, getting up then helping Eri to her feet. Naota sent a much annoyed look over his shoulder to the now shut door.
" Yeah, don't worry about it Naota, it wasn't near as bad when Haruko ran us both over…you remember, right?" Eri tried to relive the tension, but unsuccessfully as Naota didn't want to remember anything about the 'good ol' days' with Haruko using his head as a living baseball.
" Yeah…uh, sure." Naota replied, falling silent afterward into his own deep thoughts, amazed that he could even think deeply after the beating that his head takes. An awkward silence followed for a few long moments.
" Well, I guess I'll be going home then…" Eri said after a few moments, beginning to turn on her heels before Naota quickly placed a hand on her shoulder. Eri turned, the two long time friends, (who also carried a secret crush for the other), locked eyes, Naota began to move forward for a kiss, puckering his lips slightly.
" AYYAAAHHHH!!!!" came a horrific scream from the Nabada household, startling both teenagers and making them turn to examine the house with rather confused looks on their faces.
" No! Not that! Haruko-san please! It's all I have left! No, please DON'T!" Kamon's voice trailed off as a terrifically loud crunch resounded across the entire neighborhood, followed quickly by another earsplitting scream from Kamon.
" She BROKE IT! My…my PRIDE! The only thing that still worked correctly! THE ONLY THING I HAD GOING FOR ME IN GETTING GIRLS!" Kamon was yelling in disbelief from the upper story of the house. Haruko walked out the door, cracking her knuckles loudly, hopping on her Vespa and driving off without a word. Eri and Naota stood there in stark shock.
" She destroyed my official World War II air pistol and shred apart my red suit, white pants outfit!" came a hysterical Kamon's voice. Naota shook his head in disgust at the absolute eccentric that was his father.
" Sorry about th-" Naota began to apologize for the sheer stupidity of his father and Haruko, turning around only to have his lips meet Eri's in a quick yet meaningful kiss. Naota stared in absolute shock, having a hard time to say anything that wouldn't seem stupid and wreck the moment.
" Look Naota, I really like you" Eri's voice led off, unsure of what to say and lowering her head as a bright blush started to cover her face. She turned her back to Naota in a failed attempt at hiding hit, putting her hands to her beat red face.
"I…uh…well…I…really like you too, Eri." Naota managed to breathe in surprise. Naota began to say something more but a horrific wave of pain came charging through his senses, nearly knocking Naota off his feet. Naota clutched at his head as several huge spikes shout out, making his head look like a giant depth charge.
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Haruko, riding around on her Vespa and smashing random mailboxes that she saw with her Rickenbacker bass, turned her Vespa suddenly, cocking her head slightly as if she heard some faint noise.
Suddenly, down where she had left Naota and Eri a huge rumbling was heard and then a crash as a monstrous form was silhouetted against the afternoon sun. Haruko turned her Vespa around and set off in the direction of the Nabada home, a grin of satisfaction on her face…