Disclaimer: Digimon is not miiiiiiine.
And also, let me explain that the views of characters, minor or major, in this story are not mine. There are SERIOUS ISSUES in it. (Read the title.) And if you do happen to think they are funny… well that is not my problem. Let me just share that I am a completely tolerant individual. To quote Dave Barry, "I don't mean to make the characters offensive… they do that on their own."
Another thing I'd like to share is that the traits paired with the characters (i.e. TK the hooker, Mimi the alcoholic, Yolei the oblivious pregnant one…) were random. No joke. I wrote down the traits and gave them letters and kt (drawerfull) assigned each letter to a number… and it fell out perfectly. Whee.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Alright, miss. We need the first and last name of the father of the baby."
Yolei continued in her crusade, despite being strapped to a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, and sweating like a hippo in heat, "I'M NOT PRRRRREEEEEGGGGNANNNNTT!" she panted.
"You can give up now, honey. There's nothing we can do about it now. Just tell us his name, please." A kindly nurse interjected.
Tears streamed down Yolei's face, out of both frustration and pain, "You don't understand. I'm really not gonna have a baby!"
All of a sudden realizing that the poor girl actually did not know she was pregnant, the nurse's face softened. "Well, dear… who have you, ah, had intercourse with in er… the past year?"
The group looked on from the foot of the bed, Sora's head was leaning way down on Cody, who was at least a foot taller, 's shoulder, crying softly; Matt's arms were wrapped protectively around Kari, who was paying less attention to Yolei and her serious issues than checking to see if TK was watching her. Davis and Tai leaned against the wall, arms crossed identically, both trying to look indifferent. TK was indeed looking over at his brother and Kari; a tear trickled down Davis's left cheek; Cody looked pissed. Mimi was still in the lobby, trying to get ahold of Izzy, who still hadn't showed up. With the exception of Sora, no one really even cared.
For a second, the pain left Yolei's face and was replaced by pure confusion, "What's intercourse?"
Matt rolled his eyes, "Sex."
The confusion remained, "What?"
And every jaw in the room dropped.
--------------------------------------
Izzy got off the subway about a mile from Odiba General. Of course, he did not notice Jun getting off right behind him; he was in too good of a mood to be paranoid. Births always made him happy for some reason - new lives coming to share the world with him… he exhaled deeply, looking around in the spring sunshine.
Seemingly out of nowhere, three tall guys, looking to be around TK and Davis's age, stepped out of one of the side streets ands into Izzy's path. They were dressed mostly in black and wore all sorts of "thuggish" apparel. The shortest one stepped forward, speaking in a mocking tone with a noticeable Spanish accent, "Yo, fag. Where you goin'?" Despite the fact that Izzy was terrified, he noticed there was a red bandana tied around his KNEE, of all places.
"The hospital - my friend is having a baby." He smiled cheerfully, trying to remain cool.
"Would that be yo' boyfriend, dawg?" The pudgiest one asked, causing the other two to burst into peals of laughter.
Being quite intelligent, Izzy figured out what was going on quickly, "Actually my fiancée… my FEMALE fiancée."
The one wearing a beanie stepped closer to Izzy, looking him from head to toe and revealing he had very bad teeth. "Oh yee-ah, I forgot about them operations dey givin' queers nowadays…" All three hooted and hollered, finding this hysterical.
Izzy looked around, panicked, when to his surprise, the girl from the coffee shop burst forth from behind him, all appendages flailing and screaming at the top of her magenta-haired lungs. He watched, horrified, as two of the thugs lifted her effortlessly into a dumpster.
"We don't take to yo' kind 'round here." Bandana-knee said, anger in his voice.
Frantically, he searched for a form of escape, but despite his genius IQ, he was coming up painfully short. "Please, I'm not hurting you," he pleaded."
He never even saw the first blow coming as Beanie-head hit him upside the head. Heard Jun cry out from inside her dumpster as he fell miserably to the pavement. Felt the stab of each of their kicks as he covered his head pathetically, trying to stop them from doing any real damage. They could kill him - he'd heard of it happening. Suddenly, he felt himself being lifted and dropped. Izzy Braced himself for a tough fall onto the asphalt, but instead, the ground felt… mushy? His eyes closed as he absorbed the overpowering smell. And then he felt blackness.
--------------------------------------
The doctor looked around awkwardly, "I'm not sure this is… the best time for this…"
Mimi sighed, bothered. She had given up on Izzy and was beginning to think of herself as a savior of sorts to Yolei's situation. "Of course it's the right time," she laughed, unrolling the nude male and female posters in front of the bed. What better place for a good ol' sex talk than a hospital?
Yolei screamed, gripping the sides of the bed tightly.
"Oh be quiet," Mimi chided, beginning. Right off the bat, she pointed to the male poster, "This is a man's…"
"Mimi," Tai spoke up, "She's gotta know this stuff, I mean… she's pregnant, for God's sake."
"I'm… not…"
"SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled.
Before Mimi could answer, Kari chimed in, "Well, it could be a virgin birth… you know… like Mary and Joseph." Instantly, ten pairs of eyes stared at her coldly, "… or maybe not…" she said timidly.
Having overcome the interruption, Mimi turned back to her posters, "As I was saying, here we can see the…"
"Oh PLEASE!" Yolei panted through contractions, "I know THAT."
Unfazed, Mimi continued, "And when a boy likes you very much, he - " she drew the pointer back, like a windup before the big pitch.
"That's enough!" Yolei's doctor objected finally. The rest of the group breathed a collective sigh of relief, "Anyways, it's about time now. Anyone who would not like to witness a live human birth may leave the room now." But everyone was long gone before he could even finish the sentence.
----------------------------------------
Without the distraction of Yolei's labor pains, the remaining Digidestined were left to their own devices. Which is never good. They sat in the waiting room, along with Spindly-man, who hadn't moved his left leg in over three hours.
Matt sat on a couch, arm around Kari, who was still relishing the reaction she was getting from TK. Tai had somehow ended up on the opposite couch, between an angry Sora and a giggly Mimi. Davis, Cody, and TK, sat on yet another, all looking as if any second they were going to explode.
"Does anyone here want to talk? About anything?" Cody asked, looking around at the hostile faces.
"Well," Davis started, "I've had some, uh, issues with my bladder recently."
Cody's eyes narrowed as both he and TK scooted a few inches away from Davis on the couch, "That's enough." Everyone sat quietly, each not wanting to be the first to speak; yet alone speak at all. "Alright," Cody continued, ever the eager therapist, "Let's start by going around in a circle and everyone apologizing for something they've done wrong."
"Hey Cody." Matt said softly, "Shut the - "
"Matt!" Mimi cut him off.
Sora broke in, "Like you have the right to tell anyone what to do, Mimi."
"Shut UP, already, Sora." TK grumbled, resenting Sora for all of his problems. From her place under Matt's protective arm, Kari shouted a couple obscenities at TK. Spindly-man looked around at them, as if he was about to faint.
Annoyed, Cody stood on top of the coffee table, "QUIET!!" To his immense surprise, they all complied. And it was at this moment that a stretcher accompanied by two doctors, some very panicked nurses, and… Davis's sister? zoomed through the waiting room, headed for the emergency wing. But before it could pass, everyone had seen the passenger… it was Izzy.
--------------------------------------
"It's a girl!" the nurse exclaimed, a huge smile on her face as she placed the tiny red-faced bundle into Yolei's arms.
"Yay!" Yolei clapped as she, cradled her baby.
The nurse's smile widened, "Should I call in your friends?"
Yolei nodded happily, but the doctor broke in, "No, before we do that, we need to talk, Yolei…" She gulped, holding her baby closer.
--------------------------------------
"Davis!" Jun sobbed, arms wound around her younger brother, "Oh, Davis, it was awful!"
Stunned, Davis tried to calm her down, "What happened?"
"We were on our way over here - " …We?… " - and these gangsters came up and they - they threw me into the dumpster and then… beat Izzy up!"
Everyone's jaw dropped yet again, even Spindly-man. "Oh my God," Mimi choked.
Jun nodded, collapsing onto the couch next to Spindly-man, who gave a little sniff. "Are you alright?" Davis asked her, looking around to see all three of the other girls in the room crying.
"Yes," she replied, "But the thing is… Izzy told them his… his girlfriend was pregnant and then they called him…. Gay!"
Abruptly, Kari stopped crying, her eyes lighting up with fresh gossip, "Girlfriend? It's IZZY'S baby? I thought he WAS gay."
At this, Jun's eyes averted to TK, to see if he took any offense. No obvious signs. She laughed, "Izzy's not GAY."
"Um, yes he is," said Mimi.
"No, he isn't!" Jun insisted.
"YES HE IS!" said everyone except Jun, Spindly-man included.
Kari's eyes twinkled on, "Not if he fathered Yolei's baby…"
Mimi rolled her eyes, "I know Izzy. He's as gay as they come." But Jun kept her eyes glued to TK, expecting some sudden outburst about the cruelty of society.
It never came, of course. But even if it had wanted to, the poor thing wouldn't have time. The smiley looking nurse walked in, smirk still spread across her Lifetime Channel-watching face; Spindly-man stood up, desperately hoping the nurse had brought him news of his wife. She had to have come to save him from these noisy teenagers and their damn angst. No such luck. Plus his leg gave out. Spindly-man gave out a cry of pain as he toppled to the waiting room floor.
The nurse turned away from the figure curled into half a fetal position with one leg sticking straight out and to the group of friends, gathering her smile back, "Your friend had her baby!" They all cheered with joy. "She's ready to see you now, come on in."
--------------------------------------
Yolei sat in her hospital bed, grinning stupidly; purple hair still matted with sweat, "Hi guys! Wanna see my baby?" She held it up.
Everyone in the room gasped as the newborn dangled, howling, from Yolei's shaky arm. The doctor scolded her as Yolei put the screaming baby down. He turned back to the group, a grim look on his face, "Her parents don't know about this, do they?"
Sora blushed, "Well, we tried to tell her mother… she didn't believe us! Not even Yolei knew until, uh, now."
"Anyways," the doctor said, shaking his head, "She can't seem to figure out who the father of the baby is."
"I didn't know THAT could get you pregnant!" Yolei piped up from behind the doctor. TK found his jaw falling open, unable to believe someone that unintelligent could function properly for an entire eighteen years.
The doctor shuddered in disgust, "Okay, Yolei. Think back nine months. Do you remember anyone that you… did… these things with?"
"Oh gosh," she said casually, "Of course." Every male in the room, save the doctor, blushed, taking a collective step back and scratching their heads in practical unison.
"How many individuals were there?"
"Dunno."
"…About?"
"I DUNNO."
At this, the baby began to cry. Leaning uncomfortably against Matt, Kari was the closest one to Yolei's bed, and as she shifted the baby's position, she got the first good look of anyone at the baby. "Why," she exclaimed, "That baby looks exactly like Ken!"
The others crowded around, interestedly looking at the black-haired, purple-eyed baby. 'Blame it on the dead one' became the unspoken plan. Plus there was an uncanny resemblance there… Random variations of "Oh yeah!" and "It does!" filled the air.
"Really?" Yolei said, looking at her daughter, "Maybe she is Ken's."
The doctor raised an eyebrow, "Which one of you is Ken?"
"Oh," TK said offhandedly, "He's dead."
"Who is he?" the doctor persisted.
Jun piped up for the first time since entering the room, and until now everyone had actually forgotten she was there. "Would that be Ken Ichijouji, the famous soccer player, computer geek, and TOTAL hottie?" she asked.
"Yes," replied Cody crossly, "AND he committed suicide about six months ago."
"Makes sense," the doctor shrugged, looking at Yolei. He was getting very sick of these people. He wrote down the name on his clipboard, not even bothering to ask how to spell 'Ichijouji'. There was a very large, very male, sigh of relief breathed as he did it. "Now Yolei," he said, looking up, "We're gonna need a name."
Yolei giggled as she adjusted the baby's weight in her arms, "I've got one all picked out…"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How's that for a cliffhanger?
I think there's two chapters left that I already have written. And then I have to write an epilogue. Which I'm putting off. Yep. Review and such…. No idea when the next one'll be up. Hopefully soon.
PS - Even I can't spell... Ken's last name. I'd like to thank... um, some website for that one.
And also, let me explain that the views of characters, minor or major, in this story are not mine. There are SERIOUS ISSUES in it. (Read the title.) And if you do happen to think they are funny… well that is not my problem. Let me just share that I am a completely tolerant individual. To quote Dave Barry, "I don't mean to make the characters offensive… they do that on their own."
Another thing I'd like to share is that the traits paired with the characters (i.e. TK the hooker, Mimi the alcoholic, Yolei the oblivious pregnant one…) were random. No joke. I wrote down the traits and gave them letters and kt (drawerfull) assigned each letter to a number… and it fell out perfectly. Whee.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Alright, miss. We need the first and last name of the father of the baby."
Yolei continued in her crusade, despite being strapped to a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, and sweating like a hippo in heat, "I'M NOT PRRRRREEEEEGGGGNANNNNTT!" she panted.
"You can give up now, honey. There's nothing we can do about it now. Just tell us his name, please." A kindly nurse interjected.
Tears streamed down Yolei's face, out of both frustration and pain, "You don't understand. I'm really not gonna have a baby!"
All of a sudden realizing that the poor girl actually did not know she was pregnant, the nurse's face softened. "Well, dear… who have you, ah, had intercourse with in er… the past year?"
The group looked on from the foot of the bed, Sora's head was leaning way down on Cody, who was at least a foot taller, 's shoulder, crying softly; Matt's arms were wrapped protectively around Kari, who was paying less attention to Yolei and her serious issues than checking to see if TK was watching her. Davis and Tai leaned against the wall, arms crossed identically, both trying to look indifferent. TK was indeed looking over at his brother and Kari; a tear trickled down Davis's left cheek; Cody looked pissed. Mimi was still in the lobby, trying to get ahold of Izzy, who still hadn't showed up. With the exception of Sora, no one really even cared.
For a second, the pain left Yolei's face and was replaced by pure confusion, "What's intercourse?"
Matt rolled his eyes, "Sex."
The confusion remained, "What?"
And every jaw in the room dropped.
--------------------------------------
Izzy got off the subway about a mile from Odiba General. Of course, he did not notice Jun getting off right behind him; he was in too good of a mood to be paranoid. Births always made him happy for some reason - new lives coming to share the world with him… he exhaled deeply, looking around in the spring sunshine.
Seemingly out of nowhere, three tall guys, looking to be around TK and Davis's age, stepped out of one of the side streets ands into Izzy's path. They were dressed mostly in black and wore all sorts of "thuggish" apparel. The shortest one stepped forward, speaking in a mocking tone with a noticeable Spanish accent, "Yo, fag. Where you goin'?" Despite the fact that Izzy was terrified, he noticed there was a red bandana tied around his KNEE, of all places.
"The hospital - my friend is having a baby." He smiled cheerfully, trying to remain cool.
"Would that be yo' boyfriend, dawg?" The pudgiest one asked, causing the other two to burst into peals of laughter.
Being quite intelligent, Izzy figured out what was going on quickly, "Actually my fiancée… my FEMALE fiancée."
The one wearing a beanie stepped closer to Izzy, looking him from head to toe and revealing he had very bad teeth. "Oh yee-ah, I forgot about them operations dey givin' queers nowadays…" All three hooted and hollered, finding this hysterical.
Izzy looked around, panicked, when to his surprise, the girl from the coffee shop burst forth from behind him, all appendages flailing and screaming at the top of her magenta-haired lungs. He watched, horrified, as two of the thugs lifted her effortlessly into a dumpster.
"We don't take to yo' kind 'round here." Bandana-knee said, anger in his voice.
Frantically, he searched for a form of escape, but despite his genius IQ, he was coming up painfully short. "Please, I'm not hurting you," he pleaded."
He never even saw the first blow coming as Beanie-head hit him upside the head. Heard Jun cry out from inside her dumpster as he fell miserably to the pavement. Felt the stab of each of their kicks as he covered his head pathetically, trying to stop them from doing any real damage. They could kill him - he'd heard of it happening. Suddenly, he felt himself being lifted and dropped. Izzy Braced himself for a tough fall onto the asphalt, but instead, the ground felt… mushy? His eyes closed as he absorbed the overpowering smell. And then he felt blackness.
--------------------------------------
The doctor looked around awkwardly, "I'm not sure this is… the best time for this…"
Mimi sighed, bothered. She had given up on Izzy and was beginning to think of herself as a savior of sorts to Yolei's situation. "Of course it's the right time," she laughed, unrolling the nude male and female posters in front of the bed. What better place for a good ol' sex talk than a hospital?
Yolei screamed, gripping the sides of the bed tightly.
"Oh be quiet," Mimi chided, beginning. Right off the bat, she pointed to the male poster, "This is a man's…"
"Mimi," Tai spoke up, "She's gotta know this stuff, I mean… she's pregnant, for God's sake."
"I'm… not…"
"SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled.
Before Mimi could answer, Kari chimed in, "Well, it could be a virgin birth… you know… like Mary and Joseph." Instantly, ten pairs of eyes stared at her coldly, "… or maybe not…" she said timidly.
Having overcome the interruption, Mimi turned back to her posters, "As I was saying, here we can see the…"
"Oh PLEASE!" Yolei panted through contractions, "I know THAT."
Unfazed, Mimi continued, "And when a boy likes you very much, he - " she drew the pointer back, like a windup before the big pitch.
"That's enough!" Yolei's doctor objected finally. The rest of the group breathed a collective sigh of relief, "Anyways, it's about time now. Anyone who would not like to witness a live human birth may leave the room now." But everyone was long gone before he could even finish the sentence.
----------------------------------------
Without the distraction of Yolei's labor pains, the remaining Digidestined were left to their own devices. Which is never good. They sat in the waiting room, along with Spindly-man, who hadn't moved his left leg in over three hours.
Matt sat on a couch, arm around Kari, who was still relishing the reaction she was getting from TK. Tai had somehow ended up on the opposite couch, between an angry Sora and a giggly Mimi. Davis, Cody, and TK, sat on yet another, all looking as if any second they were going to explode.
"Does anyone here want to talk? About anything?" Cody asked, looking around at the hostile faces.
"Well," Davis started, "I've had some, uh, issues with my bladder recently."
Cody's eyes narrowed as both he and TK scooted a few inches away from Davis on the couch, "That's enough." Everyone sat quietly, each not wanting to be the first to speak; yet alone speak at all. "Alright," Cody continued, ever the eager therapist, "Let's start by going around in a circle and everyone apologizing for something they've done wrong."
"Hey Cody." Matt said softly, "Shut the - "
"Matt!" Mimi cut him off.
Sora broke in, "Like you have the right to tell anyone what to do, Mimi."
"Shut UP, already, Sora." TK grumbled, resenting Sora for all of his problems. From her place under Matt's protective arm, Kari shouted a couple obscenities at TK. Spindly-man looked around at them, as if he was about to faint.
Annoyed, Cody stood on top of the coffee table, "QUIET!!" To his immense surprise, they all complied. And it was at this moment that a stretcher accompanied by two doctors, some very panicked nurses, and… Davis's sister? zoomed through the waiting room, headed for the emergency wing. But before it could pass, everyone had seen the passenger… it was Izzy.
--------------------------------------
"It's a girl!" the nurse exclaimed, a huge smile on her face as she placed the tiny red-faced bundle into Yolei's arms.
"Yay!" Yolei clapped as she, cradled her baby.
The nurse's smile widened, "Should I call in your friends?"
Yolei nodded happily, but the doctor broke in, "No, before we do that, we need to talk, Yolei…" She gulped, holding her baby closer.
--------------------------------------
"Davis!" Jun sobbed, arms wound around her younger brother, "Oh, Davis, it was awful!"
Stunned, Davis tried to calm her down, "What happened?"
"We were on our way over here - " …We?… " - and these gangsters came up and they - they threw me into the dumpster and then… beat Izzy up!"
Everyone's jaw dropped yet again, even Spindly-man. "Oh my God," Mimi choked.
Jun nodded, collapsing onto the couch next to Spindly-man, who gave a little sniff. "Are you alright?" Davis asked her, looking around to see all three of the other girls in the room crying.
"Yes," she replied, "But the thing is… Izzy told them his… his girlfriend was pregnant and then they called him…. Gay!"
Abruptly, Kari stopped crying, her eyes lighting up with fresh gossip, "Girlfriend? It's IZZY'S baby? I thought he WAS gay."
At this, Jun's eyes averted to TK, to see if he took any offense. No obvious signs. She laughed, "Izzy's not GAY."
"Um, yes he is," said Mimi.
"No, he isn't!" Jun insisted.
"YES HE IS!" said everyone except Jun, Spindly-man included.
Kari's eyes twinkled on, "Not if he fathered Yolei's baby…"
Mimi rolled her eyes, "I know Izzy. He's as gay as they come." But Jun kept her eyes glued to TK, expecting some sudden outburst about the cruelty of society.
It never came, of course. But even if it had wanted to, the poor thing wouldn't have time. The smiley looking nurse walked in, smirk still spread across her Lifetime Channel-watching face; Spindly-man stood up, desperately hoping the nurse had brought him news of his wife. She had to have come to save him from these noisy teenagers and their damn angst. No such luck. Plus his leg gave out. Spindly-man gave out a cry of pain as he toppled to the waiting room floor.
The nurse turned away from the figure curled into half a fetal position with one leg sticking straight out and to the group of friends, gathering her smile back, "Your friend had her baby!" They all cheered with joy. "She's ready to see you now, come on in."
--------------------------------------
Yolei sat in her hospital bed, grinning stupidly; purple hair still matted with sweat, "Hi guys! Wanna see my baby?" She held it up.
Everyone in the room gasped as the newborn dangled, howling, from Yolei's shaky arm. The doctor scolded her as Yolei put the screaming baby down. He turned back to the group, a grim look on his face, "Her parents don't know about this, do they?"
Sora blushed, "Well, we tried to tell her mother… she didn't believe us! Not even Yolei knew until, uh, now."
"Anyways," the doctor said, shaking his head, "She can't seem to figure out who the father of the baby is."
"I didn't know THAT could get you pregnant!" Yolei piped up from behind the doctor. TK found his jaw falling open, unable to believe someone that unintelligent could function properly for an entire eighteen years.
The doctor shuddered in disgust, "Okay, Yolei. Think back nine months. Do you remember anyone that you… did… these things with?"
"Oh gosh," she said casually, "Of course." Every male in the room, save the doctor, blushed, taking a collective step back and scratching their heads in practical unison.
"How many individuals were there?"
"Dunno."
"…About?"
"I DUNNO."
At this, the baby began to cry. Leaning uncomfortably against Matt, Kari was the closest one to Yolei's bed, and as she shifted the baby's position, she got the first good look of anyone at the baby. "Why," she exclaimed, "That baby looks exactly like Ken!"
The others crowded around, interestedly looking at the black-haired, purple-eyed baby. 'Blame it on the dead one' became the unspoken plan. Plus there was an uncanny resemblance there… Random variations of "Oh yeah!" and "It does!" filled the air.
"Really?" Yolei said, looking at her daughter, "Maybe she is Ken's."
The doctor raised an eyebrow, "Which one of you is Ken?"
"Oh," TK said offhandedly, "He's dead."
"Who is he?" the doctor persisted.
Jun piped up for the first time since entering the room, and until now everyone had actually forgotten she was there. "Would that be Ken Ichijouji, the famous soccer player, computer geek, and TOTAL hottie?" she asked.
"Yes," replied Cody crossly, "AND he committed suicide about six months ago."
"Makes sense," the doctor shrugged, looking at Yolei. He was getting very sick of these people. He wrote down the name on his clipboard, not even bothering to ask how to spell 'Ichijouji'. There was a very large, very male, sigh of relief breathed as he did it. "Now Yolei," he said, looking up, "We're gonna need a name."
Yolei giggled as she adjusted the baby's weight in her arms, "I've got one all picked out…"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How's that for a cliffhanger?
I think there's two chapters left that I already have written. And then I have to write an epilogue. Which I'm putting off. Yep. Review and such…. No idea when the next one'll be up. Hopefully soon.
PS - Even I can't spell... Ken's last name. I'd like to thank... um, some website for that one.