MetallicaOffspring: I am addicted to your guy's reviews! I like you people who stay up til midnight to read new fanfics!
Mizumi: ...yay! I AM THE MIZUMI!
M.O.: I will answer the reviews:
Udon- THANKS BUDDY!
Sliced- You'll find out.
Person with a Name- THANKS OTHER BUDDY!
Jen- I'm not your friend anymore. And I think kelly found out....
Moonsweet- You are wrong. Dead Wrong.
Now I will start the fic of which I will try to make long. For someone who somehow keeps bugging me: THIS IS OOC, FREAK!
-----------------------------------
Naruto's in the hospital for his butt and...he has that dreaded laptop. He also has a direct link to the fanfiction site at startup. Put two and two together and you got the notorious flamer who almost always gets his ass kicked.
Neji is LonelyNinja. He has a fetish for weasels. The boy also kicked Naruto's blonde ass. Hooray for him!
Itachi got flamed. Only a minor burn to him; but caused his poor Dell Notebook to fall to it's doom. Now, he is currently on his way to Konoha to kick some flamer ass!
--------------------
Badass001 was logged into his account to look at reviews from a bigger perspective. He was at a highway gas station run by some fat sweaty old guy. He had a computer!
It too was a Dell, laser mouse and cordless keyboard.
After being threatened to be killed on the spot, the fat sweaty old guy who ran the gas station let the badass Uchiha Itachi use the technology. We all know: Itachi must look at his reviews. And what luck, he has a few new ones!
Reviwer's Name: ilovesasuke
Signed or Anonymous: Signed
Review: U shud be dead! U MADE hIM CRY! SHme On u! DIE! chucks bomb at not-so-badass SSuk3 shud have th3 pleasur3 in beating Yur FACE IN! I really do hope u die, you fuck !
Reviwer's Name: iLOVESASUKEMORE
Signed or Anonymous: Signed
Review: if i ever find out who u r i will kill u! how could you do that to sasuke?! YUR SO MEAN! ASS! I hope u shrivel up and die ! my BOYFRIEND emphasize will kill u roughly! u shurly cant b relAtd 2 him! DIE DIE DIE!
...
Reviwer's Name: RamenFoxybox
Signed or Anonymous: Anonymous
Review: DUDE! U GOT SERIOUS ISSUES! MAN U NEED HELP! ARE YOU THE REASON WHY SASUKE WORKS HIMSELF TO DEATH AND DOESNT LIKE GIRLS? DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDEEEEEEEE!
...
Reviwer's Name: thesnakemanwhohasapetwithglasses
Signed or Anonymous: Signed
Review: This is one of my favourite fanfictions. I love how you grieve over your person's beliefs, thoughts, and strengths. It is clever and charming. So sophisticated. You are one of the most ingenious, inflammable writers I have ever even thought of reading their work. You stand out. Anyone who flames you shall perish. JOIN MY ARMY, WE CORRUPT THE MICROSOFT INDUSTRY, TAKE OVER KONOHA, AND TRASH THE DR. PEPPER COMPANY!
Okay, that last one really wasn't a flame, but it comforted Itachi. The flamers will die! He will not join whoever's army they mentioned! The Dr. Pepper company shall prevail! Itachi was utterly disturbed by the first two reviews. Fangirls of Sasuke, his very little brother. Yes, he has a RIGHT to fear the thousands of millions of trillions of bagazillions of them. Then again...he could kill them all with one swipe.
-------------------------------------
Naruto awaited the nurse to arrive to put Quartizone in him. O dear lord his ass hurt. The laptop stood silent as he continuosly punched its keys with force. They made a nice clicky sound. The fanfiction site was packed full of new fics by the minute. Every one of them he read and reviewed. Some he reviewed on nicely. Others, he flamed. There were even ones where he let Kyubi review. And oh boy, those took a very long and painful time to type up since each were flames about how Kyubi shall kill them if he ever gets ahold of their mailbox number.
As he got tired of reading and reviewing the newest fanfics, he sent his quarry somewhere else on the site. The one category he found was perfect: Sasuke. There was a major site category for fics on Sasuke. Many of them were rated R or PG-13 and stuff like that. Many of them were about how the girls loved Sasuke, kissed him, went out on a date with him, had passionate sex with him, raped him, and how their future life was with him and their two kids who too had the Sharingan. Yucko.
Naruto found that flaming each and every one of them was going to be a long and difficult job, but he set off to work, quickly typing a flame for each chapter of each story on each page of 5,723 pages full of dreams. Sadly, Naruto was not the first to flame most of the fics, but his name stood out like a sore thumb. Many girls had left sweet notes, agreed or flamed them. Who cares. It's called flaming--Naruto Style!
Naruto came across one fanfic that stood out too after about 3 hours of flaming into the sunset. 'Sasuke's A Fucking Whore' By WhiteSnowFox. It had almost 1,2899,342,6 reviews. All flames. He noticed there were only 2 boyish pen names that agreed with whoever the author is. This is the only Sasuke fanfic he liked. Oh well, back to flaming!
------------------------------
Itachi hastily made his way into the gates of Konohakagure (sp.?) as he hid his cheesy Mexican nachos from the flamingos that followed him ever since he left the Mist village that very morning. "DAMN YOU, FLAMINGOS!" he waved his fist at the glaring birds.
He had the perfect plan: Kill the flamers. All of them. Unless that one just so happened to be Kisame and the other one, Sasuke, he'd spare them. He shall do what he must...atleast when he finds out who the flamers are actually and where they live. This'll take some time. And even longer if those Flamingos started to close in on him.
-----------------------------------------
Reviwer's Name: i am a Care Bear
Signed or Anonymous: anonymous
Review: look oro, i am NOT leaving the village again and i woill NOT be your sex toy. thats kabuto's job. your fics suck-all of them. i would never join you much less be within ten feet of you.the re is no way you could kill kakashi or me. you would never betray kabuto. you have enough grease in your hair to cook a sack of french fries. get. a. life. you. are. fucked. up.
Orochimaru glanced over his new review. So may reviews--very fast reviews too. I hate you was not Sasuke? GASP! HE ISH NOT UCHIHA SASUKE! GOT YA! Anyways, Orochimaru threw up his nose and scowled. His Shania Twain (I must mock her and Dracula from Van Helsing. THEY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE EXCEPT ONE'S LESS FEMINIE!!!)
"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke...." Kabuto 'tsk-d' as he read the review. "You are sooooooo dead wrong." Kabuto's hair framed his face and shoulders. His glasses shone clean. Unfortunately, when he saw the sex-toy commet, he esploded! "Flame you down to Hell, Care Bear Boy!" Kabuto screeched as he typed a very mean and uncensored email to the Uchiha runt.
"See what happens when you mess with flamers?"
"Shut it you!"
"ARE YOU TALKING FOUL MOUTHED TO ME?! FLAMER!!!!"
"WHAT THE---"
Before he could say anything, Orochimaru was upon him and constricting the white haired minion. "Dont you ever talk back to me, flamer-maggot!" "I dont flame!" "Yes you do!" "WHA?!" "YOU FLAMED ME!" "WHO TOLD YOU?!"
Then, the flaming-rant turned out into an all-out war. Complete with forts and flying objects! Why? WHY?!
-----------------------------------
Thousands of millions of trillions of bagazillions of Sasuke fangirls all logged onto the fanfiction site and checked their reviews. Flames. Everyone had flames from RamenFoxybox. War has been declared.
Naruto was dismissed from the hospital after he had complete his flaming. But he went into a flaming craze and went psycho so the locked him up in a padded room for further diagnoses. "WAHOO! FLAME! WAGOOO! FLAMOOOO!" he continued to yell.
"Lets go kick some polar bear ass!"
The doctors looked at him struggling in the tight straight jacket. They scribbled some notes down on their clipboards and walked off. All doctors must have their coffee break.
------------------------------------
Itachi slowly crept to the Hokage's office. Amazing stealth he has! There was no one to be found at all on the streets in the middle of the twilight. It was deathly quite; so quiet that he could hear himself breathing ever so softly. He swiftly rushed into the Hokage's office. AHA! A computer! A MAC computer!
Without any knowledge on the mastering of a Macentiosh (sp.?), Itachi turned on the computer to watch a very cheery hello pop up. It was a video recording of the big busted Tsunade, all cheery and moving her torso in the shot. She smiled and yelled out "HELLO, ME!" and the hello ended. Itachi was blushing at the blue screen. Man, that was loud, but his super-sensitive ears didnt pick up any sound. Not even the dustmites could outsmart him!
Time to get to work. The Uchiha wormed his way cautiously but stupidly through the mass collection of files and folders. Finally he found the folder with a collection of all the ninjas in Konoha. Each level was sorted out neatly, in alphabetical order, and categorized by age. The genins were easy to find, and easy to search.
Itachi used the mouse to select pen namesallgeninssite: we will not say
The weasel slowly typed in each of the names of the flamers. He first stared with ZeroKitty00. It was also listed under anti-cat. The Sharingan eyes slowly read the words of whom the flamer was. "....IRUKA?!" he yelled out but slapped his mouth shut. 'IRUKA FLAMED ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!' he thought. Yes, the dolphin-boy, adorable (gagging), chunin was anti-cat?! WTF?!
Easy; Iruka's extremely allergic to kitties yet me cuddles with them evermost. Itachi grabbed a pen and wrote the name down on his visible arm.
Next: shyteddybear. Who could be shy? Who could like teddy bears? Hinata! No, Hinata is not shyteddybear! TSUNADE IS! Wow, he got flamed by the big-busted cheeze. Itachi's jaw dropped. "That's insulting..." the guy whispered into the stillness. Then, when he mastered typing, the Sharingan posseser looked up i hate you. "I hate you is..!!!"
Before he could find out the flamer's name, the door flung wide open to reveal a zombie-lookie Tsunade with half a facial mask, wrinkles, and bedhead. Horror. Tsunade flicked on a light hastily. The room was bare with a paper fluttering down onto the desk. 'What is---?" Tsunade looked down at the former tree and cocked an eyebrow. "Flamers...will...die?"
-------------------------------
Anti-cat looked at his profile just for good measure. He updated it to be perfect. It had a big sticker bug for flamers such as himself but only it was used for him. There was a big message there, a bright purple link.
"Badass001 is coming. Fear him...?" He read aloud. Then he thought for a moment. 'Why I'm Not Dead Yet.' That fic he commented on. "Oh crap..." He looked around. "When did flaming ever become so violent?"
----------------------------------
Me: Okay, short but sweet and more to come. Im trying to wrap this up in 7 chaps or less!
Mizumi: Good luck.
Me: shut it. I GOT U ALL AGAIN! HA! What will happen to all flamers?
Mizumi; You'll have your bishie kill them all.
Me: Unfortunately no. I dont know. what will happen. So long! 10/4
Mizumi: ...yay! I AM THE MIZUMI!
M.O.: I will answer the reviews:
Udon- THANKS BUDDY!
Sliced- You'll find out.
Person with a Name- THANKS OTHER BUDDY!
Jen- I'm not your friend anymore. And I think kelly found out....
Moonsweet- You are wrong. Dead Wrong.
Now I will start the fic of which I will try to make long. For someone who somehow keeps bugging me: THIS IS OOC, FREAK!
-----------------------------------
Naruto's in the hospital for his butt and...he has that dreaded laptop. He also has a direct link to the fanfiction site at startup. Put two and two together and you got the notorious flamer who almost always gets his ass kicked.
Neji is LonelyNinja. He has a fetish for weasels. The boy also kicked Naruto's blonde ass. Hooray for him!
Itachi got flamed. Only a minor burn to him; but caused his poor Dell Notebook to fall to it's doom. Now, he is currently on his way to Konoha to kick some flamer ass!
--------------------
Badass001 was logged into his account to look at reviews from a bigger perspective. He was at a highway gas station run by some fat sweaty old guy. He had a computer!
It too was a Dell, laser mouse and cordless keyboard.
After being threatened to be killed on the spot, the fat sweaty old guy who ran the gas station let the badass Uchiha Itachi use the technology. We all know: Itachi must look at his reviews. And what luck, he has a few new ones!
Reviwer's Name: ilovesasuke
Signed or Anonymous: Signed
Review: U shud be dead! U MADE hIM CRY! SHme On u! DIE! chucks bomb at not-so-badass SSuk3 shud have th3 pleasur3 in beating Yur FACE IN! I really do hope u die, you fuck !
Reviwer's Name: iLOVESASUKEMORE
Signed or Anonymous: Signed
Review: if i ever find out who u r i will kill u! how could you do that to sasuke?! YUR SO MEAN! ASS! I hope u shrivel up and die ! my BOYFRIEND emphasize will kill u roughly! u shurly cant b relAtd 2 him! DIE DIE DIE!
...
Reviwer's Name: RamenFoxybox
Signed or Anonymous: Anonymous
Review: DUDE! U GOT SERIOUS ISSUES! MAN U NEED HELP! ARE YOU THE REASON WHY SASUKE WORKS HIMSELF TO DEATH AND DOESNT LIKE GIRLS? DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDEEEEEEEE!
...
Reviwer's Name: thesnakemanwhohasapetwithglasses
Signed or Anonymous: Signed
Review: This is one of my favourite fanfictions. I love how you grieve over your person's beliefs, thoughts, and strengths. It is clever and charming. So sophisticated. You are one of the most ingenious, inflammable writers I have ever even thought of reading their work. You stand out. Anyone who flames you shall perish. JOIN MY ARMY, WE CORRUPT THE MICROSOFT INDUSTRY, TAKE OVER KONOHA, AND TRASH THE DR. PEPPER COMPANY!
Okay, that last one really wasn't a flame, but it comforted Itachi. The flamers will die! He will not join whoever's army they mentioned! The Dr. Pepper company shall prevail! Itachi was utterly disturbed by the first two reviews. Fangirls of Sasuke, his very little brother. Yes, he has a RIGHT to fear the thousands of millions of trillions of bagazillions of them. Then again...he could kill them all with one swipe.
-------------------------------------
Naruto awaited the nurse to arrive to put Quartizone in him. O dear lord his ass hurt. The laptop stood silent as he continuosly punched its keys with force. They made a nice clicky sound. The fanfiction site was packed full of new fics by the minute. Every one of them he read and reviewed. Some he reviewed on nicely. Others, he flamed. There were even ones where he let Kyubi review. And oh boy, those took a very long and painful time to type up since each were flames about how Kyubi shall kill them if he ever gets ahold of their mailbox number.
As he got tired of reading and reviewing the newest fanfics, he sent his quarry somewhere else on the site. The one category he found was perfect: Sasuke. There was a major site category for fics on Sasuke. Many of them were rated R or PG-13 and stuff like that. Many of them were about how the girls loved Sasuke, kissed him, went out on a date with him, had passionate sex with him, raped him, and how their future life was with him and their two kids who too had the Sharingan. Yucko.
Naruto found that flaming each and every one of them was going to be a long and difficult job, but he set off to work, quickly typing a flame for each chapter of each story on each page of 5,723 pages full of dreams. Sadly, Naruto was not the first to flame most of the fics, but his name stood out like a sore thumb. Many girls had left sweet notes, agreed or flamed them. Who cares. It's called flaming--Naruto Style!
Naruto came across one fanfic that stood out too after about 3 hours of flaming into the sunset. 'Sasuke's A Fucking Whore' By WhiteSnowFox. It had almost 1,2899,342,6 reviews. All flames. He noticed there were only 2 boyish pen names that agreed with whoever the author is. This is the only Sasuke fanfic he liked. Oh well, back to flaming!
------------------------------
Itachi hastily made his way into the gates of Konohakagure (sp.?) as he hid his cheesy Mexican nachos from the flamingos that followed him ever since he left the Mist village that very morning. "DAMN YOU, FLAMINGOS!" he waved his fist at the glaring birds.
He had the perfect plan: Kill the flamers. All of them. Unless that one just so happened to be Kisame and the other one, Sasuke, he'd spare them. He shall do what he must...atleast when he finds out who the flamers are actually and where they live. This'll take some time. And even longer if those Flamingos started to close in on him.
-----------------------------------------
Reviwer's Name: i am a Care Bear
Signed or Anonymous: anonymous
Review: look oro, i am NOT leaving the village again and i woill NOT be your sex toy. thats kabuto's job. your fics suck-all of them. i would never join you much less be within ten feet of you.the re is no way you could kill kakashi or me. you would never betray kabuto. you have enough grease in your hair to cook a sack of french fries. get. a. life. you. are. fucked. up.
Orochimaru glanced over his new review. So may reviews--very fast reviews too. I hate you was not Sasuke? GASP! HE ISH NOT UCHIHA SASUKE! GOT YA! Anyways, Orochimaru threw up his nose and scowled. His Shania Twain (I must mock her and Dracula from Van Helsing. THEY LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE EXCEPT ONE'S LESS FEMINIE!!!)
"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke...." Kabuto 'tsk-d' as he read the review. "You are sooooooo dead wrong." Kabuto's hair framed his face and shoulders. His glasses shone clean. Unfortunately, when he saw the sex-toy commet, he esploded! "Flame you down to Hell, Care Bear Boy!" Kabuto screeched as he typed a very mean and uncensored email to the Uchiha runt.
"See what happens when you mess with flamers?"
"Shut it you!"
"ARE YOU TALKING FOUL MOUTHED TO ME?! FLAMER!!!!"
"WHAT THE---"
Before he could say anything, Orochimaru was upon him and constricting the white haired minion. "Dont you ever talk back to me, flamer-maggot!" "I dont flame!" "Yes you do!" "WHA?!" "YOU FLAMED ME!" "WHO TOLD YOU?!"
Then, the flaming-rant turned out into an all-out war. Complete with forts and flying objects! Why? WHY?!
-----------------------------------
Thousands of millions of trillions of bagazillions of Sasuke fangirls all logged onto the fanfiction site and checked their reviews. Flames. Everyone had flames from RamenFoxybox. War has been declared.
Naruto was dismissed from the hospital after he had complete his flaming. But he went into a flaming craze and went psycho so the locked him up in a padded room for further diagnoses. "WAHOO! FLAME! WAGOOO! FLAMOOOO!" he continued to yell.
"Lets go kick some polar bear ass!"
The doctors looked at him struggling in the tight straight jacket. They scribbled some notes down on their clipboards and walked off. All doctors must have their coffee break.
------------------------------------
Itachi slowly crept to the Hokage's office. Amazing stealth he has! There was no one to be found at all on the streets in the middle of the twilight. It was deathly quite; so quiet that he could hear himself breathing ever so softly. He swiftly rushed into the Hokage's office. AHA! A computer! A MAC computer!
Without any knowledge on the mastering of a Macentiosh (sp.?), Itachi turned on the computer to watch a very cheery hello pop up. It was a video recording of the big busted Tsunade, all cheery and moving her torso in the shot. She smiled and yelled out "HELLO, ME!" and the hello ended. Itachi was blushing at the blue screen. Man, that was loud, but his super-sensitive ears didnt pick up any sound. Not even the dustmites could outsmart him!
Time to get to work. The Uchiha wormed his way cautiously but stupidly through the mass collection of files and folders. Finally he found the folder with a collection of all the ninjas in Konoha. Each level was sorted out neatly, in alphabetical order, and categorized by age. The genins were easy to find, and easy to search.
Itachi used the mouse to select pen namesallgeninssite: we will not say
The weasel slowly typed in each of the names of the flamers. He first stared with ZeroKitty00. It was also listed under anti-cat. The Sharingan eyes slowly read the words of whom the flamer was. "....IRUKA?!" he yelled out but slapped his mouth shut. 'IRUKA FLAMED ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!' he thought. Yes, the dolphin-boy, adorable (gagging), chunin was anti-cat?! WTF?!
Easy; Iruka's extremely allergic to kitties yet me cuddles with them evermost. Itachi grabbed a pen and wrote the name down on his visible arm.
Next: shyteddybear. Who could be shy? Who could like teddy bears? Hinata! No, Hinata is not shyteddybear! TSUNADE IS! Wow, he got flamed by the big-busted cheeze. Itachi's jaw dropped. "That's insulting..." the guy whispered into the stillness. Then, when he mastered typing, the Sharingan posseser looked up i hate you. "I hate you is..!!!"
Before he could find out the flamer's name, the door flung wide open to reveal a zombie-lookie Tsunade with half a facial mask, wrinkles, and bedhead. Horror. Tsunade flicked on a light hastily. The room was bare with a paper fluttering down onto the desk. 'What is---?" Tsunade looked down at the former tree and cocked an eyebrow. "Flamers...will...die?"
-------------------------------
Anti-cat looked at his profile just for good measure. He updated it to be perfect. It had a big sticker bug for flamers such as himself but only it was used for him. There was a big message there, a bright purple link.
"Badass001 is coming. Fear him...?" He read aloud. Then he thought for a moment. 'Why I'm Not Dead Yet.' That fic he commented on. "Oh crap..." He looked around. "When did flaming ever become so violent?"
----------------------------------
Me: Okay, short but sweet and more to come. Im trying to wrap this up in 7 chaps or less!
Mizumi: Good luck.
Me: shut it. I GOT U ALL AGAIN! HA! What will happen to all flamers?
Mizumi; You'll have your bishie kill them all.
Me: Unfortunately no. I dont know. what will happen. So long! 10/4