(Hell yes, I'm moving along...sorry for the delay)
Chapter one: Where oh where has the old man gone?
Insert 400 pages of boring home life here.
After Ron and Hermione has finished fighting off the deranged house elves of doom, the quickly made their way to the train station. Harry, sadly, could not make it to school this year due to the increasing amount of clean, but unfolded laundry in the Dursley household. Although it had been a mildly exciting summer, nobody really cared about that crap, and it seemed so excruciatingly long. In fact, summer vacation had seemed longer and longer every time it came about. Everyone just wanted to get back to school where the REAL excitement was.
So, to cut down a little bit more on what I could really, really drag out, the two hopped into the Weasly's family car, sped of the train station, and zoomed off to Hogwarts.
Yes, feel free to marvel how I just skipped so many details that your head is spinning now. But at least you didn't have to read 10 chapters of crap.
Anyway, as the two reached the great hall for the sorting and the feast, they realized a certain amount of tension in the air. The professors were shooting each other nervous glances, and whispering in a way they must have considered discretely.
"What do you think has got everyone in a stir?" Hermione asked Ron, who shook his head, wondering the same thing himself. They took their seats at the Gryffindor table, and listened to the gossip from the kids around them.
"I heard Snape poisoned Dumbledore and now schools going to be out for a whole year" Neville Longbottom said with a twisted smile. Neville had some personal problems that were rarely revealed to the public, but that's a completely different story.
"Shut up Neville, you're fat and nobody likes you." Ron said.
"But..." Neville started
"No," Ron cut him off, "you're dumb, you're ugly, you're a waste of oxygen, and you need to shut up."
"Ron!" Hermione protested. "I've never seen you like this! I really quite like it!" she smiled a naughty grin, and then she...
Oh, I'm forgetting that this is for kids again...
Anyway, at the head of the room Professor McGonagall was silencing the murmuring with her waving hand. Everyone focused on her, and wondered what was going on. She looked a little teary eyed, and her lips were drawn into a tight line. Hermione and Ron weren't the only ones to notice that Professor Snape, and Dumbledore were missing from the head table. Neville shot Ron a smug look.
"Excuse me for not informing you all on what is going on, but we will go through the sorting and then all of you will be lead directly to your rooms, "she said, and then sat down, causing the room to explode in angry shouts, but everyone quickly quieted as the old gray hat on a stool in the front of the room cleared its "throat" (or the hat equivalent).
The first years looked extremely nervous, and Ron laughed aloud at the sight of one particularly funny looking one, causing the entire room to look at him. "Oh...umm..." he scrambled for something to say, but the hat saved him with an enormous yawn.
All of a sudden it burst into song.
"I sit on this damned stool 364 days a year. And up until this day I've never shed a tear. You don't seem to realize what it's like being a hat. Nope, you're all humans, just ugly dumb and fat
So that's it, I'm done, this is my very last song. I've been working at this gay job for much too long. I'm done singing and I'm done with you all. And as far as I am concerned, my anger is your fault
So don't sit me on your greasy hair. Don't touch me with your sticky hands. Because, you know frankly I don't care. And I'm not taking your demands"
And with that, the hat fell silent, and everyone in the great hall gaped.
"Well, err, from you to you, "professor McGonagall pointed to a group of children," You are in Slytherian, and you all are in Gryffindor, and the rest of you...oh, the hell with it, go where you want, and then get to your rooms" and everyone scurried about.
Chapter two intermission!
Harry sat in the darkness of his room missing Hogwarts, and decided he needed some banana pudding. He crept from his bed and to his trunk of things, and opened it up, only to reveal that, gasp, his invisibility cloak was missing!
Back to the action! (And I swear, that had nothing to do with Dumbledore gone missing!)
As everyone made their way to their rooms, they heard a mysterious laughing from under the stairwell. But everyone just assumed it was peeves, and someone said "Shut up peeves, get a life!" and the laughter abruptly stopped.
But had anyone listened closer there was still a soft giggling, summing from under the stairs, under an invisibility cloak...
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
Hehehe, sorry about the immense amount of gayness in this chapter, but I was having some trouble writing. But hey, I got it done! And, this goes out "to my happenin' laddie from the FC, Nikos! You da lad!" And to Lauren, once again. Both of them are just so freaking cool...
Chapter one: Where oh where has the old man gone?
Insert 400 pages of boring home life here.
After Ron and Hermione has finished fighting off the deranged house elves of doom, the quickly made their way to the train station. Harry, sadly, could not make it to school this year due to the increasing amount of clean, but unfolded laundry in the Dursley household. Although it had been a mildly exciting summer, nobody really cared about that crap, and it seemed so excruciatingly long. In fact, summer vacation had seemed longer and longer every time it came about. Everyone just wanted to get back to school where the REAL excitement was.
So, to cut down a little bit more on what I could really, really drag out, the two hopped into the Weasly's family car, sped of the train station, and zoomed off to Hogwarts.
Yes, feel free to marvel how I just skipped so many details that your head is spinning now. But at least you didn't have to read 10 chapters of crap.
Anyway, as the two reached the great hall for the sorting and the feast, they realized a certain amount of tension in the air. The professors were shooting each other nervous glances, and whispering in a way they must have considered discretely.
"What do you think has got everyone in a stir?" Hermione asked Ron, who shook his head, wondering the same thing himself. They took their seats at the Gryffindor table, and listened to the gossip from the kids around them.
"I heard Snape poisoned Dumbledore and now schools going to be out for a whole year" Neville Longbottom said with a twisted smile. Neville had some personal problems that were rarely revealed to the public, but that's a completely different story.
"Shut up Neville, you're fat and nobody likes you." Ron said.
"But..." Neville started
"No," Ron cut him off, "you're dumb, you're ugly, you're a waste of oxygen, and you need to shut up."
"Ron!" Hermione protested. "I've never seen you like this! I really quite like it!" she smiled a naughty grin, and then she...
Oh, I'm forgetting that this is for kids again...
Anyway, at the head of the room Professor McGonagall was silencing the murmuring with her waving hand. Everyone focused on her, and wondered what was going on. She looked a little teary eyed, and her lips were drawn into a tight line. Hermione and Ron weren't the only ones to notice that Professor Snape, and Dumbledore were missing from the head table. Neville shot Ron a smug look.
"Excuse me for not informing you all on what is going on, but we will go through the sorting and then all of you will be lead directly to your rooms, "she said, and then sat down, causing the room to explode in angry shouts, but everyone quickly quieted as the old gray hat on a stool in the front of the room cleared its "throat" (or the hat equivalent).
The first years looked extremely nervous, and Ron laughed aloud at the sight of one particularly funny looking one, causing the entire room to look at him. "Oh...umm..." he scrambled for something to say, but the hat saved him with an enormous yawn.
All of a sudden it burst into song.
"I sit on this damned stool 364 days a year. And up until this day I've never shed a tear. You don't seem to realize what it's like being a hat. Nope, you're all humans, just ugly dumb and fat
So that's it, I'm done, this is my very last song. I've been working at this gay job for much too long. I'm done singing and I'm done with you all. And as far as I am concerned, my anger is your fault
So don't sit me on your greasy hair. Don't touch me with your sticky hands. Because, you know frankly I don't care. And I'm not taking your demands"
And with that, the hat fell silent, and everyone in the great hall gaped.
"Well, err, from you to you, "professor McGonagall pointed to a group of children," You are in Slytherian, and you all are in Gryffindor, and the rest of you...oh, the hell with it, go where you want, and then get to your rooms" and everyone scurried about.
Chapter two intermission!
Harry sat in the darkness of his room missing Hogwarts, and decided he needed some banana pudding. He crept from his bed and to his trunk of things, and opened it up, only to reveal that, gasp, his invisibility cloak was missing!
Back to the action! (And I swear, that had nothing to do with Dumbledore gone missing!)
As everyone made their way to their rooms, they heard a mysterious laughing from under the stairwell. But everyone just assumed it was peeves, and someone said "Shut up peeves, get a life!" and the laughter abruptly stopped.
But had anyone listened closer there was still a soft giggling, summing from under the stairs, under an invisibility cloak...
UNTIL NEXT TIME!
Hehehe, sorry about the immense amount of gayness in this chapter, but I was having some trouble writing. But hey, I got it done! And, this goes out "to my happenin' laddie from the FC, Nikos! You da lad!" And to Lauren, once again. Both of them are just so freaking cool...