CHAPTER SEVEN: BRING ALONG BALDY

Jack sat at the table in his cabin, the very same one where unbeknownst to Jack, Barbossa had watched Elizabeth eat only months before. He was fiddling with the beads in his hair, wondering if maybe it was time to add some new ones, when there was a knock on the cabin door. After hollering something inaudible, Huygen entered with the two strangers in tow.

The irritation that the lass had showed that morning didn't only seemed to have gotten worse, but now it was also directed on one single person, namely Jack himself. The vicious glare she was throwing his way made him want to cringe and shrink deeper into the chair. But what kind of a captain would he be if he cowered under a woman's mere gaze? Besides, she looked sexy all worked up.

With a sort of drunken grace, he swung his feet off the table and stood up, a lascivious grin curling his delectable lips. "Miss Chloe, I'm pleased to see that ye accepted me offer." He was rewarded with a snort as she just went ahead and seated herself, taking a large gulp of the wine-filled goblet that awaited her there.

"First of all," she began, voice harsh as she kept her eyes trained on the Captain that had already returned to his previous position, watching her intently. "It wasn't presented as an offer. Secondly, I haven't eaten since the freakin' twenty-first century and no way in hell am I gonna say no to food. I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy."

At this, the grin on Jack's face only widened, turning from lecherous to amused. "I apoligize for any discomfort-" cut off by a loud huff, he rolled his eyes, getting more than a little annoyed by her wordless displays of dissatisfaction. "But," he continued on. "let's jus' leave that in the past and look towards our future-" Chloe scoffed. "Will ye just let me bloody finish, woman!" Silence. "Where was I? Oh yes, our...."

This time, it was him who trailed off, finally noticing the two other persons in the room. Head snapping to his right, Jack eyed Lex warily, fully aware of the other man's scowl. "Huygen, what's he doin' here?" he questioned, keeping his gaze on the billionaire for a little while longer before relocating it to his second mate.

Huygen, who had been waiting for any sign that he was excused, just shrugged, looking as innocent as a pirate could. "Ye asked fo' me to bring 'em both, Capt'n."

Letting his head fall, Jack rubbed his temples, trying to wrap his mind around the man's stupidity. In what way did 'I want to be dining with some female company' sound like 'Bring along baldy'? "Huygen?"

"Aye, Capt'n?"

"Go join the others in the galley." He thought about ordering him to take Lex back to the brig first, but he feared that it would not make such a good impression on the petit blonde, who was currently busying herself nibbling on a piece of chicken.

"Thank you, sir." Huygen nodded and left immediately, not having to be told twice.

Lex, after having been forgotten, had taken the liberty to place himself at the table to Sparrow's right, since Chloe had already taken his left. It was clear to him that Jack had taken a liking to the young reporter, and the worries that he'd been having a little while back started to resurface again, making his body tense up. He was able to relax a bit at Chloe's obviously hostile reply, but wasn't put entirely at ease. He himself could vividly remember all the times her snark had only managed to... stimulate him more.

Raising the wine to her lips, Chloe surveyed the situation. Huygen had apparently fled and left Lex to glare at Jack, who was throwing rather amusing glances back at him. This continued on for a while longer, and any other person would've been dying under the uncomfortable tension, but not Chloe. It was true when she said she hadn't eaten in a long time. The last meal she'd had was the morning before breaking into the Luthorcorp branch, and that felt like forever.

Her musings were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Jack, who had gotten tired of the awkwardness that had descended upon them, let out a dramatic sigh as he reached for the rum bottle. Dazzling the lass with his charm was going to be much more difficult now that Baldy was there. "Ye said earlier that there was a mut'ny on yer ship. Where were you heading?"

"Home," Chloe answered between bites, not even bothering to look up.

The Captain forced a smile onto his face. "An' where, pray tell, would that be?"

Lex noticed the way Chloe's attitude was affecting the pirate, and decided to cut in. "England."

"Funny. Ye don' have accents." The suspicion was obvious.

"We travel a lot."

"So the two of ye are related?"

"We're close." Giving the other man a hard, meaningful look, he added. "Very close." If he could get the other man to think that he and Sullivan were romantically involved, hopefully he would back off. Unfortunately, Sparrow didn't seem to be getting the message, or did, and just didn't care. The almost sinister grin confirmed the latter.

"Things change."

"Opposed to bodily functions." Interrupting them, Chloe stood up. "Where can I find the bathroom?" she asked, staring intently at Jack, who just frowned back at her.

"A what, luv?"

Rolling her eyes, she tried to ignore how completely adorable the man looked confused. "You know, the ladiesroom, toilet, john-" she cut herself off as she remembered where exactly they were, or to be more precise, when.

Finally realizing just what the lass was blabbering on about, an almost thriumphant grin formed. "The privy's below deck. Jus' walk till ye reach the end of the hall. Ye'll find a door there. If ye want, I can show-"

"Oh no, it's okay. I think I can handle it on my own, thanx."

Nodding, both men watched her disappear from the cabin, silence once again reigning. Lex and Jack glanced at each other for a long, tense moment, each unsure of what to say or do.

"So..."

"Yeah."

A beat.

"Rum?"

"What do you think?"

She couldn't believe this was happening. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was stuck in the past with the cast of Muppet Treasure Island, only without the muppets, treasure, or island.

Grumbling, Chloe could just keep herself from banging into the wall for the millionth time. She wasn't used to being on a ship, and the constant rocking was more than just annoying. It was outright dangerous. Earlier, when walking down the stairs, she fell from the last few steps, falling flat on her face.

Rubbing her still aching nose, Chloe saw that she had already reached the end of the hallway, and opened the door. The smell that attacked her was inhuman, and she wobbled a few steps back, trying to keep herself from retching. "You've gotta be kiddin' me," she muttered, squeezing her nose shut tightly. This was worse than the time she'd babysitted her nephew and had to clean his diaper.

Both men were eating quietly, minding their own business, when they accidentily reached for the peanut-bowl at the same time. Exchanging looks, Lex squared his jaw, ripping the bowl out of Jack's grasp. "I had them first."

Surprised flashed in the Captain's eyes for a mere second, but was soon replaced by cool anger. "This' my ship, lad."

"Doesn't mean they're yours," he replied back snidely, grabbing the nuts and raising them to his mouth.

Jack dangerously narrowed his eyes. "Ye wouldn't dare." Lex just smirked, popping them into his mouth one by one. That was the last straw. The pirate leaned forward, quickly stealing a bun from the other man's plate, making Lex's eyes grow wide.

"Hey! That's mine!"

"No' anymore, mate."

"You stole it from me!"

"I'm a pirate! What did ye expect?"

"Give it back!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"It likes me mo'e!"

"It's only just met you!"

They were nose to nose by now, each trying to stare the other down, but neither willing to admit defeat. "Give it up!"

"Never!"

As Lex tried to grab it, Jack held it above his head. Unfortunately for him, they were about the same size, so it didn't help much. What came next, he wasn't expecting. Lex dropkicked Jack, making the pirate release the bun and crumpling down to nurse his wounded shin. "Ye fight like a girl!"

"You look like one!"

Infuriated, Jack totally forgot about his injury and used his leg to swipe Lex's out from under him. With a loud thud, the bald man hit the wooden floor, taking a moment to process what had happened. "You bastard!"

"Ye say it like its a bad thing," Jack replied, undignified. Hands finally having found their target, his frown was replaced by a broad grin. "Besides, I've got the bun." His victory, however, was short lived as the other man lunged for him, knocking them both to the ground again.

And the fight continued.

Chloe paused to breathe in the fresh, salty air, while making her way across the deck again. You only start to really appreciate it after visiting the seventeenth century and its gruesome, horrific, sickening, atrocious, horrendous, abominable odors.

Feeling a bit better, she continued on up the steps, not even bothering to knock as she reached the cabin. The scene that greeted her upon entering, however, she could've lived without.

"Get off me!" Came a shout from under the table, sounding very much like the Captain's, but her sight was blocked by the large tablecloth.

"Then let go of my bun!"

"It's me bun now! Unless ye wanna cough up me nuts!"

"Too late, isn't it? Now get- AHH! Will you point that weapon somewhere else? It's poking me!"

"No! And yer not getting me bun!" Incoherent sounds. "Ye bit it!!"

"And it tasted goooood..."

"That's it! Yer..."

Fumbling to close the door behind her, Chloe's eyes were wide with horror. 'Those two sure don't beat around the bush. My god! I guess I always knew Lex was gay... subconsciously. I mean, it's quite obvious now that I think about it. Two marriages that didn't last longer than a week, intelligent, great conversationalist, perfect dresser, those purple shirts. Oh, the purple! Well, nothing I can do but accept it. If he's happy-' she winced as another cry came from inside the cabin. 'Then who am I to stand in the way, right?'

Not really wanting to go inside, she turned to go explore the ship, only to find the door opening behind her, a panting Lex standing at the threshold. "What are you doing out there?"

"I just, ehh..."

"Come in."

Uncomfortably stepping inside, Chloe failed to notice Lex rubbing the spot where the butt of Jack's sword had been pressing into his side. She sat down at the table, inspecting the pirate out of the corner if her eye. 'How could I NOT have noticed before? What guy wears beads in his hair? And the hands? I've never met a guy who's hands were so... out there.'

"So, luv," Jack breathed, flashing her his most charming smile while subtly kicking a few pieces of torn bread under the table. "Where were we?"

TBC