There is a thin line between heaven and earth. A line which holds nothing and consists of nothing. It was the line I dangled from.
The only colour I could see was black. It was so black, I could feel the colour on my skin, I could taste the nothingness on my tongue, and I could breathe the emptiness into my lungs. I felt as thought I was surrounded by an object, or several objects, not a colour.
Then all the answers came to me. All the answers in the world. The questions I had asked in the past, and had no response to, I knew the answers. I knew the unanswered questions of the universe, and some questions I couldn't imagine could be possible.
With this knowledge, I wanted to speak. But no words came out. It wouldn't have mattered anyways; no one was there to listen. I could not have found a worst time to know all there was to know.
So I waited. The moments seemed endless, and the thoughts in my mind grew old and unworthy. I wanted nothing else but to escape this horrid place and continue on, with either life or death, whatever I was doomed to.
Death was my first guess, and I was correct. After what seemed to be days of emptiness, I heard a sweet voice, as pure as honey.
"You lost, sweet?"
I tried to nod, answer, or do anything to tell the voice "Yes! Yes! Come help me, I am so alone!" But I could not voice or make a sound.
"Come here." And I felt hands rise me up, and out of the darkness. It was as thought I was sitting in a dark box all the time, and all I needed to do was stand and open the top.
Light hurt my eyes as I opened then, and my legs and arms felt sore and tired, as thought I had been running the whole time.
The woman who picked me up had a beautiful white dress on, with her golden blonde hair up in white flowers, and her smile shone.
"What's your name, newcomer?" The woman asked.
"Ilana." I responded, finding my voice at last.
"What a pretty name, Ilana. " The angel smiled. I tried to smile to, but I could not find a happy face.
There where many people in Heaven. Not crowed, it felt just perfect. I figured that was how it was suppose to be. Heaven I mean.
Perfect.
The air was fresh and sweet, and it smelled like flowers.
Perfect.
The ground was wet with dew and the birds where out singing it the trees.
Perfect.
It looked like, earth… only…
Perfect.
There was a group of kids, all in white dresses and cute white pants, playing with a hop and a stick. They laughed as the hop fell over, and a little boy picked it up and they continued to roll it again.
Perfect.
A cat walked by a little cottage, that was surrounded by flowers and trees, and an old woman came out, and feed it milk out of a bowl. The woman looked very old, but was very graceful and beautiful.
Perfect.
The woman who was holding onto me let me down gently. I stood up and looked down at myself. I was wearing a white dress, like the others, and no shoes. I loved being barefoot.
"Well, Ilana, do you want to come to my cottage for cookies and milk?" The woman asked. I smiled and nodded. She took my hand we walked.
When we arrived, I was almost in tears with joy. It was a house, almost like my own, with trees surrounding it, and the perfect size.
"Like it?" The woman asked.
"I love it!" I was bewildered.
We went in, and it felt perfect. The house was so bright and warm. The windows where all open and the birds pitched on them, whistling for some attention.
I sat down at the kitchen table, basking in the light of the sun that clawed its way threw the drapes that swayed softly in the breeze.
The lady angel pulled out a fresh cartoon of milk and a tin of cookies that looked as thought they had not been touched. I took the two biggest ones I could find and started to drink my milk when she finally told me her name.
"I haven't told to you my name, sweet." She commented, smiling sweetly at me. I sat up straight and nodded. "My name is Allyson."
It fit her perfectly. Allyson. Oh it was such a beautiful name!
"I see it fit to tell you my story, if you tell me yours, sweet." She smiled.
"It was my birthday bash, and I was turning thirty. I had a small quite party with my parents and sisters. My best friend was coming to pick me up to take me to a movie later on that night. My boyfriend was going to met us there. At ten my best friend drove up and I kissed my parents goodbye for the night. " She seemed really wanting to tell me this story, even though I had no asked. She was very involved with the plot, as thought she was reading me a story, not telling me about her death. I nodded again and she continued.
"The drive there was the thing that killed me. See the brakes where broken." Allyson sighed.
I was shocked. It wasn't much different from the way I died then, except her was less violent. Her story made my eyes widen. I wondered why she was telling me this in such detail to a seven year old.
"My friend, Rosemary, lived, but she's in a wheel chair. When she freaked out, she drove us into the wall, and she hit against my side. I was never in the 'I am so mad at her, I must get back at her', no, I know she didn't mean it."
I asked her what would have happened if she blamed her friend for her death.
"Humans who die, and truly believe it was not their fault, and someone else's, they are not angels at rest. They roam around the earth, for decades, searching for a reason. But they are not able to communicate with anyone on earth, and can not hurt anyone."
"Why do humans believe they see unknown, picking objects up or hurting others?"
"Those are unknown spirits, left to roam the real world. Most of them were not allowed to enter heaven, for whatever reason, but where not damn enough for hell. They roam the earth in search of their reason for not getting into heaven."
I asked another question, while picking at my cookie. "Why do they hurt people?"
"They can not in any way harm a human, but they can make objects move. Not far, maybe just knock something down, but they can only do such things as long as no living creature is in harm. Humans rarely see the occurrences, but when they do, they usually enlarge the real story from what they actually saw." Allyson nodded to herself, as if to make sure her information was correct.
I, myself, had always believed in the ghosts that ran around in sheets and rattled chains. I was never afraid, I just believed in them. My mum had told me once that when she was out walking Sammie, our dog, that she saw a girl in a white dress, and my mother could see right threw the girl. My father told her that she was seeing things and must be delirious. My mother shook the idea of ever seeing the white clothed girl out of her head and never brought it up again.
"Miss Allyson?"
She raised her eyes to meet mine, and muttered, "Hmm?"
"I miss my mummy."
It was the first time I had called my mother mummy. I had always called her mother, or Mary. My father was always a daddy to me, but I loved to call my mum, Mother. I just suited her. But right then, I felt so overcome with saddens, I just let out whatever I was going to say, And that happened to be Mummy.
"I know you do sweet, but would you like me to take care of you up here?" Alyson reached out and took my shaking hands in her own.
I nodded, and sniffled, a few tears running down my face.
"That's a god girl."
Dinner was followed by my favorite game of cards, go fish.
"Got any fours?" Allyson smiled, her eyes rising.
"No go fish." I giggled, and pushed the top card on the pile towards her.
"Got any….queens?" I asked.
"Oh, your good." She whispered, her head ducked low beneath the cards, her smile creeping up to met with the ends of the card edges.
"I know." I hot my hand on the table, laughing again, as she threw me the black queen of spades.
"I win!" I layed down my last two cards, and we counted up our pairs. Of course, as I said, I had won.
"What a good player you are." Allyson cooed at me. I straightened up, and grinned playfully.
"I learnt from the best."
"Who?"
"My dad…" My face feel. I just released, for the first time in a while, why I was sitting her and not playing with my real family.
"Ilana, I'm-"Allyson started, reaching for my hand, but I took it back and my eyes filled with tears.
"Is he dead?"
"Who, sweetie?" Allyson asked.
"My dad. Did he die when we drive into the other car too?"
Allyson's face developed into a mess of wrinkles as she scrunched up her nose and cheeks. "No… He did not. He broke his arm, and broke both his legs. His chest was burnt from the airbag. He's still in the hospital. They think that he will make a perfect recovery."
"He's ok?" I asked, again, to make sure.
"Yes, he will be fine." Allyson paused. "Want to go to bed now?"
I nodded and we go up.
I had my own room, looking out to the sky and trees. I felt at home, and my bed was so comfy I feel asleep instantly.