Her coffee cup had long gone dry, but she put the
thick ceramic to her lips and tried to drink anyway. Slowly, everything
Spike had just said was beginning to sink in, and given time, she
actually believed she would be able to comprehend it all. But not right
now. Right now the words bounced around her head like undecipherable
hieroglyphics.
Spike had noticed her staring off into space, but made every effort to avoid looking at her. He wasn't ready to see her reaction, not yet, so he focused on his hands once again. His hands were more predictable that Buffy was.
He didn't notice her crying, she thought as she sunk lower in the crushed velvet seat. And that just made her cry even more.
She sniffed. Spike looked up, shocked, and immediately got up and went to comfort her. She wiped a tear on her sleeve and pushed him away.
"No" she smiled. "I think I'm happy." Spike didn't understand but backed away just the same. She laughed as she cried even more, "I'm fine, these are happy tears. Happy." She realized what she had just said. She was happy. Was she? She was so confused. Her life was slowly calming down, and then Spike comes bringing up so much of the past. He was alive. He was a champion. He was human. But...oh, but what? She rested her head on her hands and began to bite her nails as she mentally tried to sort out her feelings.
You were happy. Life was good. Life was simple. Spike died. You were getting over it. But Spike comes back. It's now almost a year later and you find out that the man that you spent so much time trying to forget is back. How do you feel about this?
I think I'm happy. I missed him. But a part of me doesn't want him back either. Life with him was almost always followed by hurt. I don't like hurt.
She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. But he's human. Human. Once again he risked his life to save the world, and this time he was rewarded. He fulfilled the Sanshu prophecy, he was human again. Oh, she wanted him back in her life so badly. She really did feel for him, if not love, but it was something.
She opened her eyes and looked back up at him. "I need time" she said. This she was confident about. The one thing her mind was telling her that she knew was absolutely true. She needed time.
He nodded in approval. He had time, not forever anymore, but just as much as she did. He smiled, just as much as she did.
Spike had noticed her staring off into space, but made every effort to avoid looking at her. He wasn't ready to see her reaction, not yet, so he focused on his hands once again. His hands were more predictable that Buffy was.
He didn't notice her crying, she thought as she sunk lower in the crushed velvet seat. And that just made her cry even more.
She sniffed. Spike looked up, shocked, and immediately got up and went to comfort her. She wiped a tear on her sleeve and pushed him away.
"No" she smiled. "I think I'm happy." Spike didn't understand but backed away just the same. She laughed as she cried even more, "I'm fine, these are happy tears. Happy." She realized what she had just said. She was happy. Was she? She was so confused. Her life was slowly calming down, and then Spike comes bringing up so much of the past. He was alive. He was a champion. He was human. But...oh, but what? She rested her head on her hands and began to bite her nails as she mentally tried to sort out her feelings.
You were happy. Life was good. Life was simple. Spike died. You were getting over it. But Spike comes back. It's now almost a year later and you find out that the man that you spent so much time trying to forget is back. How do you feel about this?
I think I'm happy. I missed him. But a part of me doesn't want him back either. Life with him was almost always followed by hurt. I don't like hurt.
She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes. But he's human. Human. Once again he risked his life to save the world, and this time he was rewarded. He fulfilled the Sanshu prophecy, he was human again. Oh, she wanted him back in her life so badly. She really did feel for him, if not love, but it was something.
She opened her eyes and looked back up at him. "I need time" she said. This she was confident about. The one thing her mind was telling her that she knew was absolutely true. She needed time.
He nodded in approval. He had time, not forever anymore, but just as much as she did. He smiled, just as much as she did.