Author's Notes:  Wow! Thanks to all the people who reviewed the first chapter.  Everyone gets 10 brownie points!  Oh, and as always BE KIND REWIND! On with the story.

Harry was sitting in the hallway one day, casually reading a book called "Courageous Animal Stories".  He had just finished the tale about Bobert, the Wonder Dog, that saved 50 people from a burning building while still managing to give CPR to a passed out baby.  Then, out of nowhere a pile of envelopes fell on him.  Dudley walked in and yelled, "ENVELOPE FIGHT!"

For a moment in time, Dudley and Harry were getting along, playing in the sea of envelopes.  Well, up until the point when Harry threw an envelope at Dudley and it poked his eye.  Harry got the crap beaten at of him.

After, a very bruised Harry finally put two and two together; he picked up an envelope and was proceeding to open it. But alas, Uncle Vernon snatched it out of his hand, and for inexplicable reasons took the whole family to a shack in the middle of nowhere.

Insert lighting, big waves, thunder, for good effect

"Happpyyyyyy Birthday to Meeeeeeeee" sang Harry, as he also played the guitar that appeared out of nowhere.

As he was about to go into the second verse, a big Hairy man beast walked through the door, looking around frantically.  "Who are you?" asked Harry.

"Why…I am…Hagrid…That's Right, Hagrid"

A man with a hunting rifle ran in with a camera crew. "There he is Bigfoot! Get him!"  The man beast through himself out the window, followed by the men. 

"Wow, my life is so messed up…" said Harry as he proceeded to play his guitar. 

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As it turns out the REAL Hagrid came into the shack minutes after the last intrusion with some lovely Mission Impossible theme music to go with his entrance, and ended up crushing Uncle Vernon and Aunt Pentunia.  Dudley on the other hand, was promptly turned into a pig , ended up joining the cast of "Babe" and warmed the hearts of millions. 

"Here is a letter for you Harry, it will help you understand", said Hagrid.  Harry took the letter and ripped it open and it read it out loud, "Dear Mr. Potter, we are please to inform you that you now have been approved for Washington Mutual…"

"Whoops, I mean this letter" said Hagrid.  Harry read the other letter over and discovered that he was in fact going to a wizard school. But he wept inside.  Not, that he was leaving his pancake shaped Uncle and Aunt behind, but that he would never get the account with Washington Mutual. 

He shed a tear, but then walked out the door with Hagrid, and a yelled a hearty, "See you later suckers!" to his relatives.  

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Wow, that chapter was just really random.  Who agrees? *everyone raises their hands*

Next chapter, Harry learns THE TRUTH, he meets a horde of new characters

And does some feasting. Maybe.  Please review.