...Though We're Strangers Till Now
by Jacqui
Note - All the original characters do NOT belong to me, although the rest of them do. Last names of those characters who didn't or don't have them are entirely fictional. This is my first attempt at Labyrinth fan fiction, so reviews would be really nice and appreciated. This story is mostly based on the movie, but there's a few elements from the book thrown in here and there. I read Labyrinth analyses, various fan fiction, and also came up with my own conclusions and ideas. So, this entire story will entail all three of those sources of information. It may be weird, it may be good, either way, as I mentioned before...feedback is always appreciated and adored. :) Oh yeah, Jim Henson, Brian Froud, and everyone who had a hand in creating this movie are geniuses.
!!!! - This is a very dramatic series so far. And I know it's probably pretty graphic and distasteful to a lot of people. But I wanted to do a take on something that no one or very few people have done before with Sarah's character. I've never read a fic where she is raped. I just thought I would bring that subject to the table and see what people might think of it. If you do read this and like it, leave me comments. I do consider them and they help me to write each following chapter. :)
As she already knew, the first place she had to look was in his office, where he was sitting at his desk behind a large stack of papers and open books.
"Jareth!" Sarah cried, throwing open his doors without even knocking. Jareth, surprised, dropped the book he was looking at and jumped from his seat.
"Sarah? What is wrong?" he asked, a worried look on his face.
"I have to tell you something...I just met with your physician and--"
"My physician? Why? Are you ill?" he asked, quickly walking around his desk toward her.
"You know how I've been acting strange lately and I've just been all weird...well I thought it was something in my head that was wrong...but it isn't..."
"Well what is it then?" he asked, stopping in front of her.
"I'm...pregnant..." she said, placing her hand over her stomach. Her eyes searched his as if she were looking for a reaction of happiness from her statement.
"Pregnant?" he whispered, turning his head to the side with a disturbed look.
"Yes...it has to be--"
"It can not be mine, Sarah." Jareth closed his eyes, pursing hs lips together in what appeared to be anger and hurt.
"But it has to be! You won't deny your own child will you!?" she said, clenching her fists, feeling her eyes misting as she spoke.
"You do not understand. After we were intimate, or more precisely, every time after we were intimate, I cast a spell to prevent such an occurance. The physician has to be incorrect in his findings. Did he tell you who the child belongs to?" Jareth was now looking at her with the darkest look in his eyes, so dark it scared her. Sarah looked down toward her feet.
"I didn't ask him. I was too surprised--"
"Then we shall find out." Jareth stepped around her and left the room temporarily, Sarah simply stood there in silence. She wondered, but knew who the father was if it wasn't Jareth. She felt the tears slide down her face as she hoped against all hope that her child belonged to Jareth. Finally, when Jareth re-entered the room, Ainle followed right behind him.
"Jareth I--" Sarah began, but Jareth silenced her immediately.
"Turn and face Ainle," he said coldly. Sarah sighed heavily, and turned shakily to face the goblin doctor she had seen only moments ago. "Ainle, who does this child belong to?" Jareth asked finally, folding his arms across his chest, his jaw tightening. Ainle moved closer to Sarah, and put his hand against her stomach once again. He moved his hand around for a few seconds, then removed it and scratched his head with a sigh. He knew his master wanted the answer that would make him satisfied, but he Ainle regretted having to tell him the opposite.
"Saerin Dálaigh, Your Majesty." At hearing the name spoken after months of not hearing it at all, Sarah fell to the floor and broke down into a fit of tears.
"You are dismissed, Ainle," Jareth said in disgust, waving his hand frantically at the goblin man. Ainle bowed unsteadily, and quickly took his leave.
"Sarah..." Jareth whispered, kneeling on the floor next to her. Sarah didn't answer him but only kept on crying, and Jareth wrapped his arms around her tightly, hugging her to him. "Shhh..." Sarah pressed her face into the soft fabric of his shirt and cried her heart out, all the pain and hurt she had disposed of so shortly ago coming back to her in a flood of agony. Jareth knew what would happen to Sarah if Saerin had ever discovered that she carried his child. Jareth would no longer have any control over the situation. Sarah would come completely into Saerin's power, and there would be no way he could stop it. By law, it was written that if a woman should become impregnated by a man of any stature, that they should marry in order to keep peace within the Seelie Court. Not only that, but for the peace and goodwill of the child as well. A bastard child would never be recognized even as a mere servant. That kind of life would have no purpose, and could lead to confrontations that are not necessarily needed and could be avoided with simple marriage negotiations. Jareth clung tighter to Sarah as he finally realized what he had to do, even if it killed him.
Faced with a personal responsibility that would never be tolerated by the Seelie Court if discovered, Jareth had cancelled every engagement he had previously set many months in advance. He had to protect Sarah's future. He knew of nothing else he could do, and he was ashamed of himself for ruining his own prospects. But, he couldn't lose Sarah again, especially to a treacherous fiend like Saerin. He was prepared to give it all up in order to save her from becoming Saerin's property. By law, it was forbidden to abort the life an innocent being, whether or not its existence was visible. So, he was hurt more than anything to know that he would be forced to raise the child as his own, and that the child would never know who their real father was. He never blamed Sarah for any of it, because he knew that she was not at fault for what had happened to her.
That night, Sarah completely skipped dinner. She had spent most of the remainder of the day in her room crying. She knew of nothing else to do, nor did she want to do anything else. She had a child growing inside her, and an unwanted child at that. If she were to have anyone's child, she wanted to have Jareth's. The more she came to grips with Saerin being the unborn baby's father, the more her world seemed to shatter around her. She began to feel as if she should just walk over to Saerin's estate and hand herself over to him and give up completely. Suddenly, she heard her door open, and she looked up from her tear soaked pillow. Jareth stood in the doorway, holding a piece of paper in his hand with a disturbed look on his face.
"Jareth, what are you--"
"Get dressed, Sarah. I have to leave the castle for a few days. My mother is ill, and although I can not deny her request to see me, I dare not leave you here on your own ever again." Jareth walked over toward her bed and sat down on the edge next to her, taking her hands into his. "Saerin may be there as well, or he may not, but I will not risk the chance of him hurting you a second time. If he is there, we will be cordial, but we shall avoid any association with him other than the usual formalities. I have decided that I will protect you from his as long as I can, forever if possible. And I can only hope the information that only three individuals know throughout my entire kingdom shall not leak out for his ears to hear."
"Jareth.." she whispered in between sobs and sniffles, "I wanted to ask you something..."
"What is it?"
"If...Saerin found out that I carried his child...does that mean...I'll have to marry him?" Sarah's eyes searched his face for the answer 'no.' But Jareth simply sighed, then looked away from her as if it pained him to reply.
"Yes, Sarah. Which is why you should refrain from informing him, just as Ainle and I will. If he should ever find out..."
"I would never tell him, Jareth."
"Good. Since Phaedra is still residing in the castle, and I know those two have a very indecent past together, we will have to take extra caution in keeping our mouths shut around her." He looked back at her and removed his hands from hers. "We must leave soon, hurry and find something suitable to wear, I will return for you shortly." Then, he stood up and began walking toward the door.
"Jareth," Sarah called out just before his hand touched the door handle.
"Yes?" he answered, without turning to face her.
"You haven't broken your promise have you?" she whispered, feeling her stomach knot up with uneasiness. Jareth stood there for a few moments, as if he were actually considering his response. Finally, he turned to her with an obviously fake smile.
"I still love you, Sarah." And with that, he opened the door and quickly stepped out. As the door closed with a light 'click,' Sarah's eyes began to tear up. She quickly wiped them away and forbade herself to cry anymore. She would not let this situation get the best of her, or the relationship she had come to treasure so much. She would go with Jareth to see his mother, and if Saerin was there, she would indulge Jareth's request and keep herself away from him. Collecting her thoughts and emotions together, she jumped from the bed and began rummaging through her spare clothing.
"This should be fine," she whispered to herself hurriedly, holding up a pale blue velvet dress. The loose, almost transparent blue sleeves ended at the wrists. The bodice was a darker shade of pale blue, and was loose around her entire torso, and the skirt hung down to the floor. No decorations were present on the skirt, bodice, or sleeves, except for small silver linings here and there around the hems. As Sarah brushed her hair out roughly, she slid her feet into a pair of matching blue satin slippers. She had no idea Helori had spent so much time just building up her wardrobe, and she had almost forgotten how much it had grown since she first arrived in the Underworld. She had but one outfit, and now, she had several dresses for many different occasions. She rushed around her room, applying thin layers of makeup as she tried to straighten up the floor and tidy her bed up. When Jareth returned, he found her by the only window in her room, staring out onto the city which she had just recently began governing. He noticed that she held his ring in between her fingers. She turned it over and over as the light caught it and flickered red tinted flecks of color over the wall.
"Are you ready, Sarah?" he said lightly, and her eyes moved toward him with a melancholy look on her face. She sighed and began to walk in his direction, stopping only inches before she walked into him. She held up her left hand, then carefully slipped the ring onto her third finger.
"You know, Jareth...in ancient times...people believed that there was a vein in this finger that ran straight to the heart," she whispered to him, twisting the ring around her finger with her thumb. "And it was also believed that having a ring on this finger would symbolize the deep connection of love between the giver and the receiver. I want to believe that, Jareth. I want to never stop believing in our love and the connection we have to one another because of it. So yes, I am ready." She held her right hand out for him to take, and he did so. He looked at her with an expression of true empathy, and he finally smiled without having to force himself. As they both left the room together, Sarah realized that she was really a grown woman facing up to her first true problem on her own, without any influence or drive--except her own.
Later that night, the two of them stood outside Alayna's room. Sarah nudged him forward slightly. They could hear light conversation on the other side of the door, and Jareth hesitated as he looked over at her.
"Go on," Sarah whispered, and she raised her hand and knocked gently. The talking ceased, and Jareth opened his mouth to protest against her actions, but he quieted himself as he heard his mother's weak voice.
"You may enter." Jareth's eyes closed slowly, almost feeling how painful it must have been for her to speak. Then he pushed the door open slowly, and stepped into the room with Sarah on his arm.
"How are you, mother?" Jareth asked softly. Sarah closed the door quietly, and refrained from giving her wishes for his mother's recovery just yet.
"Jareth, my son, Braedon darling, Jareth has finally come," Alayna cooed from her place on a large cushioned bed, as she waved Jareth over to her meekly.
"Father," Jareth said, crossing an arm over his chest as he bowed.
"Your mother has wanted to see you for some time, my son. I do apologize for Alayna's condition, but her illness has rendered her somewhat delirious...or at least until she overcome this..."
"I understand father," Jareth replied, and Sarah released him as he walked over to Alayna's side.
"Jareth, my boy. You have left that pretty young lady standing there alone, let us not be rude to our guests..." Alayna said, wrapping her hands around Jareth's.
"Sarah," Jareth said without removing his eyes from his mother, "come here." Sarah clasped her hands in front of her, inhaled deeply, and walked across the room to where Jareth and his mother were.
"Y-Yes, Your Majesty?" she whispered, tilting her head to the side slightly.
"I remember you, young woman. You are the one Jareth almost married years ago," she gasped, a look of shock on her face.
"Alayna, dear, this is Sarah...she is Jareth's personal servant...you have only seen her twice," Braedon cut in before Sarah could think of a reply.
"I see, oh Jareth things have been so busy around here lately. I have been doing so much work cleaning, making sure the servants tend to their duties, keeping my darling Braedon company, going to parties, meetings, and...well...I am quite tired. I only wish you had come two days ago when I first sent for you! I needed the company when Braedon was not here to fill that void..." Alayna sighed, letting her hands drop to her lap in dismay.
"I am here now, mother. I apologize for my late arrival, but I had prior engagements I had to attend to before I came. Why are you doing so many things at once, mother? You know it is not good for you." Sarah bit her lip, feeling Jareth's slight pain of being unaccepted because of something he had done that wasn't necessarily wrong. Just then, the door creaked open and Sarah's heart felt as if it jumped into her throat as she saw Saerin enter the room. His eyes fell on her first, and she gasped as his eyes glittered with malevolence. She inched closer to Jareth's side, clenching her teeth. Jareth must have felt Saerin's presence without even having to look because he took her hand into his tightly, as if to chain her to him and keep Saerin away.
"Why Jareth, finally you decide to show up after that long and hard to bear two days since you had been called upon by Her Majesty," Saerin said sarcastically from behind the rest of them. Jareth chuckled lightly to himself, turning to face Saerin.
"I am sure you would understand, as I do have kingly duties that require a great deal of my time so that I may keep my kingdom in proper order. Although, you may not understand, for you are still only a lord and not a king...from which I may draw the obvious conclusion that you spend most of your time at parties and balls flirting with young helpless women..." Jareth retorted, the muscles in his jaw tensing up as his anger grew. He no longer wanted to have anything to do with this man after Sarah had explained his defiling acts word for word, with tears in her eyes. As Jareth's eyes glared a solid line of ice directly at Saerin, Sarah became nervous.
"Jareth..." she whispered under her breath.
"Now, now...you young men have been fighting ever since you were children. But you are both grown up now, I do believe it is time you started to act as such," Braedon interrupted. As Jareth turned back to his mother with a light growl, Sarah let out a sigh of relief.
"Your Majesty Alayna," Saerin said, bowing honorably before Jareth's mother.
"Oh, young Lord Saerin, how have you been?" she asked, sounding very interested in his reply. Saerin glanced sarcastically at Sarah, then back to Alayna.
"I have been extremely well. I came today to extend my deepest apologies concerning your illness, Your Majesty," he replied. Jareth scoffed lightly, watching Saerin and Alayna converse with one another. Jareth kept a tight grip on Sarah's hand as he saw Saerin moving closer to the three of them.
"Well thank you, but I am feeling rather fatigued with all this chit chat," Alayna chirped. Jareth's eyes darted back to his mother, having never heard her speak badly of idle talk.
"Lady Sarah, you are quite beautiful today" Saerin purred. Jareth jerked Sarah next to him, and she almost lost her footing as she threw her free hand against his arm to support herself.
"Jareth, dear...I called upon you to request that you remain her for a few days. Braedon will be gone on business and I do not want to be here alone...I fear I may not--"
"Mother--"
"Let her finish, Jareth," Braedon spat, bringing his fingers up to his temples. Alayna lovingly smiled at her husband, then continued.
"I fear I may not be able to get things done in the time I have been allotted without some help. Jareth, I just wanted you here until I recover, at least for the most part, if not completely."
"As you wish mother," Jareth nodded, "but there are documents I am currently going over and I have depended upon the Countess Sarah to aide me in completing them. If you would be so kind as to allow her to stay here as well..."
"Of course, my son. Of course. She can use one of the guest rooms in the main hallway," Alayna said softly, smiling at Sarah.
"So you have reached the stage of Countess..." Saerin said thoughtfully, clasping his hands behind his back. Neither Sarah nor Jareth replied, but they kept their attention on Alayna. Jareth began to speak when Alayna suddenly let herself gracefully fall back into the pillows behind her, and she closed her eyes.
"Jareth, please make yourself comfortable. I do apologize for my fatigue, but I do need some rest. I feel rather faint...Sarah, you may have any room you choose...it was good to see you again my darling son," Alayna whispered. Braedon rushed to his wife's side as he sensed her tired state finally kicking in full time.
"The three of you are free to go," Braedon said worriedly, "I shall inform you when I will be departing." That being said, Jareth bowed once to his father, then once again to his mother, and bade them goodbye. As Jareth and Sarah turned to leave, they came face to face with Saerin. He raised a brow and his chin jutted out slightly as if he were in deep thought. Sarah made the first move as she continued walking toward the door, pulling Jareth with her. Saerin followed close behind, but before either of them reached the door, they turned around and Saerin was gone. Jareth's parents didn't even notice that him and Sarah was still in the room, or that Saerin had disappeared. Jareth sighed, then made his leave of the room completely, holding Sarah close by his side.
After Sarah had chosen one out of the many guest rooms to use during her stay, Jareth took one next to hers. Mainly, in case something should happen or a certain someone should try and use his charm against her once again.
"Goodnight, Jareth..." she whispered awkwardly, holding her hands against her stomach. Jareth grabbed her hands and pulled her to him, then kissed her gently.
"Do not worry, Sarah. I will see you tomorrow morning." Sarah nodded, and they both separated and went into their own chambers for the night.
The next morning, they had breakfast in the main dining hall. Jareth's parents had four dining halls, but the one they were in was smaller than the other rooms. The smoky gray walls were decorated with paintings that looked like they came from the medieval times in Sarah's world. Women that had beautifully styled hoop dresses and intricately styled hair. Black lace curtains and tapestries lined the windows and gave the room a classic feel. Sarah felt slightly more comfortable in her surroundings then than she had in Jareth's castle. Alayna's appearance that morning has looked better than the day before. Although, she hardly said a word or ate any of her breakfast and excused herself before anyone else so that she could go see her husband before he left.
"Jareth," Sarah whispered from across the table, "You don't need me here...I can go back to the castle. You ordered all the servants to keep Saerin away or to notify you if he comes around...I'm protected there...Besides....I'm just getting in the way of you and your mother..."
"No, Sarah. You will not be going anywhere. You made me promise never to leave you alone again, are you now asking me to break that promise?"
"Jareth...he'll find out no matter what we do..." she said solemnly, leaning back in her chair. "He was so close to me last night...I felt as though he could sense that I..." Her eyes fell down to her stomach, and then they fluttered shut.
"Damn it, Sarah, don't you dare start giving up," Jareth said angrily as he slammed his hands down on the table and jumped from his seat. Sarah's eyes flew open and she stood from her seat as well.
"I feel so helpless right now! What do you--"
"Not here," he interrupted, holding a hand out to silence her.
"Jareth, I'm of no use to anyone here. I don't even feel like I belong here..."
"What is that supposed to mean? Have you taken back your acceptance to my proposal? If you are going to marry me, Sarah, you will have to get used to everything here." Jareth's voice had mellowed down, but Sarah still heard the angry tone. Jareth reclaimed his seat, but Sarah stayed standing.
"I...I'm sorry, Jareth. I do love you. This is all just so hard...I don't want to have this child, but I can't kill it. And...knowing that you aren't the father...just adds to my torment." Jareth stood up immediately after hearing her words.
"I understand how hard this must be for you, Sarah. But as we both have said before, real love should be the shield that helps us confront the problems we encounter in every day life. If we truly love each other, then that love we share should be able to help us through this. Before, I never would have said these things. I probably would have handled it differently. But you made me believe in them, and you gave me a reason to believe in them. Please do not give up yet, Sarah." Sarah's eyes had already begun to fill with tears as she listened to him. He was right, and she knew he never talked this way the first time they met. He was cold and cruel to her, and even in the beginning of their second meeting he was the same Goblin King she had now come to love so much. Before her tears could escape the boundary of her lashes, she wiped them away quickly. She smiled, walked to the other side of the table, and stopped next to him.
"You're right. I'm sorry..." she whispered, and Jareth pulled himself to a stand. Sarah placed her hands on her stomach as she looked up at him.
"We understand one another, then?" Jareth asked.
"Yes. But if you don't mind...I'd like to go back to my room and rest for awhile...I barely slept at all last night," she said softly.
"Of course, Sarah. But be careful. Even in my parents' estate with twice as many servants running about, Saerin can deceive them as easily as he deceived my servants. Like I said...his determination is unbreakable."
"I know. I had to find that out the hard way didn't I?" she replied, smiling faintly as she turned and left the room. Jareth slumped back down into his seat and tried to contemplate a way he could deal with Saerin's actions. He could bring it up with the Seelie Court, but that would mean getting Saerin involved, which would lead to him finding out about his unborn child. The courts would no doubt see to it that Saerin and Sarah were married, to preserve the bloodline and keep peace within the fae kingdom, if not for the child's future alone. Jareth knew how much it would thrill Saerin, not because of having a child or a marriage, but because he would be able to treat Sarah with the same indignity he had already forced upon her. He didn't know what else he could do without doing it at Sarah's expense. As he thought, he wondered in the back of his mind if the situation really was hopeless. Suddenly, he heard something sweeping the stone ground behind him, and as he turned around to confront the sound, he saw Phaedra.
"Hello, Jareth," she said, her lips curling into a malicious smile.
After traveling half-way across the estate, Sarah reached her room. Just as she had opened her door, she hesitated when she saw some movement out of the corner of her eye. Having a bad feeling about it, she continued to go into her room.
"I would not close that door if I were you, my lady," came Saerin's voice from behind her. Sarah automatically turned to face him, and she froze when she saw the insidious look on his face.
"Go away, Saerin," she whispered with disgust, placing her hand on the door and swinging it shut as hard as she could. But Saerin threw his hand out to catch the door before it closed completely.
"That was not a very clever thing to do, Sarah," he replied, stepping into her room, then sarcastically shutting the door behind him.
"How did you get back into this estate? Why isn't there anyone around like Jareth told me there would be? Get out, Saerin!"
"My status got me back into this estate. I am one of Braedon's counselors, Sarah. I help him with paperwork, and anything else he may need. I am a member of the royal courts!" Saerin laughed, taking a step at a time as he moved his way over to her. Sarah began to back up toward her window, hoping maybe she had left it open and she could scream for help once she reached it.
"I'm warning you, Saerin...leave me alone or--"
"Or...what?" he asked, nearing closer and closer as he began to take larger steps. "Oh...and I knew Jareth would leave that out in his explanation of the household servants. They are beneath me, Sarah. They will do as I say, even if they are not my servants to order around. I simply told them to go attend to that miserable Alayna. That woman really is the source of all my problems to take over this entire kingdom. She refuses to let anyone outside of her bloodline rule the Braedons' 'precious kingdom'...well...since Braedon is so entranced by her I know why I have not yet won his favor either I suppose..." Sarah simply let him babble as she backed up closer to her window. The longer she let him talk without interruption, the more she was able to stall him until she was able to reach her window. "I have spent countless years of my life helping those fools with their dramatic errands and tiring tasks, and they will not even repay me with so much as a single place in the royal family. They would have never made it this far without my expertise. But..." he sighed, "none of this concerns you, my dear. I will get what is due to me in time. But, at the moment, what I want is something I can get right now." After Saerin had finished speaking, he had backed Sarah into a wall.
"Don't you dare come near me," Sarah hissed, looking over toward her window, which was closed. She raised her hand to smash it open, but Saerin rushed up to her and grabbed her arm tightly, forcing it against the wall.
"Not so fast," he laughed. Sarah gritted her teeth and glared at him. Then she raised her hand and hit him hard across the face.
"I told you not to come near me!" she screamed. Then she raised her leg and kneed him in between the legs. Saerin groaned in pain as he released her arm and sank to the floor. Sarah immediately ran for her bedroom door, but before she could get past him, Saerin's hand flew out and grabbed her leg. She lost her footing and fell hard to the floor as she felt herself being jerked backward. She had hit her head on the stone floor, and it had knocked the wind out of her. She was unable to move or even see clearly. She fought blindly at Saerin's hands as he pulled her back toward him. As he crawled on top of her, he rolled her onto her back.
"I told you...never...to fight me...Sarah..." he groaned in between painful breaths. Then he reached a hand out and grabbed her frantically swatting hands. Saerin swallowed his pain hard, and he held her hands together above her stomach as he pulled her dress up with his other hand. He tore her panties off with one swift movement, and forced her legs apart with his knees. Sarah's eyes flooded with tears the moment she had hit the floor, but despite the pain, she was now crying from fear of having yet another possible rape to deal with from a man she so despised.
"Saerin, no!! Stop!!" Sarah cried, kicking her legs wildly as she tried to move her body away from him. Saerin had finally enough of her retaliation, so he reached behind him and fidgeted with his belt as if he were looking for something. When he had found what he was searching for, he pulled it out of its sheath and held a dagger in front of her. "Saerin get off of me! If I scream loud enough--"
"Yes, Sarah...if you scream loud enough...I will have to cut your tongue out to silence you. Is that what you want?" Saerin breathed heavily as he leaned down and placed the blade right over her lips. Sarah quieted herself, but continued to sob. She pulled her hands, trying to free them, although she had stopped kicking her legs.
"Please, Saerin...not again...why are you doing this? I haven't done anything--"
"Yes you have. Do you not remember our first meeting? Jareth came in between us before we had a chance to really get to know one another. I was truly interested in you, Sarah. But you had to fall in love with Jareth. That is how it has always been! Women falling for Jareth, always!"
"B-But you said you were--"
"A ladies man? Yes I did say that. And I was and still am a ladies man. But that is how I have always been, you see. Jareth has had so many marriage proposals from the fathers of wealthy women over the years. And me? I have had nothing but flirtatious promises. I am what you might call a 'one-night-stand' kind of man. When I had first seen you, I knew at that moment I wanted to start over. You appeared different to me. But like so many others, you treated me with ignorance, and you wound up belonging to Jareth. Not just physically, but mentally. I wanted something that Jareth had, yet again, stolen from me."
"Saerin he--"
"Shut up. I have made my choice, Sarah. I will have you, whether it be in the state of perpetual love, or without it."
"Saerin don't...please..." Sarah whispered against the blade as he held it firmly over her mouth. Saerin scoffed, and moved his fingertips over her inner thighs as if he were enticing her to scream. Sarah writhed underneath him and effortlessly tried to close her legs. She could do nothing but watch as he unfastened his pants and slowly pulled them down.
"Just keep quiet, my love," he whispered. Tightening his hold on her hands as he pressed them to her chest, he bent down and kissed her lips even as the blade lay between their mouths. Sarah rolled her head away, her sobbing deepening as she felt him lift her legs and wrap them around his waist.
"Plea--ahh!" Sarah cried painfully as he forced himself inside her. Her inner walls closed up around him, her body tensed up, and he moaned with pleasure at feeling her reaction. He pounded his hips hard against hers, even as she continued to try and pull her hands from his grip, she knew she could do nothing. She had lost any sense of hope she had before, but she just wanted to get away from Saerin. Her body was once again being tortured by him, and she could do nothing to stop it. She had failed Jareth a second time, and that felt like almost too much for her to handle. Her weeping grew louder as Saerin drove himself inside her even harder with a fierce hunger that Sarah wanted no part of. She cried numerous times for him to stop, and when Saerin had finally had enough of her noise making, he suppressed her by placing the dagger against her lips once again. Why was there no one around? Not even one servant to hear the commotion? Why did she leave Jareth at all? Why wasn't he coming to look for her or to even check up on her? Why was this happening to her again? She could do nothing but sob quietly and cry out in pain each time Saerin pushed himself too hard inside of her.
"If you had...fallen for me...I would not have to be so brutal with you...my love..." Saerin said in between heavy panting. Just as Sarah thought she couldn't take anymore, she heard Saerin moan deeply as he released himself inside her. Sarah broke down into a new set of tears, finally realizing it was all over. As he let her hands free, and pulled himself out of her, Sarah instinctively pulled herself away from him.
"Now will you go...?" she cried, pushing her dress down and pulling her legs shut. "You got what you wanted...now just leave me alone...please..." She reached for the bedpost and tried to pull herself up, but was unable to find the strength.
"Of course, Sarah, but do not forget..." Saerin began as he refastened his pants and pulled himself to a stand. "This incident stays secret as well." He walked over and stopped in front of her, dangling the dagger in front of her. "I suppose you will now actually take it into consideration even more so now that you know exactly what I will do to you if word gets out. Am I understood?" he said, still breathing with a slight heaviness. Sarah bit the inside of her mouth, and when she tasted blood, she finally answered him.
"Y-Yes...now get out..." she said hoarsely, still fighting back her tears. Saerin laughed to himself, and straightened his appearance as he continued to make his leave. Sarah clung to the bedpost until she heard her door close with a 'click.' When she felt that he was no longer in the vicinity of where her room was located in the castle, Sarah let herself fall to the floor. She lay there, and let herself break down once more. She cried for everything that had happened to her since she had come back to the Underground. Her meeting with Jareth, with Saerin, Phaedra, and even Jareth's parents and court members. She cried for having been raped twice now, and she had been so completely stupid as to fall into Saerin's hands again. She cried for having fallen in love with Jareth and causing not only herself, but causing Jareth pain that she could now never heal. She had failed him beyond the point of failure, and she definitely now did not feel worthy enough to marry a man of such high regard and bring shame to his kingdom. She would not allow herself, a completely destroyed and defiled woman, to ruin a bright future for anyone else, especially Jareth. She had to tell Saerin about the baby. And she knew the consequences, she may live under his power for the rest of his life, or he would kill her for never telling him in the first place. Either way, she knew what she had to do. And maybe perhaps, in her heart, she already knew and accepted that.
by Jacqui
Note - All the original characters do NOT belong to me, although the rest of them do. Last names of those characters who didn't or don't have them are entirely fictional. This is my first attempt at Labyrinth fan fiction, so reviews would be really nice and appreciated. This story is mostly based on the movie, but there's a few elements from the book thrown in here and there. I read Labyrinth analyses, various fan fiction, and also came up with my own conclusions and ideas. So, this entire story will entail all three of those sources of information. It may be weird, it may be good, either way, as I mentioned before...feedback is always appreciated and adored. :) Oh yeah, Jim Henson, Brian Froud, and everyone who had a hand in creating this movie are geniuses.
!!!! - This is a very dramatic series so far. And I know it's probably pretty graphic and distasteful to a lot of people. But I wanted to do a take on something that no one or very few people have done before with Sarah's character. I've never read a fic where she is raped. I just thought I would bring that subject to the table and see what people might think of it. If you do read this and like it, leave me comments. I do consider them and they help me to write each following chapter. :)
Chapter 13: A Loveless Bond
Approximately one month had passed since Jareth returned after his final treaty signing. The following morning after Sarah had finally told her story of Saerin's attack upon her, Jareth had informed Sarah of her new status as a Countess. She had taken to the idea so fondly that she immediately began to put her duties into action. The following days proved quite true that Sarah was exceptional at her job. She more or less had taken over Jareth's previous job in seeing to it that the city below his castle was always in order. Although, she did it with a much kinder and gentler perspective, which made the inhabiting goblins much more prone to doing their own jobs even better than before. Jareth was slightly bothered by this, having done what Sarah was now doing for many years without such results, but nonetheless he was pleased that she was happier. He spent many hours in his office after that night trying to conjure up ways to repay Saerin for his adultery and wrong doing. He spent so much time on it, that he wound up neglecting his prior engagements and even flaked out on spending time with Sarah. Even though she understood why he was absent even more than before, she still desired his company more than ever.
Until one day, Sarah began to get the feeling something was wrong with her. She had no idea what it was, but she decided that it had to be some kind of mental problem that she needed help with. After pestering Helori about finding her a doctor, and getting many replies of 'I do not know, miss,' Helori finally broke down and arranged for Jareth's personal physician to come and take a look at her. When the doctor had entered her room, Sarah was sitting at her vanity, facing him with a smile. She had called him here to find out what her mental problem was so she could remedy it, but to Sarah's surprise, and complete heartbreak, the problem was not mental at all.
"So...you are the one called Sarah, correct?" asked a tall, thin goblin with thinning hair. His brows furrowed together as he clasped his hands behind his back and paced in front of her for a long moment.
"Y-Yes...Helori told me that you're Jareth's personal doctor, is that right?" Sarah replied, trying to keep her smile on.
"That I am. You may call me Ainle. What is it exactly that you have called upon me to assist you with?"
"Well, Ainle, I've been rather upset lately. I mean the first few weeks were great, but now that Jareth is so busy in his office all the time...I think I may be getting sick...or at least mentally distraught...you know what I mean? It's not something I can pin point, but I would like to find out what might be wrong with me if there is anything at all..." Sarah bit her lip, wanting him to say that she was just a silly lovesick girl who craved attention that she would barely get from such a busy man. But Ainle simply shook his head as he stopped directly in front of her, bringing his hands from behind his back to fold them together against his abdomen.
"I can assure you, it is not a mental problem that you have Countess." He then reached one hand out to place it over her stomach, then grunted as if he had reassured himself. "You are with child." Sarah's mouth dropped open as she looked down toward her stomach, then back up at Ainle.
"Th-That's imposs...the last time me and...that can't be..." she whispered to herself and Ainle.
"But it is. I've studied your human methods of discovering a child, and quite honestly ours outdo yours by a landslide. The sort of physicians in the Underworld can see that a woman is with child before the child has even begun to form. Have I helped you at all?" Ainle finished, staring at her intently.
"More than you know..." she whispered again, her eyes fluttering toward the floor.
"Then I shall go now. Jareth requests that all my visits be quick and efficient, if he should hear otherwise...well I will not say what may happen to me. But I bid you good day, Countess." With that, Ainle bowed slightly, and left the room. Sarah sat motionless for a moment, scared, happy, worried, and shocked all at the same time. After she had finally thought about it enough, she sprung to her feet and ran to find Jareth.
As she already knew, the first place she had to look was in his office, where he was sitting at his desk behind a large stack of papers and open books.
"Jareth!" Sarah cried, throwing open his doors without even knocking. Jareth, surprised, dropped the book he was looking at and jumped from his seat.
"Sarah? What is wrong?" he asked, a worried look on his face.
"I have to tell you something...I just met with your physician and--"
"My physician? Why? Are you ill?" he asked, quickly walking around his desk toward her.
"You know how I've been acting strange lately and I've just been all weird...well I thought it was something in my head that was wrong...but it isn't..."
"Well what is it then?" he asked, stopping in front of her.
"I'm...pregnant..." she said, placing her hand over her stomach. Her eyes searched his as if she were looking for a reaction of happiness from her statement.
"Pregnant?" he whispered, turning his head to the side with a disturbed look.
"Yes...it has to be--"
"It can not be mine, Sarah." Jareth closed his eyes, pursing hs lips together in what appeared to be anger and hurt.
"But it has to be! You won't deny your own child will you!?" she said, clenching her fists, feeling her eyes misting as she spoke.
"You do not understand. After we were intimate, or more precisely, every time after we were intimate, I cast a spell to prevent such an occurance. The physician has to be incorrect in his findings. Did he tell you who the child belongs to?" Jareth was now looking at her with the darkest look in his eyes, so dark it scared her. Sarah looked down toward her feet.
"I didn't ask him. I was too surprised--"
"Then we shall find out." Jareth stepped around her and left the room temporarily, Sarah simply stood there in silence. She wondered, but knew who the father was if it wasn't Jareth. She felt the tears slide down her face as she hoped against all hope that her child belonged to Jareth. Finally, when Jareth re-entered the room, Ainle followed right behind him.
"Jareth I--" Sarah began, but Jareth silenced her immediately.
"Turn and face Ainle," he said coldly. Sarah sighed heavily, and turned shakily to face the goblin doctor she had seen only moments ago. "Ainle, who does this child belong to?" Jareth asked finally, folding his arms across his chest, his jaw tightening. Ainle moved closer to Sarah, and put his hand against her stomach once again. He moved his hand around for a few seconds, then removed it and scratched his head with a sigh. He knew his master wanted the answer that would make him satisfied, but he Ainle regretted having to tell him the opposite.
"Saerin Dálaigh, Your Majesty." At hearing the name spoken after months of not hearing it at all, Sarah fell to the floor and broke down into a fit of tears.
"You are dismissed, Ainle," Jareth said in disgust, waving his hand frantically at the goblin man. Ainle bowed unsteadily, and quickly took his leave.
"Sarah..." Jareth whispered, kneeling on the floor next to her. Sarah didn't answer him but only kept on crying, and Jareth wrapped his arms around her tightly, hugging her to him. "Shhh..." Sarah pressed her face into the soft fabric of his shirt and cried her heart out, all the pain and hurt she had disposed of so shortly ago coming back to her in a flood of agony. Jareth knew what would happen to Sarah if Saerin had ever discovered that she carried his child. Jareth would no longer have any control over the situation. Sarah would come completely into Saerin's power, and there would be no way he could stop it. By law, it was written that if a woman should become impregnated by a man of any stature, that they should marry in order to keep peace within the Seelie Court. Not only that, but for the peace and goodwill of the child as well. A bastard child would never be recognized even as a mere servant. That kind of life would have no purpose, and could lead to confrontations that are not necessarily needed and could be avoided with simple marriage negotiations. Jareth clung tighter to Sarah as he finally realized what he had to do, even if it killed him.
Faced with a personal responsibility that would never be tolerated by the Seelie Court if discovered, Jareth had cancelled every engagement he had previously set many months in advance. He had to protect Sarah's future. He knew of nothing else he could do, and he was ashamed of himself for ruining his own prospects. But, he couldn't lose Sarah again, especially to a treacherous fiend like Saerin. He was prepared to give it all up in order to save her from becoming Saerin's property. By law, it was forbidden to abort the life an innocent being, whether or not its existence was visible. So, he was hurt more than anything to know that he would be forced to raise the child as his own, and that the child would never know who their real father was. He never blamed Sarah for any of it, because he knew that she was not at fault for what had happened to her.
That night, Sarah completely skipped dinner. She had spent most of the remainder of the day in her room crying. She knew of nothing else to do, nor did she want to do anything else. She had a child growing inside her, and an unwanted child at that. If she were to have anyone's child, she wanted to have Jareth's. The more she came to grips with Saerin being the unborn baby's father, the more her world seemed to shatter around her. She began to feel as if she should just walk over to Saerin's estate and hand herself over to him and give up completely. Suddenly, she heard her door open, and she looked up from her tear soaked pillow. Jareth stood in the doorway, holding a piece of paper in his hand with a disturbed look on his face.
"Jareth, what are you--"
"Get dressed, Sarah. I have to leave the castle for a few days. My mother is ill, and although I can not deny her request to see me, I dare not leave you here on your own ever again." Jareth walked over toward her bed and sat down on the edge next to her, taking her hands into his. "Saerin may be there as well, or he may not, but I will not risk the chance of him hurting you a second time. If he is there, we will be cordial, but we shall avoid any association with him other than the usual formalities. I have decided that I will protect you from his as long as I can, forever if possible. And I can only hope the information that only three individuals know throughout my entire kingdom shall not leak out for his ears to hear."
"Jareth.." she whispered in between sobs and sniffles, "I wanted to ask you something..."
"What is it?"
"If...Saerin found out that I carried his child...does that mean...I'll have to marry him?" Sarah's eyes searched his face for the answer 'no.' But Jareth simply sighed, then looked away from her as if it pained him to reply.
"Yes, Sarah. Which is why you should refrain from informing him, just as Ainle and I will. If he should ever find out..."
"I would never tell him, Jareth."
"Good. Since Phaedra is still residing in the castle, and I know those two have a very indecent past together, we will have to take extra caution in keeping our mouths shut around her." He looked back at her and removed his hands from hers. "We must leave soon, hurry and find something suitable to wear, I will return for you shortly." Then, he stood up and began walking toward the door.
"Jareth," Sarah called out just before his hand touched the door handle.
"Yes?" he answered, without turning to face her.
"You haven't broken your promise have you?" she whispered, feeling her stomach knot up with uneasiness. Jareth stood there for a few moments, as if he were actually considering his response. Finally, he turned to her with an obviously fake smile.
"I still love you, Sarah." And with that, he opened the door and quickly stepped out. As the door closed with a light 'click,' Sarah's eyes began to tear up. She quickly wiped them away and forbade herself to cry anymore. She would not let this situation get the best of her, or the relationship she had come to treasure so much. She would go with Jareth to see his mother, and if Saerin was there, she would indulge Jareth's request and keep herself away from him. Collecting her thoughts and emotions together, she jumped from the bed and began rummaging through her spare clothing.
"This should be fine," she whispered to herself hurriedly, holding up a pale blue velvet dress. The loose, almost transparent blue sleeves ended at the wrists. The bodice was a darker shade of pale blue, and was loose around her entire torso, and the skirt hung down to the floor. No decorations were present on the skirt, bodice, or sleeves, except for small silver linings here and there around the hems. As Sarah brushed her hair out roughly, she slid her feet into a pair of matching blue satin slippers. She had no idea Helori had spent so much time just building up her wardrobe, and she had almost forgotten how much it had grown since she first arrived in the Underworld. She had but one outfit, and now, she had several dresses for many different occasions. She rushed around her room, applying thin layers of makeup as she tried to straighten up the floor and tidy her bed up. When Jareth returned, he found her by the only window in her room, staring out onto the city which she had just recently began governing. He noticed that she held his ring in between her fingers. She turned it over and over as the light caught it and flickered red tinted flecks of color over the wall.
"Are you ready, Sarah?" he said lightly, and her eyes moved toward him with a melancholy look on her face. She sighed and began to walk in his direction, stopping only inches before she walked into him. She held up her left hand, then carefully slipped the ring onto her third finger.
"You know, Jareth...in ancient times...people believed that there was a vein in this finger that ran straight to the heart," she whispered to him, twisting the ring around her finger with her thumb. "And it was also believed that having a ring on this finger would symbolize the deep connection of love between the giver and the receiver. I want to believe that, Jareth. I want to never stop believing in our love and the connection we have to one another because of it. So yes, I am ready." She held her right hand out for him to take, and he did so. He looked at her with an expression of true empathy, and he finally smiled without having to force himself. As they both left the room together, Sarah realized that she was really a grown woman facing up to her first true problem on her own, without any influence or drive--except her own.
Later that night, the two of them stood outside Alayna's room. Sarah nudged him forward slightly. They could hear light conversation on the other side of the door, and Jareth hesitated as he looked over at her.
"Go on," Sarah whispered, and she raised her hand and knocked gently. The talking ceased, and Jareth opened his mouth to protest against her actions, but he quieted himself as he heard his mother's weak voice.
"You may enter." Jareth's eyes closed slowly, almost feeling how painful it must have been for her to speak. Then he pushed the door open slowly, and stepped into the room with Sarah on his arm.
"How are you, mother?" Jareth asked softly. Sarah closed the door quietly, and refrained from giving her wishes for his mother's recovery just yet.
"Jareth, my son, Braedon darling, Jareth has finally come," Alayna cooed from her place on a large cushioned bed, as she waved Jareth over to her meekly.
"Father," Jareth said, crossing an arm over his chest as he bowed.
"Your mother has wanted to see you for some time, my son. I do apologize for Alayna's condition, but her illness has rendered her somewhat delirious...or at least until she overcome this..."
"I understand father," Jareth replied, and Sarah released him as he walked over to Alayna's side.
"Jareth, my boy. You have left that pretty young lady standing there alone, let us not be rude to our guests..." Alayna said, wrapping her hands around Jareth's.
"Sarah," Jareth said without removing his eyes from his mother, "come here." Sarah clasped her hands in front of her, inhaled deeply, and walked across the room to where Jareth and his mother were.
"Y-Yes, Your Majesty?" she whispered, tilting her head to the side slightly.
"I remember you, young woman. You are the one Jareth almost married years ago," she gasped, a look of shock on her face.
"Alayna, dear, this is Sarah...she is Jareth's personal servant...you have only seen her twice," Braedon cut in before Sarah could think of a reply.
"I see, oh Jareth things have been so busy around here lately. I have been doing so much work cleaning, making sure the servants tend to their duties, keeping my darling Braedon company, going to parties, meetings, and...well...I am quite tired. I only wish you had come two days ago when I first sent for you! I needed the company when Braedon was not here to fill that void..." Alayna sighed, letting her hands drop to her lap in dismay.
"I am here now, mother. I apologize for my late arrival, but I had prior engagements I had to attend to before I came. Why are you doing so many things at once, mother? You know it is not good for you." Sarah bit her lip, feeling Jareth's slight pain of being unaccepted because of something he had done that wasn't necessarily wrong. Just then, the door creaked open and Sarah's heart felt as if it jumped into her throat as she saw Saerin enter the room. His eyes fell on her first, and she gasped as his eyes glittered with malevolence. She inched closer to Jareth's side, clenching her teeth. Jareth must have felt Saerin's presence without even having to look because he took her hand into his tightly, as if to chain her to him and keep Saerin away.
"Why Jareth, finally you decide to show up after that long and hard to bear two days since you had been called upon by Her Majesty," Saerin said sarcastically from behind the rest of them. Jareth chuckled lightly to himself, turning to face Saerin.
"I am sure you would understand, as I do have kingly duties that require a great deal of my time so that I may keep my kingdom in proper order. Although, you may not understand, for you are still only a lord and not a king...from which I may draw the obvious conclusion that you spend most of your time at parties and balls flirting with young helpless women..." Jareth retorted, the muscles in his jaw tensing up as his anger grew. He no longer wanted to have anything to do with this man after Sarah had explained his defiling acts word for word, with tears in her eyes. As Jareth's eyes glared a solid line of ice directly at Saerin, Sarah became nervous.
"Jareth..." she whispered under her breath.
"Now, now...you young men have been fighting ever since you were children. But you are both grown up now, I do believe it is time you started to act as such," Braedon interrupted. As Jareth turned back to his mother with a light growl, Sarah let out a sigh of relief.
"Your Majesty Alayna," Saerin said, bowing honorably before Jareth's mother.
"Oh, young Lord Saerin, how have you been?" she asked, sounding very interested in his reply. Saerin glanced sarcastically at Sarah, then back to Alayna.
"I have been extremely well. I came today to extend my deepest apologies concerning your illness, Your Majesty," he replied. Jareth scoffed lightly, watching Saerin and Alayna converse with one another. Jareth kept a tight grip on Sarah's hand as he saw Saerin moving closer to the three of them.
"Well thank you, but I am feeling rather fatigued with all this chit chat," Alayna chirped. Jareth's eyes darted back to his mother, having never heard her speak badly of idle talk.
"Lady Sarah, you are quite beautiful today" Saerin purred. Jareth jerked Sarah next to him, and she almost lost her footing as she threw her free hand against his arm to support herself.
"Jareth, dear...I called upon you to request that you remain her for a few days. Braedon will be gone on business and I do not want to be here alone...I fear I may not--"
"Mother--"
"Let her finish, Jareth," Braedon spat, bringing his fingers up to his temples. Alayna lovingly smiled at her husband, then continued.
"I fear I may not be able to get things done in the time I have been allotted without some help. Jareth, I just wanted you here until I recover, at least for the most part, if not completely."
"As you wish mother," Jareth nodded, "but there are documents I am currently going over and I have depended upon the Countess Sarah to aide me in completing them. If you would be so kind as to allow her to stay here as well..."
"Of course, my son. Of course. She can use one of the guest rooms in the main hallway," Alayna said softly, smiling at Sarah.
"So you have reached the stage of Countess..." Saerin said thoughtfully, clasping his hands behind his back. Neither Sarah nor Jareth replied, but they kept their attention on Alayna. Jareth began to speak when Alayna suddenly let herself gracefully fall back into the pillows behind her, and she closed her eyes.
"Jareth, please make yourself comfortable. I do apologize for my fatigue, but I do need some rest. I feel rather faint...Sarah, you may have any room you choose...it was good to see you again my darling son," Alayna whispered. Braedon rushed to his wife's side as he sensed her tired state finally kicking in full time.
"The three of you are free to go," Braedon said worriedly, "I shall inform you when I will be departing." That being said, Jareth bowed once to his father, then once again to his mother, and bade them goodbye. As Jareth and Sarah turned to leave, they came face to face with Saerin. He raised a brow and his chin jutted out slightly as if he were in deep thought. Sarah made the first move as she continued walking toward the door, pulling Jareth with her. Saerin followed close behind, but before either of them reached the door, they turned around and Saerin was gone. Jareth's parents didn't even notice that him and Sarah was still in the room, or that Saerin had disappeared. Jareth sighed, then made his leave of the room completely, holding Sarah close by his side.
After Sarah had chosen one out of the many guest rooms to use during her stay, Jareth took one next to hers. Mainly, in case something should happen or a certain someone should try and use his charm against her once again.
"Goodnight, Jareth..." she whispered awkwardly, holding her hands against her stomach. Jareth grabbed her hands and pulled her to him, then kissed her gently.
"Do not worry, Sarah. I will see you tomorrow morning." Sarah nodded, and they both separated and went into their own chambers for the night.
The next morning, they had breakfast in the main dining hall. Jareth's parents had four dining halls, but the one they were in was smaller than the other rooms. The smoky gray walls were decorated with paintings that looked like they came from the medieval times in Sarah's world. Women that had beautifully styled hoop dresses and intricately styled hair. Black lace curtains and tapestries lined the windows and gave the room a classic feel. Sarah felt slightly more comfortable in her surroundings then than she had in Jareth's castle. Alayna's appearance that morning has looked better than the day before. Although, she hardly said a word or ate any of her breakfast and excused herself before anyone else so that she could go see her husband before he left.
"Jareth," Sarah whispered from across the table, "You don't need me here...I can go back to the castle. You ordered all the servants to keep Saerin away or to notify you if he comes around...I'm protected there...Besides....I'm just getting in the way of you and your mother..."
"No, Sarah. You will not be going anywhere. You made me promise never to leave you alone again, are you now asking me to break that promise?"
"Jareth...he'll find out no matter what we do..." she said solemnly, leaning back in her chair. "He was so close to me last night...I felt as though he could sense that I..." Her eyes fell down to her stomach, and then they fluttered shut.
"Damn it, Sarah, don't you dare start giving up," Jareth said angrily as he slammed his hands down on the table and jumped from his seat. Sarah's eyes flew open and she stood from her seat as well.
"I feel so helpless right now! What do you--"
"Not here," he interrupted, holding a hand out to silence her.
"Jareth, I'm of no use to anyone here. I don't even feel like I belong here..."
"What is that supposed to mean? Have you taken back your acceptance to my proposal? If you are going to marry me, Sarah, you will have to get used to everything here." Jareth's voice had mellowed down, but Sarah still heard the angry tone. Jareth reclaimed his seat, but Sarah stayed standing.
"I...I'm sorry, Jareth. I do love you. This is all just so hard...I don't want to have this child, but I can't kill it. And...knowing that you aren't the father...just adds to my torment." Jareth stood up immediately after hearing her words.
"I understand how hard this must be for you, Sarah. But as we both have said before, real love should be the shield that helps us confront the problems we encounter in every day life. If we truly love each other, then that love we share should be able to help us through this. Before, I never would have said these things. I probably would have handled it differently. But you made me believe in them, and you gave me a reason to believe in them. Please do not give up yet, Sarah." Sarah's eyes had already begun to fill with tears as she listened to him. He was right, and she knew he never talked this way the first time they met. He was cold and cruel to her, and even in the beginning of their second meeting he was the same Goblin King she had now come to love so much. Before her tears could escape the boundary of her lashes, she wiped them away quickly. She smiled, walked to the other side of the table, and stopped next to him.
"You're right. I'm sorry..." she whispered, and Jareth pulled himself to a stand. Sarah placed her hands on her stomach as she looked up at him.
"We understand one another, then?" Jareth asked.
"Yes. But if you don't mind...I'd like to go back to my room and rest for awhile...I barely slept at all last night," she said softly.
"Of course, Sarah. But be careful. Even in my parents' estate with twice as many servants running about, Saerin can deceive them as easily as he deceived my servants. Like I said...his determination is unbreakable."
"I know. I had to find that out the hard way didn't I?" she replied, smiling faintly as she turned and left the room. Jareth slumped back down into his seat and tried to contemplate a way he could deal with Saerin's actions. He could bring it up with the Seelie Court, but that would mean getting Saerin involved, which would lead to him finding out about his unborn child. The courts would no doubt see to it that Saerin and Sarah were married, to preserve the bloodline and keep peace within the fae kingdom, if not for the child's future alone. Jareth knew how much it would thrill Saerin, not because of having a child or a marriage, but because he would be able to treat Sarah with the same indignity he had already forced upon her. He didn't know what else he could do without doing it at Sarah's expense. As he thought, he wondered in the back of his mind if the situation really was hopeless. Suddenly, he heard something sweeping the stone ground behind him, and as he turned around to confront the sound, he saw Phaedra.
"Hello, Jareth," she said, her lips curling into a malicious smile.
After traveling half-way across the estate, Sarah reached her room. Just as she had opened her door, she hesitated when she saw some movement out of the corner of her eye. Having a bad feeling about it, she continued to go into her room.
"I would not close that door if I were you, my lady," came Saerin's voice from behind her. Sarah automatically turned to face him, and she froze when she saw the insidious look on his face.
"Go away, Saerin," she whispered with disgust, placing her hand on the door and swinging it shut as hard as she could. But Saerin threw his hand out to catch the door before it closed completely.
"That was not a very clever thing to do, Sarah," he replied, stepping into her room, then sarcastically shutting the door behind him.
"How did you get back into this estate? Why isn't there anyone around like Jareth told me there would be? Get out, Saerin!"
"My status got me back into this estate. I am one of Braedon's counselors, Sarah. I help him with paperwork, and anything else he may need. I am a member of the royal courts!" Saerin laughed, taking a step at a time as he moved his way over to her. Sarah began to back up toward her window, hoping maybe she had left it open and she could scream for help once she reached it.
"I'm warning you, Saerin...leave me alone or--"
"Or...what?" he asked, nearing closer and closer as he began to take larger steps. "Oh...and I knew Jareth would leave that out in his explanation of the household servants. They are beneath me, Sarah. They will do as I say, even if they are not my servants to order around. I simply told them to go attend to that miserable Alayna. That woman really is the source of all my problems to take over this entire kingdom. She refuses to let anyone outside of her bloodline rule the Braedons' 'precious kingdom'...well...since Braedon is so entranced by her I know why I have not yet won his favor either I suppose..." Sarah simply let him babble as she backed up closer to her window. The longer she let him talk without interruption, the more she was able to stall him until she was able to reach her window. "I have spent countless years of my life helping those fools with their dramatic errands and tiring tasks, and they will not even repay me with so much as a single place in the royal family. They would have never made it this far without my expertise. But..." he sighed, "none of this concerns you, my dear. I will get what is due to me in time. But, at the moment, what I want is something I can get right now." After Saerin had finished speaking, he had backed Sarah into a wall.
"Don't you dare come near me," Sarah hissed, looking over toward her window, which was closed. She raised her hand to smash it open, but Saerin rushed up to her and grabbed her arm tightly, forcing it against the wall.
"Not so fast," he laughed. Sarah gritted her teeth and glared at him. Then she raised her hand and hit him hard across the face.
"I told you not to come near me!" she screamed. Then she raised her leg and kneed him in between the legs. Saerin groaned in pain as he released her arm and sank to the floor. Sarah immediately ran for her bedroom door, but before she could get past him, Saerin's hand flew out and grabbed her leg. She lost her footing and fell hard to the floor as she felt herself being jerked backward. She had hit her head on the stone floor, and it had knocked the wind out of her. She was unable to move or even see clearly. She fought blindly at Saerin's hands as he pulled her back toward him. As he crawled on top of her, he rolled her onto her back.
"I told you...never...to fight me...Sarah..." he groaned in between painful breaths. Then he reached a hand out and grabbed her frantically swatting hands. Saerin swallowed his pain hard, and he held her hands together above her stomach as he pulled her dress up with his other hand. He tore her panties off with one swift movement, and forced her legs apart with his knees. Sarah's eyes flooded with tears the moment she had hit the floor, but despite the pain, she was now crying from fear of having yet another possible rape to deal with from a man she so despised.
"Saerin, no!! Stop!!" Sarah cried, kicking her legs wildly as she tried to move her body away from him. Saerin had finally enough of her retaliation, so he reached behind him and fidgeted with his belt as if he were looking for something. When he had found what he was searching for, he pulled it out of its sheath and held a dagger in front of her. "Saerin get off of me! If I scream loud enough--"
"Yes, Sarah...if you scream loud enough...I will have to cut your tongue out to silence you. Is that what you want?" Saerin breathed heavily as he leaned down and placed the blade right over her lips. Sarah quieted herself, but continued to sob. She pulled her hands, trying to free them, although she had stopped kicking her legs.
"Please, Saerin...not again...why are you doing this? I haven't done anything--"
"Yes you have. Do you not remember our first meeting? Jareth came in between us before we had a chance to really get to know one another. I was truly interested in you, Sarah. But you had to fall in love with Jareth. That is how it has always been! Women falling for Jareth, always!"
"B-But you said you were--"
"A ladies man? Yes I did say that. And I was and still am a ladies man. But that is how I have always been, you see. Jareth has had so many marriage proposals from the fathers of wealthy women over the years. And me? I have had nothing but flirtatious promises. I am what you might call a 'one-night-stand' kind of man. When I had first seen you, I knew at that moment I wanted to start over. You appeared different to me. But like so many others, you treated me with ignorance, and you wound up belonging to Jareth. Not just physically, but mentally. I wanted something that Jareth had, yet again, stolen from me."
"Saerin he--"
"Shut up. I have made my choice, Sarah. I will have you, whether it be in the state of perpetual love, or without it."
"Saerin don't...please..." Sarah whispered against the blade as he held it firmly over her mouth. Saerin scoffed, and moved his fingertips over her inner thighs as if he were enticing her to scream. Sarah writhed underneath him and effortlessly tried to close her legs. She could do nothing but watch as he unfastened his pants and slowly pulled them down.
"Just keep quiet, my love," he whispered. Tightening his hold on her hands as he pressed them to her chest, he bent down and kissed her lips even as the blade lay between their mouths. Sarah rolled her head away, her sobbing deepening as she felt him lift her legs and wrap them around his waist.
"Plea--ahh!" Sarah cried painfully as he forced himself inside her. Her inner walls closed up around him, her body tensed up, and he moaned with pleasure at feeling her reaction. He pounded his hips hard against hers, even as she continued to try and pull her hands from his grip, she knew she could do nothing. She had lost any sense of hope she had before, but she just wanted to get away from Saerin. Her body was once again being tortured by him, and she could do nothing to stop it. She had failed Jareth a second time, and that felt like almost too much for her to handle. Her weeping grew louder as Saerin drove himself inside her even harder with a fierce hunger that Sarah wanted no part of. She cried numerous times for him to stop, and when Saerin had finally had enough of her noise making, he suppressed her by placing the dagger against her lips once again. Why was there no one around? Not even one servant to hear the commotion? Why did she leave Jareth at all? Why wasn't he coming to look for her or to even check up on her? Why was this happening to her again? She could do nothing but sob quietly and cry out in pain each time Saerin pushed himself too hard inside of her.
"If you had...fallen for me...I would not have to be so brutal with you...my love..." Saerin said in between heavy panting. Just as Sarah thought she couldn't take anymore, she heard Saerin moan deeply as he released himself inside her. Sarah broke down into a new set of tears, finally realizing it was all over. As he let her hands free, and pulled himself out of her, Sarah instinctively pulled herself away from him.
"Now will you go...?" she cried, pushing her dress down and pulling her legs shut. "You got what you wanted...now just leave me alone...please..." She reached for the bedpost and tried to pull herself up, but was unable to find the strength.
"Of course, Sarah, but do not forget..." Saerin began as he refastened his pants and pulled himself to a stand. "This incident stays secret as well." He walked over and stopped in front of her, dangling the dagger in front of her. "I suppose you will now actually take it into consideration even more so now that you know exactly what I will do to you if word gets out. Am I understood?" he said, still breathing with a slight heaviness. Sarah bit the inside of her mouth, and when she tasted blood, she finally answered him.
"Y-Yes...now get out..." she said hoarsely, still fighting back her tears. Saerin laughed to himself, and straightened his appearance as he continued to make his leave. Sarah clung to the bedpost until she heard her door close with a 'click.' When she felt that he was no longer in the vicinity of where her room was located in the castle, Sarah let herself fall to the floor. She lay there, and let herself break down once more. She cried for everything that had happened to her since she had come back to the Underground. Her meeting with Jareth, with Saerin, Phaedra, and even Jareth's parents and court members. She cried for having been raped twice now, and she had been so completely stupid as to fall into Saerin's hands again. She cried for having fallen in love with Jareth and causing not only herself, but causing Jareth pain that she could now never heal. She had failed him beyond the point of failure, and she definitely now did not feel worthy enough to marry a man of such high regard and bring shame to his kingdom. She would not allow herself, a completely destroyed and defiled woman, to ruin a bright future for anyone else, especially Jareth. She had to tell Saerin about the baby. And she knew the consequences, she may live under his power for the rest of his life, or he would kill her for never telling him in the first place. Either way, she knew what she had to do. And maybe perhaps, in her heart, she already knew and accepted that.