AUTHOR'S NOTE: right, first things first, yes, I'm a horrible person who should have updated ages ago and I have no real excuse. SORRY!
Actually I have kind of an excuse: Christmas + New Year + brother returning from uni and occupying his room and the computer I write this on.
To make things up to you all I promise the following by the end of January:
· two more chapters of Good Intentions
· the next chapter of Deal
· at least one one-shot which I'll be begging you all to read
· at least one new story which is almost complete so no long waits
And I mean to deliver!
Anyway, thankyou for all the reviews. I've got loads! Yeay! Anyway, in the review responses at the end there is a chance to win a sneak preview at the next chapter if anyone wants a shot. Only, it may be a tad unfair as it's kinda biased towards the brits amongst us - I can't be the only one.
And finally, live journals. How do you get one? Are they trouble to look after? Would people read one if I got one?
This is 9 pages before extras, so enjoy.
On with chapter twenty-one.
Chapter 21: Staring in DisbeliefHarry's words hung in the air as Ron froze in incredulity, one look at his friend's face showing that he meant every word.
"Harry, mate," he smiled weakly, "it's only Malfoy."
It was so obviously not the best thing to say and Hermione tried to step forward to shut her boyfriend up, only to find that she couldn't move. One glance across at Pansy showed that she too was stuck to the spot, unable to reach Draco, unable to go for help. Had she had either the time or self-possession to observe, to think, Hermione would be once again marvelling at the power Harry was displaying, however inadvertently. But as it was, she was unable to draw her gaze away from the confrontation before her.
"He'll be fine," Ron continued, not moving forward, but not retreating either, "he's probably faking. Lets just get out of here, they'll see to him," he gestured contemptuously towards the Slytherins but it was fairly pointless as Harry clearly wasn't registering his words.
"He's not yours to hurt," he growled.
"And he's not yours to protect," Ron returned exasperatedly.
"Yes, he is."
Ron goggled at the words spoken so clearly and uncompromisingly and which seemed to release something in Harry, for he sunk down against the wall, repeating them quietly, marvelling at them.
"Harry?" Ron whispered but Hermione cut him off.
"Go."
"But…"
"Just go." Ron obeyed, confusion and hurt written all over his too expressive face as he cast one last looked at Harry, who was now seemingly unaware of anything wider than himself and Draco.
The magic whooshed out of the room and all could feel the release as things were returned to normal, the dull thud as statues and ornaments fell down, stilled their frantic shaking.
The three Slytherins rushed down the stairs to where Draco still lay motionless.
"He's breathing," Pansy shouted up to Hermione, voice laced with relief.
"He's breathing," the words rung somewhere in the back of Harry's confused mind, though they did little to ease his torment as he was torn between an overwhelming, wrenching concern for Draco and dismay that he had finally shown his true colours and given up his most carefully hidden secret.
The Slytherins were cluttered around Draco, unsure whether attempting to move him would be more or less disastrous than the delay involved in running to get help. Each was silently running through the healing spells they knew, praying that somehow, somewhere they had the knowledge to help their friend.
It was, of course, Hermione who finally figured it out.
"Harry," she shouted, shaking her friend out of his guilt induced reverie, "Harry, do you trust me."
He looked up at her, barely registering her presence, "y-yes."
"Harry, you can help. Trust me."
"You can help," the words permeated the haze he was still wrapped up in and slowly he stood and followed her down to where Draco lay motionless, chest barely moving with each pitiful breath he took.
"Harry, Harry look at me," Hermione spoke slowly and carefully, resisting the urge to shake him into helpfulness. "Do you want him better?"
"Yes," it was a stupid question, he mused in a corner of his brain, because that was the only thing he knew, the one certainty in his life.
"Then concentrate of that, on making him better," she wasn't really sure how it worked, or even if it was, because maybe it was just something Draco could do, or five year olds could do, but it was worth a shot. She guided Harry's hands over Draco's head, holding them above the injured area as she remembered Draco doing months ago. 'Come on, come on, work,' she prayed quietly as Harry looked at her in confusion, pleading silently. "Just wish it," she encouraged desperately.
Slowly a dim white light began to wrap itself around Harry's fingers before crawling down to caress Draco's bleeding head, growing stronger as the seconds passed until the two boys glowed a brilliant white.
Within a minute Draco's breathing was stronger, after two the bleeding stopped fully and then his eyes were fluttering and Hermione pulled an amazed Harry away and conjured up a stretcher for Draco.
***
It was another slow day in the infirmary, and Madame Pomfrey was sitting with her feet up doing a crossword. Having spent the morning preparing the infirmary for the inevitable Quidditch casualties she expected tomorrow she felt that the rest was well earned as was happily puzzling out 51 across when Draco Malfoy floated into the infirmary.
It startled her somewhat.
She watched as he was followed by Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson, Milicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini and Harry Potter. After six years of seeing far too much of Harry Potter she could tell that he was not well, but the unconscious boy who was now lying the bed closest to her was her first priority. Hurrying over she assessed him quickly, noting the blood on his shirt, and his continued unconsciousness, but nothing more. Confused she looked at the students watching her nervously.
"At first inspection he seems to be fine, if unconscious. Would one of you please enlighten me."
"He...fell down the stairs, hit his head," Hermione began, "he was bleeding, unconscious, fading," she trailed off, realising just how close to death he had been.
"We though he was..." Pansy couldn't say it, changing tack quickly, "Harry sort of healed him."
"Sort of healed him?" Poppy tutted at the poor phrasing, bending over the boy once more, the white light tinting his auror explained, though leaving more questions about the bond between the boys. "Well, he should be waking up soon, though he'll be a bit dazed, I think. You say Mr Potter healed him?"
"Yes."
She looked across at Harry who was standing in the middle of the room, not seeming aware of what was going on around him. He was staring steadfastly at the window, determinedly not looking at the bed. Poppy moved to check him over, running through a few basic detection spells, discovering only shock and exhaustion as she had expected. Gently she guided him to the bed next to Draco's, knowing he would want to be near the other boy.
"If you could leave please," she turned to the other students, smiling reassuringly at them. "Miss Granger, if you could inform Professor's Lupin and McGonagol of what has happened, the rest of you tell Professor Snape. You can return in half an hour."
They left quickly, conditioned to obey the matron, and she sat next to Harry, lifting his head to meet her gaze.
"Harry, that was a good thing you did," she spoke softly, trying to break through the barriers he was throwing up. "You helped Draco. He's OK now, look. He's sleeping."
Again the words echoed in his head, "you helped Draco", but this time they reached into him, pulling him back slightly and he turned to look at the blonde lying on the bed next to him. He watched as his chest rose and fell with each steady breath, watched as the colour returned minute by minute into his face.
"Harry, he's OK," Poppy repeated, "can you tell me when he's going to wake up?"
'Not yet' he answered silently, watching the other boy sleep on, his own heart easing slightly at this continued proof of life, the guilt and remorse leaving him slowly. Poppy nodded to herself, stepping back and leaving Harry to his vigil.
***
Hermione found Remus first, teaching his first year Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff class things which she had had to teach herself due to Quirril's ineptitude. Though in all fairness he was busy being evil, she reasoned, so that took up a lot of his time. Knocking on the door she entered and asked to speak to Remus outside.
"What is it?"
He looked worn down, she noticed, and more troubled than he had in a long time "there's been an accident. Draco fell down some stairs and Harry lost his temper and then Harry healed Draco and now they're both in the infirmary."
It wasn't the most coherent explanation ever but the words Harry and infirmary were enough and Remus was all set to go, forgetting his class.
"Remus, class," she prompted gently.
"Right," he opened the door, walked swiftly to the fire and called the staff room. Professor Vector was soon stepping out of the fire to take control of the class for the rest of the lesson.
"He knows about Severus and me," Remus told her as they hurried off, "he was furious."
"Remus, I'm sorry," she placed a hand on his arm but he shook it off.
"He won't want to see me, he hates me."
"He loves you," she contradicted.
Remus fell silent and neither spoke until Hermione stopped to inform Professor McGonagol, who nodded her thanks but did not leave her class, knowing that it would not do to overwhelm the students while they were in the infirmary.
***
The three Slytherins ran down to the dungeons, and into Snape's unoccupied classroom without waiting for a summons, unconcerned about the retriubtuion such an act would generally incur.
"Professor," Pansy began hurriedly, "Draco's had an accident."
"Accident!" Milicent scoffed, only to be interrupted by Blaise.
"He fell down the stairs and was badly hurt and Potter healed him," it was clearly a limited explanation but it was enough.
"Potter explode," Millicent marvelled again, only to be silenced again.
"Potter lost his temper? Was it as bad as..." Snape asked and Blaise nodded, unsure how much to say.
"They are both in the infirmary," Pansy told him, "Madame Pomfrey told us to get you."
"Go back to the infirmary and summon me once Potter has left," Snape instructed, "I will inform Narcissa of what I know so far." Pansy opened her mouth to protest but Snape overrode her, "Potter will not want to see me, my presence will be disastrous."
"Something happened," Pansy thought out loud, "something else pushed him, that's why he lost it..."
Snape nodded, "he found out something that displeased him."
"Sir," she began, wanting to comfort him, by he wouldn't allow it.
"Go."
"Sir, I'm sorry," she said it anyway, squeezing his hand briefly as the other two marvelled at her daring.
They returned quickly to the infirmary, Pansy alone spotting Ron through an open window as he sat by the lake.
"You guys have too many secrets," Milicent complained as they walked, "what the hell happened out there?"
"Honestly, your guess is as good as ours," Pansy confessed, "but any secrets were are keeping aren't ours to tell."
"Well someone better had," Millicent grumbled, "I thought we promised to support each other in this, otherwise we might as well go back to our families."
"That's not fair."
"No, sorry."
They finished the journey in silence, entering the infirmary and crowding round Draco's bed, Pansy holding his hand.
"Wake up Draco," she whispered, watching in amazement as he obeyed, eyes fluttering open.
***
The half hour respite she had given Harry was almost at an end and Poppy approached him once again.
"Harry, let him wake up," she urged, "he's safe here." Maybe that was the right thing to say, or maybe it was going to happen anyway, but Harry finally turned away from Draco, curling up in a foetal position on his own bed. As he did so Draco's eyes began to flutter as he moved out of sleep, still dozing but reachable now. "Thank you Harry," she said quietly as the doors opened and those she had expelled returned.
Hermione rushed to his side, worried that something new had happened in her absence.
"Harry?" she began, the unease clear in her voice, "you OK?"
He sat up and smiled weakly at her, "yeah 'Mione I'm OK. Sorry if I scared you."
"You were amazing," she clamped her hand over her mouth as she realised how horribly inappropriate that was, all things considered but Harry only smiled slightly, eyes drifting however beyond her, settling on Remus.
"Oh God, I was awful to him," he moaned shamefully. "Did...I...I was awful."
"It's OK, you just got a bit of a shock that's all."
"No, I mean, you know?"
"Um, yeah," it was Hermione's turn to be embarrassed as the look she was receiving clearly screamed 'why the heck didn't you tell me.'
"I can't talk to him yet," he confessed exhaustedly, "I just want to sleep."
"You can't avoid him forever."
"I know that," his voice raised slightly, causing Madame Pomfrey to glaring disapprovingly over at him. Hermione moved over to Remus, obviously dismissing him because the man left immediately, shooting one last unreadable look at Harry and making the boy feel even more guilty.
"Right young man," the matron bustled over to him, running a few quick tests, smiling at the results. "You are free to go, if that's OK with you."
"Yes please," he nodded feverantly, eager to be as far away from the infirmary and the Slytherins as he could get now everything was back to normal, though the gnawing in his stomach believed that statement.
"Well...as long as you promise to go straight to bed. You've overexerted yourself what with one thing and another," she scolded gently, sensing that he needed some time to himself after the drama's of the day. "Rest up over the weekend, come back here on Sunday and I'll pass you for lessons on Monday, how's that."
"Swell," he muttered sarcastically, a nudge from Hermione forcing a more polite, "great thanks," from him.
Walking carefully from the infirmary he kept his gaze fixed on the floor in front of him, determined not to turn, not to look at Draco. As such he almost missed the weak "Potter" that came from the occupied bed. Turning reluctantly he met the other boy's gaze head on.
"It goes away, that feeling in the pit of your stomach. Trust me, every time you've felt it once, I've felt it ten times."
Harry nodded, and turned to go, ignoring the curious looks of the other four and the fact that Hermione had in all probability turned into a human question mark.
It was only when she had tucked him up into his bed with instructions not to leave until the next morning on pain of death (or comfy chairs!) that he grabbed her hand with an anguished look, saying "shit, what about Ron?"
***
What about Ron indeed?
The boy was still sitting by the lake an hour later when Pansy finally left Draco to sleep, having resisted questioning him about his parting comment, partly because Draco looked ready to thump himself for saying anything at all.
Walking down to the lake she placed one hand on his shoulder, "this seat taken."
He didn't answer but he didn't hex her either, so she sat down, though with no intention of sharing the silence with him.
"Draco's fine, if you care," she began with no trace of bitterness. "The whole thing kind of threw Harry for a loop but everything is as close to normal as it ever is."
Ron gave no indication of having heard a word she said but she continued on regardless.
"I'm guessing you've been out of the loop for a while now. Blaise and I haven't said anything to the other Slytherins and I'm sure Hermione and Seamus have kept everything to themselves. I could explain it all to you, but it's not my place. I will, however, attempt to cheer you up by sharing rather an interesting piece of gossip. Did you know that Professor Lupin's mate is Professor Snape?"
"No fucking way," the curse escaped Ron's lips before he could stop it and Pansy grinned.
"Thought that'd get you talking."
He glared at her for a moment before conceding the point, chuckling. "Cheat."
"Slytherin."
"Not the best point to dwell on, given my behaviour."
"Hum, let me see, Ron Weasley, quickly loses his temper and quickly regrets it, that sound like a good description?"
"Yeah, actually."
"So what was it this time. Played the over protective boyfriend card a bit strongly didn't you?"
"Pathetic eh? The horrible truth is that it was more of an excuse than anything, a way to have control over things again."
"So you weren't jealous."
"Hermione would never be interested in Malfoy. God, I sound conceitedly certain, don't I? But I don't mean it like that. The opposite rather. I wasn't jealous at all, not about loosing my girlfriend. I was angry and upset that I was loosing my friend, but...I don't know, really. Its like...everyone spent so much time saying how perfect we would be for each other that when we started going out we were obliged to make it work. Because that was how it was meant to go, me marry Hermione, Harry marry Ginny."
"In case you didn't know your baby sister seems rather taken with Dean Thomas, so that one's failed."
He didn't respond because he didn't have anything to say, but he didn't want her to go because despite himself he liked the company of the surprising girl.
"You don't love Hermione do you?"
"I don't know, which makes me think I don't, because if I did then surely I would know."
"Complicated thought processes for a Gryffindor."
"We can surprise."
"Yes," she gave him a pointed look, "yes you can."
They fell silent again, Pansy feeling glad that she had followed her instincts when they told her to talk to the boy beside her because he really did need someone to talk to.
"So what do I do?"
"She looked at him incredulously, "hello, Slytherin here. Personally, I think I'd be running for the hills after that display, but foolish Gryffindor that you are I guess it'll be the apology and hugs route for you."
"I dunno. I can sort of hold a grudge at times."
"But Hermione and Harry can't, I think."
"Perhaps they should."
"Maybe, but that's their look out. But for now, I have housemates to placate, plus another disappearing Draco to explain, so lets go inside and pretend to face up to things maturely."
"Sounds like a plan."
She pulled him to his feet and they walked back the castle, Pansy practising more lies, Ron practising yet another apology, both of them keeping their fingers crossed.
Before they parted ways Ron reached out to stop Pansy leaving.
"Thank you. I don't know why you came down but I was feeling really awful and you made things seem a bit better. It means a lot."
Flushing, Pansy just smiled at him before turning off to the dungeons and Ron steeled himself for his return to Gryffindor with the hope that just maybe he hadn't ruined everything after all.
END CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Well, long time and all that but here it is.
As I said above, I absolutely totally and utterly promise to have the next chapter out on Monday 19th January.
Anywho, review responses follow.
Vicious Lily: hey, thanks for the compliment! *hands reviewer tissues and makes sympathetic noises*
Miss Lesley: Yup, I liked my look into the staff, plus I think it kinda tackled the Dumbledore thing a bit. Sorry about the ridiculously long update delay but I totally promise the next won't be as bad. I seem to have pleased so many people by writing a nasty Ron yet I don't hate the boy at all! Strange, eh? But you're right, he is a tad childish. Thought about what you said, about Ron and his screwy priorities and kinda addressed it here – thanks for that! Anywho, Draco's looking better though!
wintermoon2: aw, thanks. So were you British in another lifetime then? Gotta love Azhure for putting you onto Robbie, meant to thank her, actually. Cus he is fab. Which CD did she send? Guessing Escapology as it's Feel you quoted. Listen to Life Through A Lense if you can, it's his first and the least depressing!
SO jealous she's seeing him in concert – his big open air concert here was on tele again and I forgot to record it AGAIN. Bugger.
D2? Not sure I've heard of them.
Glad you liked the chapter anyway, nearly didn't reply on principal after BFTP ended how it did but the sequel was up faster than my next chapter *hangs head in shame at slowness* so you're forgiven. A bit.
Angel: sorry, not so much on the quick update. Oops!
Amirathis: funny you should say that, it kinda feels like eternity! Hope this comes close to matching up to chapter 20!
NayNymic: hey, glad you like! Yup, gives me even more chance to indulge in Sev/Re interaction now. Yeay!
jeannie81: ok, calm dear, calm!
ShaeLynn: see, no killing, unlike some people…glares at wintermoon2 pointedly. Yup I'm still grieving.
Rachel: eruption averted, I'm afraid! Hope this didn't seem too out of left field.
Sly4: thanks!
The Last Hope: yup, I liked the ending too.
Marishamarish: was nice ending! Well, for me.
angel74: "weird, yet powerful chapter" thanks!
JoKeR: I can't tell you that! Or maybe this chapter kinda did. You'll see!
GoldenSunnyGrl: hey, no need to apologise! Thinking the whole betaing thing ain't going to work until I get my act together a bit. I'll e-mail you.
Sapphire: Nope! Yes! Maybe! *grin*
Frizzy: wow hi again *giggles like proper fangirl* still busy being peeved about them chucking Magnetic Attraction, though slightly mollified that it wasn't cus someone complained! Anyway, led me to discover foreverfandom.net properly so yeay! Anyway, glad you liked the chapter, but Harry can't hex Ron, he's his best friend! Well, maybe a little…
FantasyChick: glad you like it.
cRazy-GIrl-3000: aw, thanks, glad you like it! As for the reviews, I know! I keep looking and blinking and checking and going WOW. Feel so loved!
TigerBlak: sorry on the cliffie. Actually I'm not cus it makes people review, but I can make like I'm sorry, if it helps. This was fairly cliffie less, though.
Sapphire Raine: bribery? Well it makes me feel important, so feel free!
Scorn-Silverstar: yup, I like the cliffhangers too, but only when I write them…funny that!
lily day: die? Not too much responsibility for little old me then? Eek!
OxBeachFlirtxO1: well Harry healed him. Better now?
Nifty: um, afraid I did just leave you like that cus I'm the author and I can *evil laugh* Hope this chapter didn't leave you too anxious!
Taddybear: aw, thanks! Glad some one is suitably jealous of my meeting the lovely Tony Head! Ain't he great?! As far as I know Watcher has yet to go much further than Joss's brain, though Tony Head is on our screens loads at the mo. Am hoping that Watcher is made one day but somehow not holding my breath!
death-resurrected: glad you like the tension, but it'll probably be short lived, I don't want everyone all upset and anyway Harry needs a family. Enjoy it while it lasts!
Goddess JacquesPierre: hey, no teasing the author – that way lies chapter withholding! And anyway, maybe I did drop a draw, you don't know! *pouts* Found the whole 'learn about English' bit fascinating – how do you know all that stuff? Sadly I am on the verge of thinking about posting the first chapter of a Deal-esque fic whereby they are having sex, but it's not just an excuse, honest!
And: "an hour later, Draco said, "Well, that was fun. Now, where have my pants gone?"' – can I use this line? Please? I'm sure I could find room for it, made me laugh a lot.
And yes, sadly the fic was infact based around my urge to use the line "I suggest you get the fuck out of here before I do something I might regret," and the reason for saying it, along with the 'he's mine' bit of this chapter.
Plaintosee: confused: "I adored the scenes with harry and draco as children, which is very 'girlie' and therefore slightly irritating" – what did you mean???? Didn't mean to bumb you out, honest! Well, maybe a little *sheepish grin* Anywho, I'm female, and I update in my head more frequently than on computer, which doesn't help you any but still. I try to update more frequently than I have recently, and the next two chapters will be up real soon. And your English is fab, by the way, far better than my German which doesn't extend much past Guten Morgan and Gruss Gott, which I read it a book as a kid and now remember.
Mysstique: awe, thanks! What happens next? Well, everyone mistakes Harry for the comic messiah himself and follows him around, doing funny walks and shouting 'no, no, not the comfy chair' and then it climaxes in a hotel in Torquey – Torbay! – where literally thousands of Spanish waiters are getting clipped around the ear. Hows that? – and I'll send a little preview of chapter 22 to anyone who knows where that drivel came from!
Dragenphly: glad you're enjoying it!
Plaintosee: here you go! Ring finger? Auras? Oh no, sent review crazy. Oops!
Terra Evans: thanks for the blessing. Obviously you ain't seen Deal!
Kate: so sorry dear, but be safe in the knowledge that heckling works!
Also thanks to Razberry, The Last Hope, Renisse, Lex, willow-nymph, Isis-mystic, Shuo Ri, Dracona Malfoy, Aubrey's Black Rose, Melissa, Chekiita, SilveredDeath and JKH