Empty Hearts and Empty Souls
It had actually been BEAST's idea. Satsuki, bored and confused over her relationship with Yuuto, had been lacking her usual enthusiasm.
Satsuki had been very surprised when her computer suggested that she would sleep with Subaru Sumeragi. But come to think about it, it wasn't such a bad idea. Subaru was pretty, and maybe Yuuto would rethink his priorities if he knew that she wouldn't wait forever. She doubted this project would be boring, and she was very right.
Satsuki had ravished Subaru in the elevator, which BEAST conveniently had stopped. Subaru had been surprised, but apparently not displeased. It wasn't gently and loving, but it had been oddly satisfying.
She had hurt Subaru, and felt quite sore herself. It didn't matter to her, but it did bother her that he didn't care either.
"Am I the first woman you ever fucked?" Satsuki had asked. To her delight Subaru had looked embarrassed. Subaru really was cute.
"The first person."
It had surprised her to hear. She had assumed things had gone that far between him and the last sakurazukamori. Satsuki never had sex with someone before either, but she never understood what the big deal was. She still didn't.
They never said "I love you", because that would have been a lie. Satsuki didn't understand love, but she understood lust. And honesty. She never knew what Yuuto was thinking, how much of what he said that was true and what was a part of whatever game he played. Subaru either stayed quiet or said whatever was on his mind.
It never creased to amaze Satsuki that Subaru would take anything from almost everyone. That he let her move him around like a plaything. Subaru actually was more powerful than she was. After pressing BEAST on the subject, it finally admitted that it was true.
They never had personal talks after or before sex, but sometimes when the dragons of earth's headquarter was empty they talked about anything that came was on their minds.
"Sometimes." Subaru said. "You are so much like him."
There was no need to precise who "him" was. There was only one person in Subaru's mind. It started to bother Satsuki.
"You need to stop thinking about that." She sighted, knowing that he wouldn't take her advice.
"You are." Subaru insisted. "You think just like him, you believe that people are things. But you still wants someone to prove you wrong."
"People mean less than things." Satsuki said. "A computer is the most important thing in the world. Things are built to be useful, people aren't. BEAST means much more to me than a human being."
"Sometimes I wonder if you say these things only to shock me."
"I'm not the only one. People care more about their property than about other humans. How many people are willing to give their money to starving children in Africa rather than buying new cloths? How can they kill animals and then claim that of all lives, only human ones are are wrong to take?"
"People doesn't mean to be cruel." Subaru weakly protested. But he knew he couldn't win against Satsuki and half of the time he though she was right.
"Neither do I." Satsuki said. "None of us do, but people still die. Tokyo is in ruins."
"If this world ends, something else can come in it's place.." Subaru said. "That's what we are fighting for, isn't it?"
Satsuki shrugged, she fought because she had nothing better to do.
When all this started she felt like she would live forever. World destruction was something almost beautiful. It still was, and people still meant nothing to her. But along the way something had changed. She couldn't put her finger on it, maybe it was the fact that she no longer was bored.
"This is it." Subaru said. "Today everything will be decided."
Satsuki only nodded.
"Will you miss the world Satsuki-kun?"
Would she? Now when what she wanted finally was here, she wasn't that sure if she still wished for the same future as a year ago.
"I don't know." Satsuki answered.
It was the first time she lied to Subaru, and the last thing she ever told him.