Admittedly, there were moments were his 'trying' did make things better, but most of the time, it just really uncomfortable and awkward.
His mother tried to take him shopping with her, and he did manage to hint at –okay, actually he practically pointed at- what he wanted for Christmas. You'd think that after twelve years she'd know that he wanted books. He certainly wouldn't have minded a gift certificate to the book store.
They had gone to get Dad and Jerry's present. Well, since neither he nor Jerry got allowances, Harry just kind of stood off to the side and made comments on his mother's choices. So, but the end of the day, he was nearly bored to tears.
'But she means well...' a part of himself scolded.
The only two highlights of their time together was at the bookshop and the small café they went to, to take a break in and to warm up from walking around in the snow. The café was called the 'Dancing Bean' and there was picture of a hyperactive coffee bean doing the 'Jitterbug' next to the sign.
Harry had gotten himself hot chocolate since he never really acquired a taste for coffee, unlike his mother who could down cups of if before actually feeling some of it come into affect. She easily drank the scalding bitter liquid without even blowing on it and Harry watch in an almost horrified fascination. He wondered why she drank her coffee like that.
Lily gave a satisfied hum after her initial gulp, ''That was fun wasn't it?''
Harry nodded stiffly, trying to plaster a smile on his face. Of course, he was really bad at pretending to be happy...
Lily noticed and sounded a bit depressed, ''At least tell you enjoyed some part of it...''
''I liked the bookstore...'' Harry replied uneasily.
Lily took another sip and nodded neutrally, ''Oh... oh yes, you're always reading.''
Harry resisted the urge to reply sarcastically. So instead he gave a noncommittal shrug and muttered, ''Yeah, sort of...''
''I'm surprised you didn't get sorted into Ravenclaw.'' His mother mused.
Harry mentally winced and hoped this conversation wouldn't go the wrong way. ''Well, it's not like I could tell the Sorting Hat...''
''I guess... I just...well, it was unexpected. You certainly don't seem... you know.'' Lily tried to say, but even she knew that her half-ended statement sounded bad. Lily cringed.
''They aren't... like that.'' Harry lied, ''They're just...''
He stopped for a moment, trying to think of the right word, 'Cunning, sneaky, dangerous, malicious, sadists...'
''Different.'' Harry finally said, hoping she'd buy it.
Luckily she did –just barely- and then sort of drifted off to the next subject. ''Are you positive you want to go back to Hogwarts, the whole incident is making me uneasy. I really would rather you...''
''I didn't do so well, I mean I haven't been doing so well and I was hoping that I'd find a way to raise my grades. I've been studying really hard and I don't really want it all to go to waste.'' Harry quickly responded.
''Oh...is everything alright?''
''Yeah,'' Harry quickly tried to think of another lie. This was getting harder and harder. ''Just stuff I didn't really understand at first, but now I'm finally getting it, so I think I have a chance of raising my grade.''
''Oh... alright.'' Lily replied, a bit lost, but then she never got involved with Harry's schoolwork, so she wasn't really sure how to handle the situation.
The both of them fell into silence and it remained that way for the rest of the trip.
''Surprise!'' Two loud voiced called from the doorway as Harry opened the door.
Harry's face brightened, ''Uncle Sirius! Uncle Remus!''
Harry gave his two uncles a hug and then helped them with their coats. At this time, James had walked to the doorway and enthusiastically greeted the two Marauders.
Next, Jerry and Lily also rushed over and exchanged greetings with the two men. But afterwards, Sirius tackled Jerry and the two of them began to horseplay around the living room.
Remus, who was the more reserved Marauder, gave a genial smile at his friend's antics and went over to the dining room to take a seat with Harry, Lily and James.
''I didn't even know you were coming!'' James started in a surprised and pleased tone, he really didn't mind sudden unplanned visits, especially from this friends.
Remus shrugged, ''It was Padfoot's idea. You know how he is when he gets a scheme in his head.''
James laughed, ''Ah, the times we had all based off of Padfoot's wild whims. Remember that time with Snivelly...''
Harry quietly excused himself from the table. He hated when his dad talked torturing some poor kid named Snivelly –although he suspected that wasn't his name- back when he went to Hogwarts.
The problem was that his dad's glory moments weren't that far off from Jerry's torture session. In fact, Harry suspected a lot of them were inspired by his dad's stories.
Harry headed in the direction of the downstairs bathroom, but took a detour and decided to sit in the dark, on the steps leading upstairs.
He allowed himself a little smile. He always liked it when Uncle Remus came over. Uncle Remus was a bit more like him. Harry remembered the time they took a trip to the park with Uncle Remus and Uncle Sirius. Lily, James, Jerry, and Uncle Sirius had played a sort of ground version of Quidditch, which looked more like a mixture of the Muggle games: dodgeball and basketball.
Uncle Remus had been kind and decided to stay with him on the picnic blanket. At first Uncle Remus was a bit nervous since Lily and James had told him not to bother Harry too much because of his 'problems'. Harry had been laying down at first, sleeping quietly on his stomach. But as the afternoon sun rose into the middle of the sky, the brightness woke him up.
Uncle Remus had stared cautiously at Harry, hoping that he didn't do anything rash. But Harry just got up into a sitting position and looked up at Remus. Harry gave him a small childlike smile and pointed at him, ''You have special eyes.''
Surprised by the strange comment, Remus jumped a bit and stared. Then he remembered the comment, ''O-oh, why do you say that?''
''They're yellow. I don't see many people with yellow eyes.'' Harry replied shyly.
Remus blinked, ''Um... right...''
Upon hearing Remus' answer, Harry thought that he had said something wrong, so he shrank down, looking embarrassed and a little sad. Harry stared at the checkerboard blanket. He should have listened to Jerry and not bothered Uncle Remus, of course Jerry was right about Uncle Remus thinking he was a stupid little boy.
Harry quietly moved away from Remus and scooted over to the basket, which was in the shade, and looked through it. After a few minutes, he found a green apple and gave a squeak of happiness as he took the apple and ran to the water fountain to wash it.
When he came back, he caught Remus staring at the apple he was holding. Harry made a sort of disappointed face as he remembered his mother's words of being courteous to Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus during their visit. Harry walked over and held the apple out, ''Do you want it?''
''Uh...Didn't Lily only pack one apple?''
''It's okay, you can have it if you really want it.'' Harry said quietly.
''But you had it first.''
Harry shrugged, ''Mommy says I have to be polite.''
''No no, it's okay, you can have your apple.''
Harry frowned even more. Uncle Remus wanted the apple, so why wouldn't he take it? He was supposed to take it, that way Harry wouldn't get in trouble. What if Uncle Remus later told Mommy that he was rude and took the only apple.
Harry quickly put the apple down on the blanket next to Remus, ''There.''
Remus frantically shook his head, ''No no! I don't...''
Remus sighed and picked up the apple to hand back to Harry, ''Take it.''
Harry took a step back and shook his head while keeping his arms behind his back to show that he wouldn't accept it.
Remus made a quiet frustrated sound and stood up to hand it Harry but Harry only took more steps back. Remus suddenly took a large step forward at Harry. Harry's eyes grew wide and he squeak right before he took off in a frantic run.
''Wait!'' Remus shouted after the little boy who ran too fast and followed after him.
Harry quickly ducked behind the tree and yelled back, ''No! It's yours!''
''But you wanted it!''
''You can't trick me into getting in trouble!'' Harry shouted back before darting off towards the next tree.
Remus broke in to a run after the little boy while muttering, ''This is why I don't have kids.''
''I'm not trying to get you in trouble Harry! The apple is yours!'' Remus called out as he continued to run, panting in between words.
''You're lying! Just like Jerry!''
''I'm not lying!''
Remus chased after Harry for about ten more minutes.
Then a voice called from the top of the hill, where Remus had left the picnic stuff, ''Hey Remus! What are you doing?''
Remus sighed and treaded up the hill.
When he finally got up there, he saw that the rest of the family had gotten back from their game. Jerry was currently digging through the basket for snacks.
Remus held up the apple, ''Harry got out an apple and he was going to eat it. But I happened to be watching him and he thought I wanted the apple too. So he gave it to me. And told him that I didn't want the apple and that it was his.''
Remus then let his hand drop down as Lily asked, ''So, where's Harry now?''
''Hiding behind the fifth tree to the left, he won't let me give it back to hi- '' Remus suddenly stopped and looked down at his now empty hand.
He looked up a bit and saw Jerry munching on the apple. Jerry grinned at him remorselessly and held up the partially eaten apple, '''sgood.''
Lily lightly scolded Jerry, but Jerry only whined, ''But I'm hungry mum.'' And she stopped.
Remus looked down at his empty hand and then back at Jerry, who was almost done eating the apple that he and Harry had fought over for nearly fifteen minutes.
Later when the four went back down the fountain to feed the ducks, Harry reappeared.
Remus was sitting on the blanket and looked up at the scrawny boy. He spoke, with a hint of bewilderment and annoyance, ''Jerry ate the apple.''
''I know.'' Harry whispered.
Remus looked up at Harry, ''Why didn't you just eat it?''
''You...''
''I was just watching you to make sure you were safe. I wasn't after your apple. And now Jerry has eaten it...'' Remus finished with a slight bit of scorn in his voice.
Harry, having thought the tone was directed at him, gave a wavery whisper, ''I'm sorry.''
Remus looked surprise, ''What? No! I... I wasn't mad at you. Your... your brother could sure learn some manners...''
Harry shrugged.
A moment passed and the two were silent.
Then finally Remus asked, ''Does Jerry always eat all the apples?''
''Just the ones I want to eat.'' Harry replied quietly.
''I see...''
''Hey'' Remus whispered in front of Harry, startling Harry from his distraction.
Harry looked up and grinned. Then he looked back towards the direction of the kitchen, ''I thought you were...''
''Nah. Sirius joined in the conversation...'' Remus made a face. ''I'm not so good at retelling the stories...''
''I feel sorry for him.'' Harry murmured.
''Who?''
''Snivelly?'' Harry said, making a face at the name.
''Ah, yeah...'' Remus paused, a flash of regret going across his face. ''I... they were –are- my friends. I just... I guess I just went along with it.''
''What's his name?'' Harry asked.
Remus stopped a second to think. If Snape was Harry's teacher... would telling Harry that they had tortured his head of house be such a good idea? But then Harry wasn't like most children.
''You know him...'' Remus said slowly.
Harry raised a brow and then thought about it, 'Who's dad's age and would be nicknames Snivelly...let's see, Snivelly... like... snivel? No, I don't know anyone that snivels... Sn... Oh.'
Harry looked up at Remus, ''Snape.''
''Wow. That was fast.'' Remus murmured.
''What did you guys do to him?''
Remus let out another deep sigh and sat down next to Harry, ''We... we publicly humiliated him. Did things like hang him upside down and strip his pants. And we'd pull numerous horrible pranks on him... And then, there was that prank that went too far...''
''Shrieking Shack?''
''Your dad told you?''
''I was eavesdropping on Dad and Sirius once. It was after Jerry's birthday party.'' Harry replied in a dull voice. He hated that story the most. The week after hearing that story, he would wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of Jerry luring him into a hole under the tree and there, a wolf how enormous yellow teeth would rip him to shreds. He had woken up screaming a few times, but Mum had thought it was because he was disturbed and thus he experiences a huge influx of Medi-witches and Medi-wizards for the next month. After that, he would somehow subconsciously force himself to scream into his pillow and thus muffle out the sound.
He knew it was dangerous, to keep that up, many times he realized that he had completely stopped breathing. His lungs collapsed in fear and a slow ache in his stomach and head from oxygen deprivation.
The dreams had finally faded away around four months later, but every time he even heard his dad hint at that incident, he would feel sick.
Harry looked up, expecting Remus to have that same smug expression that Dad and Sirius when talking about it. But instead Remus looked pale and probably worse than how sick Harry felt at the moment.
Remus climbed up a few steps and found himself sitting a step lower than Harry. The soft timbre in his voice was laced with shame, ''Did they say who the werewolf was?''
Harry nodded and then murmured, ''I know it wasn't you. I mean, I know you... are what you are. But during that time, you weren't in control.''
''I almost killed him Harry.'' Remus whispered. ''Why aren't you scared of me?''
''Donno. If Uncle Sirius never told Snape about that hole... he wouldn't have went in and you wouldn't have almost eaten him...''
''I still feel horrible about it.'' Remus whispered. ''In the end Slytherin had lost points and we didn't... not even a minor dent. No detention... nothing for that horrible thing we did. Merlin, I don't know what I would have done if I was in his place. He wasn't even allowed tell his family, Dumbledore placed him under a special charm. Kept him from telling what happened. He would try to, but right before the words would come out , he could completely blank out.''
''Must have drove him insane.''
Remus nodded. ''Yeah... He wasn't so horrible at first. Bookish, he really should have been in Ravenclaw. Didn't get along with the Slytherins at all. James always tells these horrible stories about him because they just didn't get along. Minor spats, random hexings... we actually did worse to him because it was him against the four of us...''
Remus leaned to the right and rested his head against the railing of the stairs. ''He knew just how to irk James too; he'd say horrible things about your mum. I don't think he meant them, but he knew it would rile James up really badly. Anyways, after the Shrieking Shack incident, he... he started to really cozy with the Slytherins. And then got Lucius and his goons involved. It got really bad, the pranking and the hexing. Our houses nearly tore each other apart and in the end the Headmaster had to threaten us with expulsion in order to quiet us down.''
''He was bitter, betrayed'' Harry murmured to himself.
''Yes.''
''Is that why he became a ...'' Harry trailed off. Bugger! He wasn't supposed to...
Remus' eyes narrowed as he looked up, ''How'd you know?''
''You know?!'' Harry asked, astonished. ''If you know he's a ... you know. Why don't any of you put him in Azkaban?''
Remus shook his head, ''Wait... Uh, you're confusing me. What is 'you know.'?''
Harry whispered sharply, ''Death Eater.''
''Oh! How'd you...?''
''I accidentally turned in the wrong direction once and I heard him talking to someone, another ... you know.''
Remus debated the situation. Since Harry knew that he knew that Snape was a Death Eater, then it wouldn't make sense for Remus to tell him to be quiet and not talk about it because obviously it meant that Harry would be put into direct danger. But if he told Harry the truth, it would risk exposing...
But Harry wasn't normal was he?
Remus held out a finger and said sternly, ''Now what I'm about to tell you is extremely confidential, no one can know. You could be putting a lot of lives at stake if this gets out. What you hear from me here never reaches another soul. Do you understand?''
Harry looked a bit scared, but his desire to know overruled his fears. He licked his lips and nodded.
''Snape is a Death Eater, but he works for us. You know the...''
''Order.'' Harry finished.
Remus's eyes flew up, ''Where did you? Merlin! Do you eavesdrop on everyone?''
''Dad doesn't do such a good just of... being discrete.''
''Anyone ever tell you you're too inquisitive for your own good?''
Harry shrugged, ''No, no one to tell what I know.''
Remus sighed and nodded, ''Right. Does Jerry?''
''No... Jerry doesn't. If it's not about Quidditch, he won't pay attention to it.''
''Ah.. well...''
''Go on... you said he works for the Order.''
''Yes... He's a spy for us. It's a very dangerous job.'' Remus said in hushed tones.
''Yeah.'' Harry breathed, but at the same time he was thinking about how much of a relief it was to find out that Snape wasn't trying to kill him. But what about that Quidditch incident...
''But there was that time. Hermione said that Snape was trying to hex my broom during a Quidditch match...''
''Oh. That was Quirrell. We got it out of him after...'' Remus suddenly stopped, ''Hey! I'm not supposed to be telling you this!''
''I won't tell!''
''This is confidential Order business.''
Harry nodded frantically, ''I know. I promised I won't tell and I won't. Cross my heart, hope to die.''
Remus cringed, ''Don't say things like that.''
Harry rolled his eyes and then he looked intently at Remus, ''So, about Quirrell.''
''No! I'm telling you anymore, my reputation is going to as bad as Hagrids if anyone finds out...''
''But I'm old enough...'' Harry started, but stopped as Remus shot him a look.
Harry wilted, ''Fine... I'm not old enough.''
''Harry it's not that- '' Remus started.
But he was suddenly interrupted by Sirius popping his head in front of the stairs, ''Hey you two, conspiring something? A prank maybe?''
Remus shot Sirius a derisive look, ''Grow up Pad... we were just talking about...''
''Girl stuff.'' Harry interrupted with a quick lie. ''Yeah... just talking about how confusing they are.''
Sirius shot Harry a sly grin, ''Ah! A ladies man! Just like you dad! You know back in our Fourth year there was this bloody beautiful girl, BIG jugs, ...''
Sirius was about to continue when Remus tossed his shoe at the shaggy Marauder, ''He's only twelve you pervert!''
His mother tried to take him shopping with her, and he did manage to hint at –okay, actually he practically pointed at- what he wanted for Christmas. You'd think that after twelve years she'd know that he wanted books. He certainly wouldn't have minded a gift certificate to the book store.
They had gone to get Dad and Jerry's present. Well, since neither he nor Jerry got allowances, Harry just kind of stood off to the side and made comments on his mother's choices. So, but the end of the day, he was nearly bored to tears.
'But she means well...' a part of himself scolded.
The only two highlights of their time together was at the bookshop and the small café they went to, to take a break in and to warm up from walking around in the snow. The café was called the 'Dancing Bean' and there was picture of a hyperactive coffee bean doing the 'Jitterbug' next to the sign.
Harry had gotten himself hot chocolate since he never really acquired a taste for coffee, unlike his mother who could down cups of if before actually feeling some of it come into affect. She easily drank the scalding bitter liquid without even blowing on it and Harry watch in an almost horrified fascination. He wondered why she drank her coffee like that.
Lily gave a satisfied hum after her initial gulp, ''That was fun wasn't it?''
Harry nodded stiffly, trying to plaster a smile on his face. Of course, he was really bad at pretending to be happy...
Lily noticed and sounded a bit depressed, ''At least tell you enjoyed some part of it...''
''I liked the bookstore...'' Harry replied uneasily.
Lily took another sip and nodded neutrally, ''Oh... oh yes, you're always reading.''
Harry resisted the urge to reply sarcastically. So instead he gave a noncommittal shrug and muttered, ''Yeah, sort of...''
''I'm surprised you didn't get sorted into Ravenclaw.'' His mother mused.
Harry mentally winced and hoped this conversation wouldn't go the wrong way. ''Well, it's not like I could tell the Sorting Hat...''
''I guess... I just...well, it was unexpected. You certainly don't seem... you know.'' Lily tried to say, but even she knew that her half-ended statement sounded bad. Lily cringed.
''They aren't... like that.'' Harry lied, ''They're just...''
He stopped for a moment, trying to think of the right word, 'Cunning, sneaky, dangerous, malicious, sadists...'
''Different.'' Harry finally said, hoping she'd buy it.
Luckily she did –just barely- and then sort of drifted off to the next subject. ''Are you positive you want to go back to Hogwarts, the whole incident is making me uneasy. I really would rather you...''
''I didn't do so well, I mean I haven't been doing so well and I was hoping that I'd find a way to raise my grades. I've been studying really hard and I don't really want it all to go to waste.'' Harry quickly responded.
''Oh...is everything alright?''
''Yeah,'' Harry quickly tried to think of another lie. This was getting harder and harder. ''Just stuff I didn't really understand at first, but now I'm finally getting it, so I think I have a chance of raising my grade.''
''Oh... alright.'' Lily replied, a bit lost, but then she never got involved with Harry's schoolwork, so she wasn't really sure how to handle the situation.
The both of them fell into silence and it remained that way for the rest of the trip.
''Surprise!'' Two loud voiced called from the doorway as Harry opened the door.
Harry's face brightened, ''Uncle Sirius! Uncle Remus!''
Harry gave his two uncles a hug and then helped them with their coats. At this time, James had walked to the doorway and enthusiastically greeted the two Marauders.
Next, Jerry and Lily also rushed over and exchanged greetings with the two men. But afterwards, Sirius tackled Jerry and the two of them began to horseplay around the living room.
Remus, who was the more reserved Marauder, gave a genial smile at his friend's antics and went over to the dining room to take a seat with Harry, Lily and James.
''I didn't even know you were coming!'' James started in a surprised and pleased tone, he really didn't mind sudden unplanned visits, especially from this friends.
Remus shrugged, ''It was Padfoot's idea. You know how he is when he gets a scheme in his head.''
James laughed, ''Ah, the times we had all based off of Padfoot's wild whims. Remember that time with Snivelly...''
Harry quietly excused himself from the table. He hated when his dad talked torturing some poor kid named Snivelly –although he suspected that wasn't his name- back when he went to Hogwarts.
The problem was that his dad's glory moments weren't that far off from Jerry's torture session. In fact, Harry suspected a lot of them were inspired by his dad's stories.
Harry headed in the direction of the downstairs bathroom, but took a detour and decided to sit in the dark, on the steps leading upstairs.
He allowed himself a little smile. He always liked it when Uncle Remus came over. Uncle Remus was a bit more like him. Harry remembered the time they took a trip to the park with Uncle Remus and Uncle Sirius. Lily, James, Jerry, and Uncle Sirius had played a sort of ground version of Quidditch, which looked more like a mixture of the Muggle games: dodgeball and basketball.
Uncle Remus had been kind and decided to stay with him on the picnic blanket. At first Uncle Remus was a bit nervous since Lily and James had told him not to bother Harry too much because of his 'problems'. Harry had been laying down at first, sleeping quietly on his stomach. But as the afternoon sun rose into the middle of the sky, the brightness woke him up.
Uncle Remus had stared cautiously at Harry, hoping that he didn't do anything rash. But Harry just got up into a sitting position and looked up at Remus. Harry gave him a small childlike smile and pointed at him, ''You have special eyes.''
Surprised by the strange comment, Remus jumped a bit and stared. Then he remembered the comment, ''O-oh, why do you say that?''
''They're yellow. I don't see many people with yellow eyes.'' Harry replied shyly.
Remus blinked, ''Um... right...''
Upon hearing Remus' answer, Harry thought that he had said something wrong, so he shrank down, looking embarrassed and a little sad. Harry stared at the checkerboard blanket. He should have listened to Jerry and not bothered Uncle Remus, of course Jerry was right about Uncle Remus thinking he was a stupid little boy.
Harry quietly moved away from Remus and scooted over to the basket, which was in the shade, and looked through it. After a few minutes, he found a green apple and gave a squeak of happiness as he took the apple and ran to the water fountain to wash it.
When he came back, he caught Remus staring at the apple he was holding. Harry made a sort of disappointed face as he remembered his mother's words of being courteous to Uncle Sirius and Uncle Remus during their visit. Harry walked over and held the apple out, ''Do you want it?''
''Uh...Didn't Lily only pack one apple?''
''It's okay, you can have it if you really want it.'' Harry said quietly.
''But you had it first.''
Harry shrugged, ''Mommy says I have to be polite.''
''No no, it's okay, you can have your apple.''
Harry frowned even more. Uncle Remus wanted the apple, so why wouldn't he take it? He was supposed to take it, that way Harry wouldn't get in trouble. What if Uncle Remus later told Mommy that he was rude and took the only apple.
Harry quickly put the apple down on the blanket next to Remus, ''There.''
Remus frantically shook his head, ''No no! I don't...''
Remus sighed and picked up the apple to hand back to Harry, ''Take it.''
Harry took a step back and shook his head while keeping his arms behind his back to show that he wouldn't accept it.
Remus made a quiet frustrated sound and stood up to hand it Harry but Harry only took more steps back. Remus suddenly took a large step forward at Harry. Harry's eyes grew wide and he squeak right before he took off in a frantic run.
''Wait!'' Remus shouted after the little boy who ran too fast and followed after him.
Harry quickly ducked behind the tree and yelled back, ''No! It's yours!''
''But you wanted it!''
''You can't trick me into getting in trouble!'' Harry shouted back before darting off towards the next tree.
Remus broke in to a run after the little boy while muttering, ''This is why I don't have kids.''
''I'm not trying to get you in trouble Harry! The apple is yours!'' Remus called out as he continued to run, panting in between words.
''You're lying! Just like Jerry!''
''I'm not lying!''
Remus chased after Harry for about ten more minutes.
Then a voice called from the top of the hill, where Remus had left the picnic stuff, ''Hey Remus! What are you doing?''
Remus sighed and treaded up the hill.
When he finally got up there, he saw that the rest of the family had gotten back from their game. Jerry was currently digging through the basket for snacks.
Remus held up the apple, ''Harry got out an apple and he was going to eat it. But I happened to be watching him and he thought I wanted the apple too. So he gave it to me. And told him that I didn't want the apple and that it was his.''
Remus then let his hand drop down as Lily asked, ''So, where's Harry now?''
''Hiding behind the fifth tree to the left, he won't let me give it back to hi- '' Remus suddenly stopped and looked down at his now empty hand.
He looked up a bit and saw Jerry munching on the apple. Jerry grinned at him remorselessly and held up the partially eaten apple, '''sgood.''
Lily lightly scolded Jerry, but Jerry only whined, ''But I'm hungry mum.'' And she stopped.
Remus looked down at his empty hand and then back at Jerry, who was almost done eating the apple that he and Harry had fought over for nearly fifteen minutes.
Later when the four went back down the fountain to feed the ducks, Harry reappeared.
Remus was sitting on the blanket and looked up at the scrawny boy. He spoke, with a hint of bewilderment and annoyance, ''Jerry ate the apple.''
''I know.'' Harry whispered.
Remus looked up at Harry, ''Why didn't you just eat it?''
''You...''
''I was just watching you to make sure you were safe. I wasn't after your apple. And now Jerry has eaten it...'' Remus finished with a slight bit of scorn in his voice.
Harry, having thought the tone was directed at him, gave a wavery whisper, ''I'm sorry.''
Remus looked surprise, ''What? No! I... I wasn't mad at you. Your... your brother could sure learn some manners...''
Harry shrugged.
A moment passed and the two were silent.
Then finally Remus asked, ''Does Jerry always eat all the apples?''
''Just the ones I want to eat.'' Harry replied quietly.
''I see...''
''Hey'' Remus whispered in front of Harry, startling Harry from his distraction.
Harry looked up and grinned. Then he looked back towards the direction of the kitchen, ''I thought you were...''
''Nah. Sirius joined in the conversation...'' Remus made a face. ''I'm not so good at retelling the stories...''
''I feel sorry for him.'' Harry murmured.
''Who?''
''Snivelly?'' Harry said, making a face at the name.
''Ah, yeah...'' Remus paused, a flash of regret going across his face. ''I... they were –are- my friends. I just... I guess I just went along with it.''
''What's his name?'' Harry asked.
Remus stopped a second to think. If Snape was Harry's teacher... would telling Harry that they had tortured his head of house be such a good idea? But then Harry wasn't like most children.
''You know him...'' Remus said slowly.
Harry raised a brow and then thought about it, 'Who's dad's age and would be nicknames Snivelly...let's see, Snivelly... like... snivel? No, I don't know anyone that snivels... Sn... Oh.'
Harry looked up at Remus, ''Snape.''
''Wow. That was fast.'' Remus murmured.
''What did you guys do to him?''
Remus let out another deep sigh and sat down next to Harry, ''We... we publicly humiliated him. Did things like hang him upside down and strip his pants. And we'd pull numerous horrible pranks on him... And then, there was that prank that went too far...''
''Shrieking Shack?''
''Your dad told you?''
''I was eavesdropping on Dad and Sirius once. It was after Jerry's birthday party.'' Harry replied in a dull voice. He hated that story the most. The week after hearing that story, he would wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares of Jerry luring him into a hole under the tree and there, a wolf how enormous yellow teeth would rip him to shreds. He had woken up screaming a few times, but Mum had thought it was because he was disturbed and thus he experiences a huge influx of Medi-witches and Medi-wizards for the next month. After that, he would somehow subconsciously force himself to scream into his pillow and thus muffle out the sound.
He knew it was dangerous, to keep that up, many times he realized that he had completely stopped breathing. His lungs collapsed in fear and a slow ache in his stomach and head from oxygen deprivation.
The dreams had finally faded away around four months later, but every time he even heard his dad hint at that incident, he would feel sick.
Harry looked up, expecting Remus to have that same smug expression that Dad and Sirius when talking about it. But instead Remus looked pale and probably worse than how sick Harry felt at the moment.
Remus climbed up a few steps and found himself sitting a step lower than Harry. The soft timbre in his voice was laced with shame, ''Did they say who the werewolf was?''
Harry nodded and then murmured, ''I know it wasn't you. I mean, I know you... are what you are. But during that time, you weren't in control.''
''I almost killed him Harry.'' Remus whispered. ''Why aren't you scared of me?''
''Donno. If Uncle Sirius never told Snape about that hole... he wouldn't have went in and you wouldn't have almost eaten him...''
''I still feel horrible about it.'' Remus whispered. ''In the end Slytherin had lost points and we didn't... not even a minor dent. No detention... nothing for that horrible thing we did. Merlin, I don't know what I would have done if I was in his place. He wasn't even allowed tell his family, Dumbledore placed him under a special charm. Kept him from telling what happened. He would try to, but right before the words would come out , he could completely blank out.''
''Must have drove him insane.''
Remus nodded. ''Yeah... He wasn't so horrible at first. Bookish, he really should have been in Ravenclaw. Didn't get along with the Slytherins at all. James always tells these horrible stories about him because they just didn't get along. Minor spats, random hexings... we actually did worse to him because it was him against the four of us...''
Remus leaned to the right and rested his head against the railing of the stairs. ''He knew just how to irk James too; he'd say horrible things about your mum. I don't think he meant them, but he knew it would rile James up really badly. Anyways, after the Shrieking Shack incident, he... he started to really cozy with the Slytherins. And then got Lucius and his goons involved. It got really bad, the pranking and the hexing. Our houses nearly tore each other apart and in the end the Headmaster had to threaten us with expulsion in order to quiet us down.''
''He was bitter, betrayed'' Harry murmured to himself.
''Yes.''
''Is that why he became a ...'' Harry trailed off. Bugger! He wasn't supposed to...
Remus' eyes narrowed as he looked up, ''How'd you know?''
''You know?!'' Harry asked, astonished. ''If you know he's a ... you know. Why don't any of you put him in Azkaban?''
Remus shook his head, ''Wait... Uh, you're confusing me. What is 'you know.'?''
Harry whispered sharply, ''Death Eater.''
''Oh! How'd you...?''
''I accidentally turned in the wrong direction once and I heard him talking to someone, another ... you know.''
Remus debated the situation. Since Harry knew that he knew that Snape was a Death Eater, then it wouldn't make sense for Remus to tell him to be quiet and not talk about it because obviously it meant that Harry would be put into direct danger. But if he told Harry the truth, it would risk exposing...
But Harry wasn't normal was he?
Remus held out a finger and said sternly, ''Now what I'm about to tell you is extremely confidential, no one can know. You could be putting a lot of lives at stake if this gets out. What you hear from me here never reaches another soul. Do you understand?''
Harry looked a bit scared, but his desire to know overruled his fears. He licked his lips and nodded.
''Snape is a Death Eater, but he works for us. You know the...''
''Order.'' Harry finished.
Remus's eyes flew up, ''Where did you? Merlin! Do you eavesdrop on everyone?''
''Dad doesn't do such a good just of... being discrete.''
''Anyone ever tell you you're too inquisitive for your own good?''
Harry shrugged, ''No, no one to tell what I know.''
Remus sighed and nodded, ''Right. Does Jerry?''
''No... Jerry doesn't. If it's not about Quidditch, he won't pay attention to it.''
''Ah.. well...''
''Go on... you said he works for the Order.''
''Yes... He's a spy for us. It's a very dangerous job.'' Remus said in hushed tones.
''Yeah.'' Harry breathed, but at the same time he was thinking about how much of a relief it was to find out that Snape wasn't trying to kill him. But what about that Quidditch incident...
''But there was that time. Hermione said that Snape was trying to hex my broom during a Quidditch match...''
''Oh. That was Quirrell. We got it out of him after...'' Remus suddenly stopped, ''Hey! I'm not supposed to be telling you this!''
''I won't tell!''
''This is confidential Order business.''
Harry nodded frantically, ''I know. I promised I won't tell and I won't. Cross my heart, hope to die.''
Remus cringed, ''Don't say things like that.''
Harry rolled his eyes and then he looked intently at Remus, ''So, about Quirrell.''
''No! I'm telling you anymore, my reputation is going to as bad as Hagrids if anyone finds out...''
''But I'm old enough...'' Harry started, but stopped as Remus shot him a look.
Harry wilted, ''Fine... I'm not old enough.''
''Harry it's not that- '' Remus started.
But he was suddenly interrupted by Sirius popping his head in front of the stairs, ''Hey you two, conspiring something? A prank maybe?''
Remus shot Sirius a derisive look, ''Grow up Pad... we were just talking about...''
''Girl stuff.'' Harry interrupted with a quick lie. ''Yeah... just talking about how confusing they are.''
Sirius shot Harry a sly grin, ''Ah! A ladies man! Just like you dad! You know back in our Fourth year there was this bloody beautiful girl, BIG jugs, ...''
Sirius was about to continue when Remus tossed his shoe at the shaggy Marauder, ''He's only twelve you pervert!''