Burning Both Ends
Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters
August 15, 1997 5PM
Buffy had been working out in the school's gymnasium for about an hour. Not much in the way of challenge as it didn't hit back, but the punching bag afforded her an opportunity to mindlessly bury herself in physical activity. She remembered how she didn't want to leave Sunnydale at the start of summer break, and smiled to herself when she considered how much she wished she could stay a little longer. She was truly sorry to have to fly out the next day. She had made friends easily among the students, and would miss Marie, Bobby and John most of all. With them, she allowed herself to pretend to be a normal teenage girl again. Well, as close to normal as she could feel while still patrolling vigilantly. Fortunately, there seemed to be a serious lack of demon activity in the metro Westchester area, so she felt comfortable doing a couple of sweeps just outside the campus, then meeting Marie in the kitchen for sweet iced tea and girl talk every night.
At first she didn't hear Logan come into the gym, but was pulled from her reverie at the sight of him passing shirtless in front of her mirror. He wore navy sweatpants and was barefoot, which was probably why she didn't hear him, she reasoned. Without a word he crossed the room to the free- weight area by the window, set his weights and began lifting.
Sunlight poured over his skin, playing over the curves and angles of his shoulders and upper arms. As he pulled the weight-leaden bar up to his chest and slowly released it, she marveled at the tightly corded muscles flowing out from his spine. Her eyes drifted down the subtle arc between his upper and lower back. She licked her top lip and wondered what he tasted like, and what might happen if she licked and nibbled back and forth across the flat plane between his hips just above his waistband.
Buffy punched the bag harder, faster, as she imagined the texture of his skin under her hands, against her breasts and stomach. Scorched by her imagination, she took her eyes off of him and alternated between rapid punches and kicks in various combinations.
"Hey kid, you Ok?" Logan asked, as her last kicked tore the bag from its chain and propelled it several feet away.
Buffy smiled, "Uh yeah, just got a little carried away."
"Mmm-hmm, sure did," he mocked, as she sat down on the mat and picked up her towel.
Wiping her sweaty face and neck, she asked, "Is that hard to learn?"
"What, weight lifting? Don't you train with weights?" he wondered aloud.
"No. Giles - well, all Watchers I guess, are very old school – like twelfth century old school. We spar. I run. That's about it."
"You wanna try?" he inquired casually.
"Sure," she shrugged, "couldn't hurt."
Logan set down his bar and motioned for her to come closer. "Ok, first of all. You have to really focus on what you're doing to get the full benefit of weight training."
Picking up the bar he was using earlier, he instructed her, "Stand up straight and use the mirror to help you maintain alignment. As you raise the bar, think about the muscles that are engaged and add resistance from the opposite side, like this," he said, demonstrating the motion. "I'm pulling down with the top of my arm as the underside pulls the weight up. And don't forget to exhale when you lift the bar, inhale when you lower it... got it?"
Buffy swallowed nervously, "Yeah, I think so."
Logan took her hand and maneuvered her in front of him. "Pick up the weight and give it a try." As Buffy began lifting, he moved closer behind her until his chest was skimming her back.
That's it, nice and easy," he coached, "You should focus here." Softly, he ran his palms over the front of her upper arms. She shivered slightly at his touch, and again moments later as his breath brushed against the back of her neck. "You're doing great," he offered enthusiastically, and Buffy turned her face to return his smile. As she did, her hair and ear slid across his cheek, her lips mere inches from his. Buffy held her breath as his lips slowly closed the magnetic gap between them.
"Buffy girl, are ya in here?" Just before Marie came barreling through the door, Logan jerked backward. Buffy dropped the weight like it had bitten her.
"Hey Logan!" Marie called, "Y'all workin' out togehtha?"
"We.. uh... we just finished," Buffy stammered.
"Well, come on then. John's gotta a surprise for ya. Time to get ready!"
"Uh... yeah.... Ok," Buffy agreed as she picked up her towel and followed Marie out the door, careful not to look back.
After they had gone, Logan walked over to the window and braced his hands against the sides. Taking a deep breath he stared out into the garden, eyes unfocused. He stood there for a few minutes and then dragged himself off to the gym showers.
Down the hall, Marie remarked, "Mmm-mmm-mmm, has that boy got tha bod or whuht?"
"Huh?" Buffy asked as they entered her room.
"Ah-oh Buffy's got the disease."
"Again I say, huh?" Buffy asked, turning on the shower.
"Professor Logan-itis. You got it bad. Ah've seen all the sighns. Ev'ry girl on this floor's had it at one time or annother. Ah wondah if he'd wawlk to and from the gym half-drehssed if he knew how many girls wahntah'd to take a bite outta him. Ah had the disease for positively ever. Ah even usedta have this reoccurin' dream about him slicing through my clothes with his claws." Buffy had heard about his claws from Marie and the boys, but she had never seen them, nor had she thought about them in that way before. Shock stole across Buffy's face for a few seconds, then she and Marie broke out in a fit of giggles.
Marie continued, "Don't worray honey, this disease is tempohrary. Bobby's helped meh make a full-recovahry."
Buffy sighed dramatically, "Ok... so he's chocolate-dip-able."
Marie opened Buffy's closet, then grinned conspiratorially over her shoulder, "With a big 'ol cherreh on top!"
While Marie selected several outfit options, Buffy finished her shower, hair, and makeup. Finally, she settled on a pale yellow t-shirt, jean shorts and leather thong sandals. After much primping, the girls walked downstairs and out the front door at thirty minutes to sunset. Standing at the garden gate, Bobby and John waited impatiently.
"You ladies look lovely," Bobby remarked as he kissed Marie's gloved hand. Offering Buffy his arm and a kiss on the cheek, John led her out into the open stretch of grass and down to the lakefront. Marie and Bobby trailed behind.
Buffy never saw the curtains on Logan's bedroom window flutter and still as she passed out of sight.
At the lake, Buffy laughed when she saw the two sets of lounge chairs that had obviously been liberated from the pool deck. Between the two sitting areas, a blanket, CD player, and picnic supper had been laid out with a cooler full of sodas. Tiki torches had been lit every twenty feet around the edge of the lake. The torch flames and the setting sun reflected muted yellows, oranges, pinks and reds on the surface of the water.
John nudged Buffy's arm, "So, what do you think? Are you impressed?"
Buffy responded quickly, "Very... very-very even."
John slid his hand down her arm, grasped her hand, and brushed his lips across it. "Are you hungry yet, Buffy?"
A few hours later, Buffy realized that she was having a wonderful time. She was sitting on the picnic blanket with John's head in her lap, toying with his hair. Marie and Bobby were laying in one set of the lounge chairs, holding hands and looking at the stars. The four of them had danced to Buffy's Bronze mix, played a modified version of touch football, eaten outrageously fattening picnic food, and watched as John orchestrated a complex and breathtakingly beautiful fireworks display using the fire burning in the torches.
Buffy leaned over and kissed John's forehead gently. "I don't want this to end," she sighed.
"Stay with us. Everyone likes you. I'm sure Professor Xavier would let you. You'd finally be safe..." John whispered as he pulled himself into a seated position.
"I wish I could, but it's impossible..."
"You could stay if you really wanted to. Obviously, you don't," John shouted, stood up, and stalked off toward the woods.
"Man, what's the matter with you?" Bobby called. But John had already disappeared into the trees.
Buffy turned to meet Bobby's eyes. "Should I follow him?" she suggested.
Bobby settled back down and Buffy walked over to sit at the foot of Marie's lounge chair. "Nah, he flares up, then he's over it. Let him cool off. If he's not back in fifteen minutes, we'll go get him."
Suddenly, they heard John yelling. Buffy had just reached the tree line when he burst forth, nearly knocking her down. He ran past, then swung around next to her. Several vampires raced to catch up, and Buffy slipped gracefully into a fighting stance.
"No heroics! Get back inside the school," Buffy yelled. "Vampires can't enter a home unless they're invited." But Marie, Bobby, and John seemed to be frozen in place.
"I've got your backs!" Buffy shouted and stepped in front of her friends, letting them see her pull a stake from beneath the back of her shorts. "Now go. Go!"
As they ran, John, Bobby, and Marie heard a deep voice filled with vicious delight say, "Slayer..."
Buffy launched herself at the first vampire and the others took attack positions all around her. As a result of her training and experience, something clicked inside her head, and she slid into the fight like easing into a hot bath. Time slowed to a crawl and every move was efficient and effortless. But something tickled at the back of her mind. Something was different. After she had dusted the first three, she felt rage begin to stir in the pit of her stomach. It rose like acid up her throat. Someone was talking near the gate but she couldn't stop to listen. Hoping fervently that her friends were safe inside, she pressed on, determined to protect their escape at all costs.
Then the rage exploded through her head and oozed all over her body.
"Wow... she's...she's so..." Scott began, as the crowd of students and staff pushed him forward a little. He glanced back toward the house. It seemed the entire school was out on the lawn, watching Buffy fight. When the hell had that happened? He wiped his hand over his face. He must have really been absorbed in watching Buffy.
"Magnificent," Logan whispered to himself.
"She's completely fucking amazing!" John shouted enthusiastically, and then realized Professor Xavier was beside him, "Oh... sorry, Professor."
"It's alright, John. In this situation, I think you are correct... She is quite spectacular." Then the Professors' face fell, "But something is... wrong..."
Buffy started to shout.
She hollered and screamed in sync with her fighting. Every punch, kick, swipe, and thrust of her stake forced another word from her. Those around her could do nothing but stare in wretched, humbled shock and sadness. They could do nothing, so they waited for the storm to pass.
"Why. Can't. You. Just. Leave. Me. Alone. I. Am. Sick. To. Death. Of. This. Sick. To. Death. Of. Bleeding. Sick. To. Death. Of. Falling. And. Getting. Back. Up. Again. I. Just. Wanted. To. Rest. You. Filthy. Evil. Bastard. Every. Time. I. Have. A. Little. Something. Good. You. Come. Along. And. Shred. It. I. Hate. You. I. Hate. You. I. Hate. You. I. Hate. Hate. You. I. Hate... I... I..."
Buffy stumbled. She was momentarily unbalanced by the empty space in front of her. There was nothing left to beat, nothing left to kill. Tears began to gather at the back of her throat, cutting off her air. But she wasn't ready to cry just yet. She felt, rather than heard someone approaching her from behind. Whirling around, she stopped within an inch of staking her cousin. Realizing what she had almost done, Buffy dropped the stake in horror.
He tried to pull her into an embrace, but she grabbed him with trembling hands and held him apart from her. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, took a deep, shaky breath, and said, "No... just... just don't..."
Then she pushed past him, and her vision shifted. She noticed for the first time that she had an audience. Shame cut through her like a knife, but she could not cry, so she did what came naturally.
She ran away as fast as she could.
Before she reached the front door, she heard someone ask, "How many vampires were there?" but she didn't wait to hear John's reply.
"Fifteen, " he said. "There were fifteen when she started."
(end chapter)
Please, please review.
Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters
August 15, 1997 5PM
Buffy had been working out in the school's gymnasium for about an hour. Not much in the way of challenge as it didn't hit back, but the punching bag afforded her an opportunity to mindlessly bury herself in physical activity. She remembered how she didn't want to leave Sunnydale at the start of summer break, and smiled to herself when she considered how much she wished she could stay a little longer. She was truly sorry to have to fly out the next day. She had made friends easily among the students, and would miss Marie, Bobby and John most of all. With them, she allowed herself to pretend to be a normal teenage girl again. Well, as close to normal as she could feel while still patrolling vigilantly. Fortunately, there seemed to be a serious lack of demon activity in the metro Westchester area, so she felt comfortable doing a couple of sweeps just outside the campus, then meeting Marie in the kitchen for sweet iced tea and girl talk every night.
At first she didn't hear Logan come into the gym, but was pulled from her reverie at the sight of him passing shirtless in front of her mirror. He wore navy sweatpants and was barefoot, which was probably why she didn't hear him, she reasoned. Without a word he crossed the room to the free- weight area by the window, set his weights and began lifting.
Sunlight poured over his skin, playing over the curves and angles of his shoulders and upper arms. As he pulled the weight-leaden bar up to his chest and slowly released it, she marveled at the tightly corded muscles flowing out from his spine. Her eyes drifted down the subtle arc between his upper and lower back. She licked her top lip and wondered what he tasted like, and what might happen if she licked and nibbled back and forth across the flat plane between his hips just above his waistband.
Buffy punched the bag harder, faster, as she imagined the texture of his skin under her hands, against her breasts and stomach. Scorched by her imagination, she took her eyes off of him and alternated between rapid punches and kicks in various combinations.
"Hey kid, you Ok?" Logan asked, as her last kicked tore the bag from its chain and propelled it several feet away.
Buffy smiled, "Uh yeah, just got a little carried away."
"Mmm-hmm, sure did," he mocked, as she sat down on the mat and picked up her towel.
Wiping her sweaty face and neck, she asked, "Is that hard to learn?"
"What, weight lifting? Don't you train with weights?" he wondered aloud.
"No. Giles - well, all Watchers I guess, are very old school – like twelfth century old school. We spar. I run. That's about it."
"You wanna try?" he inquired casually.
"Sure," she shrugged, "couldn't hurt."
Logan set down his bar and motioned for her to come closer. "Ok, first of all. You have to really focus on what you're doing to get the full benefit of weight training."
Picking up the bar he was using earlier, he instructed her, "Stand up straight and use the mirror to help you maintain alignment. As you raise the bar, think about the muscles that are engaged and add resistance from the opposite side, like this," he said, demonstrating the motion. "I'm pulling down with the top of my arm as the underside pulls the weight up. And don't forget to exhale when you lift the bar, inhale when you lower it... got it?"
Buffy swallowed nervously, "Yeah, I think so."
Logan took her hand and maneuvered her in front of him. "Pick up the weight and give it a try." As Buffy began lifting, he moved closer behind her until his chest was skimming her back.
That's it, nice and easy," he coached, "You should focus here." Softly, he ran his palms over the front of her upper arms. She shivered slightly at his touch, and again moments later as his breath brushed against the back of her neck. "You're doing great," he offered enthusiastically, and Buffy turned her face to return his smile. As she did, her hair and ear slid across his cheek, her lips mere inches from his. Buffy held her breath as his lips slowly closed the magnetic gap between them.
"Buffy girl, are ya in here?" Just before Marie came barreling through the door, Logan jerked backward. Buffy dropped the weight like it had bitten her.
"Hey Logan!" Marie called, "Y'all workin' out togehtha?"
"We.. uh... we just finished," Buffy stammered.
"Well, come on then. John's gotta a surprise for ya. Time to get ready!"
"Uh... yeah.... Ok," Buffy agreed as she picked up her towel and followed Marie out the door, careful not to look back.
After they had gone, Logan walked over to the window and braced his hands against the sides. Taking a deep breath he stared out into the garden, eyes unfocused. He stood there for a few minutes and then dragged himself off to the gym showers.
Down the hall, Marie remarked, "Mmm-mmm-mmm, has that boy got tha bod or whuht?"
"Huh?" Buffy asked as they entered her room.
"Ah-oh Buffy's got the disease."
"Again I say, huh?" Buffy asked, turning on the shower.
"Professor Logan-itis. You got it bad. Ah've seen all the sighns. Ev'ry girl on this floor's had it at one time or annother. Ah wondah if he'd wawlk to and from the gym half-drehssed if he knew how many girls wahntah'd to take a bite outta him. Ah had the disease for positively ever. Ah even usedta have this reoccurin' dream about him slicing through my clothes with his claws." Buffy had heard about his claws from Marie and the boys, but she had never seen them, nor had she thought about them in that way before. Shock stole across Buffy's face for a few seconds, then she and Marie broke out in a fit of giggles.
Marie continued, "Don't worray honey, this disease is tempohrary. Bobby's helped meh make a full-recovahry."
Buffy sighed dramatically, "Ok... so he's chocolate-dip-able."
Marie opened Buffy's closet, then grinned conspiratorially over her shoulder, "With a big 'ol cherreh on top!"
While Marie selected several outfit options, Buffy finished her shower, hair, and makeup. Finally, she settled on a pale yellow t-shirt, jean shorts and leather thong sandals. After much primping, the girls walked downstairs and out the front door at thirty minutes to sunset. Standing at the garden gate, Bobby and John waited impatiently.
"You ladies look lovely," Bobby remarked as he kissed Marie's gloved hand. Offering Buffy his arm and a kiss on the cheek, John led her out into the open stretch of grass and down to the lakefront. Marie and Bobby trailed behind.
Buffy never saw the curtains on Logan's bedroom window flutter and still as she passed out of sight.
At the lake, Buffy laughed when she saw the two sets of lounge chairs that had obviously been liberated from the pool deck. Between the two sitting areas, a blanket, CD player, and picnic supper had been laid out with a cooler full of sodas. Tiki torches had been lit every twenty feet around the edge of the lake. The torch flames and the setting sun reflected muted yellows, oranges, pinks and reds on the surface of the water.
John nudged Buffy's arm, "So, what do you think? Are you impressed?"
Buffy responded quickly, "Very... very-very even."
John slid his hand down her arm, grasped her hand, and brushed his lips across it. "Are you hungry yet, Buffy?"
A few hours later, Buffy realized that she was having a wonderful time. She was sitting on the picnic blanket with John's head in her lap, toying with his hair. Marie and Bobby were laying in one set of the lounge chairs, holding hands and looking at the stars. The four of them had danced to Buffy's Bronze mix, played a modified version of touch football, eaten outrageously fattening picnic food, and watched as John orchestrated a complex and breathtakingly beautiful fireworks display using the fire burning in the torches.
Buffy leaned over and kissed John's forehead gently. "I don't want this to end," she sighed.
"Stay with us. Everyone likes you. I'm sure Professor Xavier would let you. You'd finally be safe..." John whispered as he pulled himself into a seated position.
"I wish I could, but it's impossible..."
"You could stay if you really wanted to. Obviously, you don't," John shouted, stood up, and stalked off toward the woods.
"Man, what's the matter with you?" Bobby called. But John had already disappeared into the trees.
Buffy turned to meet Bobby's eyes. "Should I follow him?" she suggested.
Bobby settled back down and Buffy walked over to sit at the foot of Marie's lounge chair. "Nah, he flares up, then he's over it. Let him cool off. If he's not back in fifteen minutes, we'll go get him."
Suddenly, they heard John yelling. Buffy had just reached the tree line when he burst forth, nearly knocking her down. He ran past, then swung around next to her. Several vampires raced to catch up, and Buffy slipped gracefully into a fighting stance.
"No heroics! Get back inside the school," Buffy yelled. "Vampires can't enter a home unless they're invited." But Marie, Bobby, and John seemed to be frozen in place.
"I've got your backs!" Buffy shouted and stepped in front of her friends, letting them see her pull a stake from beneath the back of her shorts. "Now go. Go!"
As they ran, John, Bobby, and Marie heard a deep voice filled with vicious delight say, "Slayer..."
Buffy launched herself at the first vampire and the others took attack positions all around her. As a result of her training and experience, something clicked inside her head, and she slid into the fight like easing into a hot bath. Time slowed to a crawl and every move was efficient and effortless. But something tickled at the back of her mind. Something was different. After she had dusted the first three, she felt rage begin to stir in the pit of her stomach. It rose like acid up her throat. Someone was talking near the gate but she couldn't stop to listen. Hoping fervently that her friends were safe inside, she pressed on, determined to protect their escape at all costs.
Then the rage exploded through her head and oozed all over her body.
"Wow... she's...she's so..." Scott began, as the crowd of students and staff pushed him forward a little. He glanced back toward the house. It seemed the entire school was out on the lawn, watching Buffy fight. When the hell had that happened? He wiped his hand over his face. He must have really been absorbed in watching Buffy.
"Magnificent," Logan whispered to himself.
"She's completely fucking amazing!" John shouted enthusiastically, and then realized Professor Xavier was beside him, "Oh... sorry, Professor."
"It's alright, John. In this situation, I think you are correct... She is quite spectacular." Then the Professors' face fell, "But something is... wrong..."
Buffy started to shout.
She hollered and screamed in sync with her fighting. Every punch, kick, swipe, and thrust of her stake forced another word from her. Those around her could do nothing but stare in wretched, humbled shock and sadness. They could do nothing, so they waited for the storm to pass.
"Why. Can't. You. Just. Leave. Me. Alone. I. Am. Sick. To. Death. Of. This. Sick. To. Death. Of. Bleeding. Sick. To. Death. Of. Falling. And. Getting. Back. Up. Again. I. Just. Wanted. To. Rest. You. Filthy. Evil. Bastard. Every. Time. I. Have. A. Little. Something. Good. You. Come. Along. And. Shred. It. I. Hate. You. I. Hate. You. I. Hate. You. I. Hate. Hate. You. I. Hate... I... I..."
Buffy stumbled. She was momentarily unbalanced by the empty space in front of her. There was nothing left to beat, nothing left to kill. Tears began to gather at the back of her throat, cutting off her air. But she wasn't ready to cry just yet. She felt, rather than heard someone approaching her from behind. Whirling around, she stopped within an inch of staking her cousin. Realizing what she had almost done, Buffy dropped the stake in horror.
He tried to pull her into an embrace, but she grabbed him with trembling hands and held him apart from her. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, took a deep, shaky breath, and said, "No... just... just don't..."
Then she pushed past him, and her vision shifted. She noticed for the first time that she had an audience. Shame cut through her like a knife, but she could not cry, so she did what came naturally.
She ran away as fast as she could.
Before she reached the front door, she heard someone ask, "How many vampires were there?" but she didn't wait to hear John's reply.
"Fifteen, " he said. "There were fifteen when she started."
(end chapter)
Please, please review.