Fallen
by Yih
Disclaimer: This is slash. If that squeaks you, avoid it and don't read it! It will contain possibly all the following pairings: HP/LV, HP/LM, HP/SS, LV/LM, LV/SS, LM/SS.
Beta: Blackumbridge
I have fallen
There is no escape
This is my destiny
My fate is yours
Do what you will
I am yours
I have fallen
Fallen hard for you
Save me
I need you
I want you
For I love you
6: Moments (December 23, 2003 to December 30, 2003)
He watched with his black eyes as Harry stirred the potion with meticulous care. Harry was not brilliant at potions. He should have been no better than a very average student, but he was better than average because he applied himself. Once Harry had gotten the basics down, he'd proven himself to be a very capable student at Potions. Severus expected Harry to be one of his better students at Potions, but he wasn't going to be the best. That honor rested with his best friend, the muggleborn--- Hermione Granger.
But still, Harry wasn't bad. Indeed there were times when he was quite good. Still his best subject was in Charms. No one could touch him in the class. He'd heard from Flitwick constantly how advanced and powerful Harry was, and Flitwick wasn't the type to be overly boastful. His judgment was to be taken at face value. Then again, he had expected nothing less from a boy wizard that his Lord had already marked as his protégée.
He still winced when he thought about how long he'd been placed under Cruciatus for being unfriendly to Harry for the first week. At first he'd resented being forced to not be unpleasant, but he soon found it easier when the boy showed himself to be far more adept than even most of the older students. It still astonished him how much Harry knew about magical theory. Harry knew more about Charms than Severus could ever hope to learn. Not that he was interested, potions was much more fascinating in his humble opinion.
His Defense against the Dark Arts was also quite good, surprising since he was groomed to be good at the Dark Arts. His defense spells were high quality for one as young as he was. Severus was willing to wager that when Harry grew up, his defensive capabilities would surpass Voldemort's. However, there was no doubt that Voldemort was the best at offensive dark magic. With Harry at his side… he'd be invincible.
"Now add two slices of mandrake," Severus commanded when the twenty minutes of required stirring had been done. "After the slices have dissolved into the potion, you will need to stir vigorously for thirty more minutes and then the potion will need to cool down for the rest of the night."
Harry nodded and did exactly what Severus said. The young boy definitely wasn't brilliant at potions, Severus thought, but he was going to make a more than capable assistant over the summer. Harry was still unsatisfied with his potion-making skills and had asked Voldemort that he be allowed to study with Severus over the summer. It would suit him just fine. It would be nice to work with someone that had some ability for once.
Though that hadn't stopped him from being initially enraged when he'd been forced by Voldemort to tutor a boy less than brilliant! Voldemort had told him, had commanded him to teach Harry all that he knew until Harry was satisfied! And his Lord had threatened him after punishing him with Cruciatus for making Harry think that Severus didn't like him. He certainly hadn't liked the boy at first glance, but how had the boy known? At first glance the child had looked too much like someone he had an ill memory of. But getting to know Harry proved the contrary. Harry was bright; Harry was kind--- Harry was nothing like his nightmare.
"Stir more vigorously Harry," Severus reminded when he saw that Harry wasn't quite stirring heartily enough. "Yes that's it." Harry beamed at him and Severus couldn't stop himself from smiling slightly. It also amazed him how sweet Harry was after having been raised by Voldemort. Voldemort didn't seem the type to raise someone to be pure and so effortlessly good.
Then again, it might just be the affect that Harry had on people. Severus shuddered to think how Hermione Granger would have turned out without Harry to tone down her relentless behavior. He often overheard Harry reassuring the overachieving witch that a 99 was still a very good score and that it was okay to be less than perfect. Severus snorted, yes, thank Merlin Harry was there to calm down Hermoine's suicidal perfectionist tendencies.
Maybe that was the reason that his Lord had stopped the insane killings more than ten years ago. It made sense. Harry had come to Voldemort at around that age. And while Voldemort certainly hadn't gotten lenient and sappy, he had definitely been prone to be far less cruel. He didn't cast Cruciatus nearly as much on his unsuspecting Death Eaters. It made the working environment around the Dark Lord much more pleasant.
"I'm done," Harry declared. "Where should I put the potion?"
"Set it on the shelf," Severus responded. "Then you'd best be off, dinner will be soon."
"Good-bye Professor Snape."
"Good-bye Harry."
-
"Can you believe that it's almost over?" Hermione remarked reflectively, lying down on one of the various lounge chairs that were in the Common Room. A book rested on her lap face down to keep the page she was reading. "Our first year at Hogwarts, Harry! Think of that!"
Harry nodded, his back against Hermione's lounge chair. He leaned his head back when Hermione started threading her fingers through his unruly hair. "It's been quite a year for you, hasn't it been?"
"I could say the same for you," Hermione teased, loving the feel of Harry's silky hair as she ran her fingers through his dark mop. "You outscored me in almost everything, you perfectionist."
"Not in Transfiguration or Potions," he responded. "You did brilliantly in those classes."
"You didn't do too shabbily either. You were only a point off me in Potions!" she exclaimed. "And I still can't get over the expression that was on Malfoy's face when he saw that we both outscored him!" Hermione couldn't help but giggle and Harry had to join in with her laughter. It had been funny to see Draco's apoplectic face. He couldn't believe two Ravenclaws would do better in a class where the Professor favored his own House heavily.
"What are you reading?" Harry asked, tapping the spine of the book.
"Contemporary Guide to Charms," Hermione responded. "Can't let you get too far ahead of me, can I?"
"Hermione," Harry murmured, reaching up to squeeze her hand comfortingly, "you're a bloody brilliant witch. You learned far more in one year than I could have ever learned in that space of time. You can't compare us on a level basis right now. I've been studying magical theory since I could read. When we graduate, if I still know more than you then you can complain."
She swatted his hand away and picked up her book again. "You know I enjoy reading Harry."
"Entirely too much," he agreed with grin, picking up one of the many books that were piled in neat stacks in the Common Room. They rarely had to go to the Library for anything that wasn't in the Restricted Section as their Common Room was a much better library than the actual Library. There was a reason why Ravenclaws did so well, they not only had the thirst for knowledge but they also had the resources as well.
The newer books were always stacked next to the chairs and couches while the older books were stocked away on shelves. The shelves were so stuffed that unless one knew what book they were looking for, it was impossible to find it. They went through the shelves organizing it once or twice a year, but even that wasn't enough since their library only kept getting bigger and bigger.
"Nothing wrong with being an unabashed book lover."
"No, nothing wrong at all." He glanced down at the book that he'd picked out. The Complete Source Index for Potion Ingredients. He had picked it up before, but he'd never managed to get through the entire text since the author had a tedious way of writing. But he knew it would impress Severus if he knew his potions ingredients better and he did want to impress Severus.
-
He was finally going home. He couldn't suppress the excitement that was building up inside of him. While it was true that he'd gotten to go home during Christmas and Easter, it hadn't been for long enough. And it hadn't helped that Voldemort had been terribly busy to the point that Harry barely saw him both times. This time he was going home for 3 months! And this time he was going to spend some time with Voldemort. He had a lot of questions to ask his mentor and his best friend.
"Good-bye Harry!" Hermione cried out, kissing him on the cheek as she ran off to where her parents were waiting for her. He waved his farewell while she got swept up by her father and mother, who then excitedly starting asking her all sorts of questions about how she was and how was school. He sighed. He was really going to miss Hermione. Maybe he could owl her during the summer?
He felt someone stop right next to him. He didn't have to glance sideways to know it was Draco. There was only one person that dared to approach him in such a presumptuous manner like that. "I'm glad you finally got rid of that mud… muggleborn," Draco drawled. "I don't know what you see in her. She has bushy hair and awful teeth. And she's always talking about her books."
"I like books," Harry stated softly, his green eyes searching around. Where was Voldemort and Nagini? He had thought they would come to pick him up like the other parents and family that were at the Platform. But maybe he was wrong. "And Hermione's a very nice girl and a good friend."
"You could do better than her," Draco declared arrogantly. "It's such a tragedy that the stupid sorting hat placed you in Ravenclaw. You should have been in Slytherin."
Harry shrugged. He'd been over this conversation with Draco before. Didn't Draco get it that he didn't care about it? He had only been anxious about his sorting at first when he'd thought that Voldemort would be terribly disappointed if he didn't get sorted in Slytherin. Voldemort hadn't been precisely pleased, but he hadn't been disappointed. In the end, Nagini had confessed that Voldemort had had the strong suspicion that he'd be placed in Ravenclaw.
"And…" Draco was about to mumble on, but stopped when he saw his father striding up to them with his mother trailing behind. He was surprised to see Narcissa, she didn't normally come to pick him up. "Father," he said firmly, "Mother."
"Draco," Lucius greeted, but his silver eyes were focused on Harry, "you will be going home with Narcissa by portkey. I will be escorting Harry back to our Lord. I will try to come home later this evening, but you know how tied up I get when I'm at the Riddle Mansion."
Draco suppressed the urge to grin, instead nodding reservedly as befitted a Malfoy. "I understand, Father."
Lucius waited until Narcissa and his son had portkeyed off to the Malfoy Manor before turning his attention back to Harry. "Our Lord dearly apologizes for not being able to pick you up, but some idiocy at the Ministry has caused him to be delayed there. He will be back sometime this evening. I'm to stay with you until he returns."
"Is Nagini there?" Harry asked. Nagini should be there, but if she was… why did Lucius need to be there to watch him? Wasn't Nagini enough?
Lucius shook his head. "No, she went with her Master. They are both gone."
Harry nodded. "Thank you for escorting me back to my home."
"You're very welcome, Harry."
-
He expected to be horribly uncomfortable, but that wasn't the case at all. He found himself actually enjoying Lucius's company. While Draco wasn't bad company, Draco would often talk excessively to try to get rid of the prevailing silence that made him jittery. He found silence didn't bother him, but it did bother Draco. Lucius, however, was extremely knowledgeable though not as much as Voldemort about magical theory.
"If you wish," Lucius offered, "I would be more than willing to spend some time tutoring you in more advanced spells. It isn't often that I have the pleasure with working with such a gifted young wizard as yourself."
"Draco's a very strong wizard," Harry remarked, knowing quite well that most of Draco's anxiety stemmed for the fact that he was afraid that he wasn't going to live up to his father's expectations.
"Yes," Lucius agreed, "Draco certainly lives up to the Malfoy name. But you are my Lord's protégée and thus beyond what he will ever be capable and what I am capable of." Harry shivered when Lucius's hand cupped his chin and tilted his head up. "Do you know how special you are?"
Harry gulped and was relieved yet disappointed when Lucius pulled his hand away. The touch was something he'd always longed for, something affectionate and gentle. It was how he'd always yearned for Voldemort to touch him, but he rarely did and when he did it was never said with any praise of any kind. It was just a quick caress and that was it. He craved so much more than that.
Smiling inwardly, Lucius studied Harry with reflective calculation. He'd learned a lot about Harry through his son's constant owling. What he'd said about his son was certainly true, Draco was doing far better than he had ever done at Hogwarts, finishing behind Voldemort's protégée was no shame. Third in his class in most subjects, second in others but never first. But overall, Draco was doing very well in his studies. He applied himself more than Lucius ever had.
He knew that Harry was fantastic at Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. He was also very good, though he worked hard at Potions and Herbology. He was not quite as strong at Transfiguration as his mudblood friend or Draco. But still quite adequate. Lucius read the unspoken words that his son hadn't voiced blatantly. Draco was more than disgruntled that Harry was such good friends with a mudblood, even though he was still Harry's closest friend other than that mudblood witch.
"May I ask you a question Mr. Malfoy?" Harry asked softly.
Lucius inclined his head that yes he could. "Of course, but please call me Lucius."
"Lucius," Harry began cautiously, "would you teach me all that you know?"
Yes, he had been expecting this when he'd offered it just a few moments ago. He'd be delighted to instruct Harry on all matters magical. It would only further him in Voldemort's regard if he found favor with his favorite. His sexual prowess wasn't getting him any further entrenched in Voldemort's eyes, and he wanted nothing more than to make his Lord--- the Master of his heart--- feel what he felt.
Oh he knew very well that Voldemort thought that his feelings were trivial and untrue. But he knew that he'd never felt emotions this deep nor true in his lifetime, and he had lived quite a number of years. Not as considerable as his Lord, but enough to know his heart--- enough to know that he wanted Voldemort to feel the same way. If young Harry was the means, then so be it. He wasn't unwilling to stoop to such levels to gain what he desired.
"If you wish it, it will be done," Lucius responded smoothly.
"I wish it."
"Very well then. I will talk to my Lord about it."
-
The reunion had been emotional for Harry. He had felt his eyes water, though he had been fiercely proud of himself when he hadn't cried. Instead he fought back the tears as he kissed Nagini repeatedly on her head and kept stroking her lovely skin. {I've missed you so much, Nagini! I don't know how I lived without you!}
Nagini only chuckled in the way that snakes do and wrapped her tail around Harry firmly. {I have missed you very much as well. Tom has been quite fierce with you gone. You do know that you have the ability to calm his anger, don't you? You ought to come home for visits more often. You know it can be arranged.}
{I don't want to seem different from the others.}
Nagini flicked her tongue out with impatience at her young charge. {But don't you understand, Harry? You are different.}
{But I don't want to be different!}
She wrapped herself gently around Harry's neck. {Does that mean that you regret your life with me and Tom then? It is different than the way any of those others would have lived.}
{Of course not!}
{Then why do you care then if you are given the privilege to visit your home?} she countered. {Don't you miss me and Tom?}
{Dreadfully!}
{Then come home for visits,} Nagini hissed firmly. {It would be good for all of us.}
Harry wavered, he really didn't want to stand out more than he already did. But he really did miss his home. He often couldn't sleep at night because he missed the feel of Nagini's lithe body wrapped around his. {I will. Do you think Tom will mind?}
{No,} she responded confidently, {I think he will be quite pleased.}
{Who will be quite pleased?} Voldemort asked in greeting as he entered into the lair after he'd dismissed Lucius. It had taken longer than he'd thought to get Lucius apparating back to Malfoy Manor, but it had been well worth the extra time. He smiled with satisfaction. Lucius really did have such a skillful tongue. {I do hope that it's me.}
{It is indeed you,} Nagini replied with amusement.
{Do tell.}
{Harry?} Nagini prodded.
Voldemort turned to his protégée and noted how thin Harry had become. He didn't look sickly, but he didn't look healthy either. What was wrong with Harry? At Christmas, he'd been thinner than he had been before but not this thin. Had Hogwarts food suddenly become bad? He remembered it being very good, possibly as good as what his terrorized house elves served here.
{I want to come home more often instead of only during Christmas or Easter, and…..}
{And…?} Voldemort murmured encouragingly.
{And I want you to be there!} Harry burst, his eyes flashing heatedly. {You were gone most of Christmas and you weren't there at all during Easter! I missed you too, damn it!}
{Language!} Nagini exclaimed, squeezing Harry to emphasize her exclamation.
{You can of course come home during the weekends whenever you want,} Voldemort answered sternly, even though he wasn't feeling any sort of harsh feelings. Instead he was pleased he'd wrung an emotion like that from Harry. Harry was too much like him, not prone to emotional outbursts. Quite different from Lucius.
{Don't take that tone with me! I have things to do that are required of me. If I could escape then, I would, but I can't. Everyone has responsibilities in life. Yours is Hogwarts and your class work. Mine is my job. Do you understand?}
{I do.} Harry sighed and bent his head down. {It's just….. when I came home I wanted to spend time with you. I've missed you terribly. Nagini too, but I got to see her and spend lots of time with her--- but not with you.}
Voldemort reached up with his hand to lightly caress Harry's soft cheeks. {I will try to be here when you are home those weekends. Send an owl beforehand.}
Harry smiled beautifully. {Thank you.}
{Your welcome.}
-
Author's Note: Those that are concern with slash, I will warn you before anything explicit begins (i.e. when kisses become sexual rather than just forms of an affection). I will be skipping very fast over Hogwarts as I've done this before in MOP and if you want to see how I do the school, read that. Thus, you'll see me not generalizing as much as picking a scene and doing it vividly to get you a picture of what things are like. I.E. the Hermione/Harry scene was to show you about their friendship and I like the bit I inserted about the Ravenclaw common room. Never read a Ravenclaw fanfic, so I feel free to be original! Cheers! I don't suspect the slash to start around 4th year and start picking up after that. For those that have mentioned Ron, I have never done Ron in any detail in any of my fanfics as I can't relate to him thus I can't write him. But he will most likely make an appearance but his role will be small.
Also thank you SO MUCH for all the marvelous reviews. I would keep your eyes out for two new stories that will debuting soon, Tourniquet (HP/SS) and There Comes a Time (LM/HP/SS). If you want previews, look at my LiveJournal. As Unilife is resuming next week, Fallen #7 may be delayed or preempted next week. But the debuts should be more than enough to give you a healthy dose of my writing. Thanks for all your support, your reviews are inspiring.
Thanks to wintersong, futagoakuma-tenshi-01, kandra, ardicana, redrose2310, RavensHaelo, BlackDiva, Winnie2, Calyx-girl, Lolita (Thanks and the letter was written in parseltongue), Meaxennce, Panya, dracos-girl8706 (Not much of Gryffindors will be mentioned as Hogwarts will be Ravenclaw based), Coo (Severus is just a disagreeable git), Kateri1, Eaiva le Fay (nice feeling eh? a craving for more ^_^), PxW, Shuki – aka Quickjewel, IncubusSuccubus, pascal, kristin, HoshiHikari4ever, Shautha, chibineko, wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon, Aspid, xenelle, lillinfields (I don't write HP as straight in any of my stories), Mikee, Cory3, SilveredDeath, deliolith, loverwren, Eternal Cosmos, Lindiel Eryn, Beth, Redrum, Xyverz, ennui deMorte, atalante, Kathy stgzvk,
Julian: You have some good ideas, but I've done a lot of classroom stuff already and I prefer to concentrate on Harry's individual tutoring with Lucius and Severus.
Elenna Syford: I think it's integral for Harry not to lose his innocent. I think that would be Voldemort's main attraction to Harry. That Harry is so similar to Voldemort and yet not tainted.
~Mary~: I try to have purpose with every twist I create. But I'm older than some fanfic writers and I daresay I've been writing longer than a good majority of the older ones too. Let's see, I've been writing for what? 7 to 8 years.
Artemisu: You have a sick sense of humor. Well Voldie doesn't much care about mudbloods. But he does care about one of his DEs not being suitable respectful to Harry. Interesting thoughts. I ignore the Philosopher's Stone as Voldemort's not dead. CoS, I have yet to decide. I don't think ahead for this fanfic.