Fallen

by Yih

[COMPLETE Slash: HPxLV, HPxLM, HPxSS] Taken as a child, Harry grows up knowing Nagini as his caretaker and Voldemort as a person that he'd like nothing more than to impress...

7. Lessons

Fallen
by Yih

Disclaimer: This is slash.  If that squeaks you, avoid it and don't read it!  It will contain possibly all the following pairings: HP/LV, HP/LM, HP/SS, LV/LM, LV/SS, LM/SS.

Beta: Blackumbridge

I have fallen
There is no escape
This is my destiny
My fate is yours
Do what you will
I am yours
I have fallen
Fallen hard for you
Save me
I need you
I want you
For I love you

7: Lessons (January 4, 2004 to January 13, 2004)

"You must concentrate!" Lucius hissed, his silver eyes storming with frustration at Harry.  It wasn't that Harry wasn't good, he was spectacular, but for some reason this Transfiguration spell was taking him longer than others.  Granted though, it was an Advanced spell that even the more talented older Hogwarts students would have trouble with.  Transfiguring something big and alive to something small and inanimate was always harder than the reverse.  "Focus, Harry!" 

Harry bit down hard on his bottom lip as he waved his wand over the cat again.  The cat glared at him indignantly as if she was boldly saying, just try to do the spell and don't be surprised if it doesn't work!  "Mutare Forma!" Harry shouted, pointing his wand directly at the cat and concentrating on mentally seeing the cat shrink to an ordinary button. 

Like all the previous failed attempt, the cat started shrinking but this time the feline didn't stop shrinking midway through.  It kept shrinking down until it was transformed into a button the size of a dime.  Impressive.  It had only taken him 7 failed attempts.  All in all, he believed it had taken him far longer to master this spell but he wasn't going to tell Harry that.  No, he wanted Harry to think that he was a wizard not far off Voldemort's strength.  Indeed, he wasn't that far off but he was in no way anywhere near where Harry would be when he fully matured. 

But he certainly didn't mind letting the boy admire or respect him for his ability.  Hero worship was something he could handle with ease.  Draco had the same heady dose of adulation, and even more so than Harry but that was to be expected--- Draco was not as capable of a wizard.  But Draco was going to prove more than adequate, and his Malfoy genes were showing up more prominently than his mother's side. 

"I did it Lucius!" Harry exclaimed, a pleased smile lighting up his face.  "I finally did it!" 

"And you did a quite well," Lucius praised lightly, knowing that the young boy craved praise and wanted more than anything to please others.  Of course, Harry most wanted to please Voldemort and that was why he was taking these extra lessons--- to improve his magic to make Voldemort proud, but he also liked to please in general.  The trait made it very easy for Lucius to worm his way into Harry's life.  It pleased him to no end when he'd uncovered it.  "Now try it again." 

Harry easily murmured the reversal spell and was already clearing his mind in preparation for another attempt at the spell.  Lucius watched Harry as he successfully performed the spell a second time and then a third.  Really, Harry was a marvel.  And even more so, Harry was a sweet young boy.  He could see what drew his Lord to Harry.  To have someone so innocent and trusting love him like Harry loved Voldemort, that would be something unexpected and fulfilling.

-

He was beautiful when he was sleeping, Voldemort thought as he watched Harry from the doorway where the light from the hallways cast just enough light for his sweet purity to be visible.  It was heartwarming, strangely enough, for him to see Harry sleeping so peacefully and so soothingly with Nagini wrapped around him protectively.  It reminded him of how Nagini used to comfort him at night when he was young. 

{You like watching,} Nagini hissed softly, raising her head from Harry's shoulder to glance at her Master.  {Did you miss it while he was gone?  I missed it.  I missed him very much.} 

{You know I missed him,} Voldemort whispered.  {You know that I missed having him around even if I did not act like it.}

{Sometimes it seemed like you didn't care,} Nagini responded reflectively.  {You started acting the way you did before Harry came to us.  You're colder and less approachable.  When Harry's here, you are almost like the young Tom that I love so dearly.}

{I am glad I'm not that Tom anymore!} he exclaimed fiercely.  {I do not want to be that weak young boy any longer!  That weak fool that tried so hard to please everyone but failed to gain anyone's affections!  No, never, no!}

{But you had mine,] she countered.  {You always had mine.}

Voldemort pressed his lips down into a flat line as if he was struggling with himself.  Nagini knew exactly how to get a reaction out of him.  She was too good at it.  But he allowed her to get away with it.  {Harry's like me,} he remarked instead.  {He wants affection and approval more than anything.}

{Then give it to him,} Nagini responded.  {He will only love you more, and you want that--- don't you?  You want him to love you.}

Did he want Harry to love him?  His crimson eyes shifted to Harry's innocent sleeping form.  Yes, he wanted this pure and naïve young boy to love him unconditionally.  He had never had that before from anyone but Nagini and no matter how humanlike she was--- she was still a serpent.  {Perhaps.}

{I think you do,} she responded with certainty.  {Just spend more time with him, Tom, and you'll have him so enraptured he won't be able to look elsewhere.  Don't you realize that you're the one person that he's desperate to please?  Even I can't get that kind of devotion from him and I'm practically his mother.}

{Jealous?} Voldemort queried with a smirk.  She wasn't normally envious of anyone, but she was abnormally possessive of Harry so perhaps she would be in his case.  {Are you, Nagini?  The truth…}

{At times,} she admitted.  {But I certainly don't begrudge you Harry's devotion.  I am your humble servant after all.}

{More like my willful and headstrong serpent,} he countered, but his tone was affectionate.  {What would I do without you, Nagini?  What would Harry do without you?}

{You both would be lost,} she stated with absolute surety.  {Spend time with him this summer,} she urged.  {You won't regret it.  Harry has grown up to be an intellectual young boy, and you don't want either Severus nor Lucius over influencing him--- do you?}

{Of course not!}  Nagini didn't flinch, but did cast a meaningful look in Harry's slumbering direction.  {And I know what Harry has become as he has grown up,} Voldemort replied tightly.  {I will find time this summer for him.  Tell him I want to see him tomorrow after his lessons with Severus.}

Nagini would have smiled if snakes could.  {I will.}

-

"No, no no!" Severus shouted, jerking the crow's claws from the bubbling potion before Harry could make it explode a la Neville Longbottom.  "You never put ingredients in when it's bubbling!"  

Harry bit down hard on his bottom lip and with hesitation murmured, "But in the text it says to add the crow's claw when the potion is bubbling."  He pointed to the reference, and it did say that.  However, it also mentioned that it was tricky even if it made the potion more potent.  It was best to try to add the crow's claw when the potion was merely fizzing. 

"Do you believe you have gifts required to make this 5th year potion at its most potent?" Severus sneered harshly.  He knew he was being too hard on Harry, but this had been his first shortcoming in a long time.  One would think all his tutoring over the first year would have ingrained some rational sense into the young boy!  But still, he was being too cruel.  This was a potion not many of his OWLs students could handle.  Only the best and brightest could. 

"I'm sorry," Harry said softly.  "I'm sorry, Professor Snape." 

At least the boy wasn't cowering, Severus thought with a vague sense of approval.  Why would he though?  If he had grown up with Voldemort and Nagini, the boy couldn't be afraid of much.  While Harry was more cautious than most his age, he wasn't lacking in a backbone.  In fact, he had more of a spine than Severus would have thought from someone being raised by Voldemort. 

"Don't try the harder instructions," Severus responded sharply.  "Just try to make the sodding potion for the first time without any explosions.  I do not need a Longbottom reminder in the summer." 

Harry nodded and waited for the potion to simmer before adding in the crow's claws.  Most potions had a step or two that could be done different that would make the potion more potent.  But only a Potions Master could successfully do those steps.  And as Severus watched Harry with critical eyes, Harry was probably not going to make a Potions Master.  He did have dexterous hands and good timing.  Harry would make a very suitable Potions Assistant for himself if he trained him just right. 

His early indignation about being forced to tutor Harry was gone now.  He'd gotten it over long before, but it was only recently that he'd contemplated making Harry into his assistant.  That's if Harry wanted it.  Severus narrowed his eyes.  It seemed like he had competition for Harry's time with his long time nemesis, Lucius.  It irritated him that Lucius was also spending time teaching the boy.  He had never found Lucius to be a competent teacher.  Merlin only knows what Harry was learning under Lucius's instruction. 

This would be an opportune time to rip away Harry's time from Lucius.  If he wanted to train Harry to be his assistant, he would need to spend as much time with the theory as with the practical.  Of course, Severus thought darkly, he couldn't tell Voldemort that he wanted to make Harry a mere assistant.  He'd have to say something more flattering, something like training Harry to be a Potions Master. 

Was it possible?  He studied the young boy cynically.  Harry did have amazing determination and an insatiable thirst for knowledge.  He was already one of the best potions students Severus had had in a long time.  He did lack the innate intuition that was needed though, but had he had that himself at that age?  Perhaps he would refer to his Pensieve before he asked Voldemort.  Watching himself work as a young boy could only lighten his harsh judgment on Harry's skills. 

What was unimpressive to him now because he had many years of experience and numerous accolades could be remedied by watching him as a child.  He grimaced, harsh lines marring his face, he remembered exploding as many cauldrons as Longbottom.  However, he consoled himself, the potions he had been experimenting with were stuff that OWLs students could dream of and NEWTs students could only pray furiously of doing right. 

"Now carefully," Severus murmured silkily, "keep stirring it slowly, only twice in a minute.  This is the hardest step as it requires patience and timing judgment.  Don't rush.  Don't let yourself become eager."

"Yes, Professor Snape."

He wondered if he should tell the boy not to call him Professor Snape.  It reminded him too much of the obnoxious children at Hogwarts and the meddling old Headmaster.  He shrugged.  It wouldn't be proper for a student to call his teacher by his first name, but then again Harry was a special case.  And he had overheard Harry calling Lucius by his first name.  Severus's fist tightened.  Oh how he despised Lucius.

"Slow down!" he snapped at Harry.  "You're stirring too fast."  Harry wasn't actually stirring all that fast, only a tad and that wouldn't have made that much of a difference.  He was only slightly off, lacking true intuition for the subject but possessing great self discipline.  Luckily for both of them, Harry didn't stir too slow--- as if knowing Severus was disciplining him for a small infraction. 

"Sorry Professor Snape," Harry whispered. 

"It's summer," Severus finally growled, thoughts whirling with light speed in his head as he told himself the merits and demerits of letting Harry refer to him by his first name.  No horrid reminders of Hogwarts and those awful children, but then--- decidedly not proper.  Then there was Lucius…  "You may call me Severus." 

-

The room was empty.  Lucius was always waiting for him when they had a lesson.  It had been like this for several weeks, but Lucius was not here.  Harry was disappointed.  If Lucius wasn't here, that probably meant they weren't going to have a lesson.  He just didn't think Lucius would be late on purpose, and if Lucius wasn't late--- that meant something had tied him up and that he couldn't come. 

{Disappointed?} Voldemort hissed from behind.  {Lucius will not be teaching you today.}

{Is he busy?} Harry asked softly.  He was disappointed.  He looked forward to his sessions with Lucius because Lucius taught him stuff better than any of his professors at Hogwarts.  And it was more than that.  It was the special attention that Lucius gave him, his undivided attention.  The personal touch was what he craved.  {Will he be back tomorrow?}

{He is not busy,} Voldemort remarked tightly.  He was jealous, he realized with disgust, he was jealous that Harry actually missed spending time with Lucius.  Harry was his!  Harry was not to want anything or anyone but him.  {I asked him not to come.}

{Why?} Harry questioned, trying to keep the alarm out of his voice--- trying to be neutral and calm about this.  Who knew the reason why?  Inside, however, he was panicking.  He wanted Lucius to keep teaching.  He liked Lucius as a teacher.  {Will I not be receiving anymore tutoring from Lucius?}

{Not when I am here to teach you.}

That took Harry by surprise.  Voldemort had never taught him anything, not really, Harry remembered with bitter remembrance.  No matter how many times he had pleaded with his eyes for Voldemort to stay and to teach him the texts and the tomes he had given to him--- Voldemort never did.  It was like he couldn't spare the time to teach him, even if he did consider him his protégée. 

{Lucius will not be coming when I will be teaching you,} Voldemort continued with a harsh voice.  {But he will continue to instruct you when I cannot.  I hope that it won't disappoint you.}

{No!} Harry cried out fiercely.  {I…} he looked down and away, he was embarrassed at his passionate outburst.  He had striven to hide his feelings, hide how much he wanted to spend time with Voldemort. 

{What Harry?}  Voldemort asked gently. 

It was enough to cave the little resistance within Harry.  {I have always wanted you to teach me magic.  If there's anyone that I wanted to teach me, it was you!  I may learn well from books, but I've always yearned to have you teach me!}

{You will now.}  Voldemort was more than pleased.  He was going to enjoy this immensely, teaching his Harry.  Before he didn't think he could deal with the incompetence that invariably came with young children and magic.  But Harry had just gotten through his first year of Hogwarts and from what he had heard from both Lucius and Severus--- Harry was an extraordinarily gifted wizard.  He had had no doubts on that, but now Harry was ready for him. 

Of course, he thought wryly, Nagini had had a crucial hand in his decision to spend time with Harry.  She had brought it to his attention that he was letting Lucius and Severus wield too much influence over Harry, especially since they were spending more time with Harry than he was.  Not that he had much time to spare, not with those incompetent fools at the Ministry that needed everything force fed to them.  He didn't mind mostly; he enjoyed the absolute power--- but couldn't they handle some of the issues he could care less about themselves?!

{There is nothing that I can't teach you,} Voldemort began with an insidious edge.  {But it has come to my attention that you have no idea how to duel, and that is one of the most important defenses a wizard can have against himself.  There is a proper way of dueling that you should be taught as well as how to guard yourself against unscrupulous wizards that would wish to do you harm.  If they don't warn you, that is quite Slytherin of them.}

Harry nodded and was about to ask Voldemort a question when Voldemort merely gestured his hand toward Harry and said carelessly, "Expelliarmus!"

Flying backwards despite the casually mentioned disarming spell, Voldemort had luckily aimed for Harry to hit a chair in the room rather than some other hard object.  It was still enough force to cause the chair to buckle under the pressure but Harry was no worse for the wear than a mild bruise.  {Always be wary,} he hissed forcefully.  {Always overestimate your opponent.  Never underestimate them.  It will kill you.  Do you understand me, Harry?}

{I understand.}

The second the words left Harry's lips, Voldemort was already aiming another spell at Harry that Harry wasn't able to dodge since he saw it coming too late.  He was hit with a stupefy spell that caught him in mid position of trying to stand up from the broken chair.  It was an awkward position if Voldemort kept him in it… Harry would have horribly cramped up muscles. 

{You must always be on your guard.  There will be people that won't like you, Harry.  You have had a measure of protection this first year because you were a first year and were more sheltered by your house.  But you must realize that the older that you get, the more that the hatred of others will show because of what they do not understand.  This will especially become more apparent the stronger that you get.  Weak wizards hate what they cannot have.  It is human nature.}

He walked over to where Harry was paralyzed and wrapped his arms around him as he softly spoke, "Finite Incantantum."  Harry slumped into his arms for a moment before he gathered up the strength in his body to stand on his two feet by himself.  {You must be careful Harry.}

{I will be.}

This time when Voldemort threw a jelly leg jinx at him, Harry dodged it and even managed to try a counter with an impediment charm--- unsuccessful but it pleased Voldemort to see Harry fighting back.  This was important, to teach Harry to fight back, it was important because he remembered how things had been when he'd grown older--- everything he'd told Harry was true.  People would hate him not for any solid reason other than that he was more powerful than they could every dream of being. 

-

Author's Note: I'm not thrilled with the people that didn't review because I really do need the inspiration.  Besides, it makes me happy when I get email that isn't regarding homework/things to do/stress in college.  Anyway, I probably won't be updating next week unless well reviews inspire me like hell this weekend as I haven't even started.  Thanks. 

Thanks to lillinfields, colibi, HarrySlyther*son, HoshiHikari4ever (it's slash, no het), LunaBard, Serpent of Light (I don't write Paradox of Existence that's Dragonlight, I write Mirror of Paradox), redrose2310, Silverdrake, Lolita, Eaiva le Fay (Harry is Harry and this Harry is a nerd, instead of being passionate about Quidditch, it's books), Westerly, aerin, chibineko, Kathy stgqvk (you would think dumbly would give up? did Voldie when he lost?), The Shadow Bandit, redrum, Eternal Cosmos, Aspid, and Kateri1.