Fallen
by Yih
Disclaimer: This is slash. If that squeaks you, avoid it and don't read it! It will contain possibly all the following pairings: HP/LV, HP/LM, HP/SS, LV/LM, LV/SS, LM/SS.
Beta: Blackumbridge
9: Burnout (January 20, 2004 to January 26, 2004)
He couldn't do the spell. He could not do the spell. No matter how many times he tried, he couldn't get it to work as it should work. This spell was nothing new to him; he had learned it over the summer with Lucius--- and yet he could not do it. Why wasn't it working? He gritted his teeth together. He didn't understand! It wouldn't work for him. It was like he was a squib or something!
"Getting frustrated won't help," Flitwick murmured soothingly, not particularly alarmed though he was concerned. It was unusual that Harry couldn't pull off the spell when he asked his favorite student to demonstrate. Then again, it was a 4th/5th year spell--- so it wasn't terribly disappointing, just vaguely so. "Just sit down and relax, Harry. I'll demonstrate the summoning spell to the class."
With a quick flick of his wand, Flitwick then cried out, "Accio Charms Through the Ages!" The thick textbook flew off the bookshelf and into his hand. "This is a middle level spell," Flitwick told them. "That can be performed easily by all wizards and witches. However, it gets to be tricky when you are trying to summon a heavy object over a distance of ground. That takes a lot of force as well as ability."
Harry was furious with himself. But he sat down and watched the rest of the lecture on the theory and background and uses of the summoning charm. It wasn't anything he didn't know, but he always paid particular attention to spells that he failed. He was focusing so hard, he didn't notice the way that Hermione was staring at him with keen observation and concern.
She knew something wasn't right with Harry. Something was dreadfully wrong with him. It wasn't so much that he looked bad; he never looked better actually. His cheeks had never been so flush and full of life, but there was something wrong with the image. She bit down on her bottom lip. It was the way he moved. He moved like he was tired and worn out even if he looked like he was screaming with energy.
He was using some sort of spell, and she had never seen him fail a demonstrative charm for Flitwick before. There was something wrong, and she was going to find out. She had an off period next, and that was always the perfect time for digging up information at the library.
At least potions were going well, Harry thought. Not only that, but that he also managed to get Hermione off his back. She had been nagging him incessantly about why he had a glamour charm on him. Drat it, if there was anyone that would have found it, it would be her. She was far too nosy and curious for her own good. That was why they made good friends--- they both thirsted for knowledge--- but it could also be an incredibly inconvenient trait in cases like these.
He had told her that he was just practicing the new charms he had learned, and that it took a lot of magical energy for him to maintain it--- which was why he was tired and weary. It made sense to her, and it wasn't a lie. It did take up a good deal of magical energy for him to maintain the glamour, but that still shouldn't be enough for him not to summon an object--- he still didn't understand why the spell hadn't worked!
Thank Merlin that in potions he was feeling adequate. He was able to do everything like it was only a mere afterthought and it made him feel better to actually be the one helping Hermione in this rather than the reverse. He smiled and gently moved her hand away from the bubbling potion. "I'll add the mandrake root," he told her. "You wouldn't want to burn your hand, would you?"
She blinked then nodded. "I'll go chop the chicken claws then."
He carefully added the mandrake root slice by slice until the potion quit bubbling
and settled into a smooth simmer. It was at this moment that Severus--- no
Professor Snape walked by to inspect their progress. He did not smile, though
Harry didn't expect that he would, but there was a pleased gleam in his eyes
that only he recognized. It was slight softening that Harry remembered from
the summer.
"Adequate, Potter and Granger," Severus commended sharply, "but be careful not to lose concentration. An incomplete potion halfway done right still needs to be finished. Keep up the work and it will be a decent day's work."
That was as much of praise as any student could expect from Sev--- Professor Snape. It was hard for him not to blush with pleasure at the compliment. It was pleasant knowing he could still do something right in a day that had gone all wrong.
"It's a simple spell," Professor McGonagall began. "But it can get quite tricky if you don't learn to do it right the first time. The conceptual theory behind it is that it can prove quite useful when you need to carry large objects. Some very talented Transfigurators have even managed to successfully and safely shrunk live specimens and travel with them. I would not advise trying that anytime in the near future.
"We will start off trying to reduce the book in front of each of you. If you manage to pull this off, it will be quite a help when you carry your increasingly thicker books around school. Now listen to me carefully, as all of you should know by now the severe importance of pronouncing the spells correctly if you want what you intend the spell for… the pronunciation is re-du-ci-o. Now for the demonstration…" McGonagall raised her wand and pointed it at the stack of books on her desk. "Reducio!"
The books easily shrunk down to the size of a thimble. "You won't be able to reduce it by that much at first, it's all about concentration on imagining the object of intent shrinking down to size. You should manage to reduce the object by ½ initially and progressively more as you become more confident with the spell. And as with most spells, it can be reversed with Finite Incantantem, which will end the effects of Reducio."
This was a mindless lecture for Harry. He wasn't even bothering to give the appearance that he was paying attention. It didn't matter anyway. While most teachers would have called on him because of his lack of focus, McGonagall never did and he was grateful for that. She'd call on Hermione or Terry from the Ravenclaws and she favored Ron Weasley and Susan Bones especially from Gryffindor. For some reason the old bat didn't like him, couldn't stand him--- and while he knew that she favored Gryffindors as badly as Severus preferred Slytherins… the outright way she ignored him was the reason why his grades in Transfiguration were less than to be desired.
The subject matter wasn't hard, it was just that he didn't thrive in a class where the teacher didn't give him the attention he needed. It sometimes concerned him how much he craved having someone's approval, but then again--- there were worse things to crave and he'd deal with it. And maybe he'd grow out of the overwhelming need, though he knew for a fact he'd never outgrow the desperate seeking of Voldemort's approval.
"Who would like to demonstrate?" McGonagall inquired. Granger was the first to raise her hand, Minerva noted, but Granger was always the first it seemed. No, she wanted to choose someone else even if she knew for a fact that Granger would do a neat job of it. What of Marvolo?
Her eyes narrowed as she contemplated the idea. She didn't doubt he could do it, the wealth of magic theory he knew was undeniable. Dark arts too. Not many knew of the association of Marvolo to the Dark Lord Voldemort, but she did. And besides that attribute about Marvolo, he was also disgustingly not paying attention. "What about you, Harry Marvolo or are you too caught up wasting time with your musings?"
His head snapped toward her. His shocked green eyes met her and it was strange how it reminded her of someone, someone that she had taught years ago--- but who? "If you would like me to," he murmured cordially, "I will."
"I would. Come to the front," she remarked, hearing mutterings of astonishment and jeers from the Gryffindor side. She didn't bother to snap at them when she herself agreed with what they were saying, though she did send them a withering look to behave and to be quiet. "Demonstrate the Reducing Spell, Marvolo."
Harry took out his wand and pointed it toward a thick text. He was slightly nervous. This was a simple spell for him, but he had been having notorious difficulty with any spells he did that weren't elementary. This was easy yes but not quite elementary. But he did it anyway. He had to. Positioning his wand at the perfect angle, he swished it quickly and shouted, "Reducio!"
The text shrunk, not by a great margin as McGongall's attempt but it shrunk quite a bit more than she said it should have shrunk. He was intensely relieved that he'd been able to do this as he had used this spell beforehand. But using that tidbit of magic left him feeling slightly queasy, ill. It was because it was a struggle for him to maintain his glamour up. He had had to layer his glamour and ground them because of Voldemort, and if he could fool Voldemort--- he could fool anyone.
He also had to pretend that he wasn't as bone tired as he felt, and that was an additional difficulty though it did not take from his magical reserves but his physical ones. He gave a small smile to McGonagall and was about to sit down when she gestured for him to come to the front of the room. What did the old bat want now? Why was she choosing him when it was well known fact she disliked him? Well, maybe not dislike but certainly ignored him.
"That was quite impressive," she remarked. "Why don't you try to shrink the stack of books on my desk? It's been a while since I've seen a student do that well on a first try."
Harry suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at her. He knew that she knew that it wasn't his first try, though it was still impressive regardless. He considered it damn well brilliant considering his exhausted state of mind. It still amazed him that Voldemort hadn't discovered it, then again their lessons had fallen underneath the dust as Voldemort had notorious difficulties with the Ministry's idiocy.
Lucky for him. But he still didn't know why he wasn't recovering. He was getting plenty of sleep now, not having to worry about waking up in the middle of the night to reapply his glamour charms so that Nagini wouldn't be overly suspicious. He should be recovering; he shouldn't be feeling this bloody tired! What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't understand! He didn't understand it at all!
"Marvolo?" His head jerked toward her. "Do I need to repeat myself?"
"No, Professor McGongall," he murmured politely, ignoring the snickering that was coming from the Gryffindor side. God he hated having double classes with Gryffindors, they were unbearable. Slytherins were much better, and Hufflepuffs were a dream with how well behaved they always were. "This stack?"
"Is there any other?"
He managed not to scowl and bit his tongue to hold the words he wanted to snap at her. It wouldn't do to have her irritated with him when she was the one Professor at the school that almost seemed to hate him. He didn't understand why. It would make more sense if he'd been Slytherin, the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin rivalry was well known and quite fierce in this year between Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy.
Steadying his wand, he shouted out, "Reducio!" He felt the power, the little magic that he had draining out of his body and shrinking the stack of books impressively. They were still bigger than McGonagall's stack but still very small, small enough that he could hold it in the palm of his hand easily. He blinked and shook his head. He was insanely dizzy. He bit down hard on his lip.
"Marvolo, are you all right?" He blinked again. Why wouldn't he be all right? "Return to your seat." Yes, that was what he would do. He took a step and felt a strange liquid feeling rush through his body. He felt numb, and he felt boneless. They sort of went together. He took another step and felt true weakness. "MARVOLO?!"
He heard someone gasp. It sounded like Hermione. He hoped that she would take good notes for the rest of class because he sure as hell wasn't going to, he thought as he felt his body collapsing. It was a bodiless feeling as he really didn't feel like he was attached to his body anymore. Hadn't in a long time, as he'd disconnected his mind from his body so that he wouldn't let the physical weariness of his body drag him down. Now it was, and he watched from the sidelines with perverse fascination.
Down, down he went. Voldemort was not going to be pleased when he heard. Damn it.
"Is he going to be all right, Madame Pomfrey?" Hermione asked, feeling better about asking her than inquiring from Professor Snape who stood in the corner with a distinctive scowl. She didn't understand why he was there, when he wasn't Harry's Head of House--- though he was the Professor that Harry did a lot of extra work for. God, he couldn't be upset that Harry wouldn't be able to do his grunt work for him when Harry had collapsed, could he? What an outrage!
"He's suffering from magical exhaustion," Poppy stated clinically. "It's hardly a positive sign. I've never had a case where a wizard suffered from such severe signs as he's showing so early on. It's very discouraging. Either he's been using heavy magic for long periods of time during the summer vacation, which is illegal, or he's simply not cut out for Hogwarts. Even if it's the former, he won't be able to stay at Hogwarts. It takes months at the least, and in most cases it takes a few years to heal from such an extreme case as his is."
What a depressing verdict, Hermione thought. Harry couldn't leave, and she didn't think it was the latter case. He was too talented, it had to be the first--- and if there was anyone who could get pass the Ministry's regulations on underage magic use--- it was him. She knew the truth, that he had grown up in the Dark Lord's household, and if there was any possibility of underage magic being used by anyone--- it would be by Harry.
"It won't take years," Severus sneered from the background. "He will have to miss this year, but it'll be no loss to him. He already knows most of the spells the best Hogwarts graduates would have knowledge of. It will take months though of careful revitalizing and strengthening potions, but he will recover. The foolish boy," he muttered, and it's my fault because I knew something was wrong and yet I didn't know exactly what. He knew it was his blindness that had failed to see… such a rare occurrence for him. He'd been trained to be sharp. "He will need to be withdrawn from Hogwarts immediately."
Hermione jumped up from where she was sitting and exclaimed, "What right do you have? You're not his Head of House!"
"Yes but word from his guardian supercedes all things, and his active guardian has appointed me his guardian for anytime period when he is out of the country." Personally, it was a good thing Voldemort was being held up with another fiasco in Central Europe. He'd be gone for a few months, and that hopefully would give him plenty of time to get Harry magically healthy again. He'd prefer to be on the receiving end of a more forgiving Cruciatus.
"But…" she glanced down at where Harry was still lying prone in a magical sleep that would help relieve him from the toxic pain his body would have to go through with magical withdrawal, "wouldn't it be best if he remained here?"
"And what good would that do him, Miss Granger?" Severus sneered. "If anything, knowing Mr. Marvolo, being surrounded by magic when he can do no magic would only frustrate him more than he could stand. I would think from all his friends, that you would know that better than all others. Or perhaps, I was mistaken about your friendship with him…"
That cut her deeply. His words because she knew what he was saying was true, not that it made it any easier for her. If anything, it only made it harder. Her hazel eyes shifted toward Harry's restless form, and she knew that it would annoy Harry--- as it would irritate her--- to be surrounded by magic and not be able to perform any. And maybe being home would be good for him. He always did seem really happy when he came back from summer, so his family life couldn't be as bad was what some rumored that it was.
"You weren't mistaken," she responded coldly. "We are the best of friends."
"Then it would be a good friend that would go to his room and make sure that his things are ready for me when I leave with him later tonight," Severus suggested offhandedly, knowing full well that she was going to do it and spare him the incessant trouble. Oh he loved how easily young children could be manipulated. Too bad they were also highly impaired in the mind. Truly a pity. At least this Granger girl wasn't. It was almost admirable.
She gave one last look at Harry before she left the hospital ward. Severus sighed and moved to sit down next to Harry's still form. "You foolish, foolish boy," he muttered almost affectionately as he brushed away some of Harry's unruly locks. "What are we going to do with you?"
Author's Note: Hmm… reviews go up then go down then go way up then go
way down. Am I losing readers or gaining readers? I really don't know. Oh
well. Chapter 10 will probably be late. As I'm concentrating on LOVE ATROCIOUS,
which is a story I'm so desperately excited about I don't know what to do.
I want to release it, all 6,400 glorious words of it! (I.E. it's the longest
chapter I've ever written for a HP fanfic, or a fanfic period). I've never
read a story like it AND Lucius & Severus are so wonderfully IC. Sweet
god, how sexy those blokes are.
Thanks to Aerhiana, LuciusHater08, redrose2310, ravenshaelo, Eileen (I do spend quite a bit of time coming up with the small details), Liv (you've got my fav name), Jessi Malfoy, Serpent of Light (of course Voldie will find out), Draconisdagger2000, Calyx-girl, MarsMoonStar, Calimora, silaqui, Kathleen, TigerBlak (I'll try), futagoakuma-tenshi01, Lasitar (glad you're excited about LA, it's coming out ASAP, I have read a few decent HP/LM/LV but no HP/SS/LM, what a pity), DarkKeeper (Ron will be in the story in some capacity), Mrs Tom Riddle (unless you're a Rice student that's double majoring, I don't have much sympathy ;*( which I am), axavi (excellent taste), Aeslyn (I capture it well b/c –I feel- like that ;p), Sahira, deliolith (thanks for the detail about glamour spells, actually helped me write a bit in this chappie), beatriz-T, HoshiHikari4ever, rayvern (yes Voldemort does fear that, sorry about the bad sentence structure, blame my beta I don't read my stuff after I write it), Nemati, Vicious Pixie (and hardly any slash movies), Aspid (4th/5th year), Gia, Rise of Chaos, Resggal (update YOURS and I'll update mine, how does that sound?), Nelum, wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon, dregori, Kathy stgqvk, xyverz (Lucius is Lucius), shamannogler, Eaiva le Fay (minister is a bit cliché for Lucius, but it fits his persona too well), Kateri1, Lindiel Eryn (Well Voldemort doesn't see him too much the last few weeks, only a tad bit enough to wear Harry out), ToonTowncutie, Redrum.