The Episode Part 1


"So, our straight guy this week is Gilbert Grissom," Thom read out.

"Gilbert!?" Carson cried.

"Apparently everyone calls him Gil or Grissom," Thom explained.

"Thank god for that," Ted said.

"He's a crime scene investigator, who specialises in entomology," Thom continued, stumbling slightly over the words.

"Huh?" Jai asked.

"Bugs. He likes bugs," Thom explained.

"Oookay," Kyan said. "That's certainly a dampener on your love life."

"Actually, he's living with Catherine Willows, who he's been dating for seven months, but apparently has known for over seventeen years!"

"Wow, she's pretty," Jai commented, looking at her picture.

"She's also a crime scene investigator, except her specialty is blood spatter."

"There's a conversation stopper right there. And a hazard to all your clothes," Carson nodded.

"She's five months pregnant, and has a daughter Lindsey, from a previous marriage."

"So what's our mission?" Kyan asked.

"Apparently Gil is trying to sum up the courage to ask Catherine to marry him."
"So we need to turn our science geek into a love god!"

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CUE QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY CREDITS

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The boys rapped on the door, and Gil finally opened it.

"Hey there handsome!" Carson cried.

"Oh boy," Gil said, taking a big breath.

"And this must be mommy-to-be," Kyan smiled, as Catherine came out. "Hey there."

Catherine smiled self-consciously. "Hi."

"I love your house," Thom said, looking around. "It's great to see a place where you don't have to do too much work!"

"Food in the fridge!" Ted called out from the kitchen. "And some…peculiar looking substance…"

"No! Don't touch that!" Gil cried out.

"Too late!" Ted called back.

Catherine chuckled and placed a hand on Gil's arm. "Let it go, hon."

"Okay, there's a lot of female products in this bathroom, but I see no moisturizer or cleanser for guys," Kyan cried.

Gil's eyes widened. "Moisturizer? Cleanser?"

"I think we're scaring him," Jai observed.

"Where's the closet! Where's the clothes?" Carson said, making his way upstairs.

"He's going into my closet?" Gil cried, staring at Catherine.

She patted his arm. "It'll all be fine, I promise."

"Why are there no casual clothes in this closet! Send the straight boy up immediately!"

"Catherine?" Gil said, looking at her.

She shrugged and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Calm. Stay calm."

He gave her a final baleful look as he headed up the stairs.

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"Is it just me, but no matter where I look, there are no condoms in this house?" Carson commented, as Jai and Kyan came to explore the bedroom.

"Well, Catherine is pregnant," Kyan pointed out.

"Hmm," Carson muttered, then lit up as Gil came into the room. "There you are! We were just discussing the lack of condoms in your house!"

Gil blushed and tried to say something in reply, but he just was in too much shock and couldn't form the words.

"It's nice to meet a man who remembers how to blush," Kyan smiled.

"So, Grissom, where are all your casual clothes?"

Gil frowned. "I'm wearing them."

Carson blinked. "No honey, that's called work clothes."

Gil contemplated how he felt about another man calling him honey. "I don't understand."

"Bless the dear heart, he's never been educated in fashion." Carson grinned. "We've got a lot of work to do with you."

"Hey, Grissom, let's go check out your bathroom," Kyan suggested.

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"So I see a lot of female products in here, but nothing much for guys. What do you wash your face with?"

Grissom blinked. "Soap?"

"Wrong answer my friend. We need to get you some products."

Gil sighed. This was definitely going to be a long day.

"Hey! Send the straight guy down here please!" Ted called.

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"So, what is Catherine's favorite food?"

"Turkey club, no bacon," Gil said firmly. "And she really likes chocolate."

Ted nodded. "Okay. So maybe for dinner we could have the turkey club, and then for dessert, we could make her something very chocolatey."

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"So, this is the nursery," Jai said, walking into a room with Catherine.

"The half-finished one, yeah," Catherine chuckled. "We don't get a lot of time to work on it."

"That's okay, that's what we're here for," Jai smiled. "So, tell me about Grissom."

Catherine smiled softly. "He's such a great guy. He takes such great care of me and Lindsey and I love him to pieces. He truly is the best man in the world."

"But what about the bugs?"

Catherine smiled slightly. "I'm not a huge fan of bugs, but they are part of who he is. As long as they stay in the basement, I can handle it. I'll take him any way I can get him."

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"Oh Grissom, your gorgeous girlfriend is going," Jai said, marching Catherine into the room.

"Nice alliteration," Thom noticed.

"Thanks," Jai smiled.

"Have fun," Catherine told Gil, her hands resting gently on his arms.

Gil nodded and bent down, kissing her deeply, as the Fab Five "aww"ed at them.

"Love you," he told her, when the kiss ended. "Take care of baby."

She smiled softly. "Love you back. And I will."

"Bye Catherine!" the Fab Five waved.

Catherine waved back and left the house.

"So, now she's gone, wanna get married?" Carson asked Gil.

Gil stuttered around, not quite sure what to say. Luckily, Jai rescued him.

"Okay, my turn with the straight guy now!"

Jai and Gil sat down on the couch in the living room. "Okay, so tell me about Catherine."

That one name finally put Gil at ease. That was one subject he could definitely talk about.

He smiled. "Catherine is…my life. There aren't enough words in the world to describe her. She's the most intelligent woman I've ever met and she fought incredible odds to get where she is. I didn't really know how to live until I met Catherine. She made life so much better and made me really want to live. She's so unaware of how absolutely gorgeous she is, and how her smile makes me melt. I just want to show her how much I love her for the rest of my life."

"Wow," Jai said. "That was so incredibly amazing. And how do you feel about becoming a dad?"

If possible, Gil's face lit up even more. "I'm already a dad. Watching Lindsey grow up into the beautiful young woman she is now has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. And now to know that I'm going to be a dad all over again…it's just so amazing."

"Have you got the ring?" Jai asked.

Gil nodded. "It goes where I go." He opened the box and inside was nestled a simple diamond ring.

"Well, we have a lot to do today, so we should probably get started. Thom! Ted! Carson Kyan!"

The other four raced into the room.

"Yes sir!" Ted said, mock-saluting Jai.

"Let's motor!" Carson said, grabbing Gil's hand and tugging him out the door.

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