Standard disclaimer.
To avoid possible legal battles, I even asked Santa for my very own MASH set of characters for Christmas, but he's too cheap!
The date of 9/5 (September 5) is the original draft date of the script for "Comrades In Arms"
NB: This chapter has some [in]direct sexual references.
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BOSTON MERCY HOSPITAL, BOSTON, MASS: AUGUST 25, 1953.
Charles entered his large office in a daze, things were happening too fast. He'd gone home from work last night a semi-free man and returned engaged with a $487.42 dinner bill.
He sat down at his desk and opened the bottom drawer. He pulled out a 12 year old bottle of scotch and had a gulp.
There were several messages on his desk blotter. He began to thumb thorough them.
Senator Long on his heart surgery, The medical examiner wanting a patient report, His mother, re. Marriage, his father re. Marriage Dr. Webly, general surgery department on board meeting
That's right, thought Charles; he had a board meeting today. With the exception of that, it looked to be a quiet day. He'd call his parents and Senator Long, the coroner could wait.
He was hopeless, wouldn't know an M.D. from DJ
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BOSTON GENERAL HOSPITAL, BOSTON, MASS: AUGUST 25, 1953.
Trapper was playing mini-golf and enjoying a relaxing morning. He didn't have any scheduled surgery until 1:00pm and that new guy from Boston Mercy was handling the emergency room that morning.
He still couldn't figure out why he'd been transferred to General from Mercy but it didn't really faze him, it wasn't his problem.
The intercom buzzed, it was Sharon "Dr. McIntyre, Price is on the phone, should I boil some coffee?" she asked, jokingly.
Trap sunk the ball and picked up the phone "No, just put him on" he said
He still couldn't figure out why he'd been transferred to General from Mercy but it didn't really faze him, it wasn't his problem.
The intercom buzzed, it was Sharon "Dr. McIntyre, Price is on the phone, should I boil some coffee?" she asked, jokingly.
Trap sunk the ball and picked up the phone "No, just put him on" he said
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SUNNY RIVER MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY, SYRACUSE, NEW YORK: AUGUST 25, 1953.
Two huge orderlies dragged a heavily sedated Sam Flagg, drooling on his straightjacket and trying to bite off his tongue, into a rubber room and locked the door.
They walked off, "oh brother!" one of them commented "whatever caused that guy to flip out sure spooked 'em good"
They walked off, "oh brother!" one of them commented "whatever caused that guy to flip out sure spooked 'em good"
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HUNNICUTT HOME, MILL VALLEY, CALIFORNIA: AUGUST 25, 1953.
Erin was fast asleep, it was late. BJ and Peg were watching Walter Cronkite, as they snuggled Peg looked into BJ eye's and sighed.
"BJ have you thought anymore about what I said?" she asked, BJ who was glued to the late news took a second or two click.
"Hmmm" he said, "yes, and I think you're right - we should have more kids"
"BJ have you thought anymore about what I said?" she asked, BJ who was glued to the late news took a second or two click.
"Hmmm" he said, "yes, and I think you're right - we should have more kids"
BJ said that it was awful in Korea, not getting to see Erin take her steps, have her first birthday or even her second. He concluded that he wanted to see at least one of his kids do all those things.
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PIERCE HOME , CRABAPPLE COVE, MAINE: AUGUST 26, 1953.
Margaret sat on the porch nursing her coffee. The sunlight reflected off the ocean and the fresh smell of sea air filled her lungs.
There was a gentle breeze and the warm sunshine melted away into the background. This place was perfect, after soo long in a canvas tent in Korea, she finally had a place to call home..well, soon.
Hawkeye was taking a shower; Daniel had disappeared into town again, Margaret thought it was a bit strange but didn't really question it.
After a few minutes she could hear the water being turned off and went inside to start on breakfast.
The beautiful old home was built with wide open spaces and was perfect for raising a family. The big bay windows in the den looked out to the ocean and the large fireplace was great for curling up in front of at night.
Hawkeye came downstairs and kissed her good morning, he could smell bacon and eggs.
Life seemed great for Hawkeye Pierce, he had breakfast, a fantastic practice in town, and his Margaret had arrived, so, he thought, it was time to speak up.
"Uh..Margaret, there's something I uh...something I need to uh...need to tell you" he said, with a twinge of nervous in his voice.
She held a finger to his lips "ssssh" she said, "upstairs".
He giggled and looked at her "I was always told never to it on a full stomach"
Margaret frowned, "Pierce, you still haven't changed".
There was a gentle breeze and the warm sunshine melted away into the background. This place was perfect, after soo long in a canvas tent in Korea, she finally had a place to call home..well, soon.
Hawkeye was taking a shower; Daniel had disappeared into town again, Margaret thought it was a bit strange but didn't really question it.
After a few minutes she could hear the water being turned off and went inside to start on breakfast.
The beautiful old home was built with wide open spaces and was perfect for raising a family. The big bay windows in the den looked out to the ocean and the large fireplace was great for curling up in front of at night.
Hawkeye came downstairs and kissed her good morning, he could smell bacon and eggs.
Life seemed great for Hawkeye Pierce, he had breakfast, a fantastic practice in town, and his Margaret had arrived, so, he thought, it was time to speak up.
"Uh..Margaret, there's something I uh...something I need to uh...need to tell you" he said, with a twinge of nervous in his voice.
She held a finger to his lips "ssssh" she said, "upstairs".
He giggled and looked at her "I was always told never to it on a full stomach"
Margaret frowned, "Pierce, you still haven't changed".
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O'REILLY FARM, OTTUMWA, IOWA: AUGUST 26, 1953.
Radar and Patti lay on the piles of hay in the hay barn; the sweet country breeze filled the air.
"Do you want to get married someday?" asked Patti, leaning over and giving Radar a hug.
He wasn't sure what do say, did he want to get married? "You mean with like kids and everythin'?"
Patti looked at Radar; she could tell he was nervous "Relax, not for a year or two yet" she said, giving him a big wet kiss.
"Do you want to get married someday?" asked Patti, leaning over and giving Radar a hug.
He wasn't sure what do say, did he want to get married? "You mean with like kids and everythin'?"
Patti looked at Radar; she could tell he was nervous "Relax, not for a year or two yet" she said, giving him a big wet kiss.
Wow, Radar thought. He hadn't been home long and already things were starting to go good. Although he still missed his uncle Ed and the farm wasn't quite that same, he was glad he'd met Patti.
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PIERCE HOME , CRABAPPLE COVE, MAINE: AUGUST 26, 1963.
Margaret and Hawk lay on his bed, they were both fully, hmm…uh, satisfied.
She looked out one of the large bedroom windows at the road, it was empty.
"Relax" said Hawk, "Dad won't be home for a while"
"What do you think he is doing?" asked Margaret, Hawkeye sat up on the edge of the bed
"He's probably running a few errands in town or seeing a friend" he reassured her.
"I think he knows what we're up to.." she said, looking at Hawkeye, who promptly fobbed it off
"My dad is a grown man" he said, laying back down "it's not like he hasn't done it before"
Margaret looked at him, a bit smile across her face. She brushed the long blonde hair out from her face "you're right, come 'ere you" she teased, pulling him back into her arms.
They snuggled for a while, then, on completion of another physical, Margaret turned to Hawkeye.
"Ben..." she began "there is a reason I came to see you".
Hawk propped him self up, he laughed and said "let me guess, is it that you love me, want to get married and have a house filled with little Pierce feet?"
Margaret looked astounded, she couldn't have said it better herself "yes!" she screeched "yes! I do want to marry you Hawkeye, I love you so much"
She looked out one of the large bedroom windows at the road, it was empty.
"Relax" said Hawk, "Dad won't be home for a while"
"What do you think he is doing?" asked Margaret, Hawkeye sat up on the edge of the bed
"He's probably running a few errands in town or seeing a friend" he reassured her.
"I think he knows what we're up to.." she said, looking at Hawkeye, who promptly fobbed it off
"My dad is a grown man" he said, laying back down "it's not like he hasn't done it before"
Margaret looked at him, a bit smile across her face. She brushed the long blonde hair out from her face "you're right, come 'ere you" she teased, pulling him back into her arms.
They snuggled for a while, then, on completion of another physical, Margaret turned to Hawkeye.
"Ben..." she began "there is a reason I came to see you".
Hawk propped him self up, he laughed and said "let me guess, is it that you love me, want to get married and have a house filled with little Pierce feet?"
Margaret looked astounded, she couldn't have said it better herself "yes!" she screeched "yes! I do want to marry you Hawkeye, I love you so much"
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Hawkeye and Margaret were sitting on the edge of Hawk's bed, contemplating what had just happened.
"so?" he asked "do you, do you really love me?"
Margaret looked at him "yes, yes! Of course I do".
Hawk got up off the bed "well, in that case" he said, walking over to the dresser "this is for you" he pulled a small red box out of his underwear drawer, the under the stack of 'Nudist Monthly' magazines.
He sat back down and gave the box to Margaret who promptly opened it, revealing a diamond engagement ring.
"OH HAWKEYE!" she yelled with joy, jumping up and giving him a great big hug, her long blonde hair flowing in the breeze.
"It was my Grandma Bates' - my dad said to save it until I met someone very special' explained Hawkeye
"Does this mean you want to get married?" asked Margaret,
"It sure does" affirmed Hawkeye
Margaret jumped on top him, pushing him onto the bed, "Oh Ben, I love you so much, I'm as happy as a schoolgirl. You need another physical".
She giggled and plastered that trademark smile of hers on her face, ready to rip into Hawkeye - again.
She was about to ask Hawkeye something, however suddenly, there were noises from downstairs ...footsteps?
Margaret sprang up and fell over herself trying to quickly tidy up. She hurriedly slipped the ring onto her finger as Hawkeye fell over trying to wrestle his pants back on.
"so?" he asked "do you, do you really love me?"
Margaret looked at him "yes, yes! Of course I do".
Hawk got up off the bed "well, in that case" he said, walking over to the dresser "this is for you" he pulled a small red box out of his underwear drawer, the under the stack of 'Nudist Monthly' magazines.
He sat back down and gave the box to Margaret who promptly opened it, revealing a diamond engagement ring.
"OH HAWKEYE!" she yelled with joy, jumping up and giving him a great big hug, her long blonde hair flowing in the breeze.
"It was my Grandma Bates' - my dad said to save it until I met someone very special' explained Hawkeye
"Does this mean you want to get married?" asked Margaret,
"It sure does" affirmed Hawkeye
Margaret jumped on top him, pushing him onto the bed, "Oh Ben, I love you so much, I'm as happy as a schoolgirl. You need another physical".
She giggled and plastered that trademark smile of hers on her face, ready to rip into Hawkeye - again.
She was about to ask Hawkeye something, however suddenly, there were noises from downstairs ...footsteps?
Margaret sprang up and fell over herself trying to quickly tidy up. She hurriedly slipped the ring onto her finger as Hawkeye fell over trying to wrestle his pants back on.
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VACANT COMMERCIAL LOT # 140593, TOLEDO, OHIO: AUGUST 28, 1953.
Klinger, Paul Connor and Denton L. Richards, Jr. (Klinger's smooth taking business man / attorney) were surveying a vacant lot in downtown Toledo, the sign on the "FOR SALE" sign had said $5000 and Klinger had decided to buy.
The ever clumsy Paul Connor and Jerome H. Larry, III - the trendy architect conferred as to the design of the building, while John Williams, the suave loans man watched from a distance.
No one really liked him, he'd concluded, maybe it was the image improvement program from the "Famous Las Vegas Character School" that caused things to go south.
"Yep" said Klinger, conferring with Connor and the rest of his team, I can see it now "Chez Klinger, Grand Opening!" he said, arms out skyward, a true visionary.
"When?" asked Richards, taking a drag on his cigar.
"Soon" Klinger said, very confident, "very, very soon".
The ever clumsy Paul Connor and Jerome H. Larry, III - the trendy architect conferred as to the design of the building, while John Williams, the suave loans man watched from a distance.
No one really liked him, he'd concluded, maybe it was the image improvement program from the "Famous Las Vegas Character School" that caused things to go south.
"Yep" said Klinger, conferring with Connor and the rest of his team, I can see it now "Chez Klinger, Grand Opening!" he said, arms out skyward, a true visionary.
"When?" asked Richards, taking a drag on his cigar.
"Soon" Klinger said, very confident, "very, very soon".
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PIERCE HOME, CRABAPPLE COVE, MAINE: AUGUST 27, 1953.
Daniel was home, Hawkeye and Margaret crept down the stairs as he laid shopping bags on the kitchen counter.
"I already know you're here, so there's no need to sneak down here, I don't care what you get up to as long as you're finished by the time I get home" said Daniel, spying Hawkeye and Margaret out the corner of his eye.
They came down into the kitchen as Daniel began to put the groceries away.
"So..." he quizzed, opening the fridge "what did you kids get up to while I was gone?"
Margaret and Hawk looked at each other, "Oh nothing!" said Hawk with a big grin, "just decide to get married, take out the trash, the usual"
Daniel shut the fridge "really?" asked, half shocked, half jokingly "well, that's terrific news, so...just when do you plan on having this wedding?"
Hawkeye and Margaret looked at each other, "well" she said "how about September 5th, the first time we eerr..well..uh...in that hut?"
Daniel smiled, "Its OK Margaret, you can say 'sex' in front of your future father-in-law"
"Well...ok then" said Margaret, "I guess we have some planning to do" she gave Hawk a kiss and dashed off upstairs.
"I already know you're here, so there's no need to sneak down here, I don't care what you get up to as long as you're finished by the time I get home" said Daniel, spying Hawkeye and Margaret out the corner of his eye.
They came down into the kitchen as Daniel began to put the groceries away.
"So..." he quizzed, opening the fridge "what did you kids get up to while I was gone?"
Margaret and Hawk looked at each other, "Oh nothing!" said Hawk with a big grin, "just decide to get married, take out the trash, the usual"
Daniel shut the fridge "really?" asked, half shocked, half jokingly "well, that's terrific news, so...just when do you plan on having this wedding?"
Hawkeye and Margaret looked at each other, "well" she said "how about September 5th, the first time we eerr..well..uh...in that hut?"
Daniel smiled, "Its OK Margaret, you can say 'sex' in front of your future father-in-law"
"Well...ok then" said Margaret, "I guess we have some planning to do" she gave Hawk a kiss and dashed off upstairs.
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WINCHESTER ESTATE, BOSTON, MASS: AUGUST 29, 1953.
Charles, his parents, Edna and Honoria along with Chea Groovara the wedding planner were busy err...planning the wedding.
"You know" said the Charles the second, "I think it'd be great to have the wedding on the Cape, with the finest socialites in attendance, it'll be the event of season!"
Charles and Edna looked up "yes" he said "I think that is a splendid idea"
"it sure will" replied Edna "we'll be the talk of Boston...again!"
Everyone chuckled.
"You know" said the Charles the second, "I think it'd be great to have the wedding on the Cape, with the finest socialites in attendance, it'll be the event of season!"
Charles and Edna looked up "yes" he said "I think that is a splendid idea"
"it sure will" replied Edna "we'll be the talk of Boston...again!"
Everyone chuckled.
Charlie's was more associated with a slight hint of nervousness. He wasn't sure if this was the totally right idea, but he reassured himself that it was, after all, he was Charles Emmerson Winchester III.
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HOME OF FRANK AND LOUISE BURNS, FORT WAYNE, IND: AUGUST 29, 1953.
"Mail!" yelled Louise Burns; Frank was in the den writing his memoirs on the war to donate to his med school library.
Frank got up and came into the kitchen to get his mail, "hmmm" he mussed, picking up one piece "it is from 'the Pierces, Crabapple Cove, Maine' now why would they write to me?"
Louise looked at him "I don't know why don't you open it and find out".
With that, Frank promptly opened it and began to read. "I don't believe it, no, it can't be happening" he exclaimed,
"What is it?" asked Louise, looking over her husbands shoulder "why it's a wedding invitation"
Frank began to splutter and seize up, babbling incoherently "PIERCE! ....Pier....Peer....ooe... married....Houlih..Marg...noo..ggg.bb.b..g"
His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor.
Frank got up and came into the kitchen to get his mail, "hmmm" he mussed, picking up one piece "it is from 'the Pierces, Crabapple Cove, Maine' now why would they write to me?"
Louise looked at him "I don't know why don't you open it and find out".
With that, Frank promptly opened it and began to read. "I don't believe it, no, it can't be happening" he exclaimed,
"What is it?" asked Louise, looking over her husbands shoulder "why it's a wedding invitation"
Frank began to splutter and seize up, babbling incoherently "PIERCE! ....Pier....Peer....ooe... married....Houlih..Marg...noo..ggg.bb.b..g"
His eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor.
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POTTER RESIDENCE, HANNIBAL, MISSOURI: SEPTEMBER 1953.
Ol' Doc Potter trudged out to the mailbox, it was raining and the ground was all muddy. "Ah! Beaver biscuits" he exclaimed, stepping in a big puddle but two steps from the mailbox.
He opened it and pulled a thick stack of mail out, "Bill, bill, JAMA, bill, letter from Radar, wedding invitation from Pierce and Margaret, bill, birthday card.."
"Great Caesars Ghost!" he yelled "Pierce marrying Houlihan, holy hemostat!"
Sherm dashed off inside to open it.
"Well..." said Mildred, pouring him a cup coffee "I think it's wonderful that something nice can come out of a war"
He opened it and pulled a thick stack of mail out, "Bill, bill, JAMA, bill, letter from Radar, wedding invitation from Pierce and Margaret, bill, birthday card.."
"Great Caesars Ghost!" he yelled "Pierce marrying Houlihan, holy hemostat!"
Sherm dashed off inside to open it.
"Well..." said Mildred, pouring him a cup coffee "I think it's wonderful that something nice can come out of a war"
Sherman thought if was odd, that two people he could have sworn were at complete opposite ends of the scale could have loved each other, to him it made no sense – but he was happy/