A/N: ok! So I didn't get another chapter up the other day! So I'm a great big liar! I'm sorry :: runs away crying ::

DISCLAIMER: I OWN STAR WARS! IT IS MINE! ALL MINE! :: Hears a gun click, 7 tall guys in suits with shades have blasters pointed at Jerra Jade's head :: *chuckle* did I say own? Ha ha heh…I mean NOT own star wars…uh…. yeah…that's what I meant….

~Out of the Darkness~

Chapter 5: Bearing it

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Mission

            I decided to try and take Carth on at a game of pazzak; I figure he drank more than me last night, so I should have some advantage over him today.  We started to play, but Carth's game was totally off! I kept noticing how he kept making really stupid moves, and how he seemed…distant, like he wasn't even there, like he was just laying down random cards, not really caring how the game was going to turn out.  He seemed…troubled.

            "What's wrong Carth?"

            "Nothing…just a bad hangover is all…"

            "Carth, I've seen you play Pazzak, heck, I've played pazzak with you who knows how may times, and you have never been this bad, Carth, never.  You're stinking up the game, Carth, stinking it up like bantha poo doo."

            "It's nothing, really…." he mumbled, and set down his next card.  I glared at him.

            "It's just my promotion…getting reassigned-what if I get to command my own ship?  What if I get a new crew?"

            "Well, that'd be cool.  You'd get a lot of people to do your dirty work.  You, know, you'd get to boss people around and stuff…"

            "It's not that simple Mission," he said, slamming his deck on the table, "what us u never get to see you guys again?"

            I smirked. I figured it out.  I may be the youngest one on board the Hawk, but I certainly wasn't an idiot.  It was so obvious.  Carth is no Jedi; he's never been any good at hiding his emotions-well, for the most part.

            "I don't think your worried about us as much Carth…."

            "What? Of course I am!"

            "So mush as that you're worried about a young woman I know…"

            "Mission, what are you…"

            "With dark eyes…"

            "If you don't stop right now…"

            "Dark hair, a Jedi…"

            "I'm not kidding, Mission, she could hear you, and…"

            "Who just happens to be commanding this very ship."

            Carth's face was now redder than HK-47.  And with the look on his face, probably the same likelihood of going on a killing spree.  He was looking frustrated, and maybe even a little angry.  I was getting a little nervous, perhaps it'd be a better approach to try and be a little more serious.

            "Carth, that little speech you gave on the beach was fine and all, really, no doubt you could have won some kinda holovid award and all, but at the time, I highly doubt it would have registered, not that it would make sense to. I mean, you've hardly backed up your words.  For all she could know, you could have meant a 'family' kinda love-you know, like what we have." I said with a sympathetic smile.

            "I know, I know, it's just so hard to find a time to talk about it…"

            "Carth, we reach Telos in two days, I don't expect that it's gonna take much longer to get to Corisaunt.  You're running out of time, old man."

            Carth dropped his head, "I know, I know…"

            Poor Carth.  I sure hope it all works out, I really do.  Carth is a great man, and he's been through a lot-he can sorta relate to what I've been through. Telos was one of the first planets the Sith bombed-his home world. We stacked our cards back into our decks, and settled on a draw. I smile.  I'm exited about getting to Telos-it will be the first time we've stopped on a planet in months where we don't have to worry about saving the day, or star maps.  It's a relief, really, to never have to deal with another one of those stupid things ever again. 

            Carth smiles. "No sign of her yet-I guess I'll just have to go so something until she gets up."

            I laugh, "you know how she is in the morning, Carth, it a wonder she ever gets up."

            Carth slowly gets up, and heads toward the communication deck.  Probably going to go and send a holo to his son, Dustil.  Wonder what it'll be this time.  I have to admit, I like to splice the system and hack into other people's messages-its funny to know what's going on in everyone's lives.  It's a real kick to look up on the Onasi's. Sure, Dustil Onasi's the biggest jerk I've ever met, and he has his head shoved up a bantha's butt so far that I don't' know where one begins and the other ends, but lets face it, Carth's genetics did him well.  He's a pretty good-looking guy, even for Sith-scum.  I suppose there's some way we can get work out of him; he's got to have some skill.  

            I hear a door slide open-and out stumbles our respected leader-looking like pure hell.  Her hair sticks strait up on one side, and there is an imprint of "Jerry the cuddly ewok doll" on her face from where she apparently slept on it.  Her eyes were half open, and she seemed to look out into a fog, as if the flickering lights of the Ebon Hawk were casing a searing pain to her corneas. 'Hmm, she really doesn't do mornings dose she?" Mission silently though. 'Jerry the cuddly ewok?' Mission shuddered, "just another thing to chalk up one the  "possible reasons Revan went bad board".'

            "Hey Revan…you just look…. great…just…great this morning…"

            She glared at me-well; at least I think she glared at me, as much as I could tell with her eyes hardly open. "Shut you face, Mission, I had a rough night…. at least…. I think I did…"she said, rubbing her temples. "God, I need a shower- I guess I'll just go and hit the 'fresher."

            "Yeah…you do that"

            "Bite me, Mission."

            "Tell that to 'Jerry the cuddly ewok!" A bar of soap came flying at my head. 'I hate force powers,' I thought to myself.

            I laughed hard as she disappeared into the corridor.  Good thing the rest of the crew hadn't seen her like that, or we might have had a mutiny.  I stuff the pazzak cards in my pocket. And lean up against the cold metal walls of the Ebon Hawk, and let out a long, deep breath.  I sure hope they don't try and separate us, I don't know where id go.  I sure don't want to get stuck with Griff; I've covered for him more times that a person should in twelve lifetimes.  I don't really wanna go back with Zallbar-I think that many wookies would be too much for even me.  I suppose I would either go with Carth or Revan-if we did get separated, no doubt that would be how they would split us-the republic wants Carth, and the Jedi want Revan. I guess they'd each take their share of  'saviors of the galaxy'.  I guess I'm hoping against hope that we do manage to stay together.  I mean, these people are like my family!  If they broke us apart, I don't know how I could bear it.

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:: Tries to shout over being tied up by Lucas arts agents::  thanks again arrow maker for the review!