A/N- 1st thanks for those of you who review
2nd There are some flashbacks of Beka's but this still all takes place right after Harper comes aboard
3rd this is all from Beka's point of view and I do use some swearing and vulgar slang w/ both characters (sorry locker rooms and warships are not know for polite langue)
4th it is 3:30am and I am finishing this up because it has been sitting on my computer for a week bugging the hell out of me. I promise I will edit it later so you can understand it. Last time I typed when I was tired I told my friend "no pysch time, me sleep day" I think I meant to say 'no time for psych today I am sleeping in.'
~~~*~~~
Dysfunctional people are prepared for anything. Hey, once you've driven your drunk father to Mom's parole hearing, what else is there? –Titus (fox.com)
~~~*~~~
I was skipping down the hallway. Me and Rafe had been playing all day in the main room and it was time for dinner. Rafe had cooked I had set the table and now I was going to get dad.
"Daddy, time for dinner," I skipped up to his door and knocked. He didn't answer so I entered. "RAFE!" I screamed, turning and running for my brother. Tears flowed down my five year old face. My father was lying so still on the bed I knew he had to be dead.
~~
I shook my head trying to come back to reality. My father had passed out on the bed high from flash. I didn't know that at the time. Rafe just told me 'Daddy was sick' and 'he needed to rest and would get better.' I believe him then. Well I always believed Rafe, even when I knew what he was saying was lies to protect me. The still form of Harper bore a striking similarity to the pass out form of my father those many years ago. Both lying so still and barely breathing.
My legs were shaking as I walked up to Harper. I was breathing so fast I knew I would soon hyperventilate. It would do neither of us any good if I passed out on the deck. In, out, in, out I repeated in my head slowing my breathing. Considerate on the situation, considerate on Harper, don't think about the past, think about now.
I somehow made it to the still form of Harper and knelt down. He was shit faced. I sniffed for liquor but smelled none. I shifted placing his head in my lap. I didn't even think about it, it was the habit of checking out my dad all those times I found him passed out… Don't think about that I reminded my self, turning my mind back to Harper. I lifted up his eyelids, no telltale white marks of flash. I rolled up his sleeves looking for track marks. I even looked between his fingers. I thought about taking off his boots and checking between his toes but I don't think he would have gone to that much trouble to hide his habit from me. I sat with his head in my lap debating my next action. What was wrong with this kid?
Harper moaned and moved his head. "Come on kid, wake-up"
"Don't call me kid." I let out a sigh of relief. He was up and knew what was going on.
"Fine Harper, what did you take?"
"Take?" He asked coughing the word out.
"You know what I mean, flash, meth, heroin, booze," His eyes got real big and he tried to push himself off the floor but fell back into my lap.
"Nothing Boss, I don't do that stuff. What kind of a junkie do you take me for? Just because I am from earth does not mean I shoot up. Do you think I would have made it this far doing that shit? I…" but Harper was interrupted by a fit of coughing. He had started talking in his normal voice just a little horse but had worked his way up to a yelling, ranting almost. It seemed too much for his body to handle as the coughs racked his entire body.
My thoughts were interrupted as he cried out "gone spew." I got his meaning just in time to roll him over, away from me. He then proceeded to empty his guts all over my deck. This was part of living with my dad that I was defiantly not missing. He finished with another coughing fit and then rolled back again resting on my legs.
"Sorry Boss"
"Yea well you are going to be even sorrier when I figure out what you are on."
"Fuck you, I haven't taken anything."
"Why would I believe you mudfoot?"
"Because I am a mudfoot, because I know how messed up it makes you. Makes you stupid, makes you dead." With that he closed his eyes and took a breath. Thinking over his next thought, "you think you could help me to my bunk, I'll clean this up in the morning. I just can't right now."
I lifted the mudfoot to his feet and started walking toward the crew quarters taking most of his weight. He was hot and sweating profusely. I could feel him shaking as I carried him to the quarters and placed him in his bunk. As soon as he was there he grabbed the garbage can and again emptied his stomach. He took his head out of the container only to grab his stomach, moan and run straight for the bathroom. It was going to be a long night. I sat on the edge of his bunk waiting for him to come out. It was almost 15 minutes before Harper came out of the bathroom. His face a shade of green and he was standing hunched over his stomach. He landed on the bed in a heap and curled up into a ball, whimpering, moaning, and clearly trying not to show how miserable he was.
"What was?"
"Boss, how many times do I have to tell you…"
"I haven't taken anything, yea yea I have heard you Harper, but why then are you so sick."
"If I knew I would tell you, but first I have to go to the bathroom again." With that he left me and ran towards the bathroom. After listening to him dry heave for a few minutes I got up and stood just outside the door of the bathroom. "It's not drugs Boss, hell the only drug I have taken is whatever is in Sparky Cola." I had to smile the mudfoot drank that stuff down like no other. Not even Rafe was so fond of the sweet drink. I shook the memories of my brother out of my head. I had other things to deal with, mainly a sick crew member. What was I going to do with Harper? I wanted to believe that he hadn't taken anything but experience told me that what people said and did was often the opposite.
~~~
I put the shirt over my head still warm from the dryer. I stood there enjoying the warmth of the shirt. It felt good against my tired muscles. Harper was finally starting to feel better. He had spent the last two days 'praying to the porcelain god' as Rafe use to say. I heard the muffled footsteps of the mudfoot coming down the hallway into the main room. I came out of corner that had the clothes washer and dryer in. "How you feeling kid."
"Don't call me kid," he grumbled back. He pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. He put his head in his hands trying to catch his breath. The short trip down the hall had completely wiped him.
"Think you could keep some soup down or you want to stick plain ration bars."
"Soup, I think eating another one of those this will make me yak again. They have no flavor; it's like eating dirt only worst."
"They're not that bad."
"No I've eaten dirt, they're worst." Somehow I didn't doubt his words. I had never known one of my father's hangovers to last this long or for him to take this long to confess to having taken something to get high. Flashes of my childhood entered my mind.
Dad standing over the biological waste disposal unit having just gotten up from emptying his stomach. "That's it rocket I am never taking that again." He said as he released the contents into space. "I'm staying clean the come down is too hard."
Too hard to stay sober long, too hard to stay with me and fight the addiction, so hard he decide he had to go pick a fight and get killed. The injury may have happen years ago but it still ached when the weather changed. The right stimulus always sent tears to my eyes.
"Boss, Boss, you there?" The mudfoot's voice broke through my memories. I turned to get some food out of the cooler and quickly wiped the tears forming in my eyes. That mudfoot would never see me cry. Never see me be weak. I was never weak. Never around a crew member, especially a worthless mudfoot.
~~~*~~~
"Hey boss" I jumped as I heard Harper's voice coming from one of the ducts.
"Don't scare me like that."
"Sorry didn't mean to."
"That's ok and be careful up there."
"Yea, yea I know."
"Well I don't want anything to happen to my only engineer."
~~~*~~~
Trust. That funny little five letter word that people use to let you know that they accept you. It's funny how hard it is to give trust, but how easy it is to snatch it away.
(I honest don't remember where I got this quote from)
sorry it's so short… more and longer after I get done editing 6 english paper… sorry