Hey you guys! Yo what's up! I'm back with anther chapter and apparently
horror's not as popular as I thought! Or maybe I just suck at this! ^_^
Anywho, this has some comic relief in it, so I hope that you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I, at no point, have ever said that I own Cowboy Bebop...ok so maybe I have! Tequila was involved, get off me! ^_^ Sorry, Blue Collar Comedy Tour!
Back on the Bebop, Spike was lying on the couch, his head surrounded by the usual cloud of smoke. He had a smug look on his face for a reason that was obvious if you took a look around the room. There was stack after stack of pink and red envelopes containing Valentines and the place reeked of perfume from the scented cards. Every now and then, Jet or Faye would come in to complain about the smell, but Spike ignored them. He was far too content basking in the glow of his own popularity to do anything else. "Hey Spike, you vain bastard, are you ever going to do any work around here?" Jet yelled as he walked into the ship's living room. "You think that just because you got fan mail that you're above us?"
"Hey, vanity has its perks!" Spike said, flashing a million-dollar smile. "Plus, listen to this!" Spike picked up a small pink envelope from the pile and read aloud ..
"Dear Mr. Spiegel,
I love you so much! You're so brave and so handsome! Why did you ever become a bounty hunter?! You could've had a career in modeling! Bounty hunting is such dangerous work and you could ruin your face or even die! I hear that you live on a ship with two other bounty hunters, don't let them push you around! You're above them! You caught that big bounty all by your self and," umm, I'll skip over that part, "signed your future wife, Betty 'Big Bertha' Stallone", see? It says right there that I'm above you! So ha!"
"What was that part that you skipped over?" Jet asked crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.
"Oh, it was nothing..." Spike said hastily trying to stuff the letter back in its envelope. However, Jet was too fast and grabbed the envelope. He took out the letter and skimmed down the lines, looking for that part that Spike had skipped over.
".. 'I was wondering if you would have your children with me and my friends'?!" Jet said with a look of disgust. "Please say that you're not considering this! That's just gross! Oh yah, and if you reply to this be sure to tell the lady how Faye and I chased the guy for five hours and tired him out, causing extensive damage to the Hammerhead while doing it, and all that you did was punch him in the face!"
"I personally think that that proves the power of one of my punches, I'm stronger then I look," Spike gloated putting his hands behind his head.
"Just keep thinking that Spike," Jet said smiling and shaking his head.
"I will thanks!" Spike said glancing over at Jet. The door on the landing above the couch opened and in walked Faye, wearing her ever revealing outfit of gold. She was carrying a medium sized red box that she had to hold with two hands. As soon as she walked in, the scent of Spike's valentines was wiped out and replaced with the horrible stench of decay. Faye was holding the box away from her at arms length, her nose wrinkled up and she looked like she was going to barf. Spike and Jet held their noses tight, but the smell seemed to encase them like a blanket. They began gagging and coughing. Spike eventually managed to say, "Is that smell you or the box?" Faye shook the box indicating that it came from there, afraid to open her mouth.
"Well then get it out of here!" Jet yelled, the consequence of his action, going into a raging coughing fit. Faye, still refusing to open her mouth shook the box again, un-meaningly increasing the smell, and then tilted her head towards Spike, making 'hmmm' noises, indicating that the package was for Spike. Jet, having gotten over his coughing fit and like everyone else tiring of the smell, cupped his hands over his mouth and took a deep breath in. He took his hands away from his mouth and ran over to Faye, took the box, threw it out into a hallway, and closed the connecting door. Everyone began fanning the air around them, and eventually the air became breathable, though it still stank.
"Why did you bring that thing in here?!" Jet screamed at Faye, fanning the air in front of his face.
"I told you, well, more like motioned to you that the package was for Spike," Faye said.
"Who gave it to you? How did you know that it was for me?" Spike asked, keeping his face as straight as he could.
"More importantly, why did you even bring it here if it stunk so much?" Jet added in.
"It didn't start reeking like that until I brought it on the ship!" Faye stated defensively.
"Would you mind explaining yourself Faye?" Spike asked, sitting up and putting his elbows on his knees.
"Ok, I guess that I'll start from the beginning," Faye said. "Well, it all started when I was at the track, I had ten thousand woolongs on a horse that was a sure win, but with my luck of course, he came in last place."
"Is any of this relevant?" Jet asked. "Get on with it!"
"Alright, alright," Faye said. "So anyway, I came out into the parking lot and there's this guy with brown hair and a trench coat kinda poking around the Red Tail carrying a package. He had this pretty desperate look in his eyes and I thought that maybe he was trying to steal it or something, so I yelled over to him. He looked over at me with this half crazed/ half worried look on his face, sets the package sown, and then runs off. So anyway, I ran after the guy out of the parking lot, but he leaps into a cab. So then I go back to the Red Tail and look over the package, and .."
"Weren't you afraid that it was a bomb or something?!" Jet interrupted.
"I didn't see how it could be a bomb; it was wrapped in sparkly paper with little hearts!" Faye returned putting her hands on her hips.
"You just ripped it open without even thinking about it, didn't you," Spike said with a smirk. "Even though it was for me."
"Well, the first part is true, but I didn't even know that it was for you until I took off the paper," Faye said glancing downward. "There was a card underneath, taped to the box. So, I figured that I shouldn't open it,"
"For once."
"Cause I know how huffy you get about these things Spike!" Faye said. "I packed it up into the Red Tail and brought it back here. While I was bringing it back, it started to smell a bit funky, but I figured maybe the guy had made you something Spike. Like a Valentine's Day fruitcake, pun intended.
"Very funny, you should have been a comedian Faye." Spike said.
"Yah well anyway, I brought it onto the ship and by that time the smell really started to pick up," Faye said. "I'm guessing that the wrapping acted as some kind of insulation. I'm pretty sure that there's something rotten in that package. I started running to get it to you quick, but the smell just got worse. Then you know the rest. SO, what do you think is in that box?"
"You said that there was a note on that box right?" Spike asked. "Hand it over, maybe it'll tell us what's in there."
"Oh right," Faye said. She began digging franticly in the red jacket that she always carried around.
"You do still have it, don't you?" Spike asked. His tone suggested that he knew Faye had lost it.
"I know that I had it around here somewhere," Faye said getting frustrated. "I could have sworn that I put it in one of these pockets, where the fuck is it?!"
"Well, so ends another episode of wasting time with Faye," Jet said with a bit of a laugh.
(Transfer interrupted! ^_^ I got that Jet quote from "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie. Just be glad that I don't have them break into a startling rendition of "Ask DNA"!)
"Ah-HA! Here it is!" Faye cried triumphantly, pulling an envelope out of her shirt between her breasts. "I KNEW that I had it around here somewhere! Here you go Spike."
Faye handed over the envelope and Spike took it with his thumb and pointer finger. He gave Faye a look of disgust and she gave him a 'what did I do?!' look. After a few minutes of shaking the envelope and wiping it on the table, Spike finally opened it. Inside was a big pink card with what appeared to be a finger-painted heart on the front and center of the card. The 'paint' was a very deep red and it smelled odd. Spike had a hunch of what it was, but he hoped that he was wrong. "Is that..blood?" Faye asked, leaning over Spike's shoulder.
"I frankly don't wanna know," Spike said, picking at the heart with his fingernail.
"Why don't you just open it already?!" Jet yelled, felling overly-curious and frustrated.
"Alright," Spike said. He carefully opened up the letter. Inside there was a poem, written in red ink. It read:
"Roses are read, violets are blue,
I hear that you hate tomboys, so I killed one for you.
She ran 'til she shook but I did what it took,
To rid space of one of your annoyances."
It was signed "Your valentine, Obsession". Spike didn't want to know what was in the box anymore. However, Jet seemed to want to know more then ever. He ran off and was back in a few minutes with three gas masks. When everyone had theirs secure, Jet opened the door and brought in the box. Spike pointed ot himself and then to the box, asking if he should open it. Jet and Faye nodded in unison. Spike shrugged his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. He leaned forward and pulled the lod off the box. Inside there was a woman's head with her heart shoved in her mouth. Written across her forehead in red was "Be my Valentine!"
Spike slammed the lid back on the box and ran out of the room, Jet and Faye at his heels. They ran into the control room and threw off their masks. Spike had his hand over his mouth out of shock or nausea, maybe both. Faye as shaking slightly and Jet was rubbing his temples.
"This is bad," he said. "That was from Obsession, the murdering stalker with fifty million on his head."
Oooooo! Maybe a cliffhanger! Maybe? No? Whatever. Hope you enjoyed, next chappie up soon! ^_^
Disclaimer: I, at no point, have ever said that I own Cowboy Bebop...ok so maybe I have! Tequila was involved, get off me! ^_^ Sorry, Blue Collar Comedy Tour!
Back on the Bebop, Spike was lying on the couch, his head surrounded by the usual cloud of smoke. He had a smug look on his face for a reason that was obvious if you took a look around the room. There was stack after stack of pink and red envelopes containing Valentines and the place reeked of perfume from the scented cards. Every now and then, Jet or Faye would come in to complain about the smell, but Spike ignored them. He was far too content basking in the glow of his own popularity to do anything else. "Hey Spike, you vain bastard, are you ever going to do any work around here?" Jet yelled as he walked into the ship's living room. "You think that just because you got fan mail that you're above us?"
"Hey, vanity has its perks!" Spike said, flashing a million-dollar smile. "Plus, listen to this!" Spike picked up a small pink envelope from the pile and read aloud ..
"Dear Mr. Spiegel,
I love you so much! You're so brave and so handsome! Why did you ever become a bounty hunter?! You could've had a career in modeling! Bounty hunting is such dangerous work and you could ruin your face or even die! I hear that you live on a ship with two other bounty hunters, don't let them push you around! You're above them! You caught that big bounty all by your self and," umm, I'll skip over that part, "signed your future wife, Betty 'Big Bertha' Stallone", see? It says right there that I'm above you! So ha!"
"What was that part that you skipped over?" Jet asked crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.
"Oh, it was nothing..." Spike said hastily trying to stuff the letter back in its envelope. However, Jet was too fast and grabbed the envelope. He took out the letter and skimmed down the lines, looking for that part that Spike had skipped over.
".. 'I was wondering if you would have your children with me and my friends'?!" Jet said with a look of disgust. "Please say that you're not considering this! That's just gross! Oh yah, and if you reply to this be sure to tell the lady how Faye and I chased the guy for five hours and tired him out, causing extensive damage to the Hammerhead while doing it, and all that you did was punch him in the face!"
"I personally think that that proves the power of one of my punches, I'm stronger then I look," Spike gloated putting his hands behind his head.
"Just keep thinking that Spike," Jet said smiling and shaking his head.
"I will thanks!" Spike said glancing over at Jet. The door on the landing above the couch opened and in walked Faye, wearing her ever revealing outfit of gold. She was carrying a medium sized red box that she had to hold with two hands. As soon as she walked in, the scent of Spike's valentines was wiped out and replaced with the horrible stench of decay. Faye was holding the box away from her at arms length, her nose wrinkled up and she looked like she was going to barf. Spike and Jet held their noses tight, but the smell seemed to encase them like a blanket. They began gagging and coughing. Spike eventually managed to say, "Is that smell you or the box?" Faye shook the box indicating that it came from there, afraid to open her mouth.
"Well then get it out of here!" Jet yelled, the consequence of his action, going into a raging coughing fit. Faye, still refusing to open her mouth shook the box again, un-meaningly increasing the smell, and then tilted her head towards Spike, making 'hmmm' noises, indicating that the package was for Spike. Jet, having gotten over his coughing fit and like everyone else tiring of the smell, cupped his hands over his mouth and took a deep breath in. He took his hands away from his mouth and ran over to Faye, took the box, threw it out into a hallway, and closed the connecting door. Everyone began fanning the air around them, and eventually the air became breathable, though it still stank.
"Why did you bring that thing in here?!" Jet screamed at Faye, fanning the air in front of his face.
"I told you, well, more like motioned to you that the package was for Spike," Faye said.
"Who gave it to you? How did you know that it was for me?" Spike asked, keeping his face as straight as he could.
"More importantly, why did you even bring it here if it stunk so much?" Jet added in.
"It didn't start reeking like that until I brought it on the ship!" Faye stated defensively.
"Would you mind explaining yourself Faye?" Spike asked, sitting up and putting his elbows on his knees.
"Ok, I guess that I'll start from the beginning," Faye said. "Well, it all started when I was at the track, I had ten thousand woolongs on a horse that was a sure win, but with my luck of course, he came in last place."
"Is any of this relevant?" Jet asked. "Get on with it!"
"Alright, alright," Faye said. "So anyway, I came out into the parking lot and there's this guy with brown hair and a trench coat kinda poking around the Red Tail carrying a package. He had this pretty desperate look in his eyes and I thought that maybe he was trying to steal it or something, so I yelled over to him. He looked over at me with this half crazed/ half worried look on his face, sets the package sown, and then runs off. So anyway, I ran after the guy out of the parking lot, but he leaps into a cab. So then I go back to the Red Tail and look over the package, and .."
"Weren't you afraid that it was a bomb or something?!" Jet interrupted.
"I didn't see how it could be a bomb; it was wrapped in sparkly paper with little hearts!" Faye returned putting her hands on her hips.
"You just ripped it open without even thinking about it, didn't you," Spike said with a smirk. "Even though it was for me."
"Well, the first part is true, but I didn't even know that it was for you until I took off the paper," Faye said glancing downward. "There was a card underneath, taped to the box. So, I figured that I shouldn't open it,"
"For once."
"Cause I know how huffy you get about these things Spike!" Faye said. "I packed it up into the Red Tail and brought it back here. While I was bringing it back, it started to smell a bit funky, but I figured maybe the guy had made you something Spike. Like a Valentine's Day fruitcake, pun intended.
"Very funny, you should have been a comedian Faye." Spike said.
"Yah well anyway, I brought it onto the ship and by that time the smell really started to pick up," Faye said. "I'm guessing that the wrapping acted as some kind of insulation. I'm pretty sure that there's something rotten in that package. I started running to get it to you quick, but the smell just got worse. Then you know the rest. SO, what do you think is in that box?"
"You said that there was a note on that box right?" Spike asked. "Hand it over, maybe it'll tell us what's in there."
"Oh right," Faye said. She began digging franticly in the red jacket that she always carried around.
"You do still have it, don't you?" Spike asked. His tone suggested that he knew Faye had lost it.
"I know that I had it around here somewhere," Faye said getting frustrated. "I could have sworn that I put it in one of these pockets, where the fuck is it?!"
"Well, so ends another episode of wasting time with Faye," Jet said with a bit of a laugh.
(Transfer interrupted! ^_^ I got that Jet quote from "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie. Just be glad that I don't have them break into a startling rendition of "Ask DNA"!)
"Ah-HA! Here it is!" Faye cried triumphantly, pulling an envelope out of her shirt between her breasts. "I KNEW that I had it around here somewhere! Here you go Spike."
Faye handed over the envelope and Spike took it with his thumb and pointer finger. He gave Faye a look of disgust and she gave him a 'what did I do?!' look. After a few minutes of shaking the envelope and wiping it on the table, Spike finally opened it. Inside was a big pink card with what appeared to be a finger-painted heart on the front and center of the card. The 'paint' was a very deep red and it smelled odd. Spike had a hunch of what it was, but he hoped that he was wrong. "Is that..blood?" Faye asked, leaning over Spike's shoulder.
"I frankly don't wanna know," Spike said, picking at the heart with his fingernail.
"Why don't you just open it already?!" Jet yelled, felling overly-curious and frustrated.
"Alright," Spike said. He carefully opened up the letter. Inside there was a poem, written in red ink. It read:
"Roses are read, violets are blue,
I hear that you hate tomboys, so I killed one for you.
She ran 'til she shook but I did what it took,
To rid space of one of your annoyances."
It was signed "Your valentine, Obsession". Spike didn't want to know what was in the box anymore. However, Jet seemed to want to know more then ever. He ran off and was back in a few minutes with three gas masks. When everyone had theirs secure, Jet opened the door and brought in the box. Spike pointed ot himself and then to the box, asking if he should open it. Jet and Faye nodded in unison. Spike shrugged his shoulders and cracked his knuckles. He leaned forward and pulled the lod off the box. Inside there was a woman's head with her heart shoved in her mouth. Written across her forehead in red was "Be my Valentine!"
Spike slammed the lid back on the box and ran out of the room, Jet and Faye at his heels. They ran into the control room and threw off their masks. Spike had his hand over his mouth out of shock or nausea, maybe both. Faye as shaking slightly and Jet was rubbing his temples.
"This is bad," he said. "That was from Obsession, the murdering stalker with fifty million on his head."
Oooooo! Maybe a cliffhanger! Maybe? No? Whatever. Hope you enjoyed, next chappie up soon! ^_^