A/N- sorry this took so long. I got home fri and got the computer set-up tonight, Tues. Half of this was written while I was still at school and stressing over finals and the rest is here at home trying to find a job and not drive the parents up the walls (really I didn't mean to miss dinner three days in a row). But I am totally happy right now, I get to go to Peru this summer, only have to find $1000.
About the story this is totally AU because I don't think this is the order characters joined the Maru and I don't think this character came aboard this early on, but well they demanded to be written in here.
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When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt
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I sat on the deck watching my blood drain out of my body. I don't know how long I sat there, watching myself dying. I do remember thinking I had never seen that much blood come out of one person. The blood seemed to be everywhere. How did one cut bleed that much.
All I do remember was Harper crawling out of his room and putting his hands on my side. I think he was swearing a rosary at the time but it's all foggy. He took off his shirt, already covered in his blood from Tim's earlier beating and pressing it on to my side. The pain when he did this was intense. I bucked against the pain but he stayed put pressing down around the knife that was still in me.
I reached down to pull it out but he stopped me, "Trust me boss, it's better if it stays put." He said in a defeated voice. I could see from his action this was not his first time dealing with a friend bleeding to death from a knife wound. "I am going for help, don't go anywhere." I wanted to yell back I would fight the urge to get up and do a jig but I couldn't get the air. He patted my shoulder and he got up slowly got up showing his earlier injuries as he walked down the hallway hand to his ribs and dragging his foot. He turned back to me, leaning up against the bulkhead already out of breath.
When he had his breath back enough he said with a smile "Oh and while you are resisting the urge to do a jig, stay awake." I gave him as much as a smile as I could mange. I tired to stay awake, I knew if I closed my eyes it could be the last time. I couldn't though my eyelids where so heavy there was no way I could stay awake till he got back. I don't remember much of the next few days.
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The first thought that entered my head when I woke up was that I should be in more pain. I had never been knifed before but I knew that it should hurt. I should feel like I was just hit by a speeding transport but I didn't. I opened my eyes, the light burned, but then I saw a flash of purple and the light faded down again.
"You're awake boss," I heard Harper's horse voice say. I turned to look at him. My eyes still hurt and my head was heavy but I didn't feel like I had been knifed and left to die. "Nice to see you back among the living."
I found myself staring at the mudfoot who had saved my life. His face was still swollen from Tim's fist and I could see the bags under his eyes. "Come on Harper, she's awake, why don't you go to bed." I heard a female voice say. I didn't recognize the voice but I knew it must have been the help Harper had gone and found.
"I'm fine, I want to stay and talk to Beka."
"Harper, I'm fine, go get some rest you look like hell." I managed to get out, my voice was hoarser than Harper's, and I wondered how long I had been out of it. Long enough to get a new crew member it looked like. Whoever the new girl was she knew her stuff, she had managed to patch up both me and Harper, well I was assuming she patched up Harper. Where had he found her? Harper could barely stand, yet he had found the energy to hire someone to help me, the kid was full of surprises.
"Really I'm fine…" Harper's words where cut off by a coughing fit. One hand covered his mouth and the other went around his ribs. When the fit ended he rubbed his side with a grimace. Tim must have done a number on his ribs too.
"That's it kid, you are going to bed" I managed to say, trying to sound commanding. He just nodded as he was hit by another coughing fit.
"Really boss its worst than it sounds."
"Well it sounds pretty bad." Looking at Harper again I could see how worn out he was. He was slumped in a chair by my bed. His eyes were half closed; his forhead was covered in sweat and general he looked like crap. He still wore the evidence of Tim's beating and it looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.
"Come on, you go rest, and so can Beka. You're both going to be fine." Again the soft female voice said. She was still out of my range of vision I was so busy concentrating on Harper.
"So you going to listen to us Harper or do I have to drag your sorry ass off to bed," I said. I could barely hold in the laugh. The knife wound dragging the beaten off to bed. For my next trick…
"I'm going, women." With that Harper slowly got up and I followed him with my eyes as he walked out of the room. About halfway out of my room he lost his balance and started to fall but a purple figure caught him before he fell. I had to wipe my eyes at that point. Purple, our savior was purple? Growing up going from space colony to colony I got use to creatures of all different colors, shapes, and textures. But it still surprised me to see new combinations. As she walked out the door supporting Harper I got a new surprise. She had a tail.
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The decks were covered in blood. Someone had been hurt; I heard there screams but I couldn't find them. I ran down the hall the screams filled my head. I ran down the decks but I couldn't get passed the storage closets and into the main room. I slipped on the blood and found myself flat on my back.
The pain radiated through my whole body. I let out a scream before I could catch myself. The body of Tim was standing over me with a bloody knife in his hand. I chocked on the lump that was now forming in my throat.
As I tried backing away from him he began taunting me. "Weak women, couldn't save herself on her own ship, had to have a worthless mudfoot help her." I shook my head no as my back made contact with the bulkhead. All I could do was look at Tim as he sent his knife down to kill me.
I let out a scream as the form of Tim transferred into my father, "Rocket what have you done with my ship; I never should have trusted you with it. Should have let you rot on some station as a kid when your mom left you with me. She didn't want you why did I keep you? Why did I waste my time and money trying to teach a girl how to run a ship? You're weak rocket, you'll never be strong, and you're a girl." Tears flowed down my face. I felt my father take me by my shoulders and starting to shake me.
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"Boss, come on Beka wake up." I sat straight up. I heard a bump and saw Harper's wild hair peeking up from the edge of the bed. As he was picking himself off the floor. I shook the cobwebs out of my head. Rubbing his head Harper said with a smile "our first time in bed together and you kick me out." I let out a laugh. The imagines from my nightmare were still fresh in my head.
"So you going to ask me what it was about or are we both going to pretend that you just wandered into my room in the middle of the night to wake me up, land on the floor, and crack a bad joke?" I asked.
"You're the boss, Boss"
I found myself holding back another laugh. I let out a sigh. I wasn't ready to talk about this; I think Harper understood that though. He got up and gave me one last look. "See you in the morning, but no more thrashing around, you'll have a hell of a time explaining to Trance how you pulled out her stitches."
"So where did you find this Trance?" Harper ran his hand though his hair and sort of did a little dance where he stood.
"I didn't find her, she found me."
"She found you?" Harper shifted back and forth a little more.
"Honestly boss I don't remember much I was in pretty bad shape, I don't know how far I got in the station, I just remember her picking me up off the ground and taking me back to the Maru."
"You expect me to believe that."
"I don't expect you to believe it; I don't even believe it and I was there."
"So she is our blessed savior, who came out of nowhere."
"I guess so Boss."
"Ok while I think I need to sleep on this, you better get back to bed too, you look like shit."
"Gee thanks."
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I woke up in my childhood bedroom. I looked at the walls. Harper's posters of girls, starships and some unknown earth bands where gone. The pictures that had hung there during my childhood were back. I walked up and touched a family picture I had drawn when I was three, three blobs of color standing next to each other. The purple blob had a green one on top of it. It was my mom holding me. I wrapped my arms around my sides remembering how safe I felt in her arms. It was the safest place in the world; I was protected from all harm in my mother's arms.
As my figures brushed over the picture I heard my mother's laugh. "Mom?" I found myself asking. I looked around for my mom. "Over here Bek, I am waiting for you"
"Where Mommy? Where are you?"
"I am here munchkin."
"Where?"
"Open the door, I am waiting for you." I ran to the door and threw it open. I found myself staring into a black hole. I struggled with the door. I wouldn't close. I was fighting with the door and the more I fought the weaker I found myself. "Munchkin, come to me." I let go of the door and found myself being sucked into the black hole. I found myself screaming searching for r anything to hold onto. I grabbed at the door frame but I couldn't hold on. I was too weak. As I was being sucked in I started to cry. I brought my hands to my face; they were a child's hands. I was a child. I was back in my childhood. "Oh darling you could never even do the simplest tasks right." I heard my mom's voice.
"Mommy, mommy don't leave me."
"Oh honey I can't stay, Why would I stay behind for you."
"Mommy."
"Bye darling, I will never see you again, but then again I don't care."
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"MOM" I found myself sitting up in my bed.
"I thought I told you to watch out for those stitches."
"Harper I thought I told you to go to bed."
"So we both aren't obeying orders."
"You're my crew"
"Yeah but I always obey my own rules." I found myself settling back into bed. I debated walking Harper back to bed and watching him fall asleep. I even started to figure out how badly it would hurt to walk. "Don't think about it boss, I'll just pretend to sleep and come back here."
"You have a thing for watching me sleep?"
"Just here to make sure you don't rip out those stitches and has an ear. It works for more than just listening to you scream."
"I'm fine kid"
"I understand…" Harper was cut off by a round of coughing. A few months ago I asked him if he was allergic to the Maru. He was so sick, so often. Harper would work till he dropped, sleep for a few days and work till he dropped a month later. The moment he started looking sick I would give him less jobs but he always found something to tinker with. I guess it helped to keep busy, if the hands are busy so is the mind. Harper had a sharp mind. He didn't show what he had been through. How did he mange it. The coughing end but Harper remained quiet.
"You ok kid?"
"Fine" He croaked out.
"Tell you what you go to bed in your room and I promise that I will scream enough to wake you and give you enough time to get down here before I wake up."
"I'm fine really."
"You don't look fine. Go to bed, now, captain's orders."
"Aye Aye Captain," Harper said with a salute. I found myself laughing and then stopping because my side hurt too much. "But you better hold up your end of the bargain."
"I will Harper, Go to bed before you get any sicker."
"I'm not sick."
"And this is a commonwealth warship."
"Now that would be sweet."
"Bed!"
"You too boss. Do you think you could work on that warship for me?"
"In your dreams, which you better be having shortly." He just nodded and finally left my room. I stared up at the ceiling. If I went to bed I would just have another nightmare. They were so strange. Why was I having them now? I had dealt with my mom and dad. What was wrong with me?
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I was back in my room. I remember this dream mom, I yelled out to the ceiling. Wait why was I remembering this dream? It couldn't be a dream then, could it? I stared at the walls. Back were the drawings but they weren't the happy ones of fairies and elves from my childhood. The wall were covered in drawings of black holes, gauss guns firing into crowds of people, ships being fired at by unseen targets, ships being blown apart.
There were people in the pictures too. Even though they were childhood drawings I could almost identify the people in them. One looked like my father. He was standing next to a beautiful ship and young women came out of the ship and kissed him. Two children also came out of the ship. Without warning the women turned and punched the man, my father, in the gut. He doubled over and when he came back up the ship was in disarray the children clothes were rags. He turned away from them with his eyes covered by black x's. He got in the ship and flew away leaving the two children. The view shifted to inside the ship. Equipment fell around the man as he keeps flying. The ship had a porthole in the black and you could see the two children standing in their rags. They grew smaller but were always visible. I couldn't watch anymore.
I turned to another drawing. In this one, there was a woman holding a girl. They were clearly mother and daughter and it looked like my mother and me. I wore a pink dress with lace. I had never owned a dress like that. I would have stained it up too quickly or worst ripped it. They both were smiling and happy. Then the picture began to change. The women threw the girl out of the picture and her clothes changes from a white dress to black hooker boots, a short skirt and a tight top. She had a big smile and men wandered in and out of the picture. She was laughing with each person and the little girl would wander in the picture only to be ignored by her mother. Tears formed in my eyes. The two pictures then began to burn. I tired to beat back the flames but the harder I tried to put out the fire the faster it burned the paper. While it didn't burned me I could see the people in the pictures turn to me and scream at me to stop the flames and save them. The flames continued to grow and soon the pictures figures inside of them were gone.
Tears clouded my eyes, but I could see more drawing with figures in them. One of them had a boy running from a starship. The next one had a boy with blonde hair being beaten by a gang of men twice his size. More drawings filled my mind. A girl surrounded by bills. A man dying in alley alone. The paper fell off the wall and started piling on top of me. I was dying in a pile of paper. I tried to get them off me but I couldn't move my arms.
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Come on Beka, I need you to wake up" I heard a soft voice call to me. I found myself back in my current bed room. The walls had no childhood drawings, maps, bills, and hard vid files. I was awake. I was out of that nightmare. But where was Harper. I looked around the room but the new purple girl must have known my question. She nodded her head towards the other side of my bed. Harper was sleeping on a chair with his had one the bed. He was holding one of my hands. In my panic I hadn't felt it.
"He should be in bed." His face was flush, Harper was sick again, and making himself sicker.
"He needed to be here. I need to change you bandage. I'm Trance, I don't know if Harper told you my name."
"I think he mentioned it. So what are you Trance?"
"Do a little bit of everything, right now I am a medic" She gently removed the bandage from my side and placed an ointment on my side and another bandage. "You can get up today if you feel up to it. Just try and get some sleep tonight if you do." So even the new girl had heard my cries, I grimace. "You shouldn't be in any pain."
"No I'm fine, Trance. Right?"
"Yeah, so do you want to eat in the main room or breakfast in bed?"
"How about the main room, let Harper sleep a little longer." With a smile Trance held out her hand and helped me off the bed. She was strong for such a small thing. Well she was the only member of the crew currently not staying up all night with nightmares while getting over 'Tim.'
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The room was back. Could I get through a night without visiting my old room? This is Harper's room now I cried out to the sprits that be. The walls didn't respond this time. There was no pictures, no voices, nothing. My bed sat on the floor bare. My box of clothes sat empty at the foot of the bed. Where were all my things? It could have been anyone's room. I sat on the bed and drew my legs up to my chest. I felt so alone. The only comfort was the small space. I had grown up comforted by tiny spaces. Growing up on a space ship I was use to the cramped quarters.
The mattresses seem larger, like it was when I was a child. The whole room seemed bigger. It was no longer like when I was a child but like the main room only the bed still was taking up most of the room. The room wasn't growing I was shrinking. I curled up closer and hugged my knees. Tears flowed down my cheeks. Then I felt arms wrap around me. I held on tight to those arms and buried my head into the person's chest. They continued to hold me. Although I was so small they stood there and protected me from the world. I knew I was safe in these arms. They would not let anyone harm me.
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Through struggle to the stars." -Motto of the Mulvany family
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If you didn't figure it out italics are Beka's dreams along with the quotes this chapter. Thanks for reading all that and tell me if it was good and I should continue.