ANs: I know I told everyone that I would be keeping the Buffy/Spike sex, but for those of you who don't read the personal ANs, I changed my mind. It just seems unlikely to me that Buffy would do that, considering where the story has led us. I plan to keep a lighter version of the attempted rape at the beginning of May, though, as I need it as a catalyst for other things. I hope that no one is too disappointed. Also, I've devised another, simpler way for the Summers' women to remain afloat. So forget all about the Doublemeat Palace garbage. Hated it. Finally: Warning. This chapter contains foreplay acrobatics. Do not try this at home. There's no actual nudity, so for me it's fairly tame, but you should be able to see it coming. If you're offended by such things, skip down. P's at the bottom. Hugs! sita:)
A Little DistractionXavier's School for Gifted Youngsters
December 16, 2001 3PM
As she and Dawn passed through the doors of Charles Xavier's manor, Buffy inhaled deeply and then sighed with relief. She was very glad to be out of Sunnydale. For a little while she would be virtually responsibility free. She and Dawn would both be cared for here. And she would be with Logan.
After Tara had moved out and Willow's quick descent into dark magic oblivion, Buffy had felt Logan's absence sharply. She had tried to be a parent to Dawn, but Dawn only seemed half-interested. Spike could have been supportive, as he was when she'd first made her way home from the cemetery. But his agenda had changed once again. Buffy deeply resented his renewed sexual pursuit of her, meagerly disguised by frequent declarations of his love. In addition, sprinkled throughout her last few weeks at home, periods of Anya and Xander's vigorous bickering about their wedding plans were just depressing. Clearly, she had needed some time away from the Hellmouth and her life there. It was enough to wreck anyone.
The weight of Logan's warm arm draped across her shoulder was comforting and solid; and as he led her through the festively decorated rooms, she was reminded of the last time they were together in Sunnydale. Dreading the loss of her fiancé, for the last few days before his departure, Buffy refused to talk about his return to the mansion. She'd felt so safe with him and she wasn't ready to let that go. She knew at the time that she should have put him first. She should have been less emotional. She was a strong woman, a survivor, a Slayer. But after having been pulled out of paradise and abandoned by Giles, Logan had become her home and her only haven.
Since he'd left, if she closed her eyes, she could still smell the fumes emanating from the Xavier jet waiting to take him back to the school. She remembered the tears that fell on the way to the jet. She had felt as if someone was stealing a part of her, severing an arm. And the stricken look he had given her in the car brought tears to her eyes still.
Once they arrived, Scott had greeted her warmly and then politely returned to the jet where he kept a discrete distance, allowing her time and privacy to say good-bye to Logan. Standing next to the jet on that dusty, abandoned airstrip outside of town, Logan held her gently, like she was made of porcelain.
Studying her face with his startlingly beautiful amber eyes, as if he were trying to memorize her every nuance, he whispered, "I don't want to go."
"Don't!" she cried, as she buried her face in his chest.
"I can be here in less than an hour, if you need me," he offered.
"I need you now, and I'll need you again in less than an hour, so you should just stay and save yourself the trouble of coming right back," she suggested plaintively.
"You could always come with me," he said. "There's got to be some demons that need slaying in New York."
She shook her head in despair, "You know I can't. Not yet."
Buffy was startled into the present as Logan stopped abruptly at the door of her usual room. Assuming it was for Dawn this time, she allowed Dawn to enter first. Buffy was shocked to find that the single queen-sized bed had been replaced with two full-sized beds.
"Dawnie, give us a minute," Buffy asked, as she backed into Logan and nudged him out into the hall.
"I thought I would be staying with you. I want to stay with you. In your room," Buffy insisted in a hushed tone.
Logan ushered her next to the wall a few feet away, "Not a good idea."
"Why not? We're engaged. We're not going to be sleeping down the hall from each other after we're married, are we?" she countered.
"Buffy, of course not. But I don't think..."
Before he could stop her, Buffy delicately placed one foot between his legs, held on to his upper arms, pivoted, and switched positions with him, placing him firmly against the wall. Smiling wolfishly, she leaned into his chest, delighting in the strength and power of his body. Aggressiveness, even if it was subtle, with someone as formidable as Logan was almost euphoric in its intensity. Tingles bordering on chills ran down her back and down the backs of her legs. She shivered, then kissed his neck just beneath his ear. "Well, I do think. I think we need to practice. No awkward wedding night fumblings this way."
Logan flipped her around, turned her to face the wall, seized her hands and pinned them on either side of her head. "I really don't think that will be a problem. And neither do you," he growled, as he bit the delicate skin at the back of her neck. Once. Twice. Then lower, through the fibers of her cashmere sweater and between her shoulder blades, she felt the soft demanding pressure of his teeth.
"I might," she panted, turning slowly and pulling her hands free. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she brushed her lips and cheek softly back and forth against the starkly differing textures of his lips and abrasive whiskers. "I've been thinking of you... concocting plans for you... plotting your downfall... And I thought it would only be fair to let you know... in case you wanted to surrender now... Would you like to hear the things I'd like to do to you?" Whispering heatedly against his neck, she lifted herself deftly from the floor and encircled his hips with her legs. "I promise to make you feel so good... again and again... until you beg for mercy... or pass out... Would you like that... do you think?"
Logan gasped as her legs wrapped around his waist and squeezed. The scent of her desire and the sound of her husky whispers were enough to drive him over the edge, but when she wound herself around him, he was submerged, drowning in sensation. He growled and slammed himself against Buffy so hard that the paintings shook all the way to his room. His lips sought hers blindly, taking her mouth in a wild, abandoned sensual feasting. One hand supported her while the other slid hedonistically between the slit in her leather skirt. Buffy writhed and clung to him as if the absence of contact with his warmth would signal certain death. Lost in the delirium of their connection, both were stunned by Dawn's sudden announcement from beyond the open door.
"I can hear you dry humping my sister in the hall, Logan, and it's totally disgusting."
Chagrined, Logan dropped Buffy's legs immediately. She felt bereft at the lost of contact, but just smirked at him before strolling brazenly into her room. "Separate rooms, Logan? Big. Big mistake."
His body in agony, Logan staggered to his room. He needed to wash up again, to send his clothes down to the laundry. Buffy's passion-infused scent was implanted in ever fiber and in every pore she touched. And he knew that until he washed at least some of it away, he would never be able to relax enough to enjoy her visit, or face her sister.
After a thoroughly bracing half-hour under the needles of frigid water in his shower, Logan pulled out some fresh jeans and a long-sleeved navy henley tshirt and dressed himself. Even from the floor, his scent combined with Buffy's in his clothes was making his head spin. But before he could get them to the laundry chute down the hall, Logan's phone began to ring.
"What?" Logan demanded testily, dropping to the edge of his bed.
"Hello, Logan? It's Rupert Giles."
"Giles, I'm a little busy..." Logan hedged.
"Oh, of course," Giles rushed, "I do apologize if I've caught you at a bad time, but I've learned a little more about the spell and I thought you might want to know right away."
Logan laid back on his bed. "Sure, let me have it."
"Erm... well, I was surprised by the seriousness of your illness after Buffy's death. According to everything I had previously read regarding this spell, it should have simply ended when Buffy died. Consequently, I've done a bit more research and it appears that some kind of addendum has been attached to it."
Sitting up quickly, Logan demanded, "Addendum? What kind of addendum?"
"I cannot be certain without the actual spell - there are so many possibilities - but I have deduced that this spell has intertwined your spirits and not just your bodies and minds."
"What? What the hell does that mean?"
"In essence, it means that although Buffy was on a heavenly plane, she was not fulfilled without your soul there with her. She didn't suffer as you did, but whether she knew it or not, she was incomplete. And as time seemed to pass more slowly there, she was without you longer. While you suffered and I'm sure to an extent, continue to do so now, her anxiety during separation will soon match and quite possibly surpass yours."
"Ok, great. Any good news to go with the lousy?"
"I'm afraid the only good news is your engagement, Logan. Have you set a date?" Giles inquired tentatively.
"No. She's still not ready. She needs more time."
Giles sighed, "There isn't much of that left. Soon the needs of her spirit will manifest themselves in terms she can understand in order to bring about resolution. The physical... cravings of her body will start to affect her decision-making skills. She hasn't had the slow building of... of... desire that you have, so she won't be as resistant. She's strong. She's a Slayer. But she may begin to behave irrationally."
"You're going to have to spell it out for me, Giles."
"Is there any way you could get married and live with her in Sunnydale for a while?" Giles ventured cautiously. "If you can't find a way to move things along, she may very well turn to someone else as a surrogate. It will be unsatisfying and she won't want to, but..."
Logan stood and began to pace, "Fuck if she will. I'll kill anyone..."
"That's what I'm trying to say to you, Logan. You are growing more dangerous at every new moon, and so is she."
"What can I do? Give me something to do."
"I honestly don't know," Giles said sadly, "but I will pursue this until I have an answer for you."
Something suddenly occurred to Logan. "What if we don't have actual sex, but..."
Giles blanched audibly. "You mean m-mmutual m-m-masturbation or-or-or oral sex?"
"That's right."
"I don't know. It might help, but it will definitely be dangerous. You will both feel a terrible pull to consummate your union. Let me speak with some of the members of a coven I know. They may be able to answer you more definitively."
"Fine. Get back to me," Logan snarled and slammed down the phone.
Shakily, he turned and bent down to pick up his clothes again. Unable to stop himself, he lifted his shirt and pressed it against his face. Pain clawed at his lower stomach. "Buffy," he whispered, before finding his control again. Taking a deep breath, he tried to empty his mind. When he was ready, tentatively, he ventured out the bedroom door.
As he reluctantly deposited his clothing behind the steel chute door, he overheard Dawn talking with someone a few doors away. Buffy wasn't in there. Dawn must be on the phone. But where was Buffy? Reaching out with his senses, he found her in the kitchen with Marie and Ororo. Good, he affirmed silently. No men in that room.
Unexpectedly, his attention was drawn back to Dawn and her conversation when Logan heard her say, "Yes Angel, we got your check. Thanks again for taking such good care of us. And yes, we got your Christmas gifts. Did Cordy choose them? Because I know you can barely put two matching socks together."
Alarmed, Logan hesitated for a few seconds, then returned to his room. The last thing he wanted was to go downstairs and confront his fiancé about another man paying her way. It nauseated him. It was like Angel leaving money on her nightstand after services rendered. No, he told himself. He would know if she had... and she wouldn't. She would never do that, no matter what Giles said. He struggled against his pride and the will of the beast raging at him, using every ounce of rational intellect he possessed. He was so stupid! Of course they didn't have any income after their mother died. He should have provided for her. Restlessly, he stalked the length of his room.
He needed to get a handle on his emotions. He had to remain as gentle with Buffy as he could in order to hold her interest. Angel and Spike, maybe even Xander... and God knew who else were circling his woman. And apparently Angel had money to spare. Women liked money. They liked to buy things. He had some money tucked away, but how could get more of it? He couldn't steal it. Buffy would never approve of that. Plus, it was wrong and it stank of desperation. He couldn't appear desperate. He needed to keep her respect and his. Shaking his head, he ran his hands over his face. At this rate, he was never going to be able to spend any time with Buffy.
Down the hall, Dawn was still on the phone. In her heart of hearts, she wished that things had worked out between Angel and Buffy. She would never say anything to her sister about it, but she had always hoped that she would get back together with Angel. He was such a great guy, and as long as he wasn't Angelus, he never made her nervous. She couldn't say the same about Logan. What kind of a man had a nickname like 'Wolverine', anyway? Weird. Yes... Ok, Logan was gorgeous, no doubt about it, but he was so... big and... male. Not that Angel wasn't masculine, but Angel was thoughtful and romantic and Buffy's first love... and he was familiar. And he was in California. He didn't expect her to pack up, leave all of her friends, and move across country someday.
"Sorry Angel, what did you say?" Dawn asked with a frown.
Angel, laughing at her, repeated himself, "I asked what you think of the Professor's school."
"Oh, it's gorgeous and absolutely huge. And you should see the decorations. There are wreaths over all the fireplaces, two huge trees decorated in red and white downstairs, and ornaments, tinsel, and real spruce garlands all over the place. It smells amazing."
"Well that's good. So you approve?" He ventured.
"I approve of the house. That's all," she answered swiftly.
"But not of Buffy's choice?"
Dawn sighed and sat down on the floor. "It's not that. I just wish..."
"Dawn, as much as I don't like it, Buffy has made her decision. She's in love with this guy. She's marrying this guy. I know it's hard, but you need to support her. And... and I would be disappointed if you didn't try to get to know him. Eventually, you'll be sharing a house with him and I want you to be happy."
"What if I don't feel like it? You can't even say his name you hate him so much. Couldn't you come here and take her away from him? I bet you could," she whined.
"Dawnie..." Angel drawled.
"Ok-Ok... If I have to be all mature about it."
Dawn finished her conversation a few minutes later and drifted sadly downstairs. Fingering her favorite Christmas gift from Angel, a platinum and emerald cross that matched the amethyst one Buffy received, she set out in search of Buffy. As she descended the stairs, she heard her sister talking to a woman with a southern accent. Walking into a kitchen that was clearly designed for multiple professional chefs, she found Buffy sitting on a bar stool.
"Oh Dawn, I'm so sorry!" Buffy exclaimed. "I should have come to check on you. Did you get lost? Are you finished unpacking?"
Dawn cringed. Buffy so needed to stop with the babying. "I'm good. No worries. So what's up?" Then, noticing a familiar face, Dawn smiled. "Hey Ororo! How've you been?"
Ororo smiled gently at the young girl's enthusiasm. "I'm fine, Dawn. Thank you for asking. And you?"
"I'm good," Dawn began distractedly, as she drifted toward the window. Then, grinning, she turned to Buffy. "So who's up for some snow fun?"
Charles Xavier leaned forward from his seated position and knocked on the door. Seconds later, the door was jerked open by damp-haired, bare-footed Logan.
"Professor. Is everything Ok? Buffy? Where's Buffy?"
"Logan, relax," Xavier soothed. "She's fine. If you look out your window, you'll see for yourself."
Logan walked to the window. Peering down, he saw Buffy, Dawn, Ororo, and Marie making snow angels. Buffy's sweet little nose was tinged red which meant that she should probably come in and get warm, but otherwise, she didn't appear to be in any danger. Without warning, Buffy looked up and caught him watching her. Smiling broadly, she waved and blew kisses. Logan returned her wave, releasing the breath he had been holding with a soft groan. Remembering he had company, he turned around and headed into the bathroom. "Just a minute, let me finish getting cleaned up."
"Yes, of course," he smiled. "Please do."
Charles Xavier could hear Logan splash water on his face. As he rolled himself over to the window to watch the activity below, he was struck by the loveliness of all four girls. He contemplated them as he would a poem or sculpture, allowing his mind drift. Two of them were dear friends, and although they were very independent and capable, he considered them to be in his care. Daughters. The other two were Scott's family which made them his family as well. He sincerely hoped that the decision they had made with Giles in regard to Buffy, on her behalf, was the right one.
"Ready," Logan declared.
"Good... Please sit down," Xavier asked, as he directed Logan to the desk chair next to him. Looking Logan in the eye, Charles Xavier began, "I would never intentionally pry, but I am concerned about the increased conflict I sense from you. It has been on the rise recently, and although I've tried to ignore it, today it has been almost impossible."
Looking at the floor, Logan shrugged. It wouldn't do any good to try and hide from the professor. "I'm handling it the only way I know how."
"I realize that, my friend. I am here with a possible short-term solution... I know from Rupert that Buffy's training includes meditation, and in his absence I intend to suggest she continues to practice. I think that progressive meditation might help you to maintain focus. If you're interested, I would be happy to help you..."
Logan smirked at himself, and nodded in agreement. "At this point, professor, I'll try anything."
(end chapter)
Personal ANs:
Pay-day1999: Yep, another B/L on the horizon, as soon as I finish this, catch up on my reading and reviewing, get my hands on some X-Men comics and polish up my characterizations. So much to do, so little time. Angel redeems himself somewhat in this chapter, but he's still under Logan's skin.
Anna: Working out the Angel issues. Patience, sweetpea:] And hopefully you'll like this one. More angst and turning up the heat.
Prophetess of Hearts! Hey bebe! Not to worry, all will be resolved in time. Spike dies at the end, remember? Then he goes to LA to pester Angel;]
Queenfrizz30: Spike is obsessing again. What a shocker. He obsesses over Buffy when he hates her and when he wants her. Poor Spikey. Sorry if it ruined anything for you, but now that most of the conflict is emotional, I had to keep y'all engaged in what happens next. I'm definitely thinking of writing another B/L, but it will take a while to work out the details.
Allen: Hey there! Welcome! Glad you like it. As far as who knows what, only Logan, Giles and Charles know anything. Everyone else is assuming that they are just a regular couple… well as regular as these two can be. I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised by Buffy's reaction to the news. I'm trying to set it up so that it won't be a terrible blow. I think that Logan is very territorial and possessive. It makes sense. Although he's not a werewolf completely, he has that side to his personality. Think Oz with Tara, after he smelled Willow 'all over her'. I may reference her time in the actual clinic, when her parents committed her. But for the most part, I'm trying to stay away from dwelling on any single specific episodes.