Chapter Five:
"Oh, why wasn't I born in first class?" Sarah wailed pathetically as she sat on the stairs outside the Fine Dining and Dancing. First Class was filling the place by the minute, while she was stuck outside, watching.
She WAS admiring the gowns, the suits, the food, the silverware, the decorations, all those wonderful things, but she was also looking for John- just out of curiosity. She was interested in whom he danced with, but she didn't consider her jealous. She was jealous, because she wanted to be dancing and eating in there, with all the other joyful faces, but she was stuck eating with her aunt.
Since the two were getting along better, it wasn't that bad. Sarah still felt guilty that she was keeping so much from her aunt, but she wasn't ready to tell her anything yet. She kept most of her secrets to herself and her diary, and hoped every second of the day that John would keep them to himself too.
Dear Diary,
I'm still sitting outside the door of the Fine Dining and Dancing. It looks so fantastic, and I'm starting to feel very strange things as I watch everyone else. I think I'm losing myself as the music makes me get lost in thought. I can barely look in there anymore without getting this feeling. It scares me when I don't feel it, but when it starts to take over, I... well, it's hard to say. I think I like it.
I feel like an invisible hand is gripping at my soul, trying to pull it out, only, there's barely a soul in there. True, I do feel many feelings in my soul, but I do not have much character in my soul to show out to people. Everyone else has some sort of dream inside themselves. I can see it in their eyes. I can see it in John's eyes as he dances with all the beautiful first class girls. I cry when I get this feels on the stairs, and it brings questions to my mind.
If I feel this way without a defiant personality and character, then what does it feel like to people with the opposite? What do people who have everything they want inside them? I know I am someone, but that someone is hard for me to find.
I hope John never finds out about this. I think I'm going mad.
Sarah
The girl stared up at the dancers again, water getting ready to pour from her eyes. She watched the girls her age, wondering if they had this same problem. She had never had anyone to talk to or to help her with these problems, so she had no idea if this was just a phase or not. She felt so empty and alone, and it scared her. Everyone she saw looked full, merry, pure, and carefree. That must be how you feel when you know everything in the world, thought Sarah.
"My my, John, what a swell dancer you are." Madeline, a very pretty first class young lady said as she giggled. John had her hand in his, his other hand around her waist. They twirled and swirled around the room, bending a few times as well. Everything was perfect in their world as another girl's world was tumbling at her feet just outside their door.
"You're not so bad yourself, my lady." John said politely. John was quite different around sophisticated ladies as Madeline. He was still mischievous, but in a very different way.
Madeline giggled again, and smiled. Her dark, extremely curly, hair looked much shorter than it really was and bounced around her head. Her elegant gown hid her feet as it fell to the floor. Her hands were glowing from all her jewels on golden rings, and bracelets that clanged on her wrist. Her big blue eyes stared in John's as they smiled at each other.
The two came closer together, so they could feel each other's breathing, and instantly started to touch. Madeline started to touch John's face, and he touched her hair. He pulled a strand down, then let it go so it bounced up and down continuously. Madeline moved his face closer, and they kissed.
If you asked any of the girls who John danced with, most of them got a kiss, but always at the end of the dance. Many of them envied and grew jealous of Madeline, but none were more jealous than Sarah.
"Oh, the poor girl! Everyone should know John doesn't really love them. He has a heart too cold for real love." She said to herself darkly as she watched John and Madeline's liplock. She could see it from outside the door, but she wished she hadn't. She bowed her head as she stared at the two of them coldly, feeling her face grow hot and she knew her face must have looked as red as a tomato. "She needs to learn a few things about romance, that's for sure." She finished off haughtily.
The two continued their dance, smiling and blushing at each other. Madeline did most of the blushing, while continually fanning herself and giggling as she watched her partner. Late into the night they danced, locked in each other's gaze.
"Sarah? Sarah? What are you doing out here?" Sarah jerked awake, still in a bad mood, and started to snap at whoever woke her up.
"Oh sorry, Cory. I didn't know it was you." She said groggily as she stretched. Her back ached from sleeping on the stairs.
"Why are you still out here?" Cory repeated. When Sarah's eyes focused, she could see a few of the First Class ladies and gentlemen going to their rooms behind him. She made sure her diary was in her pocket, and then she stood up, brushing herself off. She shivered as the night's wind found her way over to her.
"I fell asleep while I watched the dances." She said, embarrassed to say so.
"The dances went on later than usual, that must have been why." Cory said, as they stood together. "Why do you have to sit out here all the time?"
She shrugged, trying to hide her embarrassment. "I like the dances. Don't you remember that night John pretended to say he could get me in there?" she stopped speaking instantly, and started to blush a deeper red at John's name.
"Oh. Yeah. I remember that." Cory said, looking uneasy. Sarah learned that Cory was actually a very kind person on his own, but he still had a mischievous side to him. She smiled as he looked embarrassed too.
"Well, I guess I should get back downstairs before my aunt goes on a frantic search for me." Sarah laughed for the first time in hours, but it was a strained laugh, and Cory noticed this.
"You REALLY want to get into those dances don't you?" he said curiously. Sarah quickly nodded, failing to look less interested than she really was. "And you REALLY want to dance with my brother, don't you?" Cory grinned in his kidding way as Sarah blushed again.
"Oh, stop glaring at me like that." Cory said, still grinning.
"I thought you'd be used to it by now!" she snapped, heading down to Second Class.
"Look, I'm sorry. I was only joking. I'm sorry I can't help you get in the Fine Dining and Dances, but you're going to have to live with it. It's just how life goes on."
"Gee, thanks. I feel SO much better!" Sarah said sarcastically, and she turned sharply, storming down the stairs.
"Oh, why wasn't I born in first class?" Sarah wailed pathetically as she sat on the stairs outside the Fine Dining and Dancing. First Class was filling the place by the minute, while she was stuck outside, watching.
She WAS admiring the gowns, the suits, the food, the silverware, the decorations, all those wonderful things, but she was also looking for John- just out of curiosity. She was interested in whom he danced with, but she didn't consider her jealous. She was jealous, because she wanted to be dancing and eating in there, with all the other joyful faces, but she was stuck eating with her aunt.
Since the two were getting along better, it wasn't that bad. Sarah still felt guilty that she was keeping so much from her aunt, but she wasn't ready to tell her anything yet. She kept most of her secrets to herself and her diary, and hoped every second of the day that John would keep them to himself too.
Dear Diary,
I'm still sitting outside the door of the Fine Dining and Dancing. It looks so fantastic, and I'm starting to feel very strange things as I watch everyone else. I think I'm losing myself as the music makes me get lost in thought. I can barely look in there anymore without getting this feeling. It scares me when I don't feel it, but when it starts to take over, I... well, it's hard to say. I think I like it.
I feel like an invisible hand is gripping at my soul, trying to pull it out, only, there's barely a soul in there. True, I do feel many feelings in my soul, but I do not have much character in my soul to show out to people. Everyone else has some sort of dream inside themselves. I can see it in their eyes. I can see it in John's eyes as he dances with all the beautiful first class girls. I cry when I get this feels on the stairs, and it brings questions to my mind.
If I feel this way without a defiant personality and character, then what does it feel like to people with the opposite? What do people who have everything they want inside them? I know I am someone, but that someone is hard for me to find.
I hope John never finds out about this. I think I'm going mad.
Sarah
The girl stared up at the dancers again, water getting ready to pour from her eyes. She watched the girls her age, wondering if they had this same problem. She had never had anyone to talk to or to help her with these problems, so she had no idea if this was just a phase or not. She felt so empty and alone, and it scared her. Everyone she saw looked full, merry, pure, and carefree. That must be how you feel when you know everything in the world, thought Sarah.
"My my, John, what a swell dancer you are." Madeline, a very pretty first class young lady said as she giggled. John had her hand in his, his other hand around her waist. They twirled and swirled around the room, bending a few times as well. Everything was perfect in their world as another girl's world was tumbling at her feet just outside their door.
"You're not so bad yourself, my lady." John said politely. John was quite different around sophisticated ladies as Madeline. He was still mischievous, but in a very different way.
Madeline giggled again, and smiled. Her dark, extremely curly, hair looked much shorter than it really was and bounced around her head. Her elegant gown hid her feet as it fell to the floor. Her hands were glowing from all her jewels on golden rings, and bracelets that clanged on her wrist. Her big blue eyes stared in John's as they smiled at each other.
The two came closer together, so they could feel each other's breathing, and instantly started to touch. Madeline started to touch John's face, and he touched her hair. He pulled a strand down, then let it go so it bounced up and down continuously. Madeline moved his face closer, and they kissed.
If you asked any of the girls who John danced with, most of them got a kiss, but always at the end of the dance. Many of them envied and grew jealous of Madeline, but none were more jealous than Sarah.
"Oh, the poor girl! Everyone should know John doesn't really love them. He has a heart too cold for real love." She said to herself darkly as she watched John and Madeline's liplock. She could see it from outside the door, but she wished she hadn't. She bowed her head as she stared at the two of them coldly, feeling her face grow hot and she knew her face must have looked as red as a tomato. "She needs to learn a few things about romance, that's for sure." She finished off haughtily.
The two continued their dance, smiling and blushing at each other. Madeline did most of the blushing, while continually fanning herself and giggling as she watched her partner. Late into the night they danced, locked in each other's gaze.
"Sarah? Sarah? What are you doing out here?" Sarah jerked awake, still in a bad mood, and started to snap at whoever woke her up.
"Oh sorry, Cory. I didn't know it was you." She said groggily as she stretched. Her back ached from sleeping on the stairs.
"Why are you still out here?" Cory repeated. When Sarah's eyes focused, she could see a few of the First Class ladies and gentlemen going to their rooms behind him. She made sure her diary was in her pocket, and then she stood up, brushing herself off. She shivered as the night's wind found her way over to her.
"I fell asleep while I watched the dances." She said, embarrassed to say so.
"The dances went on later than usual, that must have been why." Cory said, as they stood together. "Why do you have to sit out here all the time?"
She shrugged, trying to hide her embarrassment. "I like the dances. Don't you remember that night John pretended to say he could get me in there?" she stopped speaking instantly, and started to blush a deeper red at John's name.
"Oh. Yeah. I remember that." Cory said, looking uneasy. Sarah learned that Cory was actually a very kind person on his own, but he still had a mischievous side to him. She smiled as he looked embarrassed too.
"Well, I guess I should get back downstairs before my aunt goes on a frantic search for me." Sarah laughed for the first time in hours, but it was a strained laugh, and Cory noticed this.
"You REALLY want to get into those dances don't you?" he said curiously. Sarah quickly nodded, failing to look less interested than she really was. "And you REALLY want to dance with my brother, don't you?" Cory grinned in his kidding way as Sarah blushed again.
"Oh, stop glaring at me like that." Cory said, still grinning.
"I thought you'd be used to it by now!" she snapped, heading down to Second Class.
"Look, I'm sorry. I was only joking. I'm sorry I can't help you get in the Fine Dining and Dances, but you're going to have to live with it. It's just how life goes on."
"Gee, thanks. I feel SO much better!" Sarah said sarcastically, and she turned sharply, storming down the stairs.