.:Reliving the Past:.
Kairi tossed and turned in her sleep as Riku tried to calm her down. He closed his eyes and ran his hands through her hair and down her back. Through the constant rumbles of distant thunder he could hear Kairi muttering Sora's name and other incomprehensive words and moans. He could see the tears falling from her closed eyes and streaming down her dimly lit face. She had been at this ever since she fell asleep. Riku knew not to wake her, though he also knew that it was next to impossible to achieve such a task anyway if even attempted. All he could do was try his best to calm her down, praying that maybe peaceful dreams would come to her.
His main priority right now was Kairi, but his thoughts kept uncontrollably drifting to Sora. There was still no sign of him and it was almost well past twelve. Thankfully the thunder and lightening had calmed greatly. The constant rumble was still alive in the undertone, but the less intensity made better of the situation.
Suddenly, just as Riku was about to get up and search for his missing friend himself, the door swung open and an exceedingly wet Sora stepped through. A most unrecognizable expression was spread out over his face. Riku tried to place it, but he kept coming out with something like fear, rebellion, anger, sadness... it was like the ultimate emotion rolled into one troubled facial expression. The only feeling that seemed to be missing was all the ones entangled with happiness. He looked so far away from even a microscopic amount of glee it was sort of fear provoking.
'Sora?' Riku questioned softly as Sora flew through the living room and into the kitchen. Riku turned to look at him from over the couch. Sora threw off his jacket and it hit the floor with a loud 'smack'. He launched himself down in a chair and ran his hands though his dripping hair [laughs, I rhymed ]. He hunched his head down low and closed his eyes tightly. Riku sighed and as carefully and slowly as possible, he slipped out from underneath Kairi's sleeping form. He passed the single candle that was flickering down to its last few minutes sitting on the coffee table and sat in a chair facing Sora. He waited in silence for Sora to face him.
He let out a loud sigh as he moved his head up to face Riku. The small flame of the candle in the middle of the table brought Sora's haunting expression to life. Riku sat up a little straighter and silently waited for Sora to say something. That, or he was waiting for Sora to take out a large knife and through it at his neck.
'I think we need to talk,' said Sora in a hoarse tone, as if he had been screaming for hours. His eyes were bloodshot like he either hadn't slept for days or he had been crying for days. Neither of these things seemed to fit though.
'Okay,' Riku whispered as he stood up and slowly walked into the bedroom at the end of the small hallway. Sora took a deep breath as he too stood up. He walked past the couch and looked down at Kairi's distressed form. He tore his gaze away from her with a pain filled look upon his face. He followed Riku into the room and shut the door. Though said door was kind of 'sped' so a small crack was left between the door and wall.
Riku sat down on the bed and turned on the light [The lights had come back on... yeah] Sora sat down next to him. Riku, still in an obvious state of uninformed confusion, stared at Sora with great inquisitiveness.
'Where were you today Sora?' Riku questioned as Sora's gaze stayed plastered to the floor. He stayed silent. 'Sora?!' Riku questionably exclaimed. Sora bit his bottom lip and faced Riku slowly.
'I have to leave Riku...' Sora's voice trailed off. His soft tone made it hard for Riku to hear, but no one can't understand those four words, even if they are too silent to hear. The expression on his face explained it all and the puzzle fit together now.
'What?!' Riku shouted in protestic outrage. 'Why...' Sora shook his head slowly not wanting to tell him, though knowing that he had to.
'Do you remember... a few years ago?' Sora began as he fidgeted with his wet hands. Riku nodded slowly, knowing that it would be hard for anyone to forget something like that. 'Well, remember how everyone kind of lost me there for awhile, before I came home?' Sora questioned again.
'When no one knew where you were? Then all of a sudden you showed up back home again with absolutely no memory of what had happened to you?' Riku asked, making sure that he was clear on what Sora was trying to explain.
'Yeah... Well apparently after the heartless left again, after they were gone for good, all that crap I used to kill them drained all my power. The reason no one could find me after that was because I couldn't even find myself,' Sora paused. He looked at Riku noticing the obvious confusion on his face. 'Like, along with my strength it took all my memories... I ended up somewhere and the only thing I had was that letter that Kairi had written to me... The letter you gave to me from her when we met that time...' Sora stopped again.
'Yeah, I remember,' Riku replied. Sora nodded in response and kept going.
'That's how I knew my name... I guess I figured I was Sora and this was a letter from someone that I once knew. Obviously I had forgotten Kairi and, well, forgotten everything else,' said Sora quietly.
'What does that have to do with you leaving again?' Riku exclaimed lightly.
'Hold on, I'm getting to that...' Sora insisted as he took another deep breath. 'There was this person there... this girl. I don't remember her, because I barely remember losing my memory... I don't remember much that happened then. I'll get to that in a minute,' Sora's thoughts conflicted with themselves. He sighed and continued.
'Anyway... apparently, um...' Sora ran his hand through his wet hair and thought hard about how he was going to word his next statement. 'I was there for nearly three years... I-I wasn't me Riku, okay?' Sora questioned. Riku's confused expression faded slightly as he put two and two together. Sora noticed this and continued. 'Nothing extreme happened, though, between us... I knew that it was wrong... I know that I knew that. Something in my heart told me that I was making a huge mistake, but there was no way to get home. I-' Sora stopped as he fought against a lump that had been forming in his throat from the beginning of the day.
'Sora...' Riku said softly. Sora turned to him.
'Something's wrong with her... Something with her and her world and they need me to help,' said Sora in an extremely hushed tone. 'I have to go Riku. I don't want to,' Sora paused. 'But I have to.'
Riku nodded slowly. 'You know it would break her heart,' Riku replied lightly. Sora took a heart stopping breath and looked back at the ground. Riku could almost feel the pain that he felt deep inside at said mentioned words.
'I know... It would break her heart if she knew what I did... It would break her heart if I left. It would break her heart if she knew that I was leaving to help... her,' Sora couldn't continue.
'Then just don't leave!' Riku exclaimed. He was on the edge of the bed and was just about to kill Sora for even thinking about leaving again. 'That's her greatest fear Sora. It wouldn't just break her heart. It would like... Break her full mode of living. She'd die Sora!'
'Don't make this any harder for me Riku... I have to go... You know me... You know I can't just live knowing that a whole world is fading out and there is something I can do about it! But you I can't leave Kairi... I need to... If I just leave tonight, before she wakes up...'
'I can't let you do that Sora... At least tell her that you're leaving. At least let her know that you're still alive. She was afraid to death today that something had happened to you. Do you know what that's like?! I'm always going to be the one stuck around trying to heal her wounded heart. But I am no use Sora, she loves you...' Riku's voice trailed off. He paused for a moment to breathe and to calm down a little bit. 'She needs you Sora, not me.'
Sora nodded, tears welling in his eyes, But not daring to fall. 'I promise, I'll tell her about it someday, I'm just not ready yet,' said Sora weakly. Silence ensued. Riku nodded his head. The two sat there for a few moments, perchance to let the conversation they had just had sink in.
'Just promise me one thing Riku,' said Sora quietly. 'Stay with her...' Riku nodded slowly. 'Promise me that you won't tell Kairi anything!' said Sora firmly, but still in a mildly hushed tone.
'Tell Kairi what?' came a drowsy sounding voice from the doorway. Sora and Riku shot their heads up and aimed their attention to the small, crimson haired girl standing innocently in the doorway. She walked further into the room, the afghan still wrapped around her shoulders. She gave them both curious stares and then a small smile formed on her lips. She leaned down and wrapped her arms around Sora's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He tensely wrapped his arms around her back then suddenly stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him in confusion. Sora bit his bottom lip and blinked away the threatening tears. A sad smile formed on his lips.
'I'm sorry...' he began slowly as he tore his gaze away from her innocent face, turned her around and sat her down on the bed as he began to walk out the door. Riku was the first to shoot up to his feet and begin chasing after him. Kairi, still utterly confused, followed slowly.
Sora grabbed his soaked coat up off the wet floor and put it on himself again.
'Sora, what the hell do you think you're doing!?' Riku shouted as he stopped Sora in the kitchen.
'I'm leaving Riku,' Sora shouted a little too quickly. He turned around headed, again, for the door. A sudden silence filled the room.
'You're... what?' Kairi stuttered barely audibly. She felt her heart skip a few beats and her entire body froze, every inch of her mortal being went numb. Sora stopped moving as her tiny voice reached his ears and broke his heart almost completely. Kairi waited for him to turn around and say that he only meant leaving to go home, or to town to get food or something, but Sora didn't turn around, nor did he speak. He took a deep breath and headed through the door.
Kairi stayed frozen for only another moment and then, suddenly, threw the afghan off of her as she chased after him out the door. Riku followed silently, closing the door behind him.
Kairi ran as fast as she could in order to catch up with him. The rain instantly soaked her just as she stepped into open air. The sound of thunder could be heard in the very far distance, but she seemed to be completely oblivious to that fact. She stopped once she got to the beach, realizing that he was right in front of her. She grabbed his arm and, with all of her strength, ripped him around to face her. The rain disguised it slightly, but each of them could tell that the other was crying. Kairi couldn't find the words; she just gripped his arms painfully and stared up into his sweet sapphire eyes.
'Why?!' she managed to utter almost silently as she searched his face for the answers.
'Look, I promise that I'll come back,' Sora tried to comfort, but he only managed to make the discomfort levels more unbearable.
'You promised that you'd stay forever this time too!' Kairi screamed as her tears mixed with the drops of rain that ceased to pour down her cheeks. 'How am I supposed to believe you when you say that?'
'You're not making this any easier for me,' said Sora firmly.
'And you've never made it easy for me!' Kairi exclaimed back as her sadness mixed with anger. 'I have spent a good majority of my life waiting. When I am not waiting I am worrying! I don't want to wait and worry about you forever Sora, I'm sick of it!' Kairi yelled. Sora looked down at the wet sand and tried to hold back a few more tears.
'I know, I know,' said Sora. 'I'm sorry. I'm really sorry,' said Sora quietly. Kairi shut her mouth and welcomed the pending silence with open arms. She let out a few whimpering cries and fell forward into Sora's arms. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and dropped his face into her hair. He ran one of his hands over her head to try and comfort her sadness.
'I... love you, Sora,' Kairi whispered lightly through her muffled weeping.
'I love you too Kairi, you have to believe me. I hate myself... I've always hated myself,' he muttered as he drew back from their embrace. He crouched down very slightly and took off his jacket. He draped it over her shoulders and kissed her gently on the lips. He slowly drew away and gave her a sad smile. She looked directly into his eyes and thought about nothing but the last time this same exact thing happened. Sora slowly leaned in closer to her head. He wiped her cheek, 'I'm always with you,' he whispered into her ear. He began backing up and then turned around. He started walking away and Kairi just stood there. An extremely depressed smile laced her lips.
'I'm always with you too!' She shouted back. The smile quickly gave way to the blankest expression that had ever befallen upon her face.
Riku, who had been watching from the background the whole time, stepped up to Kairi and stood beside her as they watched Sora disappear into the darkness of the night. Kairi slowly turned towards Riku and dropped her full weight into his arms. Startled slightly, he felt himself stumble back a little, but he caught her and wrapped both his arms around her shoulders. She limply held her arms by her sides and felt herself give into a full episode of tears as she cried in the night. Riku raised her up into his arms and carried her home where she spent the rest of the night in a petrified state of denial. Eventually she gave into her exhaustion and let unconsciousness take over as she drifted off into a long, dreamless sleep.
Kairi tossed and turned in her sleep as Riku tried to calm her down. He closed his eyes and ran his hands through her hair and down her back. Through the constant rumbles of distant thunder he could hear Kairi muttering Sora's name and other incomprehensive words and moans. He could see the tears falling from her closed eyes and streaming down her dimly lit face. She had been at this ever since she fell asleep. Riku knew not to wake her, though he also knew that it was next to impossible to achieve such a task anyway if even attempted. All he could do was try his best to calm her down, praying that maybe peaceful dreams would come to her.
His main priority right now was Kairi, but his thoughts kept uncontrollably drifting to Sora. There was still no sign of him and it was almost well past twelve. Thankfully the thunder and lightening had calmed greatly. The constant rumble was still alive in the undertone, but the less intensity made better of the situation.
Suddenly, just as Riku was about to get up and search for his missing friend himself, the door swung open and an exceedingly wet Sora stepped through. A most unrecognizable expression was spread out over his face. Riku tried to place it, but he kept coming out with something like fear, rebellion, anger, sadness... it was like the ultimate emotion rolled into one troubled facial expression. The only feeling that seemed to be missing was all the ones entangled with happiness. He looked so far away from even a microscopic amount of glee it was sort of fear provoking.
'Sora?' Riku questioned softly as Sora flew through the living room and into the kitchen. Riku turned to look at him from over the couch. Sora threw off his jacket and it hit the floor with a loud 'smack'. He launched himself down in a chair and ran his hands though his dripping hair [laughs, I rhymed ]. He hunched his head down low and closed his eyes tightly. Riku sighed and as carefully and slowly as possible, he slipped out from underneath Kairi's sleeping form. He passed the single candle that was flickering down to its last few minutes sitting on the coffee table and sat in a chair facing Sora. He waited in silence for Sora to face him.
He let out a loud sigh as he moved his head up to face Riku. The small flame of the candle in the middle of the table brought Sora's haunting expression to life. Riku sat up a little straighter and silently waited for Sora to say something. That, or he was waiting for Sora to take out a large knife and through it at his neck.
'I think we need to talk,' said Sora in a hoarse tone, as if he had been screaming for hours. His eyes were bloodshot like he either hadn't slept for days or he had been crying for days. Neither of these things seemed to fit though.
'Okay,' Riku whispered as he stood up and slowly walked into the bedroom at the end of the small hallway. Sora took a deep breath as he too stood up. He walked past the couch and looked down at Kairi's distressed form. He tore his gaze away from her with a pain filled look upon his face. He followed Riku into the room and shut the door. Though said door was kind of 'sped' so a small crack was left between the door and wall.
Riku sat down on the bed and turned on the light [The lights had come back on... yeah] Sora sat down next to him. Riku, still in an obvious state of uninformed confusion, stared at Sora with great inquisitiveness.
'Where were you today Sora?' Riku questioned as Sora's gaze stayed plastered to the floor. He stayed silent. 'Sora?!' Riku questionably exclaimed. Sora bit his bottom lip and faced Riku slowly.
'I have to leave Riku...' Sora's voice trailed off. His soft tone made it hard for Riku to hear, but no one can't understand those four words, even if they are too silent to hear. The expression on his face explained it all and the puzzle fit together now.
'What?!' Riku shouted in protestic outrage. 'Why...' Sora shook his head slowly not wanting to tell him, though knowing that he had to.
'Do you remember... a few years ago?' Sora began as he fidgeted with his wet hands. Riku nodded slowly, knowing that it would be hard for anyone to forget something like that. 'Well, remember how everyone kind of lost me there for awhile, before I came home?' Sora questioned again.
'When no one knew where you were? Then all of a sudden you showed up back home again with absolutely no memory of what had happened to you?' Riku asked, making sure that he was clear on what Sora was trying to explain.
'Yeah... Well apparently after the heartless left again, after they were gone for good, all that crap I used to kill them drained all my power. The reason no one could find me after that was because I couldn't even find myself,' Sora paused. He looked at Riku noticing the obvious confusion on his face. 'Like, along with my strength it took all my memories... I ended up somewhere and the only thing I had was that letter that Kairi had written to me... The letter you gave to me from her when we met that time...' Sora stopped again.
'Yeah, I remember,' Riku replied. Sora nodded in response and kept going.
'That's how I knew my name... I guess I figured I was Sora and this was a letter from someone that I once knew. Obviously I had forgotten Kairi and, well, forgotten everything else,' said Sora quietly.
'What does that have to do with you leaving again?' Riku exclaimed lightly.
'Hold on, I'm getting to that...' Sora insisted as he took another deep breath. 'There was this person there... this girl. I don't remember her, because I barely remember losing my memory... I don't remember much that happened then. I'll get to that in a minute,' Sora's thoughts conflicted with themselves. He sighed and continued.
'Anyway... apparently, um...' Sora ran his hand through his wet hair and thought hard about how he was going to word his next statement. 'I was there for nearly three years... I-I wasn't me Riku, okay?' Sora questioned. Riku's confused expression faded slightly as he put two and two together. Sora noticed this and continued. 'Nothing extreme happened, though, between us... I knew that it was wrong... I know that I knew that. Something in my heart told me that I was making a huge mistake, but there was no way to get home. I-' Sora stopped as he fought against a lump that had been forming in his throat from the beginning of the day.
'Sora...' Riku said softly. Sora turned to him.
'Something's wrong with her... Something with her and her world and they need me to help,' said Sora in an extremely hushed tone. 'I have to go Riku. I don't want to,' Sora paused. 'But I have to.'
Riku nodded slowly. 'You know it would break her heart,' Riku replied lightly. Sora took a heart stopping breath and looked back at the ground. Riku could almost feel the pain that he felt deep inside at said mentioned words.
'I know... It would break her heart if she knew what I did... It would break her heart if I left. It would break her heart if she knew that I was leaving to help... her,' Sora couldn't continue.
'Then just don't leave!' Riku exclaimed. He was on the edge of the bed and was just about to kill Sora for even thinking about leaving again. 'That's her greatest fear Sora. It wouldn't just break her heart. It would like... Break her full mode of living. She'd die Sora!'
'Don't make this any harder for me Riku... I have to go... You know me... You know I can't just live knowing that a whole world is fading out and there is something I can do about it! But you I can't leave Kairi... I need to... If I just leave tonight, before she wakes up...'
'I can't let you do that Sora... At least tell her that you're leaving. At least let her know that you're still alive. She was afraid to death today that something had happened to you. Do you know what that's like?! I'm always going to be the one stuck around trying to heal her wounded heart. But I am no use Sora, she loves you...' Riku's voice trailed off. He paused for a moment to breathe and to calm down a little bit. 'She needs you Sora, not me.'
Sora nodded, tears welling in his eyes, But not daring to fall. 'I promise, I'll tell her about it someday, I'm just not ready yet,' said Sora weakly. Silence ensued. Riku nodded his head. The two sat there for a few moments, perchance to let the conversation they had just had sink in.
'Just promise me one thing Riku,' said Sora quietly. 'Stay with her...' Riku nodded slowly. 'Promise me that you won't tell Kairi anything!' said Sora firmly, but still in a mildly hushed tone.
'Tell Kairi what?' came a drowsy sounding voice from the doorway. Sora and Riku shot their heads up and aimed their attention to the small, crimson haired girl standing innocently in the doorway. She walked further into the room, the afghan still wrapped around her shoulders. She gave them both curious stares and then a small smile formed on her lips. She leaned down and wrapped her arms around Sora's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He tensely wrapped his arms around her back then suddenly stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him in confusion. Sora bit his bottom lip and blinked away the threatening tears. A sad smile formed on his lips.
'I'm sorry...' he began slowly as he tore his gaze away from her innocent face, turned her around and sat her down on the bed as he began to walk out the door. Riku was the first to shoot up to his feet and begin chasing after him. Kairi, still utterly confused, followed slowly.
Sora grabbed his soaked coat up off the wet floor and put it on himself again.
'Sora, what the hell do you think you're doing!?' Riku shouted as he stopped Sora in the kitchen.
'I'm leaving Riku,' Sora shouted a little too quickly. He turned around headed, again, for the door. A sudden silence filled the room.
'You're... what?' Kairi stuttered barely audibly. She felt her heart skip a few beats and her entire body froze, every inch of her mortal being went numb. Sora stopped moving as her tiny voice reached his ears and broke his heart almost completely. Kairi waited for him to turn around and say that he only meant leaving to go home, or to town to get food or something, but Sora didn't turn around, nor did he speak. He took a deep breath and headed through the door.
Kairi stayed frozen for only another moment and then, suddenly, threw the afghan off of her as she chased after him out the door. Riku followed silently, closing the door behind him.
Kairi ran as fast as she could in order to catch up with him. The rain instantly soaked her just as she stepped into open air. The sound of thunder could be heard in the very far distance, but she seemed to be completely oblivious to that fact. She stopped once she got to the beach, realizing that he was right in front of her. She grabbed his arm and, with all of her strength, ripped him around to face her. The rain disguised it slightly, but each of them could tell that the other was crying. Kairi couldn't find the words; she just gripped his arms painfully and stared up into his sweet sapphire eyes.
'Why?!' she managed to utter almost silently as she searched his face for the answers.
'Look, I promise that I'll come back,' Sora tried to comfort, but he only managed to make the discomfort levels more unbearable.
'You promised that you'd stay forever this time too!' Kairi screamed as her tears mixed with the drops of rain that ceased to pour down her cheeks. 'How am I supposed to believe you when you say that?'
'You're not making this any easier for me,' said Sora firmly.
'And you've never made it easy for me!' Kairi exclaimed back as her sadness mixed with anger. 'I have spent a good majority of my life waiting. When I am not waiting I am worrying! I don't want to wait and worry about you forever Sora, I'm sick of it!' Kairi yelled. Sora looked down at the wet sand and tried to hold back a few more tears.
'I know, I know,' said Sora. 'I'm sorry. I'm really sorry,' said Sora quietly. Kairi shut her mouth and welcomed the pending silence with open arms. She let out a few whimpering cries and fell forward into Sora's arms. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and dropped his face into her hair. He ran one of his hands over her head to try and comfort her sadness.
'I... love you, Sora,' Kairi whispered lightly through her muffled weeping.
'I love you too Kairi, you have to believe me. I hate myself... I've always hated myself,' he muttered as he drew back from their embrace. He crouched down very slightly and took off his jacket. He draped it over her shoulders and kissed her gently on the lips. He slowly drew away and gave her a sad smile. She looked directly into his eyes and thought about nothing but the last time this same exact thing happened. Sora slowly leaned in closer to her head. He wiped her cheek, 'I'm always with you,' he whispered into her ear. He began backing up and then turned around. He started walking away and Kairi just stood there. An extremely depressed smile laced her lips.
'I'm always with you too!' She shouted back. The smile quickly gave way to the blankest expression that had ever befallen upon her face.
Riku, who had been watching from the background the whole time, stepped up to Kairi and stood beside her as they watched Sora disappear into the darkness of the night. Kairi slowly turned towards Riku and dropped her full weight into his arms. Startled slightly, he felt himself stumble back a little, but he caught her and wrapped both his arms around her shoulders. She limply held her arms by her sides and felt herself give into a full episode of tears as she cried in the night. Riku raised her up into his arms and carried her home where she spent the rest of the night in a petrified state of denial. Eventually she gave into her exhaustion and let unconsciousness take over as she drifted off into a long, dreamless sleep.