Sorry, but the DISCLAIMER got sick, and is at home barfing slugs.

(Kurt out on a path in the middle of a corn field. He looks around, but he is aaall alone.)

KURT: Evan? Evan? Err... MISTER Evan?

EVAN: (Sticking his head out from around a corner) Yeah?

KURT: (Relieved) I thought I lost you.

EVAN: What are you talking about?

KURT: I'ts just something the Professor said.

EVAN: What did he say?

KURT: He said: "Don't you lose him, Kurt Wagner." And I don't mean to.

EVAN: (Laughing) Kurt, we're still in the Shire. What could possibly happen?

(Suddenly Todd hops out of the corn field, carrying more or less a ton of candy, and crashes into Evan.

Pyro crashes into Kurt the second after, also carrying lots of candy.)

TODD: Spyke? Pyro! It's Evan Daniels!

PYRO: G'day Spyke!

KURT: Get off him! (Throws Todd of Evan) You alright?

EVAN: What's the meaning of  all this?

PYRO: Hold this. (Loads half of his candy onto Kurt)

KURT: You've been into farmer Gauntlet's crops again!

EVAN: He grows candy?

TODD: Hey, don't ask me, I'm not directing, yo!

BACKGROUND GAUNTLET: Just wait till I get you! Stay out of my fields!

(Todd grabs Evan and hops away. Of course Evan can't hop, so he's pretty much dragged off. Pyro follows, while Kurt just stares at all the candy in his hands.

Until he realizes that farmer Gauntlet has a chainsaw. Then he bamfs away with the candy.)

PYRO: Dunno why he's upset. It's only a couple of pixie sticks!

TODD: And some candy canes. And those few bags of cookies that we lifted last week, and the chocolate the week before!

PYRO: Yes! My point is, he's clearly overreacting! Run!

(Todd, Pyro and Evan manges to stay on the ground, but Kurt crashes into them from behind and knocks everyone off a cliff.)

TODD: (Looking at a bathtub right by his face) Wow! That was close!

PYRO: I think I broke something! (Pulls out a broken pixie stick with the powder running out. Very sad sight, believe me.)

KURT: Takes a Acolyte and a Brotherhood!

PYRO: What?! That was a detour, a shortcut!

KURT: A shortcut to what?

TODD: Chocolate!!

(Everyone rushes towards the chocolate, except Evan, who trips. Now he's just standing on the road, looking..)

TODD: That's mine!

PYRO: Here's a good one.

EVAN: Maybe we should get off the road.

(Sounds of a pogo stick going BOING, BOING, BOING down the road.)

EVAN: Get off the road! Now!

(Everyone grabs their stuff, crosses the road and hides under a root on the other side.)

PYRO: Get your hands of my stuff, bunyip face!

TODD: That's mine!

KURT: Shhhh! Cut it out! Be quiet!

(Todd and Pyro cuts it out. Evan looks up through a hole in the root and sees a Ringwraith, dressed in a black cloak with pink bunny ears on the hood and a bunny tail on the back.

It approaches the tree and rests its hand on the root, hissing and sniffing.)

RINGWRAITH: What IS that smell?

(Bugs and worms start crawling out of their holes. One of them is stupid enough to try crossing Todd.)

TODD: Mmmm, spider!

(Evan enters a trance, and his hand starts to move towards the Ring. Kurt realizes this and smacks Evan over the head with a fish, bringing him out out of the trance.

Pyro throws a bag into the forest to distract the Ringwraith. When it leaves to follow the sound, our heroes run run for lives!)

PYRO(After they have stopped): What was that?

EVAN: My backpack!

PYRO: Not that! What was that thing in black? A bad movie serial killer?

(Night. A Ringwraith is patrolling the area, while everyone else is hiding behind trees.)

TODD: Anything?

EVAN: Nothing.

TODD: What's going on, really?

EVAN: We're shooting Lord of –

PYRO. Not that, stupid! That black Rider was looking for something... or someone. Spiky?

KURT: Get down!

(Ringwraith passes by.)

EVAN: I have to leave town, okay? Kurt and I have to get to Cheddar.

PYRO: Riiiight.... Blackberry Ferry. Follow me.

(Our heroes make their way to Blackberry Ferry. Suddenly, another Ringwraith crosses their path and starts chasing them. Evan trips over his backpack (the one Pyro threw away),

but gets up again.)

TODD: Aaaaahh! This way, follow me! Run!

PYRO: Get the rope, Nightcrawler!

(Pyro and Kurt each uncoil an anchoring rope while Todd starts to push off.)

KURT: Evan!

TODD: I just knew we forgot something – err, someone!

EVAN: Go!

PYRO: Run Spyke!

(Evan jumps, and lands head first on the raft. The Ringwraith stops short of the water.)

RINGWRAITH: The one day I forget my swimsuit and they take a raft! What kind of a world is this?!

(The Ringwraith rides away to the left, and is followed by two others.)

EVAN: How far to the nearest crossing?

PYRO: Brandywine Bridge. Nearly twenty miles. (Grins.) To the right.