This one picks up where the last one left off. I DO NOT Own the show or the concept. I am totally broke.
Here we go…..
How Much Can One Man Handle?
We were friends until, well, I will get to that later….
But right now, I will get to the story of the kids. I did not think that this was so lucky at the time it happened. But looking back, I think that it was the best thing that ever happened to us.
I am talking about the twins and my third child being born ten months after them. In short it was pretty hectic. I mean six bottles for each of them, ten diapers for each and all the different outfits. And that was one day.
Now that got me to thinking. That was three. In short eighteen bottles and over thirty diapers. And now we have FOUR more on the way! Life just keeps getting better and better! With three toddlers walking around the place. This was going to be terrific. Just terrific!
The toddlers were still learning to use the potty, well one had it down pat, one almost did and the other would not learn at all. I think he did know how to, he just did not want to. Now three, I mean four, would have us back in diapers and bottles.
All I can say, is no more fertility drugs. And Monica even agreed with me. I mean baby loving Monica. She agreed! That was a load off of my mind. I mean I would not trade any of my kids whatsoever. But I do not want anymore. Just wait till ya hear the rest of the story.
Luckily, we even had a feeding schedule. Thank you Monica! Thanks to our friends and family, we covered the babies in shifts. Like the night feedings. One at ten pm, one at two am, one at six. Then the day would follow. Luckily we would have enough people staying at the house to help us. Although Joey has become quite adept at sneaking out.
Four babies. Match them up with Monica, me, Jack and Carle and when we can catch him, Joey. But anymore for some reason Joey has started staying around the house, helping us out. So we WILL outnumber them! HA HA HA!
Of course, Monica has somehow talked Carle into staying with us for good. I do NOT know how she did that. She just did.
I mean we were fighting all the time. The insults, the sarcasms, the jokes at the other's expenses. Finally, Monica laid down the law. In short she threatened me and used her hormones as leverage against my sister. My wife defiantly knew how to play me and Carle both.
She threatened me by making me stay on the couch and no sex until I changed. O was at least civil toward Carle. And she used tears and such for Carle.
Now about Carle's background. Her family consisted of a step father and three step brothers. So she was in the dark about females crying. She was actually scared to death of the tear factory that Monica produced. So before long, Carle and I were no longer at each other's throats.
We would soon enough treat each other like brother and sister. But we had no feelings like brother and sister. I thought of Rachel and Phoebe as more along the lines of brother and sister. But that soon changed. We soon enough were no longer friends. We soon became brother and sister.
Why you might ask. Well I will explain why. I got protective of her. I mean she was my sister.
I guess I had better explain how she happened to be my sister. Well, her mom's husband is related by blood to my father or our father. In short they are distant relations or fourth cousins.
Okay. What happened. I was three years old. Mom used me as an excuse not to go to a family reunion. Which would later on have huge impacts on me and Carle. Dad got drunk there and ended up sleeping with Carle's mom. And that is how she came to be.
Oh yeah, one more thing that made us alike. When Carle was seven, her mom ran away with her girlfriend. Or her lover. Now how ironic was that?
When our dad came to see us, Carle and I both glared at him for time and a half. Finally dad admitted he was wrong and had no idea about Carle and so forth. We both ended up forgiving him.
Now my mom is another matter. She was a bit cold towards Carle at first, and Carle was shy around her, totally unlike my sassy sister. But they soon warmed up toward each other and became friends. Not great friends, but acquaintances. What happened was that she found out that Carle was hit around a few times when she was younger.
After Carle's mom left, her father started hitting her and left her with some scars. When we found out, Joey was about to go down to Texas and kick some but. It took Carle talking him out of it. For some reason Joey calmed down. That got me to thinking.
Later on that night, I started to get protective of Carle, not only for hearing about what happened to her. I almost agreed with Joey. But also what I found out.
Anyway, later on that night…
"Joe, can I speak with you for a minute?"
"Baywatch is on."
"Outside, NOW!"
"Ok, fine. At least I am recording it." We went out to the backyard. "Now what is so important?"
I decided to get right to it. "Do you have feelings for Carle?"
"Why, I have never seen you act so big brotherly."
"Joe."
"Come on, dude, you barely get along. I mean, you both fight like cats and dogs."
"Not as much anymore."
"I noticed. Monica really rides roughshod over you and leads Carle around as well."
"Joe, that is not what I am here to talk about. Do you or do you not have feelings for Carle?"
"I just hate to hear of anyone getting hurt. That is all."
"JOEY?"
"What?"
"I have seen the way you look at her, and do NOT think I have not noticed that you have been not going out on the town."
"I just do not fell like it. I mean I want to help you and Monica with the kids."
"Sure you do. And when Carle did go out on a date, or was suppose to, you met the guy out front and told him what you would dot him if he hurt Carle."
"So? You did as well."
"Hey, I am her brother. I consider it my job."
Joey just laughed. "Dude, you realized what you just said!"
"Yes I did. Now what is your excuse?"
"Well, A:RIGHT I DO HAVE FEELINGS FOR CARLE!"
"Joey…" I did not know what else to say.
"I can not help how I feel."
"Fine, but I know your dating record."
"Don't worry, I will not treat her like the others I have dated."
"With your track record, I certainly would hope not."
"So it is ok?"
"Joey, I may be concerned about her, but I know that she is a grown woman, able to make her own choices. SO I really can not say anything. You will have to ask her if you want to date her."
"And the answer is yes." Carle had evidently headwater were talking about. "I just came out hear to tell you that Monica wants to see you, Chandler" I turned to leave. "And thanks brother, dear." She then quickly hugged me and held me tight. "No one has ever cared about me this much."
"No problem sis. Just glad that I do have a sister now."
"And I am glad I have a brother that cares for me." I kissed her forehead and went into the house.
Soon afterwards, Carle and Joey were doing everything together. They both loved basketball, Of course she loved the Bulls and he loved the Knicks. So a battle royal ensued. But they always kissed and made up. But it didn't really bother me. I mean I guess since I did not grow up with her, we both we re indifferent towards each others habits.
She became a travel agent, And loved her job. She was also there for Joey and what he did. When his family met her, they loved her. And she them.
Of course, while everything was going great, something bad just had to happen. Like Monica gave birth when she was eight months along. That was not unusual. The new doctor specialized in multiple births, at least.
What happened really threw me through a loop.
"OK, Mon. PUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!"
ARGGGGGG" Monica was starting to regret the multiple birth. And soon enough she would put the blame on me. I was kind of expecting it.
"YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Before she could go on. Another contraction hit her. "AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!"
"PUSH ,EM OUT MONICA, PUSH 'EM OUT, WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY OUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!" Monica, the doctors and the nurses all stopped what they were doing and just stared at me. "What?"
"This is not a cheering section!" The female doctor scolded me.
"You do realize that I am going to kill you after all this is done. Right?" Monica asked me. I gulped.
"Sorry." I mumbled. I just committed the unpardonable sin.
As I said, we received a surprise. The first one out was the boy. The next two were girls. Then surprisingly the next was a SON? At least we were not out numbered. Then I had a shock. Of course, it was a shock, but I was used to shocks, right? Well……
"Alright one more to go!" The doctor announced.
"But we already had four!"
"Yes, well I thought that you knew, you are having five."
"FFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!" I had to sit down really quickly. I was kind of prepared for four. But FIVE? What have I got myself into.
"FIVE?" Monica asked. "But I can't I am TOO tired."
"Sure you can, Monica. Just one more."
"But…"
"You do not have a choice, now, PUSH!!!"
Monica pulled me up by hair. "I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!"
After a bit more of yelling screaming a cursing, and that was just from me, Monica had yet to let go of my hair. Monica gave birth to a baby boy.
I then stumbled out into the hall or waiting room.
"Well?" Jack asked.
"Two girls and the rest boys." I was too scared to say anymore.
"Wow! You lucked out, Chandler. Two boys and two girls." Ross committed.
"Not two boys, three boys. " I then hit the floor in shock.
The only thing I could make out was Phoebe screaming that she wanted more. My friends and family were around me telling me to breath and asking one another if they should get me a doctor.
I finally got up and walked slowly back to the recovery room. I felt I was going on the long walk to my execution. I kept hearing dead man walking in my mind. All I could think was that if Monica was not going to kill me, then I would have to do it.
Thinking again about it, she would not kill me, she will want me around for the night feedings and diaper changes. Boy, could my life BE any more messed up than what it is now?
Well….anyone want me to go on? I mean what are they going to name them? You will see.
And that is not it for the surprises for the Bing family. How many more surprises can one family have? You might ask. Well….review and depending on how many reviews I get, I will update.
Oh, yeah, you will get to see what a day in the life is like for them. I mean three toddlers and five newborns is not all good. And the teenage years! Eight teenagers living under the same roof. Add to that the food bills, the arguments and so forth. All of it enough to drive the adults nuts. And what else will drive the adults past the brink of insanity? Take a guess.
Here we go…..
How Much Can One Man Handle?
We were friends until, well, I will get to that later….
But right now, I will get to the story of the kids. I did not think that this was so lucky at the time it happened. But looking back, I think that it was the best thing that ever happened to us.
I am talking about the twins and my third child being born ten months after them. In short it was pretty hectic. I mean six bottles for each of them, ten diapers for each and all the different outfits. And that was one day.
Now that got me to thinking. That was three. In short eighteen bottles and over thirty diapers. And now we have FOUR more on the way! Life just keeps getting better and better! With three toddlers walking around the place. This was going to be terrific. Just terrific!
The toddlers were still learning to use the potty, well one had it down pat, one almost did and the other would not learn at all. I think he did know how to, he just did not want to. Now three, I mean four, would have us back in diapers and bottles.
All I can say, is no more fertility drugs. And Monica even agreed with me. I mean baby loving Monica. She agreed! That was a load off of my mind. I mean I would not trade any of my kids whatsoever. But I do not want anymore. Just wait till ya hear the rest of the story.
Luckily, we even had a feeding schedule. Thank you Monica! Thanks to our friends and family, we covered the babies in shifts. Like the night feedings. One at ten pm, one at two am, one at six. Then the day would follow. Luckily we would have enough people staying at the house to help us. Although Joey has become quite adept at sneaking out.
Four babies. Match them up with Monica, me, Jack and Carle and when we can catch him, Joey. But anymore for some reason Joey has started staying around the house, helping us out. So we WILL outnumber them! HA HA HA!
Of course, Monica has somehow talked Carle into staying with us for good. I do NOT know how she did that. She just did.
I mean we were fighting all the time. The insults, the sarcasms, the jokes at the other's expenses. Finally, Monica laid down the law. In short she threatened me and used her hormones as leverage against my sister. My wife defiantly knew how to play me and Carle both.
She threatened me by making me stay on the couch and no sex until I changed. O was at least civil toward Carle. And she used tears and such for Carle.
Now about Carle's background. Her family consisted of a step father and three step brothers. So she was in the dark about females crying. She was actually scared to death of the tear factory that Monica produced. So before long, Carle and I were no longer at each other's throats.
We would soon enough treat each other like brother and sister. But we had no feelings like brother and sister. I thought of Rachel and Phoebe as more along the lines of brother and sister. But that soon changed. We soon enough were no longer friends. We soon became brother and sister.
Why you might ask. Well I will explain why. I got protective of her. I mean she was my sister.
I guess I had better explain how she happened to be my sister. Well, her mom's husband is related by blood to my father or our father. In short they are distant relations or fourth cousins.
Okay. What happened. I was three years old. Mom used me as an excuse not to go to a family reunion. Which would later on have huge impacts on me and Carle. Dad got drunk there and ended up sleeping with Carle's mom. And that is how she came to be.
Oh yeah, one more thing that made us alike. When Carle was seven, her mom ran away with her girlfriend. Or her lover. Now how ironic was that?
When our dad came to see us, Carle and I both glared at him for time and a half. Finally dad admitted he was wrong and had no idea about Carle and so forth. We both ended up forgiving him.
Now my mom is another matter. She was a bit cold towards Carle at first, and Carle was shy around her, totally unlike my sassy sister. But they soon warmed up toward each other and became friends. Not great friends, but acquaintances. What happened was that she found out that Carle was hit around a few times when she was younger.
After Carle's mom left, her father started hitting her and left her with some scars. When we found out, Joey was about to go down to Texas and kick some but. It took Carle talking him out of it. For some reason Joey calmed down. That got me to thinking.
Later on that night, I started to get protective of Carle, not only for hearing about what happened to her. I almost agreed with Joey. But also what I found out.
Anyway, later on that night…
"Joe, can I speak with you for a minute?"
"Baywatch is on."
"Outside, NOW!"
"Ok, fine. At least I am recording it." We went out to the backyard. "Now what is so important?"
I decided to get right to it. "Do you have feelings for Carle?"
"Why, I have never seen you act so big brotherly."
"Joe."
"Come on, dude, you barely get along. I mean, you both fight like cats and dogs."
"Not as much anymore."
"I noticed. Monica really rides roughshod over you and leads Carle around as well."
"Joe, that is not what I am here to talk about. Do you or do you not have feelings for Carle?"
"I just hate to hear of anyone getting hurt. That is all."
"JOEY?"
"What?"
"I have seen the way you look at her, and do NOT think I have not noticed that you have been not going out on the town."
"I just do not fell like it. I mean I want to help you and Monica with the kids."
"Sure you do. And when Carle did go out on a date, or was suppose to, you met the guy out front and told him what you would dot him if he hurt Carle."
"So? You did as well."
"Hey, I am her brother. I consider it my job."
Joey just laughed. "Dude, you realized what you just said!"
"Yes I did. Now what is your excuse?"
"Well, A:RIGHT I DO HAVE FEELINGS FOR CARLE!"
"Joey…" I did not know what else to say.
"I can not help how I feel."
"Fine, but I know your dating record."
"Don't worry, I will not treat her like the others I have dated."
"With your track record, I certainly would hope not."
"So it is ok?"
"Joey, I may be concerned about her, but I know that she is a grown woman, able to make her own choices. SO I really can not say anything. You will have to ask her if you want to date her."
"And the answer is yes." Carle had evidently headwater were talking about. "I just came out hear to tell you that Monica wants to see you, Chandler" I turned to leave. "And thanks brother, dear." She then quickly hugged me and held me tight. "No one has ever cared about me this much."
"No problem sis. Just glad that I do have a sister now."
"And I am glad I have a brother that cares for me." I kissed her forehead and went into the house.
Soon afterwards, Carle and Joey were doing everything together. They both loved basketball, Of course she loved the Bulls and he loved the Knicks. So a battle royal ensued. But they always kissed and made up. But it didn't really bother me. I mean I guess since I did not grow up with her, we both we re indifferent towards each others habits.
She became a travel agent, And loved her job. She was also there for Joey and what he did. When his family met her, they loved her. And she them.
Of course, while everything was going great, something bad just had to happen. Like Monica gave birth when she was eight months along. That was not unusual. The new doctor specialized in multiple births, at least.
What happened really threw me through a loop.
"OK, Mon. PUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!"
ARGGGGGG" Monica was starting to regret the multiple birth. And soon enough she would put the blame on me. I was kind of expecting it.
"YOU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Before she could go on. Another contraction hit her. "AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!"
"PUSH ,EM OUT MONICA, PUSH 'EM OUT, WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY OUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!" Monica, the doctors and the nurses all stopped what they were doing and just stared at me. "What?"
"This is not a cheering section!" The female doctor scolded me.
"You do realize that I am going to kill you after all this is done. Right?" Monica asked me. I gulped.
"Sorry." I mumbled. I just committed the unpardonable sin.
As I said, we received a surprise. The first one out was the boy. The next two were girls. Then surprisingly the next was a SON? At least we were not out numbered. Then I had a shock. Of course, it was a shock, but I was used to shocks, right? Well……
"Alright one more to go!" The doctor announced.
"But we already had four!"
"Yes, well I thought that you knew, you are having five."
"FFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!" I had to sit down really quickly. I was kind of prepared for four. But FIVE? What have I got myself into.
"FIVE?" Monica asked. "But I can't I am TOO tired."
"Sure you can, Monica. Just one more."
"But…"
"You do not have a choice, now, PUSH!!!"
Monica pulled me up by hair. "I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!"
After a bit more of yelling screaming a cursing, and that was just from me, Monica had yet to let go of my hair. Monica gave birth to a baby boy.
I then stumbled out into the hall or waiting room.
"Well?" Jack asked.
"Two girls and the rest boys." I was too scared to say anymore.
"Wow! You lucked out, Chandler. Two boys and two girls." Ross committed.
"Not two boys, three boys. " I then hit the floor in shock.
The only thing I could make out was Phoebe screaming that she wanted more. My friends and family were around me telling me to breath and asking one another if they should get me a doctor.
I finally got up and walked slowly back to the recovery room. I felt I was going on the long walk to my execution. I kept hearing dead man walking in my mind. All I could think was that if Monica was not going to kill me, then I would have to do it.
Thinking again about it, she would not kill me, she will want me around for the night feedings and diaper changes. Boy, could my life BE any more messed up than what it is now?
Well….anyone want me to go on? I mean what are they going to name them? You will see.
And that is not it for the surprises for the Bing family. How many more surprises can one family have? You might ask. Well….review and depending on how many reviews I get, I will update.
Oh, yeah, you will get to see what a day in the life is like for them. I mean three toddlers and five newborns is not all good. And the teenage years! Eight teenagers living under the same roof. Add to that the food bills, the arguments and so forth. All of it enough to drive the adults nuts. And what else will drive the adults past the brink of insanity? Take a guess.