Disclaimer: Alrighty, here we go. No ownie Vash, no ownie Legatto, no ownie Meryl, no ownie Wolfwood *Fangirlish sobs of torment*. But Ani-Date is mine, well mine and Mo's, but she said I could have it so huzzah!





Ani-Date: Trigun









Video #122: Vash the Stampede.



A fairly handsome man with amazingly spikey blonde hair sits in the chair before the camera. He has startlingly aquamarine eyes and a very dashing smile. His long red trenchcoat seems to hide his overall scrawniness, and he cooly pushes a very pimp pair of sunglasses up on his nose with the finger of one gloved hand. When he does this he accidentally slips and jabs himself in the eye, resulting in loud girlish screaming.

"Uhh sir?"

Vash looks up and starts laughing like a raving lunatic. "Mwahahahahahaha!!!! Hahahaha...hahaha..ha... I did that on purpose..." He scratches the back of his hand and frowns at the camera. "I'm never going to get a date."

"Sir, that's a pretty bad outlook on life."

He sighs, "To tell you the truth I don't think I really even deserve one. Look at me, I didn't get a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on my head for being a nice guy. I'm a danger to society, to everything. I only deserve to live because everything deserves at least that. All I do is bring pain and suffering to those around me. I'm a worthless piece of trash who doesn't deserve to be loved. Rem, Rem what should I do? I don't know-" He is violently cut off as Nicolas D Wolfwood stomps in and jabs a fist in the side of Vash's face.

"You spikey headed pansy! Quit whining and get some ass!"





Video #78: Legatto Bluesummers.



A fangirl's dream sits very calmly and very quietly in the chair before the camera. He smiles slightly and the all time coolest theme music starts playing, that whole distortion riff going on. It just screams 'Look at me, I'm so evil it's sexy.' He has jet black hair that hangs casually over one of his pair of golden eyes, and his long white coat is adorned by a series of spikes sticking out of one shoulder, it's all creepy.

"Uhh...is that a real human skull?"

Legatto looks at his jacket for a second and then back at the camera, "Why? Look like someone you know?"

"Err...no...umm...anyway, describe yourself."

Legatto just smiles, "I am Legatto Bluesummers, and I could kill everyone you have ever known with a mere thought. In fact I find the concept rather thrilling."

"Right...well anyway sir, what kind of person are you looking for?"

Legatto stops for a second and seems to twitch his eyebrow, "W-what kind...of...p-p-person?"

"Yeah, what are you looking for in a date?"

Now Leggatto's whole face starts to twitch and his head begins to jerk spasmodically to the side, "W-w-w-w.......I-I-I-I...Nerrr......."

"Umm...sir?"

With a sound somewhere between chocking on his own throat and swallowing a live piglet Legatto snaps and curls up into a fetal position, gently rubbing his hand and saying, "Knives. Knives. Knives. Knives..."





Video#123: Nicolas D Wolfwood.



Wolfwood sits back sprawled in the chair, possibly the coolest priest to ever walk the planet. Despite the ratty hair and huge nose, he has a kind of roguish good looks to him. His eyes are hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses and a bent cigarette burns between his lips. His black shirt, with obligatory white butterfly collar, hangs open to reveal some choice man-cleavage. "Hey."

"Alright sir, what do you like in a woman?"

Wolfwood arches an eyebrow and cooly pulls down his shades, "What do I like?" He laughs almost and pulls the cigarette from his mouth, showing off the nifty cross cufflinks as he does. "What do I like?" He says it like a joke, then leans forward and looks right into the camera. "Well..."

And BAM! He's out of the chair and doing possibly the worst white boy dance in human history. "I like big butts and I cannot lie! You otha brothas can't deny. When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a big thing in your face you get sprung!" He is immediately halted by a haymaker from the newly entered Vash the Stampede.

"You perverted giant nosed freak!"





Video#129: Meryl Strife.



A fairly pretty young woman with short black hair sits very straight and honest looking in the chair. She has oceanic blue eyes and a very serious, though polite, demeanor. She wears a white cape over most of her body, but navy blue tights cling to her legs like shrink wrap before they come to white riding boots. Strangely, she seems very calm and capable, not to mention sane, a rarity in Ani-Date videos.

"Please state your name Miss."

She nods, "My name is Meryl Strife."

"Alright, this is going surprisingly well... Well tell us what you would like in a partner."

She puts her finger to her chin for a moment to think and begins to list things off. "Well he'd be tall, blonde, with kind of spikey hair. I don't like long haired men, and spikes are kind of sexy. Anyway, he'd be very modest, but have a great sense of humor. He'd be great with kids, and I guess a little goofy, men are cuter that way. He'd have to be able to protect me, not that I can't handle myself but sometimes things can get a little too big for me and I'd love someone who could come rescue me when I'm in danger. I like earrings, provided they're tasteful. And oh yeah! He'd have to wear red, it really brings out his eyes..."

"Well ma'am, I think you're in luck actually. We just had a guy come in earlier today who fits that description perfectly! Let me see, his name was...umm...Vash! Vash the Stampede!"

Meryl instantly turns into uber bitch mode, "VASH THE STAMPEDE?!?!?!?! WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT THAT NOODLE NOGGIN?! HE'S STUPID, INCOMPETENT, LAZY, USELESS..." This continues on and on for quite a while until Vash can be heard screaming off camera.

"Oh crap, she's lost it again! We have to save that employee!"

"Yeah! We have to use *Pause for dramatic effect* The Secret Weapon!"

"I don't know, is it really that bad?"

On camera Meryl is strangling the helpless Ani-Date employee. "Yes, it's that bad..."

Even as the employee begins to pass out Meryl is suddenly pelted from all sides by hundreds of boxes of Midol while Vash and Wolfwood scream, "Because your period's more than a pain!"



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Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed Volume Two of The Ani-Date files, sorry it took so long to post up, but I'm currently writing Hard Candy and converting Renegade Sun from notebook to computer. Either way, it's no excuse and I seek your humble apologies. Next Time: Excel Saga. Not very popular, but only because it hasn't been around the US long enough. And trust me, it's going to be weird.