Thanks for the reviews, maties!
Chapter 11
All my love, forever
After contemplating for some while, Elizabeth made a decision. She rose from the bed, and went across to her mahogany dressing table, where she sat down at the quilted silk chair. There were four small drawers in the antique table, and she pulled the gold gilt handle of the bottom left one to reveal its contents- a beautiful, monogrammed stationary set her father had bought her when her governess was teaching her how to write letters. She selected a piece of the water marked writing paper and an elaborate quill, then began to write. The letter was long and painful, but she eventually finished, and using one of the candles from the wall sconce, sealed it with her own stamp and addressed it. She placed the letter in the secret compartment of the top left hand draw, in which she had once hidden the Aztec gold medallion. Satisfied, she went back to bed, but could not sleep.
In the morning, Elizabeth was woken by Estrella placing a basin of warm water on a cloth atop the dressing table for her to wash her face. Taking a few seconds to register who the other occupant of her bedroom was, Elizabeth sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes, and then realized it was Estrella. She quickly scrambled out of bed, rustling the bedclothes and startling the maid.
"Excuse me, Miss Swann," Estrella apologized, taking one of Elizabeth's bodices from where it was draped across the screen to be washed.
"Estrella… Estrella!" cried Elizabeth, almost tripping over her bedspread, which had fallen to the floor in her haste to prevent the maid from leaving.
"Yes ma'am?"
"I have a favour to ask of you." She wore an apologetic expression, as she didn't want to put the maid in a difficult position. Opening her dresser drawer, Elizabeth retrieved the letter from under the main compartment, and held it out to Estrella. "I appreciate that it's not your duty, but I am asking you to do this for me, not as my father's employee. Would you be so kind as to give this to Will Turner today? Without my father's knowledge?"
Estrella took the letter. It was simply address 'Will'. "I don't know, Miss…"
"Please. It's very important. And you won't get into any trouble, I promise. Please?"
"Well… very well, Miss Swann. I shall deliver it to Mr Turner today."
"Thank you so much."
"You're welcome. Is there anything else you're needing?"
"No, thank you Estrella. Oh! Do you know if Mr Sparrow has woken yet?"
"Yes, Miss, he most certainly has," Estrella said, with a giggle in her voice. Elizabeth blushed in embarrassment for whatever her guest may have done.
"Thank you. You may send Amelia in."
After Amelia, the maid servant, had helped Elizabeth to put on her corseted dress, she went downstairs for breakfast. The cook had grilled sole, and prepared fresh fruits and rough bread, and Governor Swann and Jack Sparrow were already seated at the large table. At Elizabeth's entry to the room, her father stood up to greet her, and Jack hurriedly followed suit, bowing. Elizabeth could tell by her father's expression that he was less than pleased with the company, and the tension in the room suddenly increased. After a pause, Elizabeth began to walk to the table again, and her father moved out a chair for her to sit on. Both men watched her, vying for her attention, as she served herself from the platters in the centre.
"Jack, please can you pass me an orange?" At her request, Jack reached eagerly for one of the peeled oranges, and passed it to her, smiling. "Thank you."
"Elizabeth, our talk last night-" the Governor began, but Elizabeth interrupted.
"No. I don't want to talk about it now." Silence descended on the trio again, but Jack smirked at the Governor, amused and triumphant. He received a glare in return, and went back to his plate of fruit.
That morning was uncomfortable to everybody except Jack; it seemed even the servants were subdued by the discord in the Swann household. The day passed into afternoon, and Elizabeth found the time to talk to Jack alone when her father went to visit a magistrate about suspicious imports. The pair again went to the drawing room to discuss the future, but this time Elizabeth asked for no interruptions.
"Jack, there is a slight problem," Elizabeth began, once they were seated. He looked at her with anxiety in his eyes, and she continued. "My father is not going to allow me to leave. He doesn't know whether I'm going or not at the moment, but I know he'd do everything to stop us if he knew."
"Love, there's nothing to worry about. We can escape easily enough-"
"Wait a minute Jack. I'm not so certain I can come anymore," Elizabeth told him. "You're a pirate, you belong on the sea; if you start to live on land you'll be caught."
Jack sighed in relief. Elizabeth's argument was obviously trivial: he was the great Jack Sparrow, nobody could catch him! "'Lizabeth, don't scare me like that! Living off the ocean'll be easy enough. I'll shave off this-" he gestured to his hair and beard- "change me name and we'll live where nobody knows who I am. Like London. Savvy?"
Elizabeth thought about it. When Jack put it like that, it seemed simple enough. She smiled tightly. "You're right. We'll just have to be careful."
Jack grinned. "So we're still goin'?"
She nodded. "But we still have to get away without my father knowing, which means we'll have to leave tomorrow. I'll tell him today that I've decided not to go."
"An' I'll stay somewhere else tonight," Jack added. Elizabeth felt a strange sense of loss. She had liked the thought of sleeping under the same roof as him. Jack sensed this, and grinned again. "Miss me, will ye?" Feeling indignant, she shook her head, but his grin simply widened. "Maybe I'll stay with young William," he jested.
Elizabeth turned away, annoyed. "Please don't joke about that, Jack."
His smile disappeared. "You still love him." She didn't contradict him, and he suddenly felt angry. He was offering her a chance of a new life- he was even giving up his beloved ship for her, and she was still thinking about this man who had left her.
"I can't help it. I don't want to," she lied, "but he saved my life, and we've been through a lot together. I'm just having a difficult time letting go of that."
Jack was still not happy. "I don't wan' to hear 'im mentioned again."
Elizabeth didn't want to argue with Jack, but she was angry and indignant by his arrogant attitude. "You have no right to tell me how to behave!" she shouted. They glared at each other for a few minutes, each daring the other to make the first move. Jack backed down first; Elizabeth was a stubborn girl.
"Aye, I suppose yer right, as usual. I'll find somewhere else to kip. What taverns d'yave around 'ere?"
"There's an inn down near the bakery that can rent you a room. Nobody from the Navy will go in the in there. They think it's dirty. But it'll do."
"Nofin's too 'umble for Captain Jack Sparrow!" He grinned again, trying to lighten the mood. Elizabeth relaxed slightly, but she still seemed tense, so he kissed her on the cheek before striding to the door.
"Jack!" Elizabeth stopped him just before he walked out. He spun on his heel to face her.
"Aye?"
"Be here to collect me at half past six tomorrow morning. My father sleeps until eight. I'll be waiting just outside the gates. Don't be late." Jack nodded in acknowledgement.
*****
Will had been surprised at a disturbance while he was polishing a sword he had just finished. It was midday on Sunday, and everybody but him should have been eating luncheon with their family. However, he was proved wrong when Estrella, a maid from the Governor's house, entered his shop. They had known each other since they were children and had played together, but their mild friendship had been weakened when respective jobs took them their separate ways. They had crossed paths a few times during adulthood, and shared a common understanding of each other, as they were both working class. Today, Estrella entered the smithy with a smile on her face. He put down his tools and smiled back, for the first time that day. Affectionately, they embraced briefly, and Will kissed her on the cheek in greeting.
"Estrella, it's nice to see you. How are things at the big house?" Although Will knew from Elizabeth what was going on at the Governor's house, Estrella had a completely different perspective, and would tell Will details of interest to her, but which Elizabeth would take for granted.
"It's all well. The Governor's started 'is drinkin' again, though. Keep findin' bottles of wine when I'm cleanin' under the bed." Estrella normally kept these little facts is confidence, but knew Will was no gossip.
"I see. What have you come for, Estrella?" Will saw no point in participating in small talk while he waited for the Estrella's real agenda to be revealed.
Estrella took out the letter from the folds of her dress. "From Miss Swann."
Will read the name on the envelope. "I see. She asked you to give this to me?"
"Begged me, more like." Estrella snorted. Seeing Will's apprehensive face, she changed her tone to sympathy. "I know it must be hard for you, Will. Elizabeth told me what 'appened." His eyes widened in surprise. It wasn't commonplace for the upper class to share such intimate details with their servants. Although, he thought, Estrella and Elizabeth had also known each other since they were young, so they were closer than most. "An' I know it must be terrible for you to think about. But Miss Swann loves you; she's been in a state for days. She was desperate for me to give you this letter. Just give 'er a chance."
Will was surprised that Estrella was so concerned. "Fine. I'll read it. I'll read it now if you want. But it doesn't mean anything will change."
Estrella nodded and handed the envelope over. "'Bye Will," she said, as she headed for the door. He raised his hand in farewell.
When she had gone, Will left the sweltering heat of the workshop for the small sitting room in the back. He was guaranteed privacy; Will couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Mr Brown in that room, and he would hear the opening of the heavy door if any customers entered the shop, unlikely as that was. It was modestly decorated; the floor was of old wooden boards and the walls were bare save for one silhouette sketch of a woman. This was unframed, and Will had always been slightly curious about it. But not today. The only thing that mattered at the moment was the letter. There were three padded wooden arm chairs arranged around a small table on uneven legs, on which stood an empty hip flask. Will sat down on one of the chairs, leaning so far forward that he could rest both elbows on the table, which wobbled under his touch. He turned the letter over to break the seal, and took the two folded sheets out of the envelope, and began to read.
Dear Will,
I have never told you how much I love you. Perhaps you do not want to know now, now you no longer love me back. But perhaps you do, deep in your heart. Perhaps you are trying to make me upset. Pride tells me to put this quill down now, before I do any more harm. But my heart tells me to keep writing. Do you remember the time the travelling show came to Port Royal? Do you remember when we stayed in the town square after the show had finished, and the viola player played that song just for us to dance to? The young actress had come out from her cart, dressed only in her undergarments, and sang those words as I looked into your eyes. I still remember them now.
When my breath is dying… when I can't keep the tears from my eyes… when the day comes I'll be crying… crying to you that I've never loved like this… I do not want it to end… I'll love you 'til the rose petals fall and the light dies in your eyes…and I'll die with it.
Will, I know the girl was making those words up as she sang that song, just from watching us. It sent shivers down my back. She knew how much I was in love with you. So now I'm going to tell you what she saw.
I have always loved you, and this is no insincere romantic poem that I am writing. I have never believed in love at first sight and I never will. It is not possible. But as we were growing up together, I saw how compassionate, gentle and wonderful you were, and it made me ache to be near you. When we were younger and I told you I enjoyed watching you work at the blacksmith's, I was lying. I just wanted to be with you. Every time I left you, I felt a sense of loss and longing, that was only satisfied when I saw you again. When we were together… I know no words to describe it. As we became older, I got better at knowing how to hide how much I loved you, but I felt hurt when it seemed you did not share the same feelings. You would not even call me by my first name. When I received a proposal from the Commodore, I knew there was a deadline on my love. If you did not show me the same love in seven days, I was going to try and end my feelings, and marry the man who was asking me.
The abduction changed everything, but at the time, I thought not for the better. The thought of losing you forever was far worse than marrying the Commodore, so I agreed to him to save your life. Later, when Barbossa was dead, it seemed that you were going to kiss me for a moment. But it was not to be, so I finally said goodbye to the love I had carried for you, and we returned to Port Royal. That day, I felt something had died within me, because it seemed you did not care for me.
When Jack was about to be hanged, you finally said the words I had been waiting to hear since I was a child. Elizabeth. I should have told you everyday from the moment I met you… I love you. They rang out in my mind, and I could barely believe it. The first time we kissed, I knew the empty feeling inside was gone forever.
Well, do you know something, Will? That feeling has returned. And it is worse than before. So bad I can hardly breathe at the moment. It feels good to say what I am feeling, but it does not solve the problem. Do you recall the saying, "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"? Whoever said that was wrong. The feeling of having lost you is even more terrible than the feeling of unrequited love I had before. I cannot believe I ruined what my heart had desired forever. I will love you 'til the rose petals fall and the light dies in your eyes… and I'll die with it.
I am begging, leaving my pride aside, for you to forgive me. I will make no excuses for what happened. But please, if you have any love left for me, take me back. I may be leaving Port Royal soon. That depends, partly on what I decide to do, and partly whether you decide if you can love me again. Come to the house. If I am not there, run to the harbour, and you may catch me before I sail.
If not, then goodbye. I will never forget you. Again I beg, don't think too badly of me.
I will always love you, Will.
All my love, forever,
Your Elizabeth
*****
Will the letter change Will's mind? Will Elizabeth fall for Jack? Will Governor Swann's drinking problems stop? Tune in next week to find out…
Sorry about that. Where was I. Please review, and I will try and write the next chapter up ASAP.