EPILOGUE
(Jamming with Spike)

what if a dawn of a doom of a dream
bites this universe in two,
peels forever out of his grave
and sprinkles nowhere with me and you?
blow soon to never and never to twice
(blow life to isn't: blow death to was) --
all nothing's only our hugest home;
the most who die, the more we live.

-e.e. cummings

everything that keeps me together is falling apart
I've got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over

He doesn't love you. He never will.

I always did. That ought to count for something.

It was only a ticket. You don't need it now.

It's not too late.

your heart felt good, it was dripping pitch and made of wood
and your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me

That night, I believed you loved me. Even if you couldn't say it. Even if you were afraid to think it. You wouldn't do the same to me. Would you?

And still, there's no way to break a promise that hasn't been made. I'm going to be telling myself that forever. I never promised him anything but the chance to ask you first. You never promised me anything but what you gave me.

I promised to wait. I'm waiting.

angels fly around you
reminding you we used to be three and not just two
and that's how the world began
and that's how the world will end

We're out of alignment, phase-shifted by one person, one heart. You know mine: the way I ache for you, the way everything blooms when you turn that smile on me. You know it because you felt it for him. And you know his heart as well: helpless against the desire to take what you gave, grateful for it, ashamed of the weakness and the blinding joy it brought. You know it because you felt it for me.

Am I destined to give thanks and no more to a woman who loves me, in turn?

the universe is shaped exactly like the earth – if you go straight long enough you'll end up where you were

- fin -

Excerpt from "what if a much of a which of a wind" by e.e. cummings, public domain. You need more of him in your life.

Lyrics from "Third Planet", from the Modest Mouse album The Moon and Antarctica – used without permission but with deepest respect and adoration.

Thank you to: Rissi-Sama, cowgirlnoir, www dot shut-up dot com (I don't ignore your reviews… there's just no way to contact you or even type your handle in an author comment!), Black Betty, bkgirlnews, Vicious237, degeneratebeerwench, Dr. Raven Horror PhD, Yoshi1, FIREmblemFAN, LivEvil, Lady Razorsharp, DaemonAvatar (but you should really see about that unhealthy Julia hatred), Distance, Kerrinne, Brigidforest, Kajouka, Shae Enspira, and LilMelfina64, who stuck with me through my ridiculously uneven posting schedule and reminded me along the way that being a writer means letting go of your creations and giving them to your audience without jealousy.