Okay, here we go again... I just want to say that I don't know how many more
chapters I will be adding (I don't anticipate it to be too many) I have a
specific direction I'm going with this story, so I can't promise you all it
will be too long... if it were, it might become [too] repetitive!
(Thanks saved-by-grace for pointing out my error!)
So, here it is: Review it please, it makes me smile!
Make it All Make Sense (Chapter 3)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A smile is something one often takes for granted. It seems as though humans will always be capable of producing a smile, but Elizabeth Corday had found fault in that assertion. She knew now that a smile was not something that would always be there. She knew because it hadn't been there for her for a very long time.
She could remember nearly all of the times she'd smiled... when she'd been so incredibly happy. But, for the life of her, she couldn't remember when the last time had been. A smile hadn't graced her beautiful face for what seemed like an eternity. Sure, she had given small smiles of acknowledgement, but she hadn't truly and genuinely smiled in over a year.
She didn't have the strength to smile. But mostly, she didn't have the desire. The truth, quite frankly, is that Elizabeth saw nothing to smile about.
She recalled her childhood, growing up she had been so happy, so idealistic, so... naïve. She had smiled carelessly, blissfully unaware of all the pain and despair around her. Death, though sad, didn't seem to be finality. She'd lost loved ones before, of course, aunts, uncles, grandparents, but it always seemed as though it wasn't over. She missed them on occasion, but generally, she didn't think of them on a daily basis. And, she guessed, it was the same with everyone. When it comes to death, everyone has their moments when they think of a loved one that has passed on, and they have a good cry.
Elizabeth had been crying for more than a year.
She never seemed to be the weak type, the type to just break down. But, love had changed her. Mark had changed her. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think of him, how he made her laugh, how he made her smile, how he made her feel loved, and wanted, and complete, and whole... how he'd made her feel. Just plain and simple. How he'd made her feel.
Before Mark Elizabeth didn't know if she could feel. Truly, and honestly feel. She'd never been one to hold on to relationships, or be sad when they came to an end. But, as it were, Mark had changed her.
And even through his death, he had changed her. He had made her feel. In fact, he had made her feel more than she'd ever wanted to in her entire life.
She hated it.
But she loved him. And that was why she was torn up inside.
The morning after her conversation with Robert was a cloudy day, with remnants of the storm before looming outside in the still air.
It had felt... relieving to tell someone what was in her heart. It had been nice to finally let someone see her cry, to allow someone else to view her pain.
Why it had been Robert, she didn't know. All she knew was that though he was seen as a dispassionate man, hell-bent on making everyone miserable, he was also, at times, an exceedingly nice man, and a good friend.
Robert was a nice man, she had come to decide.
She was both pleased and disturbed when she realized that her thoughts had turned away from Mark, but she was somewhat disturbed at the realization that they had veered towards Robert.
The truth was: Elizabeth wanted to move on. She wanted to be over Mark, and she knew that wherever Mark was now, he wanted her to be over him. But though it was what her heart, and her soul desperately desired, she was unable to even imagine being with someone else. It frightened her to no end.
She had been clinging to the hope that perhaps it was all a dream... that maybe some mistake had been made, and Mark would be there waiting for her when she got home. She always felt the tears return to her eyes as she entered the house, and came to the realization that Mark wasn't there, and that he never would be again.
Her heart always ached as she walked alone into the house that death had left so empty.
She struggled with her routine every single morning as she awoke from dreams of Mark and his wonderful love. The illusion her dreams created always sent a pang of suffering into the depths of her soul. And she generally started her mornings off in tears, the painful reverie of a wonderful life broken by the twinge of reality.
Reality. She had come to hate it. Despise it with every fiber of her being. It was the only thing that told her she could never again be with Mark.
But though the clouds loomed in the morning stillness, the day after she shared her pain, the rain was held in. And so were Elizabeth's tears. Her life was still bleak and miserly, but the rain of tears that flowed freely from her eyes each morning was held at bay.
Hope was something that still eluded both her, and the sun in the Chicago sky. She couldn't hold onto something that wasn't there, and she had come to know that there was no hope. She didn't think there ever would be again.
So she did what she did every single day since Mark's death...
She woke up.
She cried.
She got ready.
She cried.
She went to work.
She cried.
She came home.
She cried.
She went to sleep.
She cried.
It was an endless cycle of despair, made even more sorrowful by the desire she had to let go. She wanted so badly to let go, but her mind, her body, her soul, her brain, and her shattered heart made her hold on. The mechanics of her surgeon's body weren't acquainted with reality.
Reality was something she didn't want to face.
But everyday when those tears rolled endlessly down her cheeks, she faced it. With every fiber of her being she faced it.
And, like the sun in Chicago's skies, the clouds continued to bear down on her life.
And the idea of hope became even more distant with every passing day...
Over and over again she was spiraling into nothing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
To be continued.
There should really only be about two, possibly three chapters after this... if y'all want it to continue...
But, in order for me to know what y'all want, you have to tell me.
In short: Review... it makes me laugh and cry with joy! : )
Anybody figure out the song yet? Huh, huh, huh? (You shouldn't have, I haven't given many clues.) But if you think you know... SHHHH.... And E-mail me with your guess! : )
Review Review Review!
~Natalie~
(Thanks saved-by-grace for pointing out my error!)
So, here it is: Review it please, it makes me smile!
Make it All Make Sense (Chapter 3)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A smile is something one often takes for granted. It seems as though humans will always be capable of producing a smile, but Elizabeth Corday had found fault in that assertion. She knew now that a smile was not something that would always be there. She knew because it hadn't been there for her for a very long time.
She could remember nearly all of the times she'd smiled... when she'd been so incredibly happy. But, for the life of her, she couldn't remember when the last time had been. A smile hadn't graced her beautiful face for what seemed like an eternity. Sure, she had given small smiles of acknowledgement, but she hadn't truly and genuinely smiled in over a year.
She didn't have the strength to smile. But mostly, she didn't have the desire. The truth, quite frankly, is that Elizabeth saw nothing to smile about.
She recalled her childhood, growing up she had been so happy, so idealistic, so... naïve. She had smiled carelessly, blissfully unaware of all the pain and despair around her. Death, though sad, didn't seem to be finality. She'd lost loved ones before, of course, aunts, uncles, grandparents, but it always seemed as though it wasn't over. She missed them on occasion, but generally, she didn't think of them on a daily basis. And, she guessed, it was the same with everyone. When it comes to death, everyone has their moments when they think of a loved one that has passed on, and they have a good cry.
Elizabeth had been crying for more than a year.
She never seemed to be the weak type, the type to just break down. But, love had changed her. Mark had changed her. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think of him, how he made her laugh, how he made her smile, how he made her feel loved, and wanted, and complete, and whole... how he'd made her feel. Just plain and simple. How he'd made her feel.
Before Mark Elizabeth didn't know if she could feel. Truly, and honestly feel. She'd never been one to hold on to relationships, or be sad when they came to an end. But, as it were, Mark had changed her.
And even through his death, he had changed her. He had made her feel. In fact, he had made her feel more than she'd ever wanted to in her entire life.
She hated it.
But she loved him. And that was why she was torn up inside.
The morning after her conversation with Robert was a cloudy day, with remnants of the storm before looming outside in the still air.
It had felt... relieving to tell someone what was in her heart. It had been nice to finally let someone see her cry, to allow someone else to view her pain.
Why it had been Robert, she didn't know. All she knew was that though he was seen as a dispassionate man, hell-bent on making everyone miserable, he was also, at times, an exceedingly nice man, and a good friend.
Robert was a nice man, she had come to decide.
She was both pleased and disturbed when she realized that her thoughts had turned away from Mark, but she was somewhat disturbed at the realization that they had veered towards Robert.
The truth was: Elizabeth wanted to move on. She wanted to be over Mark, and she knew that wherever Mark was now, he wanted her to be over him. But though it was what her heart, and her soul desperately desired, she was unable to even imagine being with someone else. It frightened her to no end.
She had been clinging to the hope that perhaps it was all a dream... that maybe some mistake had been made, and Mark would be there waiting for her when she got home. She always felt the tears return to her eyes as she entered the house, and came to the realization that Mark wasn't there, and that he never would be again.
Her heart always ached as she walked alone into the house that death had left so empty.
She struggled with her routine every single morning as she awoke from dreams of Mark and his wonderful love. The illusion her dreams created always sent a pang of suffering into the depths of her soul. And she generally started her mornings off in tears, the painful reverie of a wonderful life broken by the twinge of reality.
Reality. She had come to hate it. Despise it with every fiber of her being. It was the only thing that told her she could never again be with Mark.
But though the clouds loomed in the morning stillness, the day after she shared her pain, the rain was held in. And so were Elizabeth's tears. Her life was still bleak and miserly, but the rain of tears that flowed freely from her eyes each morning was held at bay.
Hope was something that still eluded both her, and the sun in the Chicago sky. She couldn't hold onto something that wasn't there, and she had come to know that there was no hope. She didn't think there ever would be again.
So she did what she did every single day since Mark's death...
She woke up.
She cried.
She got ready.
She cried.
She went to work.
She cried.
She came home.
She cried.
She went to sleep.
She cried.
It was an endless cycle of despair, made even more sorrowful by the desire she had to let go. She wanted so badly to let go, but her mind, her body, her soul, her brain, and her shattered heart made her hold on. The mechanics of her surgeon's body weren't acquainted with reality.
Reality was something she didn't want to face.
But everyday when those tears rolled endlessly down her cheeks, she faced it. With every fiber of her being she faced it.
And, like the sun in Chicago's skies, the clouds continued to bear down on her life.
And the idea of hope became even more distant with every passing day...
Over and over again she was spiraling into nothing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
To be continued.
There should really only be about two, possibly three chapters after this... if y'all want it to continue...
But, in order for me to know what y'all want, you have to tell me.
In short: Review... it makes me laugh and cry with joy! : )
Anybody figure out the song yet? Huh, huh, huh? (You shouldn't have, I haven't given many clues.) But if you think you know... SHHHH.... And E-mail me with your guess! : )
Review Review Review!
~Natalie~