Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  "Good-bye to you" belongs to Michelle Branch….

Chapter Two

            Lily's dreams were troubled.  She kept reliving the previous night's events.  Whether it was her imagination or not, she kept seeing James fighting Voldemort, and then being killed.  Luckily she was awoken by her son's shouts from him in her arms.  She fell asleep rocking him. 

            When she opened her eyes she knew where she was, but wasn't sure why she was there.  The events of the night before flooded back to her.  A single tear fell from her bright green eyes.  She still had to come to term with the fact that James wasn't going to help her feed Harry, or surprise her in the shower, or to be right there next to her when she awoke in the morning, or that he wouldn't try to surprise her by making dinner and almost burning the house down, or try to convince her to let Sirius baby sit Harry, or to organize their friends to throw her a surprise party or…the list went on and on. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*FLASHBACK*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            It was soon to be Lily's 20th birthday.  James had wanted it to be something that she could remember forever.  She was six months pregnant; he got all their friends together while she was visiting with her parents.  He arranged for him to take her out shopping for baby things (her favorite activity these days) and when the arrived back everything would be ready. 

            On her birthday, Lily awoke to the smell of eggs being scrambled, toast toasting, pancakes being fried, and waffles being ironed.   She heard indistinctive mumbling.  Grudgingly, she got up; she didn't want to get out of her nice warm bed.  When she got to the top of the stairs she heard James telling someone to 'be quiet so as to not wake Lily up'

            After hearing that, Lily crawled back into her bed, and pretended to be asleep.  After at most three minutes of this, Lily was bored out of her mind.  She took out her journal from under her pillow and started writing.

                   May 2nd, 1980

Dear Diary,

            Today is my birthday!  I'm now twenty years old.  Apparently James is trying to make me breakfast.  He appears to be doing a pretty good job. I don't see any smoke, and I can smell the food. Which at this point I can't eat.  Why can't I eat it you ask?  Well I think James wants to give me breakfast in bed.  Oh look, here he comes now.  Won't he be surprised to see me already up and writing?

I might as well tell you what's new with the baby.  Last night while James and I were at Li and Siri's the baby kicked. He has very strong little legs.  He wouldn't stop.  You'd think he was playing soccer…

Anyway... James has made me scrambled eggs, toast, pancakes, and waffles.  I know I'm eating for two, but what is he trying to do?  Make me as big as a house?!? Oh well.  He is saying something about going shopping today.  Weird, usually we do something more romantic on my birthday.  Oh well, now he's saying something about it being rude for me to be writing while he's talking.  I guess I have to go…Lily

James had come in.  He brought all the food that he had so painstakingly made for his wife.  He even had Remus come over to help, and make sure there was no way Lily would be poisoned, like last time.

"How's my Birthday Girl?"

"Tired and hungry.  And you, love?" she said as she tried to get up.

"Don't waste your energy getting up.  I made you an exceptional breakfast.  I hope you like it."  She looked down at the food worriedly.  "Don't worry.  I had Remus help, so as not to poison you.  Eat up."

"James you made too much!  I know I am eating for two, but how am I supposed to eat all this?!?  Have half of it, please Jamie?" she put on a little frown, and gave him puppy dog eyes. 

"How's this, you eat your fill, then I'll eat your leftovers?"

"So then you'd be a garbage can?"

"In a way, yes."

"Oh goody, I'm having a baby with a garbage can."

"Whether or not I'm a garbage can, I love you."

"I love you too.  Come here so I can give you a kiss."

"How about no?  I'll come over there and give you a kiss."

"Fine." 

He came over and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek.  

"Since it's your birthday, I was thinking that we could go get the baby more stuff.  What do you think?"
            "Okay I guess.  Just let me get dressed, okay?"

"Of course.  I don't want you or the baby getting sick."

After an hour or two of shopping, an exhausted Lily and James walked into their house.  There was a deafening screech of "SURPRISE!!!"  There in their house, was Gabriella, Genevieve, Remus, Maria, Sirius, Lilac,

Lily turned to James and asked "Were you in on this?"

James in turn nodded apologetically.  Lily started laughing. 

"Here Lils, try some punch." Sirius offered.

"Umm, sure Siri." She took a tentative sip.  "That was the best punch I have ever had!"

"Forget about food, open some presents!" 

"Li, how old are we?"

"Three?"

"Let me rephrase the question." She thought a moment.  "How old am I now?"

"Three?"

"If so, then I agree!  I'll open my presents."

As Lily made to sit down on the floor, James said "Lily, shouldn't you sit on the throne that was made especially for you?  We all worked so hard to make it, why don't you sit in it?" he gave her a sad, puppy dog face.

"Fine." She walked to the red and gold throne that was in a corner.  Right before she sat down, she was robed and crowned.  She slowly one by one, started to open her presets. 

After everybody had left, Lily went up to James and gave him a kiss, which he willingly returned.  "Thanks Jamie.  I really had fun.  Do you want some help cleaning up?"

"Lils, how can I ask you to work?  You're six months pregnant, and it's your birthday.  I say you should go to bed, and go to sleep instead of writing in your diary.  Good night.  I love you."

"Love you too. (A bushel and a peck, and a hug around the neck…. Sorry, I couldn't resist….) g'night."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*END FLASHBACK*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            Tears rapidly coursed down Lily's cheeks.  She felt as though she was doomed.  Over the course of one night, she had lost her world.  That world had come tumbling down. 

            While she carried Harry downstairs, she heard bits of a conversation. 

            "What are we going to do, Li?"

            "What do you mean, Siri?"

            "Well, I know that he would want a funeral…should we make arrangements?"

            "No.  Let her make them…she needs closure.  And after all he was her husband…"

            Lily walked into the kitchen, Li and Sirius could tell that she hadn't slept very well; by the fact that her normally emerald eyes, were now red. 

            "'Morning Lils"

            "Rise and shine Lily" Lily gave Sirius a death glare.

"Rise maybe, but how can I shine? My husband is dead.  The man I love, the father of my son is gone…"

  "I didn't mean it figuratively…"

            Lily sat down at the table, trying to subdue a squirming Harry. 

            "Lils, I hate to bring this up-"

            "-Then please don't, Li"

            "I think I had better… Lily, there is the desolate job of arranging James' funeral…" she broke off.  Tears streamed down Lily's face.  "If you can't, we totally understand, and will help, or arrange it for you…"

            "Thanks guys, but I think I should do that alone…I feel-I don't know how I feel…"

(A/N: I can't write the planning of the funeral…I thankfully hasn't needed to plan one…I'm skipping straight to the funeral itself.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*AT THE FUNERAL*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

            "…And now a few words from, James Potter's widow, Lily." Lily, wearing a long black dress with matching black gloves, and a hat that had netting to cover her face handed Harry over to Sirius and got up to address those who had come to pay their last respects to her late husband.

            "I would first like to thank you all for coming.  James, aside from being my husband was my friend.  While at school, we fell in love.  He has always stood beside me, to help me, to hold me, and to guide me.  He saved my life, more times than I can count.  In more ways than one.  If it weren't for him, I'd be dead right now.

"Last week was our third wedding anniversary.  He told me to take Harry and run.  I didn't question.  I fled with Harry.  We got out to safety.  But James didn't…

"I feel as though that this is just a dream, I hope that it's just a nightmare, I want to wake up and see his eyes peering into mine.  I want him back, at least just for one more day.  I hope that I'll just wake up.  Yet at the same time there is part of me that knows that this is the harsh reality that I must face.  It's those times that I feel as though, there's nothing I can do-I feel the weight of this reality." Lily broke off.  "I miss him…the worst part of this is that he's never going to see our little Harry grow up, to be just like him.  That he will never get to teach Harry to be a little hell raiser."

            Lily stepped down, and took Harry back from Sirius.  Sirius made his speech, and most everyone left.  It was just Lily, Sirius, Remus, Lilac, Maria, Genevieve, Gabriella, and the children. 

            Everyone except Lily started to get ready to go.  Lily sat in the front pew, holding Harry tightly to her chest, and stared ahead of her, her eyes were out of focus. 

            "Lils are you okay?" asked Remus.

            "As well as can be expected…"

            "Can I do anything for you?"

            "Can you bring him back to me?"

            "You know that I can't.  And that if I could, he'd be right next to you now…is there anything else?"
            "Yes actually.  Could you watch Harry for me?  There is something I must do."

            "You're not going to try to kill yourself again, are you?"

            "No, I couldn't you know that.  I have Harry to take care of.  James gave his life so that we could live."

            "No one knows what will or won't do when you've lost someone you love.  Remember Charlotte?  You nearly killed yourself."

            "Remie that was different."

            "Not really.  Except this time, you've lost someone who was there with you through that, and much more."

            "Remus, would you just trust me?  Could you please just watch Harry?"

            "Yes."

            "Thank you."  With that, Lily left.  She walked out to James' grave.  She knelt down next to it, and started weeping.  She couldn't believe that he was gone.  "Oh James.  How could you leave me?  How could you leave Harry?  He needs you.  Why couldn't we have at the very least just one more night?  Why us?  Why on our anniversary?  James, why you?  Why couldn't have been me?  I don't deserve to be here; you do." 

            It started to rain.  Lily, however didn't seem to notice.  She sat right where she was, and cried.  Her tears mixed with the rain, rolling down her cheeks.

She started to sing:

"Good-bye to you

Good-bye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing I tried to hold on to"

            Still, Lily did not get up.  Then all of a sudden, she heard someone calling her name.  She looked in all directions, until she saw the one person that she wanted to see more than anyone else; James.  She got up, and started running towards him.