Blue Ribbon by Gir Obsessor
disclaimer: all Invader Zim characters are copyright Jhonen Vasquez
Dib had been his problem ever since he stepped foot on Earth.
He was always wrecking his missions, and when he tried, he was never able to destroy Dib.
Dib, the name itself bothered him, but not for long.
"The time machine is completed" Zim announced to his small brained robot assistant, Gir.
"Oooohhh, it's so pretty!" Gir said, "It's my new bestest friend!"
"nonsense, the time porthole alteration device is merely here to get rid of the Earth fool Dib"
"But I thought he wasn't a threat to the mission, and he's got a big head. IT'S SO BIG!" Gir did a little dance.
"yes yes, well he's quite annoying, so I must take care of him once and for all. Understand Gir?"
Gir looked around the lab, "My taquitos! WHERE ARE MY TAQUITOS!!!!" Gir ran screaming out of the lab.
Zim sighed, stupid robot. At least he'd soon have one less thing to worry about.
The device was simple to operate, all that needed to be one done was to select a person, place, and time then press the red button. It was so simple; Gir could operate it.
Zim heard something explode behind him. Well...everyone besides Gir could operate it; he corrected himself.
***
Dib anxiously waited for Mysterious Mysteries to be on. He was sure they would find bigfoot today.
***
"NOW! The time has come!" Zim said with much enthusiasm in his voice. He selected the time, 1945 BC, the person, Dib, and the location, Denmark. The whole country was covered in ice back then.
"Sending Dib to the ice age will be my greatest victory yet" Zim said triumphantly
"REALLY?!" GIR exclaimed
"yes really" Zim said
"OOOOhhhh!" Gir looked at Zim for a moment, "BOO! did I scare you?"
"No" Zim said stubbornly, "Now go do something else"
Gir threw his pig up in the air.
Zim didn't notice but Gir's pig hit a button on the time porthole alteration device.
Zim shook his head, that stupid robot, well now he could get rid of Dib. Zim pressed the red button on the machine. "I am so amazing"
Dib noticed the TV started to get blurry, what a weird special effect.
Suddenly, Dib realized the whole room was getting blurry.
"W-what's going on?" Dib asked no one in particular.
Dib closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he wasn't in his living room anymore.
Where am I? Dib asked himself, the place didn't look familiar, there weren't many cars on the road, nor were there many stores. The stores they did have only sold groceries, clothes, and things like that. I don't get it. Dib thought, One minute I'm watching Mysterious Mysteries; the next I'm on another planet.
Hey wait, another planet...Zim.
Dib hit himself in the head, Zim! It was so obvious, he had done something and now...oh well, all Dib had to do is find out where he was and then find his way back home. It should only take a day or two.
"Nice try Zim, but you'll never outsmart me!" Dib said to himself.
Dib walked into one of the grocery stores and decided he needed to get a newspaper.
The display rack said 15 cents each. Dib looked in his pocket, 1.50. Fifteen cents for a newspaper, Where was he?
Dib grabbed one of the newspapers and walked over to the check out counter.
Is this a joke? Dib looked at the counter. It was just a table with an adding machine on it. Didn't these places use computers?
"That'll be fifteen cents, please." The guy at the counter told Dib
Dib laid a quarter on the table.
the guy laughed, "Nice try kid, but you need real money"
"what are you talking about?" Dib asked the guy
"this quarter says 2002 on it, I'm not stupid kid, I know it's the year 1945"
Dib grabbed the quarter and put it in his pocket; he walked away from the counter. What a weirdo, he thought.
Dib stopped when he saw the dollar bill lying on the floor. He picked it up and looked at the date, 1943.
No...it can't be.
"Oh no, it's gone!" Dib heard someone behind him say.
"I can't believe I lost it!" a girl said, "My mom is not going to be happy...a whole dollar, gone!"
Dib walked over to girl and handed her the dollar, "Here, I found it on the ground."
The girl's face lit up, "Thank you!" she said, "I can't believe you returned it!"
"No big deal," Dib said, "It's just a dollar."
The girl looked at him, "You're a sweet person." She handed her dollar to the man at the check out and then grabbed her groceries.
Maybe this girl knows something about how I can get back home...
"Let me help you" Dib offered, and grabbed some of the girl's groceries.
"Thank you." the girl said sweetly, "By the way, I'm Hannah"
"I'm Dib" Dib looked at Hannah, she had beautiful blue eyes that looked like they could light up a room. She was wearing a gray, wool skirt that went down to her knees and a white sweatshirt. She wore black shoes with a silver buckle. And her blonde hair was pulled back in a sky colored lace ribbon.
"Well Dib" Hannah said. "You're a very kind person"
"Thanks" Dib said; he saw that there was a newspaper in Hannah's hand. "You mind if I look at that?"
"Not at all." Hannah handed Dib the paper.
Dib looked at the date on the front page, Sunday May 14th 1945, "Is this date right?"
Hannah looked at the paper, "Yeah, why?"
"I thought it was the fifteenth." Dib lied, "You know, I think that ribbon looks nice in your hair." Dib said, then immediately wondered why.
"Thank you." Hannah said politely, "You know, I rather like those boots."
"Oh yeah, thanks, I like 'em a lot too." Dib said.
"Is that real rubber?"
Dib looked at her, "What?"
"Is that real rubber?" Hannah asked again.
"Um...yeah, I think so."
"Wow, they're really nice."
"Thanks." Dib said.
Hannah walked up to her front door, "Would you like to come inside?" she asked.
"Oh, sure" Dib walked in.
Hannah's mother almost immediately came to the front door. "Where have you been?!" She said, very high-sprung, "It's been nearly a half hour! And who is this stranger you dragged home?" She asked, looking disapprovingly at Dib's boots.
"I'm sorry I'm late Mom, this is Dib." Hannah said.
Hannah's mother grabbed the groceries. She mumbled, "Should be saving that rubber for the war." as she walked into the kitchen.
"Pay no attention to my mother," Hannah said, "she's been grumpy ever since father." She seemed to get lost in that word.
Dib listened to his better judgment and didn't ask about Hannah's father.
***
"WHAT IS THIS!" Zim screamed, "Dib is supposed to be freezing to death and instead he's in the 40's?! Who could have ruined my perfect plan?!" There was no need to answer that; he already knew.
"GIR!" Zim screamed.
Gir fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. "Yes master?" The upside-down Gir asked.
"What did you do?" Zim demanded, "You've ruined my perfect plan! Dib could be dead by now if it wasn't for you!"
Gir started bawling, "I'm so sorry master!!!!" He looked up, "What did I do?"
"I don't know yet, but it was your fault." Zim said. He sighed, "I guess I'll just have to fix this." Suddenly the doorbell rang.
Zim put his disguise on quick and headed upstairs. He opened the door and to his surprise; Gaz was there.
"Zim!" She said, "I don't know what you did," She pointed her finger at him, "but whatever you did, it was the greatest thing ever!" She screamed.
"What?" Zim said, confused.
"Thanks to you, Dib is gone! GONE! I'll never have to see his big head again!" Gaz rejoiced.
"Hey wait, how do you know that he's gone?"
"Dad said he thought that Dib went to a friend's house. Dib has no friends!"
"But how do you know I did it?"
"Well, I know that you and me are the only two people smart enough to know how to get rid of him for good."
"Hey, how did you know where I live!?"
"I didn't, I just knocked on every door in town until I found your house."
"Hmmm...Impressive." Zim said. "But anyway, I meant to freeze him to death."
"That's good too." Gaz said.
"Yes, he was accidentally sent to 1945 AD instead of BC, but before I can make the change I have to bring him back."
"Wait!" Gaz said.
"Yes? What?"
"Maybe we should just leave him there. I mean, it's 1945! We'll never see him again!"
Zim thought about it, "Hmm, it does seem like it would work...all right, I'll do it." Zim said. He laughed, "To think we're the only two people in the world that can send him back here!"
"Wait, how can I send him back?"
"It's simple, you'd just have to grab a personal possession of his and wish him to be back, or something." Zim explained.
Gaz laughed, "He's stuck! Stuck in 1945!"
Gaz and Zim laughed cruelly.
***
Well there's chapter one for you. Chapter two coming...when I get it done.
disclaimer: all Invader Zim characters are copyright Jhonen Vasquez
Dib had been his problem ever since he stepped foot on Earth.
He was always wrecking his missions, and when he tried, he was never able to destroy Dib.
Dib, the name itself bothered him, but not for long.
"The time machine is completed" Zim announced to his small brained robot assistant, Gir.
"Oooohhh, it's so pretty!" Gir said, "It's my new bestest friend!"
"nonsense, the time porthole alteration device is merely here to get rid of the Earth fool Dib"
"But I thought he wasn't a threat to the mission, and he's got a big head. IT'S SO BIG!" Gir did a little dance.
"yes yes, well he's quite annoying, so I must take care of him once and for all. Understand Gir?"
Gir looked around the lab, "My taquitos! WHERE ARE MY TAQUITOS!!!!" Gir ran screaming out of the lab.
Zim sighed, stupid robot. At least he'd soon have one less thing to worry about.
The device was simple to operate, all that needed to be one done was to select a person, place, and time then press the red button. It was so simple; Gir could operate it.
Zim heard something explode behind him. Well...everyone besides Gir could operate it; he corrected himself.
***
Dib anxiously waited for Mysterious Mysteries to be on. He was sure they would find bigfoot today.
***
"NOW! The time has come!" Zim said with much enthusiasm in his voice. He selected the time, 1945 BC, the person, Dib, and the location, Denmark. The whole country was covered in ice back then.
"Sending Dib to the ice age will be my greatest victory yet" Zim said triumphantly
"REALLY?!" GIR exclaimed
"yes really" Zim said
"OOOOhhhh!" Gir looked at Zim for a moment, "BOO! did I scare you?"
"No" Zim said stubbornly, "Now go do something else"
Gir threw his pig up in the air.
Zim didn't notice but Gir's pig hit a button on the time porthole alteration device.
Zim shook his head, that stupid robot, well now he could get rid of Dib. Zim pressed the red button on the machine. "I am so amazing"
Dib noticed the TV started to get blurry, what a weird special effect.
Suddenly, Dib realized the whole room was getting blurry.
"W-what's going on?" Dib asked no one in particular.
Dib closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he wasn't in his living room anymore.
Where am I? Dib asked himself, the place didn't look familiar, there weren't many cars on the road, nor were there many stores. The stores they did have only sold groceries, clothes, and things like that. I don't get it. Dib thought, One minute I'm watching Mysterious Mysteries; the next I'm on another planet.
Hey wait, another planet...Zim.
Dib hit himself in the head, Zim! It was so obvious, he had done something and now...oh well, all Dib had to do is find out where he was and then find his way back home. It should only take a day or two.
"Nice try Zim, but you'll never outsmart me!" Dib said to himself.
Dib walked into one of the grocery stores and decided he needed to get a newspaper.
The display rack said 15 cents each. Dib looked in his pocket, 1.50. Fifteen cents for a newspaper, Where was he?
Dib grabbed one of the newspapers and walked over to the check out counter.
Is this a joke? Dib looked at the counter. It was just a table with an adding machine on it. Didn't these places use computers?
"That'll be fifteen cents, please." The guy at the counter told Dib
Dib laid a quarter on the table.
the guy laughed, "Nice try kid, but you need real money"
"what are you talking about?" Dib asked the guy
"this quarter says 2002 on it, I'm not stupid kid, I know it's the year 1945"
Dib grabbed the quarter and put it in his pocket; he walked away from the counter. What a weirdo, he thought.
Dib stopped when he saw the dollar bill lying on the floor. He picked it up and looked at the date, 1943.
No...it can't be.
"Oh no, it's gone!" Dib heard someone behind him say.
"I can't believe I lost it!" a girl said, "My mom is not going to be happy...a whole dollar, gone!"
Dib walked over to girl and handed her the dollar, "Here, I found it on the ground."
The girl's face lit up, "Thank you!" she said, "I can't believe you returned it!"
"No big deal," Dib said, "It's just a dollar."
The girl looked at him, "You're a sweet person." She handed her dollar to the man at the check out and then grabbed her groceries.
Maybe this girl knows something about how I can get back home...
"Let me help you" Dib offered, and grabbed some of the girl's groceries.
"Thank you." the girl said sweetly, "By the way, I'm Hannah"
"I'm Dib" Dib looked at Hannah, she had beautiful blue eyes that looked like they could light up a room. She was wearing a gray, wool skirt that went down to her knees and a white sweatshirt. She wore black shoes with a silver buckle. And her blonde hair was pulled back in a sky colored lace ribbon.
"Well Dib" Hannah said. "You're a very kind person"
"Thanks" Dib said; he saw that there was a newspaper in Hannah's hand. "You mind if I look at that?"
"Not at all." Hannah handed Dib the paper.
Dib looked at the date on the front page, Sunday May 14th 1945, "Is this date right?"
Hannah looked at the paper, "Yeah, why?"
"I thought it was the fifteenth." Dib lied, "You know, I think that ribbon looks nice in your hair." Dib said, then immediately wondered why.
"Thank you." Hannah said politely, "You know, I rather like those boots."
"Oh yeah, thanks, I like 'em a lot too." Dib said.
"Is that real rubber?"
Dib looked at her, "What?"
"Is that real rubber?" Hannah asked again.
"Um...yeah, I think so."
"Wow, they're really nice."
"Thanks." Dib said.
Hannah walked up to her front door, "Would you like to come inside?" she asked.
"Oh, sure" Dib walked in.
Hannah's mother almost immediately came to the front door. "Where have you been?!" She said, very high-sprung, "It's been nearly a half hour! And who is this stranger you dragged home?" She asked, looking disapprovingly at Dib's boots.
"I'm sorry I'm late Mom, this is Dib." Hannah said.
Hannah's mother grabbed the groceries. She mumbled, "Should be saving that rubber for the war." as she walked into the kitchen.
"Pay no attention to my mother," Hannah said, "she's been grumpy ever since father." She seemed to get lost in that word.
Dib listened to his better judgment and didn't ask about Hannah's father.
***
"WHAT IS THIS!" Zim screamed, "Dib is supposed to be freezing to death and instead he's in the 40's?! Who could have ruined my perfect plan?!" There was no need to answer that; he already knew.
"GIR!" Zim screamed.
Gir fell from the ceiling and landed on his head. "Yes master?" The upside-down Gir asked.
"What did you do?" Zim demanded, "You've ruined my perfect plan! Dib could be dead by now if it wasn't for you!"
Gir started bawling, "I'm so sorry master!!!!" He looked up, "What did I do?"
"I don't know yet, but it was your fault." Zim said. He sighed, "I guess I'll just have to fix this." Suddenly the doorbell rang.
Zim put his disguise on quick and headed upstairs. He opened the door and to his surprise; Gaz was there.
"Zim!" She said, "I don't know what you did," She pointed her finger at him, "but whatever you did, it was the greatest thing ever!" She screamed.
"What?" Zim said, confused.
"Thanks to you, Dib is gone! GONE! I'll never have to see his big head again!" Gaz rejoiced.
"Hey wait, how do you know that he's gone?"
"Dad said he thought that Dib went to a friend's house. Dib has no friends!"
"But how do you know I did it?"
"Well, I know that you and me are the only two people smart enough to know how to get rid of him for good."
"Hey, how did you know where I live!?"
"I didn't, I just knocked on every door in town until I found your house."
"Hmmm...Impressive." Zim said. "But anyway, I meant to freeze him to death."
"That's good too." Gaz said.
"Yes, he was accidentally sent to 1945 AD instead of BC, but before I can make the change I have to bring him back."
"Wait!" Gaz said.
"Yes? What?"
"Maybe we should just leave him there. I mean, it's 1945! We'll never see him again!"
Zim thought about it, "Hmm, it does seem like it would work...all right, I'll do it." Zim said. He laughed, "To think we're the only two people in the world that can send him back here!"
"Wait, how can I send him back?"
"It's simple, you'd just have to grab a personal possession of his and wish him to be back, or something." Zim explained.
Gaz laughed, "He's stuck! Stuck in 1945!"
Gaz and Zim laughed cruelly.
***
Well there's chapter one for you. Chapter two coming...when I get it done.