TITLE: 21 Again
AUTHOR: Allocin
SUMMARY: It's somebody's birthday, and they're in for an awful surprise.
RATING: G
CATEGORIES: General/PWP
CHARACTERS: Harry, Sirius, Remus.
TIMELIME: Of Western Stars (by neutral) universe.
DISCLAIMER: Thou haft feen ye Way of Lighte and foudeth it to be Owned by ye One Tru Mafter of the Univerfe - I. Noteth ye Sarcafm.
A/N: A present for neutral, written for her birthday on 28/05. Suffice it to say, she is not 21.
"Is this a good idea?" Harry asked nervously. Remus gave him a predatory grin as he peeked around the pantry door.
"It's a brilliant idea, Harry. Do you remember what Sirius did to me on my birthday?" he asked. Harry nodded. It had been an ... interesting experience for him to see two grown men throwing flour, eggs, toilet paper and feather pillows at each other at 8am. Even after two years living with his guardians, he was still sometimes taken by surprise when they pranked each other. Any attempts on him, however, were quickly thwarted, something which Sirius had learned the hard way even after being warned by Remus.
Arms full with various objects that Harry didn't try to identify, Remus nudged the door shut and set to work, chopping and dicing his ingredients and adding them to the cauldron. Harry himself set about making breakfast for one, which was then enhanced by Remus' additions. One all was complete, Remus set the plates on a tray and began to tiptoe up the stairs, beckoning for Harry to follow him. He did so with a mixture of reluctance and anticipation, levitating a breakfast tray behind him. Sirius' rumbling snores shook the very door to his bedroom, but Remus only grinned wider.
"He won't be waking any time soon," he murmured. Harry surreptitiously cast a Muffling Charm over himself and Remus, just to be sure. He felt quite pleased to implement a bit of new magic without attracting any attention. His guardians didn't seem to like him casting magic by himself to help around the house, though Harry didn't really understand why. Remus turned to Harry, his eyes glowing amber with glee.
"Now, you know what to do?" Harry nodded, still uncertain but unwilling to disappoint Remus. In his head he knew Sirius wouldn't mind, would probably enjoy it in fact, but years of teasing had made him acutely aware of the pain that pranks could cause a person. Still, Sirius and Remus were always joking with each other. Pushing his unease aside, Harry crept into the darkened bedroom, avoiding dirty socks and creaky floorboards with all the skills of a cat burglar. The breakfast tray glided silently in the air behind him.
Sprawled across the bed, his patchwork quilt coiled around his legs, Sirius snored on, oblivious to the evil intentions of one Remus J. Lupin. A shaft of light split through a gap in the curtains, illuminating the dancing smotes of dust above the pillows. Looking at Sirius' peaceful face, still bearing grooves of worry long ingrained over the years, Harry's heart twinged and he glanced back at Remus. His second Godfather gave him an encouraging thumbs-up, and though Harry knew the prank would probably embarrass Sirius, Harry saw in Remus nothing but joviality. None of Dudley's customary viciousness lurked in the good-natured smirk. Taking a deep breath, Harry climbed carefully onto the bed and prodded Sirius' shoulder.
"Padfoot? Padfoot, wake up. It's morning. Are you hungry? I've made you breakfast. Bacon, eggs, sausages, toast, and tea. Padfoot?" he murmured. Gradually, the rattling snores quieted as Sirius was dragged, twitching, from slumber.
"Harry?" he yawned, his grey eyes unfocused as he tried to peer into Harry's face. Nodding briefly at Remus, Harry helped Sirius sit up and lowered the tray carefully into his lap. "Did you make this?" Sirius asked, to which Harry nodded as he settled himself on the edge of the bed. Sirius delved in with all the gusto of a starved lion, oblivious of the two eyes watching every mouthful from the landing.
"Happy Birthday," mumbled Harry quietly, causing Sirius to choke on a large amount of scrambled egg. He swallowed it all very quickly, which brought tears to his eyes, before calmly putting his fork down and giving Harry a very serious look.
"Who told you that?" he asked with forced nonchalance. Harry's green eyes grew impossibly wide, and they seemed to glow eerily in the light sneaking past the curtains.
"I think Dumbledore said something in my last lesson," he replied thoughtfully. Beside him, Sirius relaxed. "How old are you?" Harry asked, again in that same innocent manner. In the landing, Remus was nearly bursting with laughter at the look of shock, anxiety and embarrassment on Sirius' face.
"Uhh, well, I'm ... that is, I, uh, I'm ... well. I'm 21 again," he answered at last, with a new note of confidence creeping into his voice. Harry looked up at him with a curious glint in his eye.
"Again?" he queried. Sirius nodded far too quickly. Suddenly, with a shrewd look most child psychologists would agree was beyond his years, Harry asked, "Is this a magical thing, like when the planets changed names?" Eyes shifting away from his Godson, Sirius looked distinctly uncomfortable.
"It was Moony who put me up to that," he defended lamely. There was a snort from the landing, finally alerting Sirius to the presence of his friend. Immediately alarm bells rang, and he tripped over his own feet as he scrambled out of bed. "Moony! What have you done?" he yelled, stubbing his toe as he rushed through the door. Harry followed more cautiously, stifling a laugh behind his hand as Sirius unconsciously brushed his rapidly growing hair behind his ear. Several strands fell to the floor, glittering like silver moonlight. Wheezing, Sirius descended, his each step going slower than the last.
At the kitchen table was Remus, calmly sipping a cup of mint tea while reading the Quibbler. He looked up with a cheerful expression as Sirius heaved himself towards his chair.
"Good morning, Padfoot. Sleep well?" Sirius attempted to glower at him, but couldn't seem to find the energy. Harry, who had appeared behind him, guided his Godfather into the chair, tucking his long white beard to the si - long white BEARD? Squinting, due to his suddenly and inexplicably atrocious eyesight, Sirius examined the new beard. Unease gripped him as his hands, shaking beyond his control and speckled with liver spots, gently probed his face. It felt a great deal ... baggier than normal, and his eyebrows seemed much longer. Going higher, his questing fingers encountered the greatest shock of all. He had NO HAIR.
"Tea, Sirius?" Remus offered with all the innocence of a wolf in sheep's clothing. Stood at his side, Harry looked as if he was torn between giggling and hiding. Sirius glared as best he could at Moony, which just made him look very sleepy.
"Very funny, ha ha," he grunted. His voice sounded much hoarser than normal. He had been and always would be the chief prankster of the Marauders, but even Sirius could appreciate the subtleness in Remus' plans, and the 99% success rate in undetected execution. But Sirius had his pride, and he refused to allow himself to ask for the antidote.
"The effects should wear off in oh," Remus checked his watch and grinned triumphantly, "24 hours. Can I get you anything for the duration?" Sirius sighed, resigning himself to a birthday of mockery.
"Some haemorrhoid cream wouldn't go amiss," he said with a wince.
"H-Haemorrhoid? What's that?" Harry piped up.
Sirius cringed.
Remus laughed.