GONE:
Two hours later...
TROTTER: Hahahaha! Have you heard this one? There's this blonde...an Elf...walks into a diner and orders a pizza, and the clerk asks if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. The Elf says, ''Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.
BOROMIR: Hahaha!! That's a good one!
TROTTER: Hahahaha! What's a pizza?
BOROMIR: I don't know, but it's really funny!
TROTTER: Yeah!! Hahahaha!
Frodo quit his game and joined Gandalf, who had been staring at the archways for the last four hours.
FRODO: Ganny, what's that monkey thing that's jumping around down there?
GANDALF: Some things that die deserve death, and some things that live deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to call other people monkeys. Have you ever seen a monkey?
FRODO: Nooo.
GANDALF: Then you never looked in a mirror.
FRODO: Ganny, how do you know when you're really in love?
GANDALF: What does your heart tell you?
FRODO: Upon my word! Gandalf, you are truly the most wise and profound person I have ever met!
Gandalf smiled cordially. Glarwenolas got up from (their?) seat, waving (their?) hands about to dry the ketchup-polish.
GLARWENOLAS: Well, fellows, shall we be going now?
GANDALF: But I haven't decided which archway is the right one! What if we go through the wrong one and end up in some alternate universe?
BOROMIR: Bwahahah! That's funny! Alternate universe! That's good!
TROTTER: Yeah! Hahaha! Right archway! Wrong archway! Bahahaha!
GLARWENOLAS: Well, in case you mortals haven't noticed, there's a sign above each archway.
LEGOLAS: Mortals! MORTALS!!!! You three-faced ketchup-guzzzling freakish excuse for me!
The hybrid stared at him coolly.
GLARWENOLAS: And Glorfindel and Arwen.
LEGOLAS: Argh!
The Fellowship tiptoed down the right archway's staircase, leaving the two elves to battle it out. Halfway down, Trotter began again.
TROTTER: Haha. Hey Borry. I remember this one time, my great–aunt slipped down some stairs just like theses-hahaha!-and they had to bury her! Hahaha!
BOROMIR: Hahaha! That's fun—hey, that wasn't funny at all!
TROTTER: It wasn't?
BOROMIR: No!
TROTTER: Hey, you're right. That wasn't funny.
BOROMIR: No. It wasn't
TROTTER: No.
BOROMIR: Naw-ah.
TROTTER: Not funny.
The Fellowship had now reached the bottom of the stairs. Legolas and Glawenolas caught up, looking very disheveled and bruised.
GANDALF: Here we are in the Great Hall. Let me risk a little more light.
Gandalf's flashlight doubled in brightness.
MERRY: Hey! Is that a three-way bulb?
GANDALF: Yes! No. Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are magnificent and protectors of ketchup.
Gandalf's flashlight experienced technical difficulties.
FELLOWSHIP: Hey! I can't see!
PIPPIN: See—To look at. To have the power of sight. To understand. To find out. To take care, make sure. To have knowledge or experience of. To attend to. To call on. To receive a call from.
Two hours later...
TROTTER: Hahahaha! Have you heard this one? There's this blonde...an Elf...walks into a diner and orders a pizza, and the clerk asks if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. The Elf says, ''Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.
BOROMIR: Hahaha!! That's a good one!
TROTTER: Hahahaha! What's a pizza?
BOROMIR: I don't know, but it's really funny!
TROTTER: Yeah!! Hahahaha!
Frodo quit his game and joined Gandalf, who had been staring at the archways for the last four hours.
FRODO: Ganny, what's that monkey thing that's jumping around down there?
GANDALF: Some things that die deserve death, and some things that live deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be so eager to call other people monkeys. Have you ever seen a monkey?
FRODO: Nooo.
GANDALF: Then you never looked in a mirror.
FRODO: Ganny, how do you know when you're really in love?
GANDALF: What does your heart tell you?
FRODO: Upon my word! Gandalf, you are truly the most wise and profound person I have ever met!
Gandalf smiled cordially. Glarwenolas got up from (their?) seat, waving (their?) hands about to dry the ketchup-polish.
GLARWENOLAS: Well, fellows, shall we be going now?
GANDALF: But I haven't decided which archway is the right one! What if we go through the wrong one and end up in some alternate universe?
BOROMIR: Bwahahah! That's funny! Alternate universe! That's good!
TROTTER: Yeah! Hahaha! Right archway! Wrong archway! Bahahaha!
GLARWENOLAS: Well, in case you mortals haven't noticed, there's a sign above each archway.
LEGOLAS: Mortals! MORTALS!!!! You three-faced ketchup-guzzzling freakish excuse for me!
The hybrid stared at him coolly.
GLARWENOLAS: And Glorfindel and Arwen.
LEGOLAS: Argh!
The Fellowship tiptoed down the right archway's staircase, leaving the two elves to battle it out. Halfway down, Trotter began again.
TROTTER: Haha. Hey Borry. I remember this one time, my great–aunt slipped down some stairs just like theses-hahaha!-and they had to bury her! Hahaha!
BOROMIR: Hahaha! That's fun—hey, that wasn't funny at all!
TROTTER: It wasn't?
BOROMIR: No!
TROTTER: Hey, you're right. That wasn't funny.
BOROMIR: No. It wasn't
TROTTER: No.
BOROMIR: Naw-ah.
TROTTER: Not funny.
The Fellowship had now reached the bottom of the stairs. Legolas and Glawenolas caught up, looking very disheveled and bruised.
GANDALF: Here we are in the Great Hall. Let me risk a little more light.
Gandalf's flashlight doubled in brightness.
MERRY: Hey! Is that a three-way bulb?
GANDALF: Yes! No. Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are magnificent and protectors of ketchup.
Gandalf's flashlight experienced technical difficulties.
FELLOWSHIP: Hey! I can't see!
PIPPIN: See—To look at. To have the power of sight. To understand. To find out. To take care, make sure. To have knowledge or experience of. To attend to. To call on. To receive a call from.