The next week . . .
"Okay guys here's the keys to the van and here's the file folder on your first victim," Mokuba told them as he handed Yugi the items in question since he knew that Yugi would look after them. Once again they were gathered in Mokuba's office at KCTV. Unfortunately for Mokuba it would be another week before the window or door could be repaired.
"Van?" Bakura asked with a small whine. "Why don't we get a cool SUV?"
"Lawyers," Mokuba replied with a shrug. "You get a van. Now get out of here and make me some more money!"
"That kid hangs around Kaiba too much," Marik muttered to Bakura as they left the office and made their way to the elevator. A few minutes later they arrived at the parking garage for the building.
"I'm driving!" Marik yelled as he grabbed the keys from Yugi and dashed towards the black van, which had already been installed with video cameras and a license place that read 'Fab Six'. Apparently Mokuba had better lawyers than Queer Eye if they could get away with that.
"Shot gun!" Bakura cried as he followed Marik and jumped in the front as soon as Marik unlocked the van. Knowing enough not to start any fights the other four piled into the back with Malik and Ryou sitting in the middle and Yami and Yugi in the far back.
Marik started the van and headed out to the street, while he was doing that Yugi opened the folder to see who the first person they were helping would be.
"And the first lucky person is . . . .Honda!"
"Who?" Malik asked with a confused expression on his face. In the front, Marik and Bakura were equally confused.
"You know . . . bad hair, one of my loyal cheerleaders, etc," Yami told with a wave of his hand.
"One of my best friends," Yugi added slightly annoyed at his yami.
"That too," Yami agreed with a nod.
"Let me see the picture!" Malik demanded and Yugi handed it too him. "Whoa! He really needs our help!" He then showed the picture to a quiet Ryou, because he was still too busy pouting over being stuck with the redecorating job, who nodded his head in agreement.
"Lets see!" Bakura demanded as he turned around in his seat.
"Yeah!" Marik agreed copying Bakura's movement. Unfortunately for any pedestrians on the street that now met that no one was driving the van. Fortunately for Marik though only one person was attempting to cross the street at that exact moment, a little old lady with a walker and wearing an army helmet (1). Unfortunately for Granny however, the van hit her straight on and she went flying into the air over the top of the van. Luckily getting run over by a yami was normal for the old lady and she was able to make a landing that could rival the top gymnast in the world before continuing on her way all while muttering "kids these days."
"What was that?" Ryou asked upon hearing the sound of the van hitting Granny and then of her trip over the top of the van.
"Beats me," Marik shrugged as he turned his attention back to the road. With relief he saw that everything was still okay. That noise must have been coming from another car and not the van which Seto would no doubt charge them for if they managed to damage it.
Fortunately for the citizens of Domino there were no other mishaps on their way to Honda's house.
"Okay guys, lets go!" Malik cried who had bounded out of the van as soon as it stopped in front of Honda's house. He raced to the door and gleefully pressed the doorbell while the others very slowly followed him. Running was just something that Yami, Marik and Bakura did not do unless they had too, where Yugi and Ryou weren't exactly looking forward to the entire experience. The others hadn't even made it to the door when Honda answered it.
"Uhh . . . Malik?" Honda asked unsure why the crazy, blonde Egyptian was at his door. It was then he noticed the others behind Malik. "Hey Yugi, Yami. What are you doing here?" He didn't bother saying hello to the two psychotic yamis and he was so use to ignoring Ryou that he didn't even notice that the white-haired hikari was there.
"You're the lucky person to be selected to be the first person on Queer Yami and Hikari for the Straight Guy!" Malik cried happily and the cameraman who had followed them in a taxi (lucky guy) gave a friendly wave. Turns out Malik loved the idea of the show once he discovered he would spend all his time buying clothes for people. For the past week he had been buying ever fashion magazine that he could find that he didn't already own.
Honda paled as he looked into the gleeful face of Malik, the smirking faces of Bakura and Marik, the bored face of Yami, the apologetic face of Yugi and since Honda finally noticed him, the pouting face of Ryou. This definitely did not sound good to him.
Honda tried protesting as Bakura and Marik shoved their way pass him with the others following. Each of them made mental notes as Yugi took the lead and led them to Honda's bedroom. Not surprising, the place was a mess with books and clothes all over the place. The walls were adorned with various motorcycle, sports and chicks posters.
Malik was soon disappointed by the fact that Honda did not have a huge walk- in closet and that most of the stuff he did own was somewhere on the floor.
"Ugh, lets just skip to the shopping stage!" the blonde Egyptian declared with disgust.
"Fine with me. Anything to get this over with," Honda replied finally realizing that he was outnumbered. He suspected that if it was only Ryou and Yugi he could get out of the entire thing but he knew it would do no good trying to argue with one yami let alone three yamis and one Malik.
"Good," Ryou nodded as he turned his attention to Malik and Marik. "Take him shopping and fix that thing he calls his hair while others can start helping me."
"Hey aren't you suppose to come too and I get to pick out something to go in the new room?" Honda asked, protesting the fact that Ryou was going to make over his room.
"Not on this show," Ryou replied. Part of the condition the others agreed upon was that Ryou had full say on how the room was going to look.
"Okay!" Malik beamed with one hand he grabbed Honda's wrist and with the other Marik's. He then began dragged them out of the room, through the house and outside where the van was parked.
Fifteen minutes later they all found themselves at Domino Mall. This time Malik had driven who's driving skills are only slightly better than his yami's but at least no one's granny was run over this time. Honda then had the pleasure of being dragged store to store by Malik while Marik went off to the local salon to arrange things for later.
"Tip one," Malik began as he threw a couple of shirts into Honda's arms. "Show as much skin as possible that makes them want to see that rest." He indicated to his own lavender shirt he had on which was cut so that it nicely showed off his smooth stomach and muscular arms. "Tip two, you can't go wrong with leather." He then proceeded to toss some tight leather pants at Honda. "Remember the more leather the better. That's a tip that the Pharaoh will agree with so you know it's a good one."
"Umm . . . got it," Honda replied while praying that their little shopping trip will be over soon.
"Now onto underwear tips," Malik continued as he pranced around the store with an uncomfortable Honda following him. "Either wear tongs or nothing at all. Trust me it's a great way to turn on your significant other." Various colors of tongs were thrown at Honda as well; who was now also praying that no one he knew from school was around.
"Great now pay for this and we'll meet up with Marik," Malik told Honda with a large grin as he turned around and faced Yugi's friend. Malik then turned back around and started too look for something for himself while Honda paid.
"Whoa wait a minute!" Honda protested causing Malik to roll his eyes before turning back around and flashing a fake smile at Honda. "That's it? You don't want me to try the clothes on or anything?"
"Nope," Malik replied as he started to turn away again to shop for himself.
"How do we know that they'll fit?" inquired Honda and he was being to frustrate Malik. He really wanted to look at a shirt he saw and liked.
"Trust me I'm an expert when it comes to clothes! They'll fit!"
"But how am I suppose to pay for all this stuff?"
"Stop the camera," Malik quickly ordered the cameraman who immediately did what he was told, causing Malik to smile somewhat. It was not even halfway through the first day and already he had the cameramen scared of him.
Malik then turned his attention back to Honda. "You have your parents credit card don't you?!" he practically yelled at Honda ignoring the strange looks they were beginning to from the employees and other customers.
"What?! But I thought the show was suppose to pay for everything?!"
"Well I guess you didn't read the fine print when you signed up," Malik replied with a smirk.
"But I didn't sign up! You guys just showed up at my house and forced me into this!"
"Maybe someone signed you up for you," Malik replied with a shrug. "I honestly don't care. But now that you're on the show there's no getting out of it." He then signaled to the cameraman to begin rolling again.
"Fine! But next time I suggest you go after Kaiba who can actually afford a makeover," Honda yelled back at Malik. "I'm going to be still paying all this back when I'm thirty!"
"Are you sure you're going to live that long?" Malik muttered under his breath, while glaring at Honda as he stormed off to pay for the pile of clothes.
Upon paying for the clothes it was time for Malik and Honda to meet up with Marik, who while the other two were shopping had been busy using his Millennium Rod on employees of a hair salon he found to let them use the place for free. While Marik dragged Honda off, who knew better than to protest, Malik returned to Honda's place to pick up the others who needed to collect supplies to complete their tasks.
Unfortunately for Honda he soon found himself sitting in a chair while Marik was looking thoughtfully at his hair.
"I know!" Marik suddenly cried while snapping his fingers. He raced away and returned a few seconds later with a bottle of hair tonic that he began dumping on Honda's head.
"Aghhhhhh! It burns!" Honda cried in protest.
"That means it's working," Marik informed him with a grin.
"What is this stuff?!"
"Hair tonic to make your hair grow," Marik replied as if it was a stupid question. "Your hair is too short so this is fastest way to speed up the process."
"Get this stuff off my head!" Honda begged. "Please! I'll do anything!"
An evil smile appeared on Marik's face as he signaled to the cameraman to stop filming. "Anything?"
"Yes!"
"Ten grand."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me. Give me ten thousand dollars."
"I don't have that kind of money!"
"Too bad then," Marik replied with a shrug so the torture on Honda continued.
For the next two hours Honda thought that he was going to die as the pain continued despite Marik telling him that only met the hair tonic was working. Unfortunately Marik had been wrong. Instead of making Honda's hair longer so he could style it in the same manner with his own, the hair tonic burnt Honda's hair to a small crisp.
When they were picked up later by Bakura (who was driving), Yugi and Yami two of them knew better then to say anything but they were still silently laughing at the situation. Any idiot who allowed Marik anywhere near his hair deserved for that to happen. Bakura on the other hand was laughing out loud at Honda and Marik, Honda for being stupid enough to allow that to happen and Marik for being stupid enough to do it in the first place.
"Now what?" Honda asked with a groan as he and Marik climbed into the van and Bakura began to drive off.
"Yami and I are going to help you improve your social life," Yugi informed him as Bakura drove them to the game shop owned by Yugi's grandfather.
"What are we doing here?" Honda asked as Bakura and Marik dropped them off before driving away.
"Yugi already told you," Yami replied. "If Duel Monsters doesn't improve your social life nothing will and this is the best place to begin building a dueling deck and to get a dueling disk."
"Plus your grandfather gets the money from everything that I buy since I know the show it too cheap to let pay for anything," Honda added dryly.
"Make sure that part is cut out during editing," Yami told the cameraman who nodded his head.
"Come on Honda it won't be that bad," Yugi told him looking at his friend with his big innocent eyes.
"That's not going to work on me," Honda told him.
"Be nice to my Aibou," Yami warned him, who gave in knowing not to mess with the former Pharaoh. Unfortunately for Honda that met spending the next hour and half listening to Yami and Yugi go on and on about Duel Monsters. Honda had tried being smart and let the two experts select a dueling deck for him but they had looked shocked when he suggested and informed him that if they created the deck then his heart wouldn't be in it. Knowing how much the heart of the cards met to Yugi and Yami, Honda decided it was best just to bear with it and get finished as fast as possible.
Finally after paying for everything they were picked up by Ryou, who was grumbling that Marik and Malik had decided that their part was now over and was currently 'getting it on' in Honda's new room. Honda didn't know whether to be angry or start sobbing over that little tidbit of information.
Upon arriving back at Honda's place, Bakura dragged Honda immediately into the kitchen where Bakura showed him how to prepare a meal for his friends that night, which according to Bakura was only going to be Anzu and Jou since Kaiba refused to go and refused to let Mokuba go as well, Mai was out of the country, Otagi was going out on a date with Shizuka and none of the yamis or hikaris were allowed to go (like the yamis would want to go anyway).
"Umm . . . that's all?" Honda asked as he stared at what Bakura had decided on for 'dinner', which was rare steak and vodka.
"What's wrong with my dinner?" Bakura growled defensively. His hand was edging unconsciously towards a knife on the counter.
"Nothing, nothing!" Honda quickly replied as he held up his hands and backed slowly away. Fortunately for Honda Ryou decided to enter the kitchen at that moment and Bakura wouldn't risk doing anything in front of Ryou for fear that Ryou would band sex from him for life.
"Are you guys finished here? Marik and Malik have finally left the room. We should hurry up and have you look at it before they get their second wind and decide to go back in," he told them.
"Yeah, yeah," Bakura replied with a wave of his hand and Honda gladly followed Ryou out of the room.
"How do you live with him cooking?" he whispered to Ryou as soon as they were far enough away from the kitchen.
"Oh I do all the cooking or we order in," Ryou told him before breaking out with laugher. "Do you really think that I would be stupid enough to A) Eat anything that he cooked and B) Let him anywhere near the stove? The house would have burned down long before now!"
"Then why did you let him cook for me?!"
"Because he wanted to," Ryou replied with a shrug. "He always complains that I cook his meat too much so this is his chance for him to show me what he likes."
"All he cooked was rare steak to eat and vodka to drink!"
"Well if that's what he likes then that's what he likes," Ryou replied with another shrug. Before Honda could protest any further they had reached his room and Ryou opened the door to show him what he did.
The first thing that Honda noticed was that it was clean with all his stuff put nicely away. At least that was some improvement. The walls were same color as before as well.
"We didn't have time to paint after we finished cleaning," Ryou told him apologetically. Honda was grateful for that as who knew what color Ryou would pick out for him.
It was then that Honda noticed something that didn't belong. It was a large cabinet full of tiny toy dolls that looked like they belonged in some sort of game. It looked kind of familiar to Honda.
"What are these . . . things?" he asked Ryou.
"They use to be mine," Ryou replied with a blush. "Before we moved here Bakura would steal the souls of any friends I made and seal them inside those little dolls which are used to play this game called Monster World. I didn't want them anymore and I thought they would look good in here to . . . broaden your taste from the usual . . . stuff . . . you like."
"There's . . . no souls trapped in them now are there?" Honda asked staring at the little dolls.
"I don't think so," Ryou replied and Honda stared at him in shock. "Well Bakura said he was going to return all the souls but you know how lazy he can be."
"Ryou?!"
"What is it?" Ryou asked.
"There could be souls trapped in those toys and you don't care?!"
"Oh that!" Ryou replied with a laugh. "I guess I've been hanging out with Bakura for too long."
Just then, Bakura stuck his head in the door. "Lets go Ryou," he commanded. "Our work here is done."
"Okay," Ryou nodded his head before turning back to Honda. "Well I hope you like the dolls and have fun tonight. Remember we have cameras set up all over the house so we'll be watching everything you do." With that Ryou was gone and Honda was left all alone with the creepy dolls.
The ride back to the studio was safer for all parties involved since Yugi was driving. He was not driving by choice however since both Bakura and Marik had dragged their respective hikari into the back and immediately began making out. Yugi had wanted to make out with Yami as well but for some strange reason the cameraman had refused to get in the van with them and took a taxi again instead even though they let him know that the fare for the taxi was coming out of his own pocket. Finally however they made it back to the KCTV studio where Mokuba had made sure that a set had been made up for them in an apartment style where they could view what Honda was up too.
As they took their seats (all the hikaris sitting in their yami's lap), Yami clicked on the large plasma TV and they all began watching Honda get ready for his 'big' night.
"This is boring!" Bakura declared after two minutes and no one complained as he grabbed the remote to find something else to watch. All that was on however was a lame anime about Duel Monsters.
"Who watches this stuff!" Bakura grumbled not noticing that both Yami and Yugi were highly engrossed in what was happening on screen.
"Morons with no lives," Marik replied.
"We're watching it right now," Malik pointed out. "That makes us morons."
"Ugh, find something else on," Marik told Bakura who began flipping channels again much to the disappointment of Yami and Yugi. Arriving back at Honda, Bakura was satisfied to see that he didn't screw anything up while cooking the dinner that night. He then began flipping channels again but like before nothing was on so they ended up back on the Dueling Monster anime.
"I still can't believe that people watch this show," Bakura announced to the room.
"At least it's colorful," Ryou replied which resulted in a scowl from Bakura.
"Color sucks."
"That guy with white hair who's laughing like a maniac is kinda cute," Ryou said pointing out the guy.
"The blonde's better," replied Malik. Marik nodded his head in agreement.
"Ugh check out that loser good guy," Bakura told him pointing to a guy with weird hair. Both Yami and Yugi were too busy trying to pay attention to the show to know what any of them were talking about. During the commercial Bakura flipped back to Honda to discover that no one was there even though his friends should have been over by now.
"What happened?" Yugi asked concerned for his friends. Just then Mokuba walked on the set and called "Cut!"
"What do you want midget?" Marik growled which resulted in Malik coughing "ownerofthenetwork" to clue in his dimwitted yami.
"I came to tell you guys that we had to stop filling because Honda, Jou and Anzu were all taken to the hospital," Mokuba informed him. "Early reports state that they have food and alcohol poisoning although I'm not quiet sure how that happened. Bakura what did you tell Honda to make?"
"Caesar Salad with a glass of wine to go along with it," Bakura replied innocently.
"Umm . . . okay," Mokuba replied not really believing him but he knew enough not to attempt to argue with the former King of Thieves . "Maybe they caught it yesterday from the cafeteria food. In any case you guys are free to go. We'll edit it somehow so it doesn't look like anything bad happened."
With happy cries the yami's jump to their feet with their hikari's in their arms. Who knew having a TV show was so much work? And most of them hadn't gotten laid all day. A yami going almost a full day without sex was nearly an impossible thing to happen.
They all went their separate ways knowing that tomorrow they would have to help another poor, innocent victim all in the name of TV.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
1. Those who read 'The Game of Life' should recognize her. Yep it's the same one. ^_^
A/N - Eep! 9 ½ pages this sucker is! Hell half the essays I wrote/have to write this year isn't this long. For the record I do like Honda, I just think he's boring. ^_^
Right now I'm trying to think of who to do next. *evil grin*
"Okay guys here's the keys to the van and here's the file folder on your first victim," Mokuba told them as he handed Yugi the items in question since he knew that Yugi would look after them. Once again they were gathered in Mokuba's office at KCTV. Unfortunately for Mokuba it would be another week before the window or door could be repaired.
"Van?" Bakura asked with a small whine. "Why don't we get a cool SUV?"
"Lawyers," Mokuba replied with a shrug. "You get a van. Now get out of here and make me some more money!"
"That kid hangs around Kaiba too much," Marik muttered to Bakura as they left the office and made their way to the elevator. A few minutes later they arrived at the parking garage for the building.
"I'm driving!" Marik yelled as he grabbed the keys from Yugi and dashed towards the black van, which had already been installed with video cameras and a license place that read 'Fab Six'. Apparently Mokuba had better lawyers than Queer Eye if they could get away with that.
"Shot gun!" Bakura cried as he followed Marik and jumped in the front as soon as Marik unlocked the van. Knowing enough not to start any fights the other four piled into the back with Malik and Ryou sitting in the middle and Yami and Yugi in the far back.
Marik started the van and headed out to the street, while he was doing that Yugi opened the folder to see who the first person they were helping would be.
"And the first lucky person is . . . .Honda!"
"Who?" Malik asked with a confused expression on his face. In the front, Marik and Bakura were equally confused.
"You know . . . bad hair, one of my loyal cheerleaders, etc," Yami told with a wave of his hand.
"One of my best friends," Yugi added slightly annoyed at his yami.
"That too," Yami agreed with a nod.
"Let me see the picture!" Malik demanded and Yugi handed it too him. "Whoa! He really needs our help!" He then showed the picture to a quiet Ryou, because he was still too busy pouting over being stuck with the redecorating job, who nodded his head in agreement.
"Lets see!" Bakura demanded as he turned around in his seat.
"Yeah!" Marik agreed copying Bakura's movement. Unfortunately for any pedestrians on the street that now met that no one was driving the van. Fortunately for Marik though only one person was attempting to cross the street at that exact moment, a little old lady with a walker and wearing an army helmet (1). Unfortunately for Granny however, the van hit her straight on and she went flying into the air over the top of the van. Luckily getting run over by a yami was normal for the old lady and she was able to make a landing that could rival the top gymnast in the world before continuing on her way all while muttering "kids these days."
"What was that?" Ryou asked upon hearing the sound of the van hitting Granny and then of her trip over the top of the van.
"Beats me," Marik shrugged as he turned his attention back to the road. With relief he saw that everything was still okay. That noise must have been coming from another car and not the van which Seto would no doubt charge them for if they managed to damage it.
Fortunately for the citizens of Domino there were no other mishaps on their way to Honda's house.
"Okay guys, lets go!" Malik cried who had bounded out of the van as soon as it stopped in front of Honda's house. He raced to the door and gleefully pressed the doorbell while the others very slowly followed him. Running was just something that Yami, Marik and Bakura did not do unless they had too, where Yugi and Ryou weren't exactly looking forward to the entire experience. The others hadn't even made it to the door when Honda answered it.
"Uhh . . . Malik?" Honda asked unsure why the crazy, blonde Egyptian was at his door. It was then he noticed the others behind Malik. "Hey Yugi, Yami. What are you doing here?" He didn't bother saying hello to the two psychotic yamis and he was so use to ignoring Ryou that he didn't even notice that the white-haired hikari was there.
"You're the lucky person to be selected to be the first person on Queer Yami and Hikari for the Straight Guy!" Malik cried happily and the cameraman who had followed them in a taxi (lucky guy) gave a friendly wave. Turns out Malik loved the idea of the show once he discovered he would spend all his time buying clothes for people. For the past week he had been buying ever fashion magazine that he could find that he didn't already own.
Honda paled as he looked into the gleeful face of Malik, the smirking faces of Bakura and Marik, the bored face of Yami, the apologetic face of Yugi and since Honda finally noticed him, the pouting face of Ryou. This definitely did not sound good to him.
Honda tried protesting as Bakura and Marik shoved their way pass him with the others following. Each of them made mental notes as Yugi took the lead and led them to Honda's bedroom. Not surprising, the place was a mess with books and clothes all over the place. The walls were adorned with various motorcycle, sports and chicks posters.
Malik was soon disappointed by the fact that Honda did not have a huge walk- in closet and that most of the stuff he did own was somewhere on the floor.
"Ugh, lets just skip to the shopping stage!" the blonde Egyptian declared with disgust.
"Fine with me. Anything to get this over with," Honda replied finally realizing that he was outnumbered. He suspected that if it was only Ryou and Yugi he could get out of the entire thing but he knew it would do no good trying to argue with one yami let alone three yamis and one Malik.
"Good," Ryou nodded as he turned his attention to Malik and Marik. "Take him shopping and fix that thing he calls his hair while others can start helping me."
"Hey aren't you suppose to come too and I get to pick out something to go in the new room?" Honda asked, protesting the fact that Ryou was going to make over his room.
"Not on this show," Ryou replied. Part of the condition the others agreed upon was that Ryou had full say on how the room was going to look.
"Okay!" Malik beamed with one hand he grabbed Honda's wrist and with the other Marik's. He then began dragged them out of the room, through the house and outside where the van was parked.
Fifteen minutes later they all found themselves at Domino Mall. This time Malik had driven who's driving skills are only slightly better than his yami's but at least no one's granny was run over this time. Honda then had the pleasure of being dragged store to store by Malik while Marik went off to the local salon to arrange things for later.
"Tip one," Malik began as he threw a couple of shirts into Honda's arms. "Show as much skin as possible that makes them want to see that rest." He indicated to his own lavender shirt he had on which was cut so that it nicely showed off his smooth stomach and muscular arms. "Tip two, you can't go wrong with leather." He then proceeded to toss some tight leather pants at Honda. "Remember the more leather the better. That's a tip that the Pharaoh will agree with so you know it's a good one."
"Umm . . . got it," Honda replied while praying that their little shopping trip will be over soon.
"Now onto underwear tips," Malik continued as he pranced around the store with an uncomfortable Honda following him. "Either wear tongs or nothing at all. Trust me it's a great way to turn on your significant other." Various colors of tongs were thrown at Honda as well; who was now also praying that no one he knew from school was around.
"Great now pay for this and we'll meet up with Marik," Malik told Honda with a large grin as he turned around and faced Yugi's friend. Malik then turned back around and started too look for something for himself while Honda paid.
"Whoa wait a minute!" Honda protested causing Malik to roll his eyes before turning back around and flashing a fake smile at Honda. "That's it? You don't want me to try the clothes on or anything?"
"Nope," Malik replied as he started to turn away again to shop for himself.
"How do we know that they'll fit?" inquired Honda and he was being to frustrate Malik. He really wanted to look at a shirt he saw and liked.
"Trust me I'm an expert when it comes to clothes! They'll fit!"
"But how am I suppose to pay for all this stuff?"
"Stop the camera," Malik quickly ordered the cameraman who immediately did what he was told, causing Malik to smile somewhat. It was not even halfway through the first day and already he had the cameramen scared of him.
Malik then turned his attention back to Honda. "You have your parents credit card don't you?!" he practically yelled at Honda ignoring the strange looks they were beginning to from the employees and other customers.
"What?! But I thought the show was suppose to pay for everything?!"
"Well I guess you didn't read the fine print when you signed up," Malik replied with a smirk.
"But I didn't sign up! You guys just showed up at my house and forced me into this!"
"Maybe someone signed you up for you," Malik replied with a shrug. "I honestly don't care. But now that you're on the show there's no getting out of it." He then signaled to the cameraman to begin rolling again.
"Fine! But next time I suggest you go after Kaiba who can actually afford a makeover," Honda yelled back at Malik. "I'm going to be still paying all this back when I'm thirty!"
"Are you sure you're going to live that long?" Malik muttered under his breath, while glaring at Honda as he stormed off to pay for the pile of clothes.
Upon paying for the clothes it was time for Malik and Honda to meet up with Marik, who while the other two were shopping had been busy using his Millennium Rod on employees of a hair salon he found to let them use the place for free. While Marik dragged Honda off, who knew better than to protest, Malik returned to Honda's place to pick up the others who needed to collect supplies to complete their tasks.
Unfortunately for Honda he soon found himself sitting in a chair while Marik was looking thoughtfully at his hair.
"I know!" Marik suddenly cried while snapping his fingers. He raced away and returned a few seconds later with a bottle of hair tonic that he began dumping on Honda's head.
"Aghhhhhh! It burns!" Honda cried in protest.
"That means it's working," Marik informed him with a grin.
"What is this stuff?!"
"Hair tonic to make your hair grow," Marik replied as if it was a stupid question. "Your hair is too short so this is fastest way to speed up the process."
"Get this stuff off my head!" Honda begged. "Please! I'll do anything!"
An evil smile appeared on Marik's face as he signaled to the cameraman to stop filming. "Anything?"
"Yes!"
"Ten grand."
"WHAT?!"
"You heard me. Give me ten thousand dollars."
"I don't have that kind of money!"
"Too bad then," Marik replied with a shrug so the torture on Honda continued.
For the next two hours Honda thought that he was going to die as the pain continued despite Marik telling him that only met the hair tonic was working. Unfortunately Marik had been wrong. Instead of making Honda's hair longer so he could style it in the same manner with his own, the hair tonic burnt Honda's hair to a small crisp.
When they were picked up later by Bakura (who was driving), Yugi and Yami two of them knew better then to say anything but they were still silently laughing at the situation. Any idiot who allowed Marik anywhere near his hair deserved for that to happen. Bakura on the other hand was laughing out loud at Honda and Marik, Honda for being stupid enough to allow that to happen and Marik for being stupid enough to do it in the first place.
"Now what?" Honda asked with a groan as he and Marik climbed into the van and Bakura began to drive off.
"Yami and I are going to help you improve your social life," Yugi informed him as Bakura drove them to the game shop owned by Yugi's grandfather.
"What are we doing here?" Honda asked as Bakura and Marik dropped them off before driving away.
"Yugi already told you," Yami replied. "If Duel Monsters doesn't improve your social life nothing will and this is the best place to begin building a dueling deck and to get a dueling disk."
"Plus your grandfather gets the money from everything that I buy since I know the show it too cheap to let pay for anything," Honda added dryly.
"Make sure that part is cut out during editing," Yami told the cameraman who nodded his head.
"Come on Honda it won't be that bad," Yugi told him looking at his friend with his big innocent eyes.
"That's not going to work on me," Honda told him.
"Be nice to my Aibou," Yami warned him, who gave in knowing not to mess with the former Pharaoh. Unfortunately for Honda that met spending the next hour and half listening to Yami and Yugi go on and on about Duel Monsters. Honda had tried being smart and let the two experts select a dueling deck for him but they had looked shocked when he suggested and informed him that if they created the deck then his heart wouldn't be in it. Knowing how much the heart of the cards met to Yugi and Yami, Honda decided it was best just to bear with it and get finished as fast as possible.
Finally after paying for everything they were picked up by Ryou, who was grumbling that Marik and Malik had decided that their part was now over and was currently 'getting it on' in Honda's new room. Honda didn't know whether to be angry or start sobbing over that little tidbit of information.
Upon arriving back at Honda's place, Bakura dragged Honda immediately into the kitchen where Bakura showed him how to prepare a meal for his friends that night, which according to Bakura was only going to be Anzu and Jou since Kaiba refused to go and refused to let Mokuba go as well, Mai was out of the country, Otagi was going out on a date with Shizuka and none of the yamis or hikaris were allowed to go (like the yamis would want to go anyway).
"Umm . . . that's all?" Honda asked as he stared at what Bakura had decided on for 'dinner', which was rare steak and vodka.
"What's wrong with my dinner?" Bakura growled defensively. His hand was edging unconsciously towards a knife on the counter.
"Nothing, nothing!" Honda quickly replied as he held up his hands and backed slowly away. Fortunately for Honda Ryou decided to enter the kitchen at that moment and Bakura wouldn't risk doing anything in front of Ryou for fear that Ryou would band sex from him for life.
"Are you guys finished here? Marik and Malik have finally left the room. We should hurry up and have you look at it before they get their second wind and decide to go back in," he told them.
"Yeah, yeah," Bakura replied with a wave of his hand and Honda gladly followed Ryou out of the room.
"How do you live with him cooking?" he whispered to Ryou as soon as they were far enough away from the kitchen.
"Oh I do all the cooking or we order in," Ryou told him before breaking out with laugher. "Do you really think that I would be stupid enough to A) Eat anything that he cooked and B) Let him anywhere near the stove? The house would have burned down long before now!"
"Then why did you let him cook for me?!"
"Because he wanted to," Ryou replied with a shrug. "He always complains that I cook his meat too much so this is his chance for him to show me what he likes."
"All he cooked was rare steak to eat and vodka to drink!"
"Well if that's what he likes then that's what he likes," Ryou replied with another shrug. Before Honda could protest any further they had reached his room and Ryou opened the door to show him what he did.
The first thing that Honda noticed was that it was clean with all his stuff put nicely away. At least that was some improvement. The walls were same color as before as well.
"We didn't have time to paint after we finished cleaning," Ryou told him apologetically. Honda was grateful for that as who knew what color Ryou would pick out for him.
It was then that Honda noticed something that didn't belong. It was a large cabinet full of tiny toy dolls that looked like they belonged in some sort of game. It looked kind of familiar to Honda.
"What are these . . . things?" he asked Ryou.
"They use to be mine," Ryou replied with a blush. "Before we moved here Bakura would steal the souls of any friends I made and seal them inside those little dolls which are used to play this game called Monster World. I didn't want them anymore and I thought they would look good in here to . . . broaden your taste from the usual . . . stuff . . . you like."
"There's . . . no souls trapped in them now are there?" Honda asked staring at the little dolls.
"I don't think so," Ryou replied and Honda stared at him in shock. "Well Bakura said he was going to return all the souls but you know how lazy he can be."
"Ryou?!"
"What is it?" Ryou asked.
"There could be souls trapped in those toys and you don't care?!"
"Oh that!" Ryou replied with a laugh. "I guess I've been hanging out with Bakura for too long."
Just then, Bakura stuck his head in the door. "Lets go Ryou," he commanded. "Our work here is done."
"Okay," Ryou nodded his head before turning back to Honda. "Well I hope you like the dolls and have fun tonight. Remember we have cameras set up all over the house so we'll be watching everything you do." With that Ryou was gone and Honda was left all alone with the creepy dolls.
The ride back to the studio was safer for all parties involved since Yugi was driving. He was not driving by choice however since both Bakura and Marik had dragged their respective hikari into the back and immediately began making out. Yugi had wanted to make out with Yami as well but for some strange reason the cameraman had refused to get in the van with them and took a taxi again instead even though they let him know that the fare for the taxi was coming out of his own pocket. Finally however they made it back to the KCTV studio where Mokuba had made sure that a set had been made up for them in an apartment style where they could view what Honda was up too.
As they took their seats (all the hikaris sitting in their yami's lap), Yami clicked on the large plasma TV and they all began watching Honda get ready for his 'big' night.
"This is boring!" Bakura declared after two minutes and no one complained as he grabbed the remote to find something else to watch. All that was on however was a lame anime about Duel Monsters.
"Who watches this stuff!" Bakura grumbled not noticing that both Yami and Yugi were highly engrossed in what was happening on screen.
"Morons with no lives," Marik replied.
"We're watching it right now," Malik pointed out. "That makes us morons."
"Ugh, find something else on," Marik told Bakura who began flipping channels again much to the disappointment of Yami and Yugi. Arriving back at Honda, Bakura was satisfied to see that he didn't screw anything up while cooking the dinner that night. He then began flipping channels again but like before nothing was on so they ended up back on the Dueling Monster anime.
"I still can't believe that people watch this show," Bakura announced to the room.
"At least it's colorful," Ryou replied which resulted in a scowl from Bakura.
"Color sucks."
"That guy with white hair who's laughing like a maniac is kinda cute," Ryou said pointing out the guy.
"The blonde's better," replied Malik. Marik nodded his head in agreement.
"Ugh check out that loser good guy," Bakura told him pointing to a guy with weird hair. Both Yami and Yugi were too busy trying to pay attention to the show to know what any of them were talking about. During the commercial Bakura flipped back to Honda to discover that no one was there even though his friends should have been over by now.
"What happened?" Yugi asked concerned for his friends. Just then Mokuba walked on the set and called "Cut!"
"What do you want midget?" Marik growled which resulted in Malik coughing "ownerofthenetwork" to clue in his dimwitted yami.
"I came to tell you guys that we had to stop filling because Honda, Jou and Anzu were all taken to the hospital," Mokuba informed him. "Early reports state that they have food and alcohol poisoning although I'm not quiet sure how that happened. Bakura what did you tell Honda to make?"
"Caesar Salad with a glass of wine to go along with it," Bakura replied innocently.
"Umm . . . okay," Mokuba replied not really believing him but he knew enough not to attempt to argue with the former King of Thieves . "Maybe they caught it yesterday from the cafeteria food. In any case you guys are free to go. We'll edit it somehow so it doesn't look like anything bad happened."
With happy cries the yami's jump to their feet with their hikari's in their arms. Who knew having a TV show was so much work? And most of them hadn't gotten laid all day. A yami going almost a full day without sex was nearly an impossible thing to happen.
They all went their separate ways knowing that tomorrow they would have to help another poor, innocent victim all in the name of TV.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
1. Those who read 'The Game of Life' should recognize her. Yep it's the same one. ^_^
A/N - Eep! 9 ½ pages this sucker is! Hell half the essays I wrote/have to write this year isn't this long. For the record I do like Honda, I just think he's boring. ^_^
Right now I'm trying to think of who to do next. *evil grin*